I'm sitting in the parking lot at my work, ready to leave for the day, but in tears. I work in insurance and just spoke with a customer. In high school, I was good friends with his daughter and would go over the house once or twice a week. I asked him if he remembered me...he said he did, and said, you were at my house all the time, of course I remember you! You were always hungry! Just for the record, for anyone that is not aware of my past, I weighed about 125 pounds in high school. But only because my mother really watched what I ate, and had me gping to the gym with her. I would fluctuate 10 lbs up or down based on how much sneak eating I did.

It hurt so bad to hear that from someone, that's what he remembers about me. It really made me sad. I'm so embarassed of what I have become, and what I have allowed something as simple as food to control my life. It just brings up so many emotions that I can't even explain. But I want to thank you guys for being here, because I honestly can't even bring myself to tell my family this happened.

You poor thing! I think people really don't think when they say things, honestly I am sure this was not to be intended as an insult to you, but I guess hearing this person saying that to you when you are feeling lots of different emotions now really hit you hard. Just think you are doing the best thing for you, and had you been 125 lbs, that person would of said the same thing and you wouldn't of taken it so personally.

This reminds me when I ran into an old flame of mine that I was just crazy about, he said he missed me and thought about me often, he began to tell me what he missed the most..... My cooking he said. I just remember fighting back the tears as I tried to absorb what he said. I went home and cried, bawled like a baby, and when I stopped I thought about it... and just yelled F U Mother ......... well you can guess the rest

Hang in there sweety, hold your head up high, and keep smiling...

My heart goes out to you. Stupid things just come out of peoples' mouths sometimes, but its horrible when you're on the recieving end.

*hug*

It brought tears to my eyes reading your post! It reminds me of so many times people are thoughtless. I wish you much happiness and success for the future!

I'm hoping this person just simply didn't realize how that was going to sound. Geez, how insensitive!

I'm in the insurance business as well so that is what really caught my attention on your post. Let me tell you my insurance customer story and hopefully it will make you feel a little better.....

A few years ago (I was probably 235 lbs) a customer came in the office and was sitting at a co-workers desk just across from me. He was telling us about how his wife was on the big exercise and diet craze and how great she looked, blah blah. My co-worker asked him how much his wife had lost and he didn't know in pounds but he said she looked like my size 6 co-worker but she used to look like............and he pointed at me. OMG I thought I would die of embarassment. The tears literally stung my eyes but I couldn't show it at the time. Later my co-worker said.....that wasn't a very nice thing to say but the damage was done.

I continued to be out of control on my weight until last year. I got my band almost a year ago. My surgery was 1/11/11. I've lost about 40 lbs but my health is improved and I get quite a few compliments now.

Good Luck and keep us posted on your successs!

((hugs)). Sometimes its hard letting go of the past

First of all, I am very sorry that that happened and that your feelings were hurt. I have come to realize that there are simply some people in this world who have a serious gap between their brains and their mouths and I don't know if they mean to be rude or if they are oblivious to just how hateful the words coming out tend to be. It doesn't make it hurt any less. I understand what you are saying. I ask myself all the time how I could have allowed myself to become what I am. I am still the same person but I wear a coat of armor that has been built up over the years as a "protective layer" if you will. As outgoing as I am, privately I am very insecure. I want to be everyone's friend and I want to be the person that is always smiling and positive. I am not always. I have had my share of really insensitive (or blithely unaware) people that have said things that were truly mean. I never really got hurt from people who were being deliberately mean, it was always something like a little kid saying something innocently that hurt me, because kids just see what they see and I had to admit it was true. I had a "mean girl" in college come up to me because she wanted my seat (I sat in like the 3rd row of an auditorium). There were hundreds of empty seats and it was simply her way of exerting herself. She came up and told (not asked) me to move (at the time I was 100 pounds less than I am now) and I said no. She said "well, you don't want to move because you are fat and lazy". I slowly looked up and sizing her up and down (a barbie doll nightmare sorority chick) and said, "Well, there was an intelligent response. Perhaps I should speak with the dean about the state of affairs at this university and how terribly obvious it is that they are scraping the bottom of the barrel for students." She burst into tears, quit the class and I never saw her again. I can be pretty damn mean myself. But anyway, it was always the innocent remarks that stung the worst. I really hope he didn't mean it the way it came out, but if he did, then he is a schmuck. You are taking control of your life and you are beautiful and you are strong. You will become the best you that you can be and I am going to be so thrilled to see how well you do.

Take care,

Jen

Ok, someone straighten me out.

You were 125 lbs and upset that someone remembers you as eating all the time?

I have friends who are not overweight either, but eat like a horse! I don't know how they do it!

Hey, don't worry we all will be drop dead HOT soon enough. Don't ever think the way someone remembers us is a bad thing. It just means we have a spot in their memory bank. Better to be here on earth than not. Big or small. Keep your head up and working hard.

Crystal

I have been hungry since I was born, and people remember me from being what my daddy called a human garbage disposal. He said from the time I was eating table food, I would eat my food and clean everyone elses plate too. Why would they allow a child to do that? They thought it was cute. Because I was not over weight as a child they saw nothing wrong with this behavior. The man who said that to you probably was not even realizing that you have a problem now. But that I know does not make you feel any less hurt, But look where you are now! You are on your way to changing all of that and you are going to feel so good!!

First of all, I would like to thank everyone for their support. It truly means so much to be knowing someone knows how I feel.

I guess what upset me most, to answer you question, B-52, is--if he thought that then, when the heck would he think NOW?

Another thing that bothered me is, I used to go over this girls house when both her parents were usually at work, after school on a Friday, and we would walk from her house to our high school for football games. I never ate dinner there, in fact, can't remember ever eating a morsel there. Which is why I was hurt and confused at the same time. I don't know.

What I do know is that I am thankful for all of you, because for the first time, I have people to turn to that have been there. People that have struggled the way I have, felt the embarrassment, in one way or another.

As a matter of fact, this brings another insurance office story to mind (how could I forget)...I work in an office with 4 other girls. My grandmother, who is 86 years old, was in the office for a visit. Everyone was telling her how great she looks for her age blah blah blah. Our financial specialist, a man, was telling my grandmother what a beautiful family she has--she said something to the effect of--yes, I have such a beautiful family, and my granddaughter has a beautiful face, BUT she's "heavy". In front of everyone, and they all went silent. The tears came. And I ran to the bathroom. Thank God I love the girls I work with. They were so supportive about the whole thing, but it really stung.

I can't wait for surgery.

arrrrrrrrrggggggg!!!! hugs to all of you who have to put up with others peoples insensitive comments ! i have a really good sense of humor about life and my weight, so when somebody makes a rare comment i just rub my hands over my full hips and say "honey, i am FABULOUS, i did not get this figure on fruits and vegetables but i am still FABULOUS !!!" and you know what ? if people know you have a good sense of humor about yourself, they usually know you can handle a little fun. as far as the rude insensitive comments from people, hey, call them on it !!! politely tell them that their comment was uncalled for !! when you start gently but firmly standing up for yourself, they'll watch their words a little more carefully. go for it and remember YOU ARE SO WORTH IT !!!!!!

@pattigirl66; Very good advise and Way to go!

@horsegirl315; I know people say lose weight for yourself, well losing weight as a revenge tactic is pretty awesome too. Use him and every other person who opens mouth and inserts foot as motivation to reaching your goal.

Now use your imagination that you are receiving a group hug from everybody on here, feels nice doesn't it.

Horsegirl, My Grandma is the same exact way. Shes said multiple hurtful things over the years to me and my Mother who was once overweight. On a few occasions she has been like "Can I ask you something? I just need to know, how did you get SO BIG?" And I always just say to her well Gram how do you think? I ate! I had 6 surgeries from the time I was 14-19 and was stuck in bed for many years because of it, never getting excersise, and eating! I always tried to make light of it because I didn't want it to go any further but it always bothered me...she even made my Mom cry with her comments. Then I had the same thing happen with this b***h of a co-worker who was talking behind my back saying the same exact thing...asking how I got so big..its like...what a stupid freakin question!

I was at my grandmother's 85th birthday party and my dad asked: "When did you and [your aunt] get so fat?" At that time, I weighed all of 135 lbs (I'm 5'1"); people can be so thoughtless - not because they're being mean, but just because they don't THINK before they say things.

I should have asked him when he got so stupid - but that makes me mean and I'm not a mean person.

Big hug from me.