So, one of my best friends died yesterday. Because it was a sudden unexplained death, an autopsy will be done. I suspect a stroke.

I'm totally in shock here and not dealing with it well. I need some suggestions for how to deal with this one, especially since I can't turn to my old friend food.

Lissa

I am so sorry for your loss! Can you use exercise? I know alot of people say that is a good stress reliever?

Lissa,

I'm so sorry for your loss. I agree that exercise will help. Especially exercise outdoors, such as walking because you get two good things at once.

Be kind to yourself. You deserve it! For me, that includes making time for myself, making sure I have foods that are good for me that I enjoy, drinking enough fluids every day to keep everything running smoothly, and forgiving myself for not being perfect when I fail .

I also recommend a support group, not only one for WLS surgery, but one for grief too. I went to one when I lost my Dad and it helped.

Please know that I am thinking of you.

Lynda

I am definitely not an expert, but I think one of the most important things is to be able to express your grief, anger, and other associated feelings to someone who is willing to listen. You don't want to keep those feelings bottled up inside, that is unhealthy and it is helpful to talk to someone. Share good memories with others who were close to your friend, that always helps. Most importantly, take care of you and get plenty of rest.

Everyone here has given great advice. I personally had surgery 9/6 and my older Brother passed suddenly on 10/1. I didn't know what to do with myself as I could not turn to my old friend "food". Before surgery, I would have eaten my way thru it and not fully embraced my emotions and grief. I did a lot of "journal writing", lots of praying and lots of exercising. I also read books and talked to my family about my brother. I actually experienced the grief, etc instead of masking it or pushing it down with food the way I always had before.

Good luck. I'll be praying for you. For me, my Brother's death was an eye opener that I had been on the same road as him with my diabetes & high blood pressure and I was so thankful that I had the surgery and have now eliminated those health issues.

Sorry for your loss, Lissa. I would be in shock too. No doubt. All are good ideas. I just want to reiterate what Susan said. Surround yourself with friends and family or call them often if they are not around. This might be a good time to invite them over to your new house.

Lisa I am sorry for your loss. Are you seeing any psychologist ? I think counseling might help in this situation. HUG

I am sorry for your loss Lissa! I agree with the above poster who said that you should not hold in your grief. My Mom died when I was a teenager and I went to a psychologist who told me to cry whenever I needed to, get angry, talk about the loss and about my Mom, etc. It really did help. Nothing will make the pain go away as quickly as we'd like and there will probably be many difficult times, especially through the first year but getting your feelings out might help - it did for me.

Everyone on this site are absolutely !00% correct. I am an expert in this area. This is shocking news and there are 10 stages to the grieving process. This might be a good time to talk with a therapist. This event will bring up alot of unfinished issues pertaining to past losses. You can keep journaling on this site to get some support for you at this time. Hang in there and keep us posted! We all care about you Lissa.

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. I know what you mean about turning to your old friend food for some comfort. I think that many of us got into the shape we are or were in by consoling ourselves with food.

I hope that you can make it through this. I would suggest exercise, talk to others as much as you can and also maybe taking out picture of your friend and remembering the good times that you had together. You can also be assured that she is in a better place and is at peace and not in any pain. Hopefully this will give you some comfort. You may also want to speak to your pastor or a counselor regarding your feelings.

I have faith that you will work through this and again I am so sorry for the loss of your dear friend.

I'm so sorry to hear about your dear friend. The bible has always provided comfort for me in my deepest time of despair. The book of Psalms is awesome. I love Psalm 23 and 91. Hugs!

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10

Thank you all for your support! It's all such a shock right now and it's still sinking in for me.

I am going to the gym in a few minutes to work out, then I will call the family. It's going to be strange not talking to her every day.

I'm going to be pinch hitting for any work she had scheduled this week, so that roll help keep me busy, too.

Lissa

Roll=will

Lissa

Lissa, I"m so sorry for your loss.. I'll definitely be praying for you and your friend's loved ones...