"You're losing too much too fast!"

[LilMissDiva Irene 3,281]

Okay...

I've been dealing with this statement a lot lately. Not from my husband (TG!!) but pretty much everyone else. If it weren't for DH I think I'd have lost it by now. He celebrates all of it with me.

Here's the thing, I really don't think I'm losing all that fast. My weekly average is about 3.7 Lbs per week. I know I calculate it up... LOL This isn't even coming from the folks who DON'T know I've had WLS. Everyone that doesn't know is happy for me... saying I look good, etc.

But everyone that DOES know is asking me trepiditiously... "How are you???" With concern on their face, not joy. "You're losing way too fast, I'm worried about you"... "Try not to lose so fast, you're gonna get sick" or whatever. I know this isn't true! I take my Vitamins and eat super healthy. I'm not going to get sick!

I seriously don't think it's jealousy either. It's true genuine concern.

Anyway, this is kinda a bit of a rant. It's starting to annoy me a little bit. I don't show it because I know they mean well. I just tell them kindly that I'm fine and taking good care of myself. However...

Is anyone else experiencing this? How did you handle it?

[M2G 1,836]

Well, I *wish* I had your problem...lol...just put me on the slow losers bench...all good things in time though, so I'm not really here to moan about that.

As for people's comments, maybe try empathy. Say something like "I do understand your concern, and I appreciate that you care about my well-being. But, I have very strict doctors orders that I am following, as far as nutrition, exercise, Vitamins, and Water, and my surgeon is very happy about my continued healthy loss."

I know that sounds a little formal, but then if they are TRULY worried about you, then you can tell them thanks but back off in a nice sort of way.

[seattle sleeve 1]

just say "my doctor is fine with it and so am I!"

[Jolanda 23]

It's well meant concern - try searching for an old post of Tiffany's called "Do I look sick" or something like that - I tried but couldn't find it. I've had a lot of that and once I started to get close to maintaining my weight I had people say "Please don't get anorexia" a lot. I just ended up telling them that no, I won't, I don't enjoy dieting that much... I never put much effort into telling people I hadn't become anorexic: if I had, that's what I would have told them, anyway.

And needless to say, I didn't get anorexia. I found it helped to explain to people that losing weight fast is so much more rewarding than losing it slowly so I'm going for that as it's easier to do. Mind you, I haven't told people I had the sleeve. Some may have guessed, most people I think not. Only one person has asked and I said no - none of her business, I think.

[LilMissDiva Irene 3,281]

Thanks everyone,

M2 - that's the problem. In my mind I'm not losing too fast at all. I think I'm pretty much losing normally. I know I don't look sick, I think I look better than I did when I ate as much as I wanted...

Seattle, I think I will tell them next time that I'm following my surgeons guidelines, hopefully they will stop with the questions...

Jolanda, see I used to be anorexic. I'm afraid of ever being there again, but I know I can become pretty obsessive with my behaviors. I have to work on not letting that happen. I don't feel like I'm getting there again, however I am enjoying losing at a steady pace. I don't want those comments to ruin that for me though. Like, its making me want to slow it down - but I know I shouldn't at all!

[coops 1,790]

Hey Diva,

I, too, wish that I was losing fast... so try not to worry about it, and if possible enjoy it!!!!

When peeps have asked me how much more weight I want to lose, I have told them the truth... that is when I get the 'OMG, that is way too much' and 'OMG, you;ll be too thing and look awful'! Yea, people are already making judgements on a weight that I haven't even achieved yet!!!

If they are being genunine, then, I feel that is good... just reassure them as the posts above has suggested... but don't stop doing what you are doing...!!

Hugs x

[sleeve 4 me 910]

I too wish I had your problem hahaha! I really just think they are jealous ...true friends Celebrate with you and are happy for you

[sleeve 4 me 910]

P.s. You go girl! We are happy for you and love you

[BlackBerryJuice 349]

Exact opposite problem here, only one of my friends ever comments on how much weight I've lost....considering I'm down from size 16-18 to 8-10, I find it a bit strange. But I noticed people who know about my surgery stealthily checking out my plate at dinners out. It's awkward. I suspect no one will ever say anything unless I get down to a size 0, which I highly doubt would happen.

[sadie_mo 2]

Maybe that's just one more reason this is such a great site. People who have been where you have and those about to start that journey. People just don't get it or understand it so they say things they don't know about. I get ya though girl you can only hear the dame comment so many times before you have had enough .

[juliarh 35]

I'm like BlackBerryJuice -- I've gone from a 24/26 to a size 18 (almost 70 pounds) and NO ONE has noticed (or at least said anything) -- now, I don't want them to "worry" like they are with you, Irene, but a compliment once in a while wouldn't hurt -- oh well.

[LilMissDiva Irene 3,281]

Heya coops!! I haven't gotten the question yet "how much more do you want to lose?" and I imagine I'll get that answer too. This look: It's so annoying! LOL Also, no worries I won't stop what I'm doing. I think the sooner I get to a healthy finish for me, people will eventually forget about this and stop getting those weird looks. Ugh!!!

s4m, Hey girlie! Well if it is jealousy, I just feel like that would be surprising to me. Maybe in one case as I know personally how *hard* it is to lose weight with the band and how much *harder* it is too keep it off... But, I really just don't think it is that. Could be though, I really don't know what's going on in any ones brain... Wish I did so I'd know how to really respond!!!

Someone close to me actually did say they were jealous. It made me feel weird! I told them ya know, I'm (so and so relation) to you... you should not be feeling jealous. You should just be happy for me. I haven't gotten that from that person again, and I hope I never do. I love that person very much and them feeling that towards me is just strange.

Thanks girlie, I love you all too. I want EVERYONE here to be successful. Though sooner or later we ALL will be!!! The sleeve is simply a magical tool, and I see WAY more success stories here than anywhere else!!!

BBJ, I find that VERY odd that only a few friends has commented on your weight loss so far. You have gone down about 4-5 sizes... that's a very noticeable difference! THAT I do chalk up to pure jealousy. There are a few that work closely with me that have not mentioned my losses yet. Though strangers notice? Yeah, I think they are jealous, especially knowing their personality. Silence speaks a thousand words!!!

Hi Sadie, yes it's SO true... you just don't know until you've gone through it. Hugs!! All the best on your upcoming surgery!!

Juliah, hey girlie!! I notice we are about the same as far as weight and size. That's great!! Sometimes I feel so different so it's nice to see that. Again, very strange that you have not received any comments. Well, I think you are doing FAB-U-LOUS!!! Hugs to you.

Thanks ladies, I'm feeling much better. I definitely WON'T let the nay sayers keep me from rocking my sleeve! That's why I got this. If I wanted slow and easy I'd still be battling my band!!! LMAO!! No thank you!!!

Keep up the great work all of you... my butterflies.

[Cinderella 2]

Well, I'm only 4 days out from sugery, and I am definitely losing fast... but that's what I wanted. It is a little disconcerting... I have worked months and MONTHS to loose this much weight, and now it all m elts off in a matter of days. Let's see... on Nov. 30, I weighte in at 200.1, and began my liquid 3-day diet. On surgery day, I weighted 217, so I did lose 3 pounds on that diet. Now, a full 3 days post-opm I just weighted myself, and I am down 10 pounds!!! All of the sudden, I weight 207.4.

It's OK with my doctor, so it's OIK with me, and I have no doubt that this will slow down once I began to eat a little more... but honestly, I am so NOT hungry. Tried to eat my 1/4-cup of tuna salad puree for lunch and could only eat half of it... it was like UGH, this is disgustting. So I went to the store and got some spinach souffles, and frozen mashed butternut squash and stuff that is more appealing.

I also picked up an advocado... I think I coulid mash taht up real good and eat some Ilove advocados.

Funny thing is, I think my tastes may have changed! chocolate is wayyyy to intense for me now, and I crave vanilla instead. That is a shocker!

Anybody else have their entire taste pallate shift after surgery?

Cinderella

[Lila21 36]

I'm a bit late to the party, but I just wanted to pipe in and say you look AH-MAY-ZING! I think there are just different ways that people cope with change. I know that for my part, a friend of mine had the lap land, and when she lost weight really quickly, since I really didn't know anything about it, I was a little worried that she'd get too thin. But, of course, she looks great and is very healthy and fine. I wasn't rude enough to mention it to her, but scared me a bit since I didn't have any education on the subject. Once I saw that she stopped losing at a healthy weight, and looked and felt extremely healthy and happy, I stopped worrying. So, it might just be that people are under-educated like I was. I think people worry anytime they see a big change, so don't take it personally--I think they are just adjusting, and once they feel confident that you are healthy and fine, they will settle in. I think you look just amazing, and I, for one, take a lot of inspiration from how healthy and vibrant you appear!

[Lila21 36]

Well, I'm only 4 days out from sugery, and I am definitely losing fast... but that's what I wanted. It is a little disconcerting... I have worked months and MONTHS to loose this much weight, and now it all m elts off in a matter of days. Let's see... on Nov. 30, I weighte in at 200.1, and began my liquid 3-day diet. On surgery day, I weighted 217, so I did lose 3 pounds on that diet. Now, a full 3 days post-opm I just weighted myself, and I am down 10 pounds!!! All of the sudden, I weight 207.4.

It's OK with my doctor, so it's OIK with me, and I have no doubt that this will slow down once I began to eat a little more... but honestly, I am so NOT hungry. Tried to eat my 1/4-cup of tuna salad puree for lunch and could only eat half of it... it was like UGH, this is disgustting. So I went to the store and got some spinach souffles, and frozen mashed butternut squash and stuff that is more appealing.

I also picked up an advocado... I think I coulid mash taht up real good and eat some Ilove advocados.

Funny thing is, I think my tastes may have changed! chocolate is wayyyy to intense for me now, and I crave vanilla instead. That is a shocker!

Anybody else have their entire taste pallate shift after surgery?

Cinderella

I've heard a lot of people say this. What I wonder is whether your tastes return eventually....