I am considering the band but have some reservations. I have a BMI of 34 with chronic knee pain due to arthritis ( I am only 36) Since I am about 8lbs away from a BMI of 35 I have to pay for the surgery out of pocket. The sleeve which I think I would prefer to get is out of reach because I dont weigh enough (never heard that before) Obviously you have to change you lifestyle to be successful but I am afraid it will change too much. I love to entertain and have people over for dinner. I enjoy wine of course some pepsi every once in awhile. The research I have found says you cant have alcohol or drink carbanated beverages, that you cant drink while eating. Am I going to miss that part of my life so much that I regret it? Will I be a completely different person at social events? I am not really sure what I am trying to say, I am just scared.

I stayed away from alcohol for 9 months, put now enjoy a glass of wine now and then. As for soda, yes it is a big no no. Once you get used to not drinking when you eat, it is no big deal. You will not be a different person at social events, you will be you. The lap band has made changes in my life, but good ones. I am healthy and still enjoy doing the things I did before and eating the things I did before just in a lot smaller amount. It is ok to be scared, we all were in the same boat when we started our journeys and look at how we all have succeeded. Good luck

These are really good questions and if you really would rather have parties than be healthy this may not be for you. I can eat and drink at a party and definitely enjoy both. Bit you have to be really ready and willing to change your behavior with the band to succeed. Have you considered gaining the 8 pounds to qualify? I would have had to gain 29 pounds s I did self pay.

I think one time or another in the process, we all take a step back and think, omG I'm not going to be able to do all the same things....but thats your fear talking. I may jot be able to eat white bread....ok, but ill look hot. So its ok. You have to learn how to tell that voice of fear to shut up, because you can easily find a million reasons why you can't eat better, exercise, etc. I'm the queen of excuses, but look where its gotten me. You will still enjoy food, but you will enjoy life more!

It is a change, but it's not the drastic change you may fear.

I really dreaded giving up soda because I used to drink so much of it, but I can honestly say I don't miss it at ALL.

I drink wine, and I have dinner parties. Although I don't drink other beverages while eating, I will drink wine while I eat. I go out to eat with friends. The difference is, I keep my portions small and I make good choices. For example, at my last dinner party, I made a baked eggplant parm that was super healthy and low-fat and a homemade salad dressing that was no-sugar and low fat and NO ONE knew but me.

The fact is, though, that we have to make changes and there is mourning involved for some of them. If you want to keep living the exact life you live now, then the band won't work (and neither will bypass or sleeve, for that matter). All of them require a commitment to do your part.

Good luck in your decision!

Not drinking while you eat is not downing a glass of Water, you can pour yourself a glass of wine, enjoy it before the meal, and sip it during. that's not going to have much effect on anything. I never drank soda very much so didnt/dont miss that. And I can eat almost anything, just in much smaller quantities. My life hasnt changed in that regard, I entertain, go out etc - BUT (and this is a big but) you need to let go of the importance of food in your life. There's a fundamental difference between fat people and effortlessly thin people and that's that thin people enjoy their food, but it has nowhere near as much importance as it does for someone who's gotten fat. They dont sit there worrying about what others will think about what they eat, they dont rush in so that they get their share, they dont worry if they're out of the room while the donuts are brought out, because hey, its only a donut and you can get one anytime you reall want one, right?

Make no mistake, to lose weight and keep it off, you MUST change. Your eating habits and approaches have made you fat. Whether you get a band or not, you cant continue to be the same or your weight will only continue to increase. I worried exactly like you are doing before I realised that one fact and then decided that I would go with the band to make sure I really DID change. But it took me several false starts to feel ready to do that.

Now, my life is a new normal. There's some things I cant do or eat or whatever, and over the years, that's just become normal to me, no mourning for old times. And now I'm doing it again as I've had major bowel surgery a year ago (lost quite a lot of my plumbing) and now have to relearn how to eat and manage a much shorter digestive system. I would be desperate if I hadnt been through such a change before when I got my band and know that eventually, it will just become normal to me.

I had that fear until I decided that the positives of lower bmi with increased health and feeling good about myself out wt'ed the neg.s. this is part of your research. You have to take the time to read posts neg. And positives and talking to your Dr. All this should help you decide. Good luck!

I also had a BMI of 34, with high cholesterol, high triglycerides, the beginnings of fatty liver disease and sleep apnea. I was banded on 12/30, self-pay, and it was the best decision I've ever made. You don't have to drastically change your life: I was worried about that, because I LOVE food. But having been on WW the last 2 years and realizing I can eat the same foods by making them healthier (fat free or low fat cheeses, etc), the only thing that's really changed is the portions. Yes, there are some things I can't eat - I was so thirsty for a diet Dr Pepper tonight so I poured it over ice (my nutritionist suggested that to take some of the carbonation out) and had a couple of sips and you know what? It didn't taste all that good and I ended up pouring it down the sink.

Its all about moderation, whether you have the band or not. For me, its a tool that I can use to control my weight so I can get off the diet treadmill that I've been on since I was 14. I'd pay again to have it done and I'm only 17 days out from my surgery.

Check out WW online; they have some awesome recipes (I made fat-free cheesecake and my husband didn't know it!) and can help you decide if you truly need the surgery or just need a plan to help you. And ask lots of questions here - everyone is so helpful and supportive - and you can learn a lot by just reading the forums.

Good luck!

Jachut hit the nail on the head in the first paragraph. Nothing has changed being banded for me other than I eat A LOT less than I used to. I can eat bread, in small quantities, I can drink alcohol, although it doesn't take much to get me drunk anymore, I can go out and do exactly what I used to, i am just more careful. Maybe I am one of the more fortunate ones and am not so limited as others. I lose slower than some on this site, but I still LOSE! I had a BMI of 34 when banded with no other complications. I paid for it on my own. I didn't want to wait until problems came about for my weight. If you are not ready for what might come, you may want to wait and do more research. Good luck in whatever you do.

I still love socialising, having a drink and good food. You won't lose that.

My brother once told me he didn't think he could have the band coz he would hate that he couldn't eat as much as he liked. He's right, he shouldn't have the band.

But if HOW MUCH you eat isn't as important as WHAT you eat, then you can make those changes and not feel deprived. I did not cut out carbs or any one food group. I ate a little of everything, even chocolate, and I even drank alcohol.

And I have wine if I'm out for dinner. Always have. I just don't drink with every meal.

Wow, thanks everyone for the great responses. I feel in my heart like this is the right decision for me. I looked into that May and chickened out, now I am ready. You all put my fears to rest. I have my consultation on Friday and I am so excited.

Thanks again!

Wow, thanks everyone for the great responses. I feel in my heart like this is the right decision for me. I looked into that May and chickened out, now I am ready. You all put my fears to rest. I have my consultation on Friday and I am so excited.

Thanks again!

I just wanted to add that I had pretty bad knee and low back arthritis and that now that I am at normal weight my knees are totally normal and pain free but my back still hurts...weird! Maybe the knees are a lot more affected by the weight on them! (I was almost needing a cane for my knees before getting banded)

I am considering the band but have some reservations. I have a BMI of 34 with chronic knee pain due to arthritis ( I am only 36) Since I am about 8lbs away from a BMI of 35 I have to pay for the surgery out of pocket. The sleeve which I think I would prefer to get is out of reach because I dont weigh enough (never heard that before) Obviously you have to change you lifestyle to be successful but I am afraid it will change too much. I love to entertain and have people over for dinner. I enjoy wine of course some pepsi every once in awhile. The research I have found says you cant have alcohol or drink carbanated beverages, that you cant drink while eating. Am I going to miss that part of my life so much that I regret it? Will I be a completely different person at social events? I am not really sure what I am trying to say, I am just scared.

I thought giving up diet pepsi would kill me, now I don't even miss it. It's ok to drink alcohol you just have to watch the calories and be careful because it will affect you much quicker. As for the 8 pounds needed to get insurance to pay, just strap on some ankle weights and leave on your shoes!

I had many fears before getting banded but ultimately I wanted to be heathly again. I too, didn't meet the BMI requirement but had so many health issues that my insurance company paid for the surgery. I feared my life would drastically change. I have met my weight loss goal and still eat the same food I did before just in smaller portions. I was scared to death and over the last year and a half I never regretted the decision that I made.

This is a great place for support. Let us know what we can do to help!

I am the original party/social animal and being banded has not affected my enjoyment of life at all. Actually, just the opposite. Now that I have lost 54kg I have the energy to socialise more and for longer. I am even starting to not think about the food and drink and only have what I need rather than fearing that I am missing out if I don't dive and gorge myself. Now I can dance all night, cycle all day, walk for hours. My knees don't hurt anymore, no more indigestion, back pain is minimal and usually stress-related.

I can honestly tell you that now I enjoy my social life even more then before, I still can have a margarita and maybe a small appetizer, but most of all I love the way I feel wearing a size 14 pants instead of a size 20 I was wearing only 5 months ago.