Ok so I told a friend that I was considering getting the lapband and I have been researching it. She said, "that sounds like a cop out to me, you just need to work at it, why would you even consider surgery?" :smile2: Needless to say I was hurt and frustrated by her comments, most of the postings I have read in here say that one still really has to work hard to remove the weight and that although the lapband is helpful it is not fool proof. Am I justified in feeling like she is way out of line? Do any of the "banded" feel like they copped out so to speak? Any thoughts? I believe I really need to make a permanent change and the band can help me with that. My doc suggested I look into it. I guess I am just frustrated. Any words of encouragement would be appreciated.

Ruthie,

First of all, even if it was the easy way out, which it isn't, why would it matter how you got there just so long as you get there?

Secondly, I can tell you that I have had to work my ass off to lose the 88 pounds I've lost thus far. I work out everyday at the gym and I ride my bicycle several times per week depending on my schedule and the weather permitting. I burned 1,900 calories riding my bike this weekend which included a lot of uphill. The only thing the band helps with is that we aren't starving to death while losing the weight.

I wouldn't be where I am now without my band!

Send your friend my way, I'll set her straight. In the meantime, you should do whatever you need to do in order to get healthier and prolong your lifespan.

Edited January 11, 201016 yr by happy2lose

I can definately relate to you. I mentioned to my close cousin/bff that I was looking into it and she had the same reaction. and im just thinking, how can she judge me when she told me she was sticking he finger down her throat to lose 30lbs?!? so I don't think I will let any of my family know that I am working towards gettint this surgery. It's sad when we don't have any support. this is no easy way out we will have to workout and still eat right. this is only to help control the amount that we eat. im going to do what is best for me and I think you should consider to do the same.

I am glad to hear that I am not the only one dealing with this. I think you guys are right, I need to do what is right for me, and not to look back.

Um...it's surgery for goodness sake! It's very serious! At least for me. It has been a two year journey - all of the dr's appts., waiting, paperwork, evaluating what you are about to take on, the unexpected, learning how to use your tool, going for fills and unfills, dreaded stuck, it's been a roller coaster ride for me but and I'm still not finished. I think it's a huge decision and questioned if it was the easy way out but it hasn't been so easy...in fact, very difficult at times. I don't want to be judged either so I haven't told anyone. Makes it tricky too! Good Luck! This website has been the best support group you will find.

I have found it is people who don't have weight problems, or people who envy us the opportunity to get healthy who feel this way.

So be it. In that case, I "took the easy way out" and ended years of yo-yo dieting!

Denise

People who say that it's a copout, don't know their stuff! You have to work HARDER with this. You have to watch everything that you eat. It's not a quick fix at all. You have to learn how to eat as if you never had a meal. You do you and don't worry about anyone who is trying to sabotage your desire to be healthy. Hang in there!!

Here is the problem in a nutshell, people just aren't educated in weight loss surgery. Like anything in life until the masses are educated there will always be people making statements on things they have no idea on what they are talking about. You do what is right for you. Your friend isn't being mean, she is just uninformed.

Does she drive to work instead of walking?

Does she use elevator instead of stairs?

Does she get her news on tv, radio or in a paper instead of word of mouth?

If she does any of the above she is taking the easy way out.

On top of that, even if it is the easy way, it's too F*ing bad! There is nothing wrong with taking the easiest route if it doesn't harm you or anyone else.

You know something, I havent been banded yet but I am telling every one! and almost EVERY single person had exactly the same reaction or they said "why would you risk dying during surgery for that". Everybody has the answer to everything. That is a teenagers mentality the "I know everything" attitude. No one knows anything about you, even your closest friend. You do exactly what you want because in reality you may have very good friends and a great family but you ultimately only have yourself. You know what it is like to struggle with your weight. If you want to struggle less than why shouldnt you. Thats why Im doing it. I just cant do one more diet program ever again and feel like Im starving. I dont know ONE person that wasnt happy with their choice to have it done. Dont worry about what people say. To tell you the truth no one is really that interested in you anyway, you are just part of the passing show. Think about how interested you are in other peoples problems, not much right? So dont let their opinion take over your thoughts. Do it and be proud of it. It takes a tough person to make a decision and go thru with it. Yippy for you!:smile2:

Comments like that are annoying. That is why I haven't told many people. People are aways going to judge. And if the commenters have always been skinny, they don't know how it feels like to be overweight. I just feel as though if you don't know a situation or never researched or experienced a situation then you haven't yet earned an opinion on it. Don't let such comments let you down. Putting on weight is easy, taking it off is the hardest part. Maybe you should tell her that her comments hurt your feelings and that you think you seriously need help?

The part that annoys me on the comment is that she would say you need to work at it. I don't know anyone...ANYONE..that is overweight, much less had surgery, that hasn't worked at it. Who among us haven't been on every diet in the world. I've done them all. I've lost the same 50 lbs until it became 90. I know my insurance/surgeon wouldn't do the surgery unless you've tried other means. My daughter had her band before me. She's 39 and she had been overweight from the age of 5. I was taking her to doctors then. So she had 35 years of working at it until the psychological effects were becoming crippling. I had my band on June 1, 09, my daughter on 2/1/08. She's lost close to 100 lbs and reconstructive surgery and has probably met her life partner. I've lost 67 lbs, 25 more to go, but my perks are normal blood pressure, cholesterol, no sleep apnea, no joint aches...and it's not a free ride. It's still work. I do tell people and I don't care of their reaction. They need to have walked in our shoes before they can judge.

I WOULD DO IT AGAIN in a heartbeat and would recommend it to anyone rather than a lifetime of health issues.

Trisha

Ok so I told a friend that I was considering getting the LAP-BAND® and I have been researching it. She said, "that sounds like a cop out to me, you just need to work at it, why would you even consider surgery?"

I posted this once in a thread called "The Magic Wand" in the post op forum, but it never hurts to keep on saying it.

People who do not understand what the band is or how it works (and that includes some banders who think that everything will be ok once they get that fill) don't understand that the band is not a magic wand. It's just a tool...just like Jenny Craig, Weight Watchers, a gym membership, etc. are all 'tools'. Use the tool properly and you'll lose weight. Don't and you won't. Whichever tool you choose, *it* does not lose the weight...*you* do.

Even after you've reached restriction, it is still up to you to *choose* to *work* with the band. You can still eat slider foods...if you choose. You can drink with your meals and 'slide' them right on through so you can still eat to excess...if you choose. You can still make bad food choices and fill up on junk...if you choose. You can still sit on your butt, watching tv all day instead of getting up and moving around...if you choose.

The band does not make any of these choices. All it does is to allow you to feel 'full' (satisfied, content, had enough) after a reasonably sized meal...something normal weight people have and take for granted. I'm not even going to attempt a medical explanation, but simply put, when the upper part of the stomach is full, it sends a signal to the brain that says "I'm full...you can stop now."

We don't have that. Is it because we've stretched our stomachs and now have to overeat to fill to the upper part? I think it's more than that because two of my aunts were counting calories and watching everything that went in their mouths from the time they were 13 or 14 because they didn't want to be fat like the rest of the women in the family. They struggled with being hungry all the time but they stayed at a normal weight...until their first pregnancy and gave themselves permission to 'eat for two'. Both said it was the first time in their lives that they weren't hungry.

That's why even if you 'work at it' (go ahead and smack her :smile2:), you'll always struggle with the hunger and will, most likely, put the weight back on...just as the vast majority of overweight people do. Few are successful at keeping the weight off because they still have to deal with that hunger.

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If you want to struggle less than why shouldnt you. Thats why Im doing it. I just cant do one more diet program ever again and feel like Im starving.

I don't know about 'struggling less'...but it will help with the feeling of 'hunger' once you get your fills. It won't help with the head hunger or make your choices for you.

I've only been banded since Dec. 22... Everyone who thinks this is 'easy' can kiss my butt.

Sorry if I offended anyone. :smile2:

I've only been banded since Dec. 22... Everyone who thinks this is 'easy' can kiss my butt.

Sorry if I offended anyone. :smile2:

Bahahahahaha!!! That's the best answer yet.

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