Hi,

My first day at this site but I think it's going to be a God Send. have looked through a bunch of posts and now have a unique question and would love your thoughts and opinions.:thumbup: My husband and I are BOTH going to have the sleeve surgery and we're trying to decide if it makes sense for us to do the surgery together (at the same time and recover at the same time) or one of us to have the surgery and recover and then the other one. There are good reasons for both options, but I'm wondering what the "real" issues are post surgery. I'm thinking it would be easiest to do it together -- then we're both on the same diets at the same time. Would love to hear from ya'll.

Thanks

I had a similar situation. Will you be doing the surgery in the United States or in Mexico or some other location? Will you have anyone there to help you the first couple days home from the hospital? I had my VSG on 12-22, and my mom had hers 12-28, and it got a little bit stressful, even with my dad and fiance there to help us out. If you have someone to drive you to appointments/ run to the store for broth/juice I think it is definitely doable, though we did find that two people who normally get along great can be tried during the stress of recovery and not feeling 100%

If I would have had the opportunity to have a buddy, especially a buddy under the same roof, I would have taken it.

I was completely alone, literally, husband in Afghanistan, son in Texas, only one "friend" (she turned out to be the real psycho), during my recovery. I had a home health care nurse every other day come in and check on me and change some bandages. My recovery was not typical due to it being a revision and complications.

I think it would be awesome to have a person to walk every day in the same shoes. But, I would also wonder if it could turn competitive or if y'all could just feed off each other's positive energy, and be each other's biggest cheerleader.

I'm super competitive, and I would have to keep that part of me in check. If you do not have small children (like infant/toddlers), or if you have a relative/friend that stay with y'all, or at least help with any children, then I would do it at the same time.

Also, make sure you prepare for the major hormone flux. I swear I was a total PMS ridden, emotional, and almost damn near homicidal during my recovery. Heck, I still have crazy hormones going on some weeks. So, make sure you hide the sharp knives, and rope for a few weeks. Just kidding:biggrinjester: about the knives and ropes, but in all seriousness, the mood swings are kind of crazy.

I would make my husband go first and take care of him carefully and then let him do the same for me. I would do it with a girlfriend at same time, but not my husband. But that is just me.

Everyone is so different. Have you ever had any surgeries before? Or your husband? I had a breast lift and tummy tuck at the same time a couple of years ago - in a local clinic/day surgery center and was home by noon the same day. I definitely needed help for the first day or two but by day three, everyone was back to school and work and I was just fine.

I had this surgery in Tijuana, traveled by myself and had no problems at all. I stayed one night in the clinic and two nights at the recovery house. Flying home was much easier than I expected. I had surgery on a Thursday and went back to work on Monday. I was tired for the first week but not in pain.

Personally, I would do it at the same time or I would go first! Some men (ok, mine) tend to be big babies when it comes to procedures. I think he would make me think the surgery was harder than it really was if he went first. I had a vag hysterectomy back in 2001 and was taking care of him less than a week later cause he had a little cyst removed from his shoulder during a day surgery. Sheesh. lol

I would also prefer to be home alone so I can sleep, watch tv or whatever I want. If someone is here taking care of me, then I feel like I have to entertain or talk to them : )

Everyone is so different. Have you ever had any surgeries before? Or your husband? I had a breast lift and tummy tuck at the same time a couple of years ago - in a local clinic/day surgery center and was home by noon the same day. I definitely needed help for the first day or two but by day three, everyone was back to school and work and I was just fine.

I had this surgery in Tijuana, traveled by myself and had no problems at all. I stayed one night in the clinic and two nights at the recovery house. Flying home was much easier than I expected. I had surgery on a Thursday and went back to work on Monday. I was tired for the first week but not in pain.

Personally, I would do it at the same time or I would go first! Some men (ok, mine) tend to be big babies when it comes to procedures. I think he would make me think the surgery was harder than it really was if he went first. I had a vag hysterectomy back in 2001 and was taking care of him less than a week later cause he had a little cyst removed from his shoulder during a day surgery. Sheesh. lol

I would also prefer to be home alone so I can sleep, watch tv or whatever I want. If someone is here taking care of me, then I feel like I have to entertain or talk to them : )

OMG you made some amazing points. I know that when I had my gb out in February, I was so ready for my husband to go back to work. He was the food/incision/movement police for 4 days. I was ready to slice his throat ! ! !

And, I so agree with you about some men being totally babies when it comes to ailments/surgeries. Heaven forbid John get a chest cold. You would think the apocalypse was coming, and he was counting down his days.

Fabulous post ! ! !

Funny! I was afraid someone (ok, one of the guys on the board) would lecture me about my sexist comment : )

You would think these tough military guys could handle anything. My 22yr old son is just finishing pilot school at Ft Rucker and has done one tour overseas ... yet if he has a cold, he is miserable. He has a wife now tho so she can deal with him! : )

Funny! I was afraid someone (ok, one of the guys on the board) would lecture me about my sexist comment : )

You would think these tough military guys could handle anything. My 22yr old son is just finishing pilot school at Ft Rucker and has done one tour overseas ... yet if he has a cold, he is miserable. He has a wife now tho so she can deal with him! : )

Ha ha ha, it's even worse, my husband is "billy bad ass" cop in the AF LOL done 4 tours overseas, seen/heard things that I can not even begin to fathom, but heaven forbid he get a splinter.

No offense intended, I promise to any of the male members. My husband was/is a momma's boy, and I've tried my best to make sure I nurture my son enough, but not too much to where he can't take care of himself without a woman in his life. Seriously, 4 days after GB surgery (I was restricted to no driving for 2 weeks), I had to get dress, and drive to Wal-Mart (1/2 mile) because John caught a chest cold from the kiddo, and he didn't know what to buy for himself, and I didn't have anythng in the house he could take to help his symptoms.

I don't mind taking care of him, but I can't handle the "woe is me, I'm dying" stuff.

I would definitely do it at the same time if it was me - it would be fun to walk the weight loss road together - and being on the same diet at the same time would be nice.

My only suggestion would be to have a third person available to come during the day for a couple days to baby you.

My doctor has a support group that meets once a month. This month there was a husband and wife there who had it done 1 day apart. They are doing great. I guess it just depends how pitiful he is

One word of caution, though. Men generally loose weight much faster than women so don't let it get to you!

One word of caution, though. Men generally loose weight much faster than women so don't let it get to you!

Geez, ain't that the truth! My husband decided he wanted to lose 15 pounds. He quit having a drink at night, cut back a little on his calories and increased his swimming during the week. I am darn glad I had this surgery or he would have been within 10 pounds of me! LOL

My husband and I both had VSG 4 days apart in Febuary. I went first, and did great. Was back to work by day 6. My husband did things a little slower. Was off work 2 weeks. Sure makes it easier to think about meals.

It is just the two of us. We are now progressing to more normal foods, so I can cook and pack leftovers for lunches. Our grocery bill has gone down significantly. It is the best thing we have ever done for ourselves. I would highly recommend doing it together, talk with your surgeon and work out the details with the help you have available.

I would definitely do it at the same time if it was me - it would be fun to walk the weight loss road together - and being on the same diet at the same time would be nice.

My only suggestion would be to have a third person available to come during the day for a couple days to baby you.

Me too!!!

Do it together!!

It will be way m ore fun!!!:thumbup1:

thanks so much for your thoughts. after reading many of the posts on the various forums, I feel a lot better about the whole process. My husband and I are older and just ourselves at home, he's retired and I work from home several days a week so we don't have kids to worry about taking care of. Figure we'll shop and stock up ahead of time and have family and friends to drop in when we need help for a few days. This is sounding better.

Hello,

I'm a little older. I'm 59 and had my surgery last month. I'd vote to do it together. I was in hospital for one night (Wednesday), one night home alone, then my 36 year old son flew in from NY to spend the weekend with me on Friday. It was great to have a little distraction. He virtually never left the house except to go for walks with me or down to the gym. Being on Clear liquids for 5 days, the full liquids for 10 days there was very little to buy in order to be prepared. My son left on Tuesday morning and I was back to work from my home desk. I worked 1/2 to 3/4 of the day the first week, then went back into my office full time after that. We all heal differently but this wasn't too much more difficult than my gallbladder coming out last November. Learning how to eat again with our new Sleeve is the trickiest part.

I think it would be so much fun to have a partner to do it with. Walking together, preparing food together etc. I really didn't need any help and would have been fine even if my son hadn't come home. He was more of just a distraction and to keep me from getting bored.