Thanks for all the advice everyone!!

Regarding the oral sex issue... What a man eats and drinks affects the taste of his cum. I just read a big article about this (my DH is always sending me weird stuff) and it said to have your DH drink lots of pineapple juice the day before. Who knows - it couldn't hurt!

Mrs Husker... someone did invent the panties. Slumber has them.

Princess, I think it was the vibrating panties connected to your alarm clock... is what she meant! hee hee

Are you on any kind of birth control? Just curious if there's anything NOT inhibiting your sex drive.

mandi

well, these are some great ideas....i have thought about other methods, but im like argon, the others kinda freak me out, and my cousin had 3 of her 4 kids while on depo. I do want kids, just not in the next 2 or 3 years so getting "fixed" wouldn't be the answer.

I've actually made a big slumber party order with Penni so I'm hoping that in there we can find something. U know the whole massaging and foreplay stuff would be good, except hubby is to tired for all that most of the time, he always says he just wants a "quickie" hence the feeling its a chore.

Welp u guys have been helpful, but I think its really just a matter of us working less and making more time for ourselves. Hopefully we can work that in soon.

Heather,

I was able to read this before the edit.

I felt like IIIIIIIIIIIIII was the one that wrote your post. I feel the same way about EVERYTHING you orginally posted.

FYI: my weightloss HAS helped pick up the sex-drive for me - and should for you too.

You did what I wouldve suggested... visit with Penni and get a/some 'items'.

Oh, and maybe a vitamin/herb (try online) could help raise the libido. ??? Just a thought.

Look out hubby - there's a K@t prowling around! hehe

hehe thanks Paula, I edited because, damn that was some pretty serious stuff, and i feel better have gotten it off my chest, but i felt guilty for posting because i know hubby would HATE and I do mean HATE it if he knew I was posting intimate stuff like that online..so i felt like i shouldnt leave it any longer...

herbs huh......hummmmm good idea...

Kat,

Since I didn't read the exact nature of your problem, but from extrapolation I understand that you have a low sex drive, are on the pill, may not want to be on it, do not want children (right now) and are using condoms. I'll go from there.

Any form of hormone therapy, whether it's for birth control or other reasons, may affect your sex drive. Let's face it, hormones have a lot to do with our sex drive. Hormones have a lot to do with a lot of things, including our weight and can even contribute to depression. I say, if you don't want to be on the darn things get off of them. There are other methods of birth control.

The shot and the patch are also hormone therapy, so they would be out. There are diaphragms, IUD's, foam, jelly and condoms. Rhythm method can be dangerous only because if you're not vigilent, using ovulation predictors, basal thermometers, calendars, Oh God knows what else, you could find yourself with an unplanned pregnancy. It's not that it can't be done, but I personally feel that it takes entirely too much mental energy. If your hubby isn't complaining about the use of condoms, they're pretty effective if used correctly so use them in conjunction with a spermacidal jelly or foam and you've got double the protection and double the lube.

I suppose if there's any more questions or if you're still not sure, you can always talk to your doctor, the one who prescribed the birth control pills in the first place. Let them know how you feel and your goals for the future. They'll usually work with ya.

thanks for the tips, there are a lot of other options, i guess i just feel the safest with the pills....

a friend of mine got one of those new IUD's called Medema (I think) after the birth of her child a year and a half ago. She chose that because the husband was too lazy to use condoms and she didn't want to use anything like the pill or shot because she was breast feeding so after a lot of convincing herself she went and got it and says it's the best birthcontrol method she's ever used and would recommend it to all women. It can stay in for 5 years.

she said it was done on an in office visit and the discomfort was no worse then having a papsmear.

I have an IUD put in a year ago....not the new kind that has hormones and the "T", but the old kind with just the "T". My sex life improved 100 fold, my husband was the one saying "I have a headache" ! It has been great for me!

K@t, sorry, I hope you don't mind me hijacking your thread, now that you took down your original post!

NJGirl: that's the 'copper' one that you have then? Josette, the one you're talking about is called Mirena. It has hormones... so maybe if trying to go hormone-free (for sex drive purposes) the 'old' one would be better?

I wonder if they generally do IUDs for people who've not had kids yet. In lots of the stuff I've read about IUDs, they always say "best for someone who's had at least 1 child." I think I saw that that is because maybe people who've given birth have a stronger cervix to 'hold it in', and less risk of it slipping out? I dunno, but I think I'm going to consider it and maybe ask next time I have my fun pap smear.

I thought it was scary, til this thread got me thinking about it again, and actually looking it up. I thought it was BIG, and that they put it in with the "T" arms extended (for some stupid reason)... but from what I read, it sounds like it's about the size of a quarter.

So, thanks guys, for opening me up to the possibility!

Mandi

I was on depo for a long time, and when I wanted to get off of it I asked my dr. about having an IUD, even though I haven't had any kids. She said that the gyno would do it if I asked, but it's not generally recommended, because it can cause some scaring on the cervix, which can make child birth more difficult (but perhaps not if you've already had a kid?).

Argon: I have a Paraguard. It has been great for me and was told that if I ever consider having another child they can remove it and I would be able to conceive.

I had one girlfriend who had a really hard time with the Paraguard though! I also tried the patch, but my hair started falling out.

I had this problem for years.. I did not do well with any hormonal BC. I would get migraines, hurl every morning, have panic attacks,,, it was horriable, after much goings arounds I decided to go with an IUD, yes they still do them and No you dont have to have already had children.. (they sugest it but its not mandtory)

I have had no children and I am on my 2nd Iud for the last 7 years. I love it, I dont feel weird, my periods are a murder scene but I can deal with that and actully even that part has gotten better in the past 5 months. Never have to remember the pill exc.. I would talk to your doc and see how he/she feels about it.