So I decided to surprise my bf with a san francisco trip this weekend. So the drive was uncomfortable for me and there was nothing good on the road to eat that didnt make me feel like I was having a dumping moment. We get here and normally we would order room service and then go out and explore etc. So we get here he orders with out telling me, and i get out of the shower to chocolate Cookies and sweet potato fries. This starts a huge arguement, so i have a few fries and feel ok and he is like why arent you eating more.... at which point i freaking lose it, screaming in this suite that is bigger then our apt.

So i have a few more and then start to feel ill, mainly i know I was feeling crummy from the drive as my big inscision is still tender two weeks out. SO i am laying down feeling sick and he comes in and is like this is not how i envisioned this weekend..I AM LIKE NO SHIT, sorry I dont mean to curse. So we had plans to go to a comedy club tonight and I nixed it for tomrrow. Anyways he is like ok lets eat dinner now and I aam just annoyed because I guess I needed to plan ahead. GRRRRRRRRRRRRR. ok sorry to vent I just know you would understand group

Good for you girl, way to be PROUD and STRONG!!!

phat, that is courageous and wonderful. i wish you luck and soon you will reclaim your independence and joy.

Thank you all for your blunt and sometimes harsh comments. I completely understand that at some point you can not blame the other person you have to blame yourself for staying with them. He and I completely had it out and I said things that need to be said for four years. The main theme was that he is UNHAPPY and his only happiness comes from dragging other people ME, his family etc down into the dumps. We fought for hours and he kept denying and twisting it on me. So yesterday I rented my own apt in secret and started slowly moving things over. I can only do so much because of my doctors Stupid TEN pound or less rule. But With in the next couple of weeks more stuff is going to start disappearing. Geez i have a ton of crap. Anyways He is 43 and i am 34 come this thurs. By now he is who he is and there will be no changing him or his attitude. I really feel sorry for him because I know as a person he is miserable and before I met him I was SUPER happy all the time and I know that he hasnt felt that in years.

Anyways thanks for your coments. I am sure until I am fully out I will have more crap to talk about but hopefully that wont be to much longer.

xoxox

You will look back on this decision one day and wonder why you did not do it earlier. I had a b/f like yours called Steve when I was in my early 20s and I wasted 18 months of my precious life on that loser. I know you can get back to being the SUPER happy girl you were once before and also you will be a SUPER skinny one too!

Well done you :thumbup:

I am so elated for you. I know that sounds horrible, but I have been where you are, believe me, you are doing the right thing.

I'm proud of you for having the courage to make those first steps. You'll do great, and keep us updated. I know it's tough, but you deserve the very best. Never settle for anything less than everything ! ! !

Hooray! I know it's scary to think of being out there on your own, but I have been where you are and it was the BEST feeling in the world to be out from under the burden of that man's control! I felt a thousand pounds lighter! You are going to feel amazing and LOOK amazing! How great is that?

PhatCurves Gemini: Happy Birthday for this Thursday (my daughter's bday too)....you are on the right road....little by little you will get there....no one is as harsh to you as you have been on yourself. This year coming up for you is going to be wonderful on many different levels. All the best.

Stella

Thank you all for your blunt and sometimes harsh comments. I completely understand that at some point you can not blame the other person you have to blame yourself for staying with them. He and I completely had it out and I said things that need to be said for four years. The main theme was that he is UNHAPPY and his only happiness comes from dragging other people ME, his family etc down into the dumps. We fought for hours and he kept denying and twisting it on me. So yesterday I rented my own apt in secret and started slowly moving things over. I can only do so much because of my doctors Stupid TEN pound or less rule. But With in the next couple of weeks more stuff is going to start disappearing. Geez i have a ton of crap. Anyways He is 43 and i am 34 come this thurs. By now he is who he is and there will be no changing him or his attitude. I really feel sorry for him because I know as a person he is miserable and before I met him I was SUPER happy all the time and I know that he hasnt felt that in years.

Anyways thanks for your coments. I am sure until I am fully out I will have more crap to talk about but hopefully that wont be to much longer.

xoxox

Darn, I wish you lived near me! I would come help you move out!!!! I think you've made a good decision.

It is a wonderful thing to surround yourself with happy, supportive people.

I know where you are. I was there a couple years ago and I never felt so happy in my life when I started out single. You don't have to clean up after anyone but yourself, you can do whatever you want when you want, and you start to gain control over everything in your life. It's so liberating that my coworkers thought I went into a "manic" episode for a few months, I was THAT happy. O_o;;

Phatcurves, congrats for deciding that you're removing yourself from that relationship. It will be uncomfortable but all of us on this website have decided that they want change in their life and more importantly, are taking action to produce that change. Your transformation will be like a butterfly emerging from a cocoon and that time alone during this transformation will allow you to enjoy it on an extremely personal level and not have to deal with outside drama as well as our "inside drama". I know you will find the new you and the new strength you never knew you had which will make you irresistable to your next love. Good luck each step of the way.

B

Edited June 9, 201016 yr by Betterbytheday

Thank you all and I know that I am making a wise decision. I got into a huge fight with him last night over the dumbest thing and I packed a small bag laptop included (my wifi reached the other apartment ironicly) and left. SO he didnt even text me or call, wow he cares. LOL but i knew that already. So I have just bought a couch and recliner and a small bed although the one in the main apt is mine. I hid my car so he wouldnt see it and I slept there. I missed the cats so freaking bad but waking up in my other apt was so nice. I have to admit I was lonely and a little scared. So when I got up i knew he was at work I went to the other apt and got in MY big bed with my four cats who all cuddled with me for a blissfully long nap.

Its looking good so far. Today i transfered my 10x10 storage unit into a 10x20 with help since i cant lift anything heavier then 10lbs. TOTAL JOKE. and now i have plenty of room if i want to clean out some of the clutter along with the baggage that is HIM.

TOMORROW is one month and I cant even believe how quick it went.

xoxox

Hi Phatcurves, you might need to check your rental agreement on the old apartment and terminate your liability. I had a similar problem with a joint owned house with my horrible b/f years ago. You don't want to have unforseen bill in the future as from what I can see he will be very capable of dropping you in the financial poo.

I had to leave my cats behind too so I know how you feel. Everything we got together was only got on the understanding that they were his. I did have 40% of house though which caused problems a year later when he wanted to sell. I wish I had made it more difficult for him, if it happened now I would have got a no win no fee ambulance chasing lawyer firm on my side just to give him maximum pain hehehe.

But for now just do what is best for yourself. And remember that possessions are just stuff and happiness is more important, be your own proud person.