Hey Guys,

I am sorry to repeat what I know others have said many times, but I just have to vent somehow.

I start my pre-op diet tomorrow, due in on 9th Sept. And I am really really afraid.

The problem is I'm not really sure what I'm afraid of.... one minute I think I am afraid of going under anaesthetic, then a couple of days later I am freaking out about the flight over to Southampton. Just when I've convinced myself that the flight is going to be fine, I start fearing complications. Then I get scared of never being able to comfort eat ever again. But I got over that....

NOW I am scared that for some reason I will regret my decision. That for some reason I am going to have to admit that I was weak and should have just done this the "proper way" by exercising more and getting further therapy for my eating problem. That I am going to have to face "I told you so's" from those who haven't supported my decision.

Right now I honestly wish I could look into the future and make sure that I'm doing the right thing.

I know that no-one can tell me what is right for me. I also know that you all have your own fears and concerns and probably don't want me adding mine to the table.

But I also know that some of you have been through this and now have no regrets. I honestly hope I can be strong and become one of you.

Thanks for listening.

Lyndsey xxx

NOW I am scared that for some reason I will regret my decision. That for some reason I am going to have to admit that I was weak and should have just done this the "proper way" by exercising more and getting further therapy for my eating problem. That I am going to have to face "I told you so's" from those who haven't supported my decision.

I think you should limit the number of people who you tell about the surgery if you are concerned about the "I told you so's." I wasn't going to tell my parents until after, but then I felt like a bad daughter for keeping secrets from them and told them the day before I headed to Mexicali...the end result was that they drove me to tears, made me incredibly stressed, and prevented me from getting sleep the night before I flew out (my mother actually called me at 2:30 am to say I'd get stomach cancer!), which made for a miserable first day in Mexicali. I absolutely regret telling my parents about it, so I say, don't tell too many people before you go. Tell 2 or 3 people in case something happens, so that people can fly out to be with you, take care of your affairs while you are in the hospital, etc, but that's it.

Regarding doing it all on your own....I lost 50 lbs last year the old-fashioned way (i.e. hungry, stressed out, and exhausted all the time and sacrificing time with friends for the stupid gym). Mind you, I was still a good 20-30 lbs overweight after losing all that weight, but maintaining it required me to starve and exercise like a maniac. Then I learned more about obesity in medical school and started fearing for my ability to keep the weight off. The physician who lectured us is a local obesity expert (non-surgeon) who's a huge advocate for the obese and a big supporter of the surgical approach to weightloss. He flat out told us "If any of you have lost a significant amount of weight recently and manage to keep it off for the next 5 years, please e-mail me, as you are one of a kind and I would love to meet you in my office." After the stats he gave us (only 2% of obese people who try to lose weight the old-fashioned way succeed over the course of 5 years) and the information about the physiology of obesity (e.g. significantly higher ghrelin production, leptin mobilization, etc), the whole obesity surgery thing started to make sense for me and I felt like I could comfortably suggest it to my future patients who struggle with obesity.

Of course, 6 months later I had put almost all of those 50 lbs back on, just as the doctor predicted, and if I hadn't had the surgery, I'm sure I would've gained an extra 10. So armed with a decade and a half of experience battling my weight, I had no qualms about exploring surgical options to deal with my problems. Of course, I am seeing a counselor to prevent emotional eating, as well, but I really feel like dealing with the physiological issues behind my eating first was the right step to take.

The sleeve is a wonderful tool and I have no regets, even tho the weight loss has slowed down. I've lost the cravings with the grehlin. It's normal to be terrified, you'll do great and you can ocassionally have comfort food,just not alot of it, your tummy won't let you volume eat. Good luck!

I have concerns as well as I start preparations to leave out on Thursday for surgery on Friday.

I'm VERY comfortable with my surgeon (Dr. Aceves) and more concerned about how well I will do. Don't get me wrong, I am FULLY prepared to "work my sleeve" and do what I need to do, but I was also FULLY prepared when I did Weight Watchers, Adkins, South Beach.....you name it!! And none of it worked properly/permanently.

I'm very well aware of the fact that when I see the newest weight loss trick on a commercial and it says in tiny print (thank goodness my TV is 61 inches! LOL) "results not typical", underneath the big, bold, neon lettering that says "Susie lost 140lbs using _______!!" that those words are put there specifically for me, Krista. Yep - I'm exactly who they had in mind when they added that little asterisk and disclaimer.

So sometimes I wonder......why will this be any different?

Then I try to remember that I have done my research until I'm blue in the face and that diet after diet, I have gotten smarter about what "works" and what doesn't and have faith that this is the end of all those things that doesn't work!

I think you should limit the number of people who you tell about the surgery if you are concerned about the "I told you so's." I wasn't going to tell my parents until after, but then I felt like a bad daughter for keeping secrets from them and told them the day before I headed to Mexicali...the end result was that they drove me to tears, made me incredibly stressed, and prevented me from getting sleep the night before I flew out (my mother actually called me at 2:30 am to say I'd get stomach cancer!), which made for a miserable first day in Mexicali. I absolutely regret telling my parents about it, so I say, don't tell too many people before you go. Tell 2 or 3 people in case something happens, so that people can fly out to be with you, take care of your affairs while you are in the hospital, etc, but that's it.

Sorry for the quick hijack, OP....

Blackberry - I know that you used Dr. Aceves....I was wondering why in your post where you say "Mexicali", it makes a link and when you scroll over it, it says the Jerusalem clinic? Isn't that another physician and a whole different city?!?!?

Have you noticed that before?

Sorry for the quick hijack, OP....

Blackberry - I know that you used Dr. Aceves....I was wondering why in your post where you say "Mexicali", it makes a link and when you scroll over it, it says the Jerusalem clinic? Isn't that another physician and a whole different city?!?!?

Have you noticed that before?

Hm, this is a very interesting observation! I wouldn't touch the Jerusalem clinic with a 10-ft pole, so I'm pretty irked that my post is being used to advertise someone who I believe is a danger to gullible patients.:mad0:

They probably pay to have that word associated with them, basically advertising on this board. I find alot of words in posts do this type of thing here.

The sleeve is a wonderful tool and I have no regets, even tho the weight loss has slowed down. I've lost the cravings with the grehlin. It's normal to be terrified, you'll do great and you can ocassionally have comfort food,just not alot of it, your tummy won't let you volume eat. Good luck!

Thanks for your post, I needed to read this seriously LOL!

I think you should limit the number of people who you tell about the surgery if you are concerned about the "I told you so's." .

Hi BlackBerry,

I agree with what you put above. I had been very good up til now and only told those people very close to me. Yesterday I made a stupid mistake and told someone who tried to talk me out of it, and I really don't have the energy for that BS just now. I learnt my lesson! Mouth shut from now on!

So armed with a decade and a half of experience battling my weight, I had no qualms about exploring surgical options to deal with my problems." .

I too have already tried the "proper way" many many times, and gained back all the weight I lost and more. I know that I can't lose weight and keep it off by myself. But a part of me is angry that I'm so useless, and I feel that I SHOULD be able to.

I just don't want any regrets. I have too many already.

Krista, best of luck to you. Seems we are in a similar mindset at the moment. I hope it all works out for us both.

CWalker, thanks. That is good to hear. I hope your loss continues and your stall is a short one

Hi Lyndsey,

I can relate to how you feel, I felt the same when was due to fly to Brno in the Czech Republic for my sleeve. All worked out really well and I am sure they will look after you like a queen at Southampton hospital. It's not so far from home and getting this done will enable you to retake control of your life. I firmly believe that us fatties have a wrong setting that makes us perfect for stone age hand to mouth existance but prone to weight gain in the 21st century. As we are unlikely to experience stone age conditions (hopefully) getting the offending part of the stomach snipped off seems logical to me. I have been amazed at how much this operation changed my food mindset, I don't like sweet things any more and I am pretty indifferent to most food except when I feel real hunger. Like a normal person eh? No wonder they can stay slim, it's completely easy when you don't want to eat, no great moral high ground really. So bottom line stop feeling down about yourself, we are all on your side here. And let us know how you get on. And post if you need to chat or PM me.

Jane x

Thank you Jane, you are such an inspiration and always have such warmth in your posts.

It is nice having someone in the UK around too, stops me feeling so isolated here in lil old Guernsey!

On another topic, this pre-op diet is TOUGH! I have been starving hungry all day, and can't handle the thought of another two weeks to go like this.

This too shall pass :confused1:

I can relate to all of this as well, thank God my dad was the one who told me about the sleeve, so him and my mum were a great support, as well as muy husband (and they are surgeons as well so they actually read a lot about the sleeve) I only told my 2 best friends here in the UK, and they didn't try to talk me out of it, they knew I would still go ahead with it! I too tried doing it the proper way about a thousand times, only to loose weight and then when the diet finished put on more and more. I even had the gastric balloon in a few years ago, I lost quite a bit but as usual put it all back on and some more! I'm glad I did this, even though I know that there are a few issues I have to address (snacking), but I'm happy with what I've lost so far. Good luck to you all!

Thanks Chilo. You're doing great!!! Keep it up!

I'm among the few who had very few fears about the surgery. Probably because I yo-yo dieted for FORTY YEARS and knew, deep down in my heart and soul and down to my toes, that I would never, ever, ever in a million years be able to diet down to my desired weight and stay there. Never, ever, ever. I had lost significant amounts of weight in the past by literally making a career out of it -- working out for an hour or more every day, spending hours planning and preparing and logging my meals, passing up social events so I wouldn't be tempted to overeat, and so on. Oh, and I'd been in therapy for three years, too. (During which time I lost 20 pounds and regained 30!) But the weight always came back, plus some, whenever I let up even a little. And I just. plain. wasn't. willing. to. do. that. any. more. I knew that for me it was either resigning myself to being overweight, or getting the surgery.

I'm five months out now and I love my sleeve and my new life. I know for a fact that I WILL lose all the weight I want to lose, and more important, that I will be able to keep it off. My compulsive eating urges and behaviors are 98% gone, and it feels incredible to be a light eater and to be satisfied with tiny portions.

It's normal to be apprehensive, but the upside is SO worth it! Good luck to you!!

I was looking at the thread after this one and any mention of Mexico is underlined in blue and when you scroll over it, it's Jerusalem Clinic.

That's just wrong!

Patti

Here are my thoughts on surgery.. I just posted this in response to someone who is struggling after surgery..maybe you'll find it helpful?

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Yes, we are all pulling for you! You are going to be so happy in relatively short amount of time.. and you'll be set to be thinner and healther for life!

I have no doubt that I am going to through depression (probably even in Pre-Op) just because I feel deprived when I can't have what I want. However, my thoughts are going to try to be I just have to get through a about 3-4 weeks, then it will get better and eventually, I'll have what I want:slimmer body, more energy, etc. I can only imagine that is very hard to get your head around the smaller portions. However, I try to remember that everyone always has to stop eating at some point: 2 Cookies or 8 cookies, or a whole box. I am not a whole box person, but eat a little too much of everything (of course, otherwise I wouldn't be here). Everyone has to decide if they can do a life of salads and 1-2hr workout a day (I can't, my sisters do, and still aren't thin.) or do whatever to have the discpline to loose and keep the weight off. I am choosing surgery because I am so tired of having so many clothes in different sizes, and being envious of skinny people and not wanting to travel or go on trips with people because I am fat.

I have to burn 192,500 calories to equal the 55 pounds I want to loose. Assuming I could "walk it off"-it would take about 1925 trips to the gym. And that is assuming I don't eat an extra cookie or calories to add on that 100 calories burned at the gym. Some may question my math here, but whether you burn 100-400 calories, in this day and age, with all the good, fatting food, it is hard to stay a low calorie diet, and hard to create the deficit long term..at least for me.

Maybe back in the day, when food was scarce, my appetite, low metabolism would be ideal, but this day and age--I feel at a disadvantage. Sure a pill would be nice, but the body always finds a way around it, due to natural instincts. There are always side effects too. To me, this sound like the best way to help. Small portions so you don't starve and moderation with foods you like. Don't get me wrong, it isn't a free ride. There is still work and it won't be easy. But I've got to believe it will get easier!

I am looking forward to the day when I go to the gym to be "healthy" and not doing it to be punished and burn calories as the main focus.

Just think what a powerful tool you have! You'll be able to have the best of both worlds once healed!

You all can remind me my little speech here in a few weeks, because I'll probably be saying "what I have done!" too! But at this point, I am excited and looking forward to a new, thinner life and a more level playing field.

Also, I just got in "Shrink Yourself" by Roger Gould regarding emotional eatting, because I know it will be weird to eat such a small amount. I am not one of those persons who eats out of saddness, etc, but food is always on mind and I know that learning to focus on other things in life would be helpful. I also feel like it is 'unfair' when I can't eat what I want. I am alway thinking about the next meal, so I hope that I can find an easier way focus on other things. My Dr. recommended this book.

So..to wrap up..just try to get past the next few weeks, knowing you'll have a better life, thinner and happier.. maybe focus on the others who have been successful and soon you'll be one of them!