I have only told a few of my friends about my LB and the ones that don't know are telling me how proud they are of me and that I've inspired them. This makes me feel like a fraud for some reason. Like I'm deliberately deceiving them. My husband says I'm doing all the work. And I do believe this to be true because I have no fill yet and am relying on pretty much my will power to lose weight at this point. And I gave up beer which I though I would NEVER do so I'm attributing a lot of that factor to weight loss as well.

Sounds like I'm trying to convince myself.

Have any of you felt this way? I'm not sure if and when I will tell people because I don't want to be judged for making this decision. Like I took the easy way out even though this has not been easy.

well we women can always dig something up to feel guilty about! Seriously, you are eating less and moving more and the rest is personal medical information...I just watched the Star Jones interview and it made me sad that she was so viciously attacked for not telling about her WLS! She was very vulnerable and just trying to protect and take care of herself! Its a great interview I recommend it...I really never told anyone but huz and daughter and I am glad for it...

I know where you are coming from. I havent told alot of people either, how ever when they compliment me i just try to say thank you but then they go on with how are you doing it and so on. I dont want to tell them about my WLS so i have been saying "watching what I eat" which is the truth technically right?

but yes i do feel like i am telling a white lie.

I absolutely feel this way! But like you, I feel that it is mostly me at this point. I count my calories and make better choices. But that doesn't help the guilt. It is what it is.

If you're serving as an inspiration for others to improve their health and their life - I say be proud of it, and encourage and support others any way you can. If you can help others, that's a big NSV in my book. If they're successful, I guarantee you they won't care how you did it. If they're not successful, then maybe you would consider letting a few extra people in on your secret, and can inspire them to take the next step - but that's totally up to you!

I don't feel like a fraud because while my band helps with portion size it does not restrict the type of food I choose. That is all me. I am working harder than I have ever worked in my life and I am going to take all the accolades that come with it! I also tell everyone that asks about my weight loss about my built in willpower (my band) It helps me be more accountable and I try to educate them on wls. You are doing awesome! Enjoy it because YOU earned it!

I

I do, I feel I shouldn't have needed band, I could have lost it on my own, but like dr said Ive lostit before but unable to keep it off. I went to seminar and there were people so much larger than me, and Im sure they were saying the same thing. but so far Ive been able to keep 33 lbs off, I think I did expect things to be easy as it has been for some, but in reality, theres gonna be struggles.

my virtual hug for the day was:

You stay with it honey, keep going. I think we may have all heard this - "Don't sweat the small stuff, and remember, its all small stuff." You will be so incredibly happy with yourself, happier than ever before. I know, I know - we told ourselves that we wanted it to be healthier. Well, deep down I really wanted it to look good again, to not only feel (sxier) but to look it also. I will never regret having the band, and if I had to do it again, I would in a heartbeat. I also recommend it to anyone who asks. Whether they are just asking due to watching me loose the weight, or they are in need, or they know someone who is in need.

The band is more or less "forced portion control," so I don't feel like a fraud when I tell someone that all I am doing is focusing on diet and exercise...because it is 100% the truth. It may not be the WHOLE truth, but it is all the truth they need to know!

I'd like to tell you you're not a fraud, but you can still choose to feel that way. So I'll just tell you how I feel. I feel like I worked very, very hard using my band and my behavior to get me to my goal weight. Anybody who thinks that's "the easy way out" hasn't been down the same road as me, so who are they to judge? At the same time, the whole freaking point of my WLS choice was to make weight loss easier (and more successful) than all my previous attempts, and it would be foolish of me to deny that.

Sometimes when I hear myself telling an acquaintance that I lost weight by eating less and exercising more (which is the truth), I catch myself thinking, "If only they knew!" But I have no way of reading other peoples' minds (my own mind is already hard enough to deal with) or predicting their responses to things I do and say, so I try not to waste a lot of time dwelling on what they think of me. If some of them choose to think of me as a fraud, that's their business. If they choose to tell me I'm a fraud, they'd better duck!

Jean

Thanks everyone. It's only been three weeks for me and I keep hoping I can pull this all off. Most of my friends are in the normal weight range so it isn't something I would recommend to them. The people I have told have been supportive but I guess I'm in a way ashamed to having to "resort" to WLS. I know some of my friends would have an absolute cow if they knew. Most of my friends told me I wasn't heavy enough to go to this extreme every time I even mentioned it. Told me to just cut back and exercize more. Wow I had NEVER thought of that before.

But in the end it's myself I have to make happy and myself who needs to accept the decisons I have made.

Jean you made me laugh. And I also just finished reading your book. Loved it. Very informative.

The lap band is a tool you work with, it doesn't do all the work for you. I don't have any fills either and I am working the band like it isn't there. I am changing my life. Yes I have the band and it comes in handy, but it doesn't force me to go to the gym in the morning. It didn't force me to stop eating potatoes, beer and rice...

You are doing the work. You have a tool. It is like someone building a house, you would compliment him on the look and craftsmanship of his work, not question the tools created to get the results.

You are not a fraud. You are working hard to achieve your goals

I don't have a problem not telling my friends, but not telling my sister has been the worst! We're very close and she has the same weight issues that I have -- but she has very different ideas about any kind of medical intervention -- for anything! I think she would feel sorry that I felt like I had to go to this extreme, and I consider myself very lucky for having this option, so I think she's better off in the dark. I sure don't want my sister's pity for something I'm thrilled about having done! Oh, well, it is what it is.

Please don’t hate me for saying this but I am just being honest from my own experiences, a mutual friend of our group started weight watchers and begin losing, in about 6 months she looked amazing totally different person, with a little peer pressure from family and friends I decided to give weight watcher another go, after investing in meetings, food, scales, time and everything else that goes with it, again ended up a failure. “if she could do why couldn’t I?” very depressing to try try and fail, after getting banded I found out 2 of my in-laws where banded and our little weight watcher friend ……..she had gotten a sleeve done……..REALLY? to this day I still hold a grudge I feel lied to and betrayed …I feel if they would have cared just a little, they would have let me know why they were/are truly succeeding, every time I see a commercial about some new or old weight loss meds, machine, food or program I always think to myself, Yes, they might being doing that, but I guarantee they have had some kind of WLS first.

And if we are being completely honest we would not be succeeding without this tool, to make people believe that we are somehow stronger or better is deceiving. Anything else is sugar coating, It is what it is. People talk, as much as you think your secret is safe it’s not!

My bland response when asked if I'm losing weight is "I'm working hard at it". I give very little away in a normal conversation. I do have family members that could benefit from WLS and had any of them asked how I was doing it, I would have to answer truthfully and spill about the Band. With them, I would tell of the band in hopes that it could help them. I don't preach about it but I would willingly share with someone I felt was being truly honest and interested in being successful. For a general aquaintance, I watch what I eat and have started exercising. Right or wrong, I'm not far enough along in this process to be a LabBand poster child.

Thanks everyone. It's only been three weeks for me and I keep hoping I can pull this all off. Most of my friends are in the normal weight range so it isn't something I would recommend to them. The people I have told have been supportive but I guess I'm in a way ashamed to having to "resort" to WLS. I know some of my friends would have an absolute cow if they knew. Most of my friends told me I wasn't heavy enough to go to this extreme every time I even mentioned it. Told me to just cut back and exercize more. Wow I had NEVER thought of that before.

But in the end it's myself I have to make happy and myself who needs to accept the decisons I have made.

Jean you made me laugh. And I also just finished reading your book. Loved it. Very informative.

Glad I made you laugh, and that you loved Bandwagon. My advice may be crap, but I'm always good for a laugh or two!