I know I shouldn't think like this....but I am sort of ashamed to get surgery....I haven't even told my sister because I don't want anyone to know (she can't keep a secret). Also I keep thinking maybe I could diet one more time...I might stick to it this time. Then I think no I do need this...I'm at a tug of war feeling so down about my self....that I am sinking to a low of surgery? Just throwing my thoughts out there...

Thank you! I never did get counseling, I just started drinking like a fool and not using my head. That was my way of dealing with it. I didn't stop drinking until I got pregnant with my little one who is now almost 3 years old. I believe that he saved my life but his "father" has nothing to do with him and he's pretty much abandoned him. So, that's just one more ordeal you can put in my list I guess lol

Thank you! I never did get counseling, I just started drinking like a fool and not using my head. That was my way of dealing with it. I didn't stop drinking until I got pregnant with my little one who is now almost 3 years old. I believe that he saved my life but his "father" has nothing to do with him and he's pretty much abandoned him. So, that's just one more ordeal you can put in my list I guess lol

Totally understood. My daughter, who I had at 17, was also abandoned by her father. I'm now married to a wonderful man who my girl thinks of as her Daddy, and he's in the process of adopting her. I totally get where you're coming from.

I hope that I can find someone like that someday. They are hard to find that's for sure!

My surgery is on Monday (July 30). When I first decided to have surgery, I thought to myself that this was an unnatural thing and that I was a fool (and a failure) for going this route until I told myself that being 400+ pounds was also not natural or normal. I am ready! I am getting impatient for the new me!

Hi everyone, my surgery is next Tuesday. I have struggled with the decision for almost two years and I also avoid telling people about my surgery because most of my friends just don't get it. They tell me to go on a diet or start running lol. That's pretty much what I have been trying to do since I was 18 (and I'm 33 now). So, actually, I don't think I'm ashamed of my decision but I also don't feel the need to have this talk over and over again and try to convince people of something I have decided for myself. My husband and my parents support me, my therapist is ok with it and I hope everything will be just fine. See you all on the other side. xoxo

My surgery is on Monday. I have been busy telling everyone. I am a teacher and off for the summer, but the staff that I have visited with this summer have been nothing but positive. I am usually a very independent person at work and don't ask for help. I start work 2 weeks after surgery and decided that I needed to have people ready to help me with lifting etc. Everyone has told me that it was wonderful that I was doing this for myself. I know the difference this time is that I am ready for this and I am proud that I am taking this step for my health.

Hi Susan G!

My surgery is Monday as well, AND I am a teacher, AND I will have only two weeks before I have to report back to school as well! I am concerned about pain, fatigue, making time to drink and eat, nausea, and bathroom breaks! I don't want to push myself too far too fast, but I also just don't want to lie around either. I have already drafted my son and daughter to help with moving items and setting up my classroom. I haven't told my administration or anyone else about my surgery, just a few close friends. I am determined to make this work, though! Good luck on Monday!

I have struggled with these feelings as well. And I felt (OK..sometimes still feel) doubly ashamed because I am a Registered Dietitian who sometimes works in a surgical weight loss clinic - go figure! But I had to come to the realization, with a lot of therapy and prayer and wise counsel, that I am doing this for my health, and that everyone needs help. And it also took a friend of mine who has had RYN to help me see that I will actually be able to better help my patients because I will truly understand what theyhave gone and are going through.

I had a hard time telling my boss as well because she is a "streotypical Type-A personality" RD, so I wasn't sure how she was going to react. But I've been struggling with my weight and all of the accompany issues, including clincal depression, for over 30 years, and I'm am tired.

So, I had to get myself to a place where I am at peace with myself and my decision. And now, I am just ready to get on with it and have the 2nd half of my life be so much better than the 1st!

I'd be more ashamed if I didn't do everything possible to get healthy. Each and every one of us owes that to themselves.

I can relate, OP. Like Kenny Rogers said, "you got to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em'..." I just could not do diet insanity and bounce all over the scale again. It's not good for the body nor my state of mind. Just don't tell anyone you don't feel comfortable telling.

I think a lot of us struggle with the decision. It's easy to think of this decision as "giving up". But in reality it's more like facing facts. The numbers don't lie, the vast majority of obese people cannot keep the weight off on their own.

As for telling other people and what they might think, I've told every one around me and I haven't heard one negative comment. I've asked a few people if they've ever known anyone who had WLS and did they ever hear any negative comments behind that person's back. The answer has always been no. I've read many posts on this forum about people who have shared their surgery with everyone in their lives, and the majority of those people seem glad they did it.

My point is, if you do choose to tell people you've had the surgery, I think people will be more supportive than you expect. Most people don't want to be jerks (there are exceptions). Most people want to be supportive. But I also believe a big factor in how well that works out is YOU. If people think they can manipulate you and shame or cajole you into doing things their way, they will try. If you are a confident person and you stand behind your decisions, people will know you cannot be swayed so why waste the energy.

But either way, if you believe having WLS is the right decision for you, don't let what other people think about it stop you.

Thanks so much guys! You have really helped me out I am feeling a lot better now. I told my sister today...big leap...eeeek....at first she said she was mad that I didn't tell her sooner but she understands why I am doing it. It feels like a burden has been lifted off me...hopefully she will keep it quiet

Thanks so much guys! You have really helped me out I am feeling a lot better now. I told my sister today...big leap...eeeek....at first she said she was mad that I didn't tell her sooner but she understands why I am doing it. It feels like a burden has been lifted off me...hopefully she will keep it quiet

My sister was one of the first people I told and she couldn't keep her trap shut! I think it was because she was so happy for me. I was a little annoyed at first because i asked her not to tell anyone But I eventually decided to be open about it anyways and hopefully inspire people in any way I can. Good luck to you!

PLT, I just want to say you are very brave and should be proud of yourself. I do not think surgery is a low like many portray it. It is a high point because you are willing to admit you need help and have not been successful on your own. Some people can make it through alone, and others, like us, cannot. That is nothing to be ashamed of, because the bottom line is we are doing this because we love ourselves and the people around us and want to be around with them for years to come. I didn't want to be under thirty and developing diabetes, and if this will help me prevent that, along with the other increases in health it will give me, then people can disagree with me all day, because I know I did the right thing for my body. I'm really glad your sister took it well =) I hope you are feeling better!

I'm being sleeved Tuesday. What helped me to get over this same feeling is research. The fact is a lot of our weight problems is due to gut hormone levels, which we have ABSOLUTELY NO CONTROL OF!

There are studies where healthy lab rats were divided into 2 groups. Half the rats were given the Ghrelin hormone (produced in the fundus of the stomach) and the rest were not. EVERY rat that was given grehlin gained weight!

Ever wonder why some people can't gain weight? Almost every American makes very poor eating decisions daily. I know skinny people who do not exercise who can eat pizza, burgers, etc EVERY day of the week and not gain weight. Much of this has to do with metabolism, gut hormone levels and other things science has not yet uncovered. So many of our foods (healthy foods) are engineered by man. In many "low fat" foods, the fat has been replaced with carbs and other things. And portion sizes have skyrocketed over the past 50 yrs. Remember when all coke bottles were 10-12 oz's?

I understand the feeling. I have felt the same way. But the fact is everyone's body, mind, etc is different. My parasympathetic nervous system ( the body functions we can't control) tells my heart, lungs, liver, etc. what do. Our metabolisms and hormone levels are controlled this way. This does NOT mean you are a failure. Actually, it means you are intelligent enough to look at facts, realize where you need help, and seek that help to reach your goal.

Reaching out and getting the help you need actually sounds pretty smart to me!

Good Luck!!