HA! I knew you couldn't resist. Guys, this is NOT the "Why are women so weird" thread so don't even go there. If you want a thread to cluck about us, go start one.

This spousal unit of mine is too strange for words. The more I lose, the weirder he gets. He's off work temporarily. I figured he'd finally finish the tile job from 3 years ago. He didn't have time though because he was busy diamond-plating his workbench. Yes, you read that right. (Diamond plate is expensive shiny metal sheet stuff for backs of trailers n' junk.)

I recently needed his help out back, but he insisted he was too busy tied up on a project in the garage. Our house needs painted, the lawn is a mess, but we have plenty of nickels on a stick. Yes, you heard that right. The important project that kept him from fixing the pool pump was making nickels on a stick, only he get really pissed that I call them that. What? Oh, he was welding an Indian head nickel to a large nail. This way you kinda have a huge thumbtack to use for important stuff. I don't know what could be so important, but we've got nickels on a stick now.

Last night I ordered two whole pizzas for us. I had 1.5 pieces and planned on another 1.5 pieces tonight but there was only one piece left. It really pissed him off that I ate "his" last piece of pizza. Did I mention I (ME) was the one that ordered the two pizzas, and I was the one that picked them up, because I was the one that had a hankering?

How weird is your man?

Guys, here's your chance to defend yourselves by explaining the need for nickels on a stick.

Towel rack, hell, I can hang a new wooden ladder on that hook!

Oh, How could I forget about the towel rack. My husband ALWAYS has something hanging off that thing!!!

I have just come to the conclusion that men are obsessed with their equipment... (me too)

Towel rack, hell, I can hang a new wooden ladder on that hook!

To quote the woman in your life...."*sigh*...Yes dear"

lol!!!!

Donali, John's such a dork. I mean, if he's gonna do it, why go cassette when you he can go 8 Track? DOINK

"Oh, and the damn nickel on a stick. If you have neither goat or monkey, but you DO own a welding torch... what better thing could there be to do?"

Uh, like he can "do" the dishes instead of sticking them in the cupboard out of the non-working dishwasher with dried chunks of stuff in them. Or hell, he could do something about the broken dishwasher for example.

Let's keep the animals out of this because I'm quite partial to goats and monkeys, and my husband is the one jealous of the dogs. He says he's sending them off to boarding school because I broke them. Spoiled? Nah. All dogs should be fork trained like my precious angels.

My Sissy is also fork trained and is the best fake shake beggar in the world!

As for the casettes Donali, I told my husband he was in charge of of the music for our romantical Valentine's Day evening, since I am cooking. I figured he would set up the 6 disc changer and have it ready for that night. Last night he came home with an ECONO pack of empty casette tapes, I'm talking 30 of the things from Sam's. I asked him where he plans on using ALL of those. He told me he wanted to make me a mixed tape. Apparently 30 of them??? Who knows. We also have a CD burner??? What is with the tapes??

Ok, on the subject of music... I have to tell the story.

DH and I were married in Vegas - Red Rock Canyon. It was a wedding we decided on quickly and didn't have a lot of time to prepare for, or give would-be attendees notice of. Since his parents are 6000 miles away, our wedding party consisted of me, him, my parents, our limo driver, our JOP, and the photographer.

To try and make-up for this, we postponed our reception until we got back home. DH is a major audiophile, so I left music selection for the event to him. My only guideline was, "Nothing stupid."

The music was actually ok, but timing being perfect as it tends to be, right as I was walking up in front of everyone to help my husband cut our cake, Mike Oldfield's "Tubular Bells," better known as the eerie theme from The Exorcist. My family is largely Catholic, believers in possession, and scared sh!tless by that movie. The looks on the crowd's faces were absolutely priceless.

See, DH is from Europe, and much more deeply into synth music than cheesy American movies. As such, he had never seen the movie, but was a huge fan of the song... which he associated with warm weather, green hills, and fun times. He thought it would be the *perfect* song to Celebrate the start of our lives together. I guess in some ways, he was spot on.

HMGTKIFS (holding my gut to keep it from splitting)

I don't know what's funnier, 30 tapes or the theme from The Exorcist at a Redrock wedding. OMG to the thought of either!

Our first house had a massive game room with a 14 foot bar and was badly in need of pictures for the enormous bare walls. When I was at work, Chris called to say he had a suprise. When I pulled in the garage, he excitedly told me he decorated our living room. My darling husband purchased not only purchased but had profesionally framed and hung "posters" of Ozzie, Black Sabbath & Metallica. For my living room! I nearly lost my mind. Poor guy thinks like he's 15. Needless to say my head spun around till they were safely in the garage, where posters of Ozzie Osbourn belong!

"Needless to say my head spun around till they were safely in the garage, where posters of Ozzie Osbourn belong!"

Right on! You just know he thought it was the greatest surprise ever though!

What's wrong with Ozzy posters? Ok, perhaps not in the LIVINGROOM...

Kryssa, I'm all about Ozzy but NOT in my living room! We had just bought and $8000 living room set consisting of 13 matching pieces (rugs, too.) And he puts up framed posters? How does Nana say it? "I think not."

ooooo I think not too. I have a similar room in my house, I even have white on white couches (and 4 kids and 3 dogs). It's my little showplace with Japanese lanterns and dragons and water fountains and plants. All the Ozzy (Poison, Cinderella, Def Lepard, Bon Jovi, Match Box 20, Fuel, etc.) posters have to stay in the gameroom. Luckily, my man is very tolerant of hair bands even if he'd rather go to a Gretchen Wilson concert. Which was excellent BTW.

Gretchen rocks my boots, but back to my weird guy:

He says you can only eat certain foods with certain foods. I tell him, "We're grown ups and we can eat any combo we want." He disagrees and refuses to eat things unless they're accompanied by other things. He's got a list of these rules, for example, he'll only eat grapefruit with Peanut Butter toast. Grape jelly was invented for Egg McMuffin's and Sunday pot roast dinner only. Squash goes with pork roast or don't make the roast, and stuffing is only a side dish if it's served with mashed potatoes and gravy. And according to him, "Everyone knows this."

And according to him, "Everyone knows this."

Kind of makes me want to eat a grapefruit with some mashed potatoes and gravy right in front of him just to see if he freaks out. I'm a stinker like that!

Or prepare squash with no pork? That's just insane! Insane I say!!!

Everyone does not know this...I have this talk with mine too. He thinks ANY fried meat requires mashed potatoes and gravy. Should I have the audacity to pick up yellow rice to go with the porkchops he pouts! PBJ can NOT be made with wheat bread and ONLY with strawberry preserves. pumpkin pie will go bad if we are out of whipped cream. Everything has to have onions in it (thank goodness I like them). Brussel sprouts can't be made unless we are having ham (Yick! Hate brussel sprouts). Pork roast can be given to the dogs if we are out of BBQ sauce, even if I marinated it for hours, and pork roast night is the only time it is acceptable to serve sweet potatos. Cabbage must be accompanied by sausage, no chicken will do.

Is this a man thing? I love food too much to be so picky about combinations...