HA! I knew you couldn't resist. Guys, this is NOT the "Why are women so weird" thread so don't even go there. If you want a thread to cluck about us, go start one.

This spousal unit of mine is too strange for words. The more I lose, the weirder he gets. He's off work temporarily. I figured he'd finally finish the tile job from 3 years ago. He didn't have time though because he was busy diamond-plating his workbench. Yes, you read that right. (Diamond plate is expensive shiny metal sheet stuff for backs of trailers n' junk.)

I recently needed his help out back, but he insisted he was too busy tied up on a project in the garage. Our house needs painted, the lawn is a mess, but we have plenty of nickels on a stick. Yes, you heard that right. The important project that kept him from fixing the pool pump was making nickels on a stick, only he get really pissed that I call them that. What? Oh, he was welding an Indian head nickel to a large nail. This way you kinda have a huge thumbtack to use for important stuff. I don't know what could be so important, but we've got nickels on a stick now.

Last night I ordered two whole pizzas for us. I had 1.5 pieces and planned on another 1.5 pieces tonight but there was only one piece left. It really pissed him off that I ate "his" last piece of pizza. Did I mention I (ME) was the one that ordered the two pizzas, and I was the one that picked them up, because I was the one that had a hankering?

How weird is your man?

Guys, here's your chance to defend yourselves by explaining the need for nickels on a stick.

I could say something... but I won't. ((giggle))

Voodoo takes care of all pizza boxes, Jenna. YOU should know that.

"I know that toilet paper was $1.99 for 8 rolls in 1993, because it's still there on our computer. So I cop flack all the time about how irresponsible I am for not wanting to go round grey haired with eyebrows like a man. Apparently its my fault we're not rolling in it."

AND

"....where can I get a 'nickle on stick'...or at least a photo????"

OMG, it's only 4:00 a.m. and tears are rolling down my eyes while my gut is busting open! Jack, I will get you a photo of a nickle on a stick!

And now I have warm fuzzies over Dawg n' Nut, awweee!

Dawg's eyes are still closed, right? Susan, Valentine's Day is right around the corner. I don't have any goats, but I do carry a blow up sheep with anatomically correct orifices in my Slumber Parties inventory.

Wonky? I like that!

My man is perfect too. I'm not kidding. He lived alone for several years before we met so he knows how to take care of himself (toilet paper, laundry, towels). He knows he married a woman, not a housekeeper.

He was born without the genes that attract other men to bachelor parties and football games. He's a professional cook, too, and likes to shop! Best of all: he's congenitally unable to lie, about anything. :clap2:

It'll be 11 years for us in June, and I have never once thought he was weird. I am the luckiest woman in the world! :kiss2: :kiss2: :biggrin1:

I was in the garage getting the long extention cord out to hook to the shop vac. He told me he was going to have to teach me how to unroll the extention cord!

Betty ~ my idea of unrolling the exten. cord is taking it off the hook and dropping it on the floor. My guts busted on this one.... b/c Ive heard it myself.

Mike chews tobacco. He stands over the trash can to insert this crap in his mouth. When he's finished, there is tobacco ALL over the floor around the trash can.

Guess what he does? Swipes it with his foot and walks away.

...and whats the deal with guys and remote controls?

Paula, don't feel bad about DRY chew on the floor. My friend's husband spits in the bathtub. I'd leave a man over that.

Hey Paul, do you know about fainting goats? When they are scared or nervous they tense up and fall over, it is a riot to watch. I will try to fint the exact name of them and see if I can find a video clip of them falling over, just a riot...~Mandy

Actually, even as a guy I've found some 'man' habits more than wierd and repulsive. I think the tip top on my list is the good old "farmer blow".

It goes like this:

At a red light, come to a complete halt in accordance with the law (though if you can terrify the granny in the civic infront of you, please do so).

Open your truck door. Note this only works in trucks, preferrably a beaten up '80s chevvy.

Apply one finger to the side of your nose, lean out the door and blow sharply. Repeat the process with the other nostril, if necessary.

If chew is also a factor, please feel free to spit the juice, as close to the car next to you as possible.

Please note, the possession of testosterone, does not automatically equate to abhorant behavior.

And I did see that about the inflatable sheep Delarla, as a matter of fact I have given those as a gift myself. When a friend from New Zealand left a company I used to work for, I gave him one inflated with helium on a ribbon. It bobbed merily around the ceiling. If you've never tried it. Do so. You could tow it behind the ride for many amused looks (and a really interesting ticket from the first cop you meet).

Hey Paul, do you know about fainting goats? When they are scared or nervous they tense up and fall over, it is a riot to watch. I will try to fint the exact name of them and see if I can find a video clip of them falling over, just a riot...~Mandy

Fainting Goat. Rad. I want one.

Here is a fainting goat video for ya' ~Mandy

http://www.videotiger.com/goatsvideo.shtml

Here is a fainting goat video for ya' ~Mandy

http://www.videotiger.com/goatsvideo.shtml

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Beside, goats are cool. It's a fact.

I *KNEW* there was something weird about you!!!!

Tho I can't point and laugh too much....my man has thing about monkeys. He *loves* monkeys. He was recently on a business trip to Japan and took a VERY long train to get to that place where the monkeys sit there in the hot springs with the snow all around. He keeps sending me the link to a webcam of that place......yeah, I just don't get it......

And HEY Dawg, I thought you weren't looking!!!!!!! Dang boys, they just don't follow instructions!!!

Wonky? I like that!

You may have it and use it in good health!! Anytime I can spread my bastardization of the english language, I'm all good!

I am in a relationship for the last few months and its mostly good except for things like:

He is a 29 year old man who thinks farting is fuuny.

Burping is too.

Spending a thousand dollars on the latest xbox is fine, but buying Cereal that isn't on sale is unheard of.

He likes cute lingerie. Ok, so I must wear sexy lingerie to get sum... aren't I enough?!?! Damnit, it's ME that he touches and plays with, not my undies! And they come off anyway. *sigh*

He's not too bad though, just a little odd. And he has a secret affair with super spicy foods.

I *KNEW* there was something weird about you!!!!

Tho I can't point and laugh too much....my man has thing about monkeys. He *loves* monkeys. He was recently on a business trip to Japan and took a VERY long train to get to that place where the monkeys sit there in the hot springs with the snow all around. He keeps sending me the link to a webcam of that place......yeah, I just don't get it......

And HEY Dawg, I thought you weren't looking!!!!!!! Dang boys, they just don't follow instructions!!!

You may have it and use it in good health!! Anytime I can spread my bastardization of the english language, I'm all good!

Monkeys are an acceptable goat substitute. Unless they misbehave.

And a wise man once said:

"If the dog misbehaves, do you blame the dog, or the person who trained the dog?"