I am three months out. Part of me feels like this has been my life forever, and part of me still feels like it is brand new. Having seriously unhealthy habits has been a process of learning, but things I never thought I could do mentally and physically are becoming easier day by day.

In three months I have reclaimed parts of my life and that is thrilling to me. Two weeks ago I had a last minute chance to head to California w/my boyfriend and his family. My time there was not food focused, I enjoyed what I ate and even more so enjoyed walking (what?) I enjoyed a day of walking around Universal Studios and mid way realized I wasn't sweaty and feeling icky, and my feet didn't hurt. And not once did I feel like I might go flying off of a ride because I was just too big to actually safely fit on it.

I am energetic. I took my dog up by the river and walked for a long time and enjoyed it. I took pride in knowing that I was doing something that benefitted both of us. That I kept my body moving, that I had that time alone to have a clear mind and I wasn't focused on how hard I was breathing or about the whopper and diet coke I would be buying on my way home.

I have realized that to be successful I have to plan. This has never been my strong suit, but for this to work for ME I must do it. I spend time each night before I go to bed entering my game plan for the following day. Maybe I have refocused my obsession in another direction, but having that plan is empowering.

A few years ago a friend and I spent a weekend planning what our diet would look like when we started it on Monday. We made charts, planned an elaborate rewards system and vowed to check in with each other every day. As we planned it, I knew I would fail. I knew this would be pointless. And it was. I have countless stories like these, and each time this would happen it was a blow to my self esteem. Not because I couldn't lose the weight, but I couldn't trust myself to do what I vowed to do. I now understand that it required more then what I could do on my own. I wake up every day knowing that I am in control. I am in control.

This is really still just the beginning of my journey, and I expect this will be a lifelong struggle for me. I still want a diet coke EVERYDAY, and that is something that for me is taboo. Not just because I have fears about it altering my new expensive stomach, but because for me it is the start of a slippery slope and it isn't worth it. I have occasional, very small, treats. I try to plan ahead for these, mostly because if I plan then there isn't that emotional panic of, "Oh my what have I done????" But there are days when I would just like a big ol burger instead of three bites of someone else's. But all I have to do is compare the passport photo I had taken just prior to surgery, to the photos from now, I have a much smaller face and a much bigger smile and that makes everything worth it.

What a great post Anna. You are doing so well ... very proud of you. Thanks for your enthusiasm and sweet spirit - they are contagious!

Cheers to you! May this continue to be a wonderful journey for you.

I love your posts, and your determination. You've done fabulous, and you will continue to find victories with this new lifestyle. You're inspirational, and I hope you know that you touch a lot of people's lives.

What a great post! I understand the failure fears....it was like I was writing that! Even what you said about walking your dog and feeling good because you were doing something good for both of you!

I just want to say "thank you" for participating here on the forum. I appreciate your input!

Anna,

Thanks so much for taking the time to share that post with us. You are an inspiration to those of us who are pre-op.

As great as you feel now, just think how much different your life will be a year from now! Wow, that's something to dream about! The great thing is YOU already know that dreams really do come true.

Great post! I needed that.

That was so well written! You're a very good writer. I really identify with so many of your feelings. I think you are doing wonderfully at 3 months out, developing new good habits. I think the ability to be more active, and ENJOY being more active, is possibly the most exciting thing about all of this. I am really enjoying being active too and it just feels so wonderful. Keep the posts coming, they are great!!

Posts like that give us all hope. Thanks for that. You have such a positive outlook and just sound so happy. I am very happy for you. Your continued success is already written in the stars. Best of luck to you.

i totally agree with you!!! everything has been worth it, it has been difficult and it still is, but everytime i read stories like yours, it keeps me motivated and gives me strength to continue. thanks and congrats!!!

I am just starting on this journey as I have my initial appointment with doctor on Wednesday. My BMI is about what yours was when you started and I look at you and how awesome you are doing and think....this could be me!! Yes, you are truly inspiring!!

Renee

Thanks all of you for your positive responses. And to those of you who are preop I have no doubt this is something you can do!

Anna

Way to go anna

Anna, great post. I'm almost 4 mos out and love the way I feel. I love walking and my thighs don't rub, my knees don't hurt as bad (arthritis is still with me) and I'm not looking for the next place I can sit and rest. Sleeve life is good.

Anna, you are doing sooo well! I really related to your diet failure story! What a frustrating way that was to live. This sleeve is like a dream, it really does make you feel powerful! Great post.