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I live in Texas. LOL, in my family "wench" is a term of endearment. I'm the kitchen wench. It was supposed to be funny, sorry. I've been a wench as have my sissies for years. We actually love the term. Also, just to be clear. DAMN straight I want to be thin. I also wanted to save my forkin life. At 287 I was on 3 blood pressure meds, 3 asthma drugs, GERD medicine, had fluid around my heart, had a very low ejection fraction, had Stage II lymphedema in my arm from cancer. And was at serious risk for BC recurrence. My oncologist BEGGED me for 2 years to do this surgery. He felt it was maybe the only hope I had of surviving 10 years from the cancer without recurrence. I was bed-bound, could barely shower, could barely walk from my recliner where I lived to the potty. I could not stand to cook cuz the pain and exhaustion was terrible. I got MSSA in my foot that took 3 months to heal and wasn't being helped cuz of the heart fluid and leg fluid and BP issues. I could not sleep longer than 1-2 hour stretches and I was in aching 8scale pain 24/7/365. Am I sooo unbelievably thrilled I can now sleep 4-5 hours at a stretch without waking from crying in pain? Am I glad my neuralgia is partially better around my chest and down my left arm from the surgery? Am I glad to have my life back? Am I happy to be off all asthma drugs and off all bp meds except a lower dose of 1? Am I happy my fluid around the heart is slowly improving, the ejection fraction has improved 5%, am I thrilled to be able to bathe, cook, clean my house and be a better partner? Fu*k yeah! Am I thrilled I can now shop for the first time in 8 years? That I can walk for 1 hour straight? That I can stand for longer than 10 minutes? Am I determined DETERMINED that I will be in the normal weight category just once in my life? FU*K yeah! And I would not (in the end) let anyone or anything keep me from having the chance to reclaim my life. I will also jump through fire to keep from ever going back to that place of living hell ad misery where I lay in my chair and prayed to die. I was TRYING to be charitable about your motives dude. LOL.

I also have my gastric bypass on 7/25, and you're both doing better than me. I am down 16.5 pounds from my morning weight on 7/25. Add 7.5 pounds to that if you want to count my 3-day clear liquid diet immediately before surgery. I think I'm just about where I need to be. My first goal is to lose 16-19% of my excess body weight and 2.5-3" from my waist by my 1-month weigh-in. This will put me at the 50th to 75th percentile for gastric bypass patients according to one large peer-reviewed study.

I’m eating way more than that (grain bowls, rice bowls, etc etc about 1/2 portion sized for a typical restaurant). I also exercise heavily and run 10 mile obstacle races. I even eat carbs for energy for races and workouts. The doctor confirmed that my diet is working for me. Right now my weight loss has slowed to a crawl so I’m thinking about adjusting to paleo or smaller portions to get these last 15lbs. HW 227 SW 221 GW1 185 - Bye bye obese GW2 154 - Bye bye overweight CW 151 GW3 135 5’6”

Lol arnold lifting😂 wow thats awesome you are a personal trainer i could literally pick your brain for hours..... My job is quite hectic im on my feet all day so 10k steps is a pretty common day.... I always felt that the run (which is a mile and usually under 10 min)/spin would work as a warm up to get my blood pumping and head in the game after a 12hr shift. (And let that pre work out kick in!) I never thought it would hinder my weight lifting! Im definitely going to give your suggestions a try! Thank you!

My surgeon requires three months of group meetings with the nutritionist (or three individual meetings if you are from out of the area, like me), psychologist screening, sleep study (I am already on C-PAP), exercise physiologist, and a quiz from the nutritionist at the end to determine if you are ready. I was issued a 1" binder with all of the pages professionally printed in thick, laminated card stock. None of the information within the binder contradicted any other information. Since I was seen by a different bariatric surgeon back in April in Idaho and was referred to this surgeon in Salt Lake City, my "supervised weight loss" (from the insurance standpoint) actually started in April, so they fast-tracked me through the nutrition visits. I was scheduled each week with an individual appointment to see the nutritionist. Since June 29, 2019, (when I first saw the surgeon) I have had 16 appointments in six visits. I live in Ammon, ID and have to drive to Salt Lake City, UT each time. It is approximately 500 miles round trip. I have seen the surgeon three times so far. When I took the NUT quiz, there was an interview after to make sure I had absorbed the information - this was a contingency for my pre-op appointment. The surgeon said that if I do not get past the NUT, he would make me reschedule the pre-op appointment. That was not necessary since I passed the quiz and interview just fine. Overall, I feel that I am in good hands and am well informed on what I am getting myself into. I wish this were the case for everyone... Good luck!

So glad you mentioned Lyss. Great post, dude. To the OP, I don't think you're wife bashing or whatever you are accused of doing in this post. (skimming only). I think you are genuinely concerned. I'm sure others have mentioned, that initially due to weight loss in general, but due to quick weight loss in particular, we get to the point toward goal where we do look like melted candles--a bit--at least I'm looking decidedly melty-ish in parts these days. But over the next year, the fat will actually re-distribute and fill out some places. I'd say if the doc isn't worried, then take comfort from that, and trust your wife. This is clearly important to her. You've no idea of the beasts and battles we have in our heads re: weight, self-esteem, sexuality. We may appear the most confident women in the world and some are! But others of us fight it daily. And it's a big war within. I think your fear stems from the experience with your aunt. I'm sorry for your loss. It honestly sounds like maybe your aunt's tummy twisted and blood flow got cut off and that's why she went septic. But, I also think some of this is your seeing your wife for the first time outside the norm--as a skinny wench. And that takes us all time. The body dysmorphia applies to loved ones and friends as well as the bariatric patient. Just for reference, your wife is SMACK in the middle of normal weight for her height. Yay team! I know I'm not planning on stopping until I get to the normal weight zone. There can be a 10-15lb regain around 2-5 years, so there is that as well... I just think keep on doing your research, stay connected here for support and be supportive of your wife's journey. And it DOES help to talk it out with someone who went to school for therapy rather than us internet whackamoles! Cheers!

One more quick thing I wanted to add, that really resonated with me when I spoke with Dr. Fitzer.... I have roughly 170 lbs to lose. For most of my adult life, I have been "dieting", losing 10 lbs here, regaining, then losing 20, or 30. I think the most I've ever lost in one stretch was 50 lbs. His words - "Statistically speaking, your chances of losing all the weight you need to lose on your own, is practically 0". I was shocked, and even mildly insulted. It was hard to take, but once I processed it, I realized he was right and I am grateful he said it because it was exactly what I needed to hear. The truth is, most of us fail on diets, especially those of us who are severely obese. And guess what? While it may be our faults we put on the weight, it's NOT our fault that we are unsuccessful at taking it off. Its not just as simple as will-power or calories in-calories out. Even with the surgery, YOU still have to put in the work to lose, but the surgery is a very powerful tool you can use to get there.

Fitzer's support group usually meets the first Monday of each month at 6:00. The first Monday of next month is Labor Day, so the group won't meet then. Deby, our support group leader, will announce the September date soon. It will probably be 9/10. The printed schedule says 9/11, but she thinks that's a typo. So stay tuned for more on the September meeting. Reston Hospital also has a bariatric surgery support group that meets on the third Thursday of each month at 6:30. Next Thursday, 8/16 is the next meeting date. Both support groups meet in the same conference room at the hospital: Pavilion II, 2nd floor, Conference Room A. You are welcome to drop in!

Just wanted to post some encouragement for everyone starting the preop diet. I’m on day 10 and I promise it does get better. I’m still hungry but I don’t have headaches and feel crappy. My surgery is in 5 days so that is motivation to stay strong! Good luck to everyone in surgery today!

I found a recipe for this on a low carb site and it was delicious I’ll try to post it below. You may it enjoy fresh over a frozen one. It was not hard to make or very time consuming. The only change I made was I didn’t use barbecue sauce I found Raus Homemade Pizza sauce at the store that’s also low carb and used that. The Best Low Carb Chicken Pizza Crust ★★★★★ 4.9 from 8 reviews * Author: Hey Keto Mama * Yield: 4-6 servings ingredients * 1 pound ground chicken thigh (more flavor/fat than ground chicken breast) * 1/2-3/4 cup grated (powdered) Parmesan cheese * 1/2 cup shredded Parmesan or Mozzarella * 1/4 cup frozen spinach (optional) * Salt, pepper to taste * 1 1/2 tsp chili powder (optional) instructions 1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees 2. In large bowl mix ground chicken thigh, cheese and seasoning 3. Thaw spinach and remove excess water with paper towel or cheesecloth, add to mixture 4. Line baking sheet with parchment paper and press chicken mixture into even thin layer 5. Bake for 20 minutes 6. Remove from oven and top with desired toppings ( I used red onion, cilantro, chicken, bacon and sugar free bbq sauce!) 7. Bake for an additional 10-15 minutes until cheese is melted and brown notes If using ground chicken breast, reduce cooking temperature to 375 and reduce cooking time to 15 minutes or until cooked through. Add additional time after toppings until cheese is melted and golden, being careful not to overcook. Once pizza cools a bit, it can be picked up like regular crust If mixture seems too wet, add more grated parmesan. I used freshly ground chicken thigh so there was less moisture. If you’re using a roll of chicken, it could be more wet and need extra cheese Personalize it with your favorite toppings and seasonings in the crust as well Separate into 4-6 and freeze chicken crust (no toppings) individually for quick meal nutrition * Serving Size: 1/4 Pizza * Calories: 193 * Fat: 8 * Carbohydrates: 0 * Protein: 27 Find it online: https://www.heyketomama.com/best-low-carb-chicken-pizza-crust/

Ok...so looking for some advice. First off let me start by explaining that my work schedule is hectic...im out the door by 530am and home roughly 530-6pm Im a mom and a wife so that also keeps me busy. I have a home gym with plenty of equipment, free weights, and bars/weights, pull up bar, elliptical, spin bike, treadmill, bowflex, weight benches and powerline p2x machine with the leg press...so no i never go to the gym and meet with personal trainers because i just dont have the extra time. every night i work out...i run a mile, or spin for roughly 30 min (aka my warm up)...just long enough to get the pre work out to kick in. Here is my routine not too detailed, but what i rotate...usually pick 5 exercises that target that spacific group and do 4 rounds of 10-15 reps Mon- warm up + 1 hr back Tue-warm up + 1 hr shoulders Wed-warm up + 1hr arms/bi's/tri's Thur-warm up + 1hr legs Fri-warm up + 1hr abs Sat-warm up + 1hr chest Sun-warm up + 1hr back And rotate back through the list. So long story short... the roughly 1.5 hours that i have avalible each night is my max time...you know before dinner homework ect. My delema is this...i wanted to do another round of insanity (30 day program) to switch things up...its about 45 min long cd's. Is it worth quitting the weight lifting/warm up to do a month of crossfit style exercise? I only have time for 1 or the other....

Heading to the hospital in about 10 minutes! So excited!

I lost hair for about 2 months, from 3 months to 5 months post op, approximately. I lost a lot and I'll admit it freaked me out. Total volume loss is probably 33%-50%, based upon the thickness of my pony tail. But, I still have absolutely no regrets! My hair loss is only noticeable at my temples and hair line. If my hair is down, no one can tell at all. The hair loss, as much as it sucked, is absolutely nothing compared to how fantastic I feel and look! Seriously, size 10-12 pants, size medium shirts, a little hair loss is a small price to pay.

Well, I can be blunt - I am retired IT and we like to get logical 1's and 0's. You are angry. Now maybe this is the emotion you display when worried, if that is the case you are probably displaying it in that manner to your wife too. It won't help the situation (and I would tune you out.) The decision was made, the surgery is over, the weight loss is the result, the body changes are right in front of you in black and white. As far as a medical issue, there could certainly be some issues since food is making her sick. The unused stomach portion left in can develop an ulcer, she can develop malnutrition and vitamin/mineral deficiencies. Has there been a full blood workup for bariatric patients? What was the result? Has she had a scope to check anything internal? Is her skin overly dry, dry brittle hair/nails, how are her teeth/gums, etc? Is she tired ALL the time? These questions/answers are real evidence, not skinny legs and loose skin. At 10 months she should be able to consume more calories than you state unless an issue is preventing the consumption. Is she sick immediately following certain foods - does she have her gall bladder ( I might have missed that on your post)? Does she take any NSAIDS or pain meds? Does she take acid reflux meds or other meds - thyroid, anti-depressants? She could have food aversions, not uncommon with wls patients. Gather more hard evidence when you make a concerned case, but be kind when giving the facts.

It can feel like a reason to not get surgery, but it isn't - it grows back. Mine started thinning prior to surgery just because of aging, and I had/have hair loss. I got a perm before surgery - it helps plump it up, plus volumizing mousse, and a little shorter cut. New hairs are coming in around the hairline and it will take awhile to grow out but holy chit - I wear size 10 jeans and shouted it out in Macy's dressing room yesterday - how cool is that!

My first consult with surgeon was Jan 29 and my surgery date was July 10. This included my surgeon being on vacation and my paperwork being lost in there office which delayed insurance.

My RNY bypass was on 8/1 I stayed in the hospital for 4 nights. I also had gall bladder removed, hernia repair & vagotomy & had swallowing difficulties. I have been staying with my sister, I don't so much need her help, but she had bypass 10 years ago so offers me helpful advice & keeps me resting. Bending, reaching & sleeping is still difficult, but I think I could have handled it at home alone if I'd had to! Best of luck to you!

No longer scheduled for August 20th The surgeon decided last week he wants me to have another scope to see if my ulcers are healed and there weren't any appointments available before the 20th. So, I have a scope on 8/31 and new surgery date is 9/10. Ugh so frustrating.

Looks like I'll have to start a September surgery buddies board if one isn't already started. Last week, the surgeon decided he wants me to have another scope to see if my ulcers have healed and there are no dates for a scope before 8/20 (my original surgery date.) So, now I have a scope on 8/31 and surgery 9/10 if all goes well with the scope Good luck to everyone having or who has already had surgery this month!

I had my Gastric Sleeve July 31, 2017. Two weeks before surgery my Dr. put me on a liquid diet. I lost about 10 lbs. in those 2 weeks. Overall I’ve lost about 65 lbs. My weight loss has slowed down a little, but at least it’s staying off so far. Those first two weeks after surgery were a little rough, LIQUID DIET, then gradually start soft foods. I’m happy with the weight I’ve lost so far. Hope to have met my goal by next summer.

To be clear though, I am a sleeve patient. There will be some differences in the amounts of food that can be eaten at one time. However, it has been proven that bypass patients can indeed lift weights successfully. The most famous example I can think of is Lyss Remaly: http://fabulyssfitlife.com To be fair to the OP though, the first year post op it is next to impossible to build muscle because of the lack of caloric surplus that is necessary to build new muscle. There will be atrophy and loss in size as the body breaks down muscle for the proteins needed for it to function. If she were lifting weights currently, she would be able to stave off some loss of size, but she would also be increasing the protein requirements thus breaking down more muscle, etcetera etc.. To the OP, give her time. 10 months is not that long. As long as she is having regular checkups with her surgeon and/or her primary physician to monitor her health, she will be fine.

I had intense pain about 4 weeks ago in right side flank area (6 weeks after sleeve surgery). I’m now down 21kg or 46.3 pounds so probably 17kg loss at that stage. Tests confirmed what the doctor at the ER suspected- a 6mm kidney stone had completely blocked the ureter. Right kidney was enlarged as a result and I had a kidney infection. Extremely painful! Surgery within about 10 hours to explode the stone and had a stent placed in ureter for 7 days after. I’ve had issues with kidney function/scarring/infections previously but this pain was on an entirely different level... they said the cause was uncertain but could be related to reduced fluid intake since the surgery (very nauseous after and struggled to eat or drink anything really). Hope they can work out what’s going on with you asap- good luck and hope you feel better soon.

I am not sure what type of surgery your wife had. That can make a difference on answering your concerns. I had gastric bypass and this the approach. The three most important elements after RNY gastric bypass surgery are to meet your daily protein, fluid and vitamin requirements. Food is secondary because your body is converting your stored fat into the energy that drives your body. Thus you lose weight. So the first step is to assess these three areas. Your wife should have been given a detailed list of daily requirements. You said that she is 10 months post-op and that "Damn near everything she eats makes her sick." That is a problem that needs to be resolved. Some individuals that undergo weight loss surgery develop strictures. This can cause them to be unable to take in small amounts of food without vomiting it back up. Others develop ulcers which can give the same symptoms. According to the internet: Nausea and vomiting are the most common complaints after bariatric surgery, and they are typically associated with inappropriate diet and noncompliance with a gastroplasty diet (ie, eat undisturbed, chew meticulously, never drink with meals, and wait 2 hours before drinking after solid food is consumed). If these symptoms are associated with epigastric pain, significant dehydration, or not explained by dietary indiscretions, an alternative diagnosis must be explored. One of the most common complications causing nausea and vomiting in gastric bypass patients is anastomotic ulcers, with and without stomal stenosis. Ulceration or stenosis at the gastrojejunostomy of the gastric bypass has a reported incidence of 3% to 20%. Although no unifying explanation for the etiology of anastomotic ulcers exists, most experts agree that the pathogenesis is likely multifactorial. These ulcers are thought to be due to a combination of preserved acid secretion in the pouch, tension from the Roux limb, ischemia from the operation, nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drug (NSAID) use, and perhaps Helicobacter pylori infection. Evidence suggests that little acid is secreted in the gastric bypass pouch; however, staple line dehiscence may lead to excessive acid bathing of the anastomosis. Treatment for both marginal ulcers and stomal ulcers should include avoidance of NSAIDs, antisecretory therapy with proton-pump inhibitors, and/or sucralfate. In addition, H pylori infection should be identified and treated, if present. So this can be a major problem that will need to be addressed. In a severe form, she might even find it difficult to consume liquids. If that is the case, it must be driven to ground. After my surgery, I found that softer foods (such as chili and soups) went down much easier than harder foods (such as chicken and steaks). Therefore I relied on softer foods for my meals. I have included some recipes at the end of the following article. http://www.breadandbutterscience.com/Surgery.pdf When you say that your wife looks emancipated, "Her legs and arms are twigs with extra skin and some flab." That was the way I looked several months after surgery. I looked like Dopey in Disney's cartoon movie Sleeping Beauty. I would receive comments that I looked like I came from a concentration camp. But it was all in perception. I had to replace my entire wardrobe including all my jackets and coats. It was because when I lost the weight I also lost the fat in my shoulders and as a result all my jackets and coats hung down way lower than the times of my fingers. I looked like Dopey. After I replaced the wardrobe with clothes that actually fit me, all those comments disappear. So make sure you buy her some new clothes. As far as "she has aged about 15-20 years on her face". I experienced that. I had very fine paper thin wrinkles all over my face. I looked like I was 100 years old. My wife suggested that I use a product called Bio-Oil (which can be found in stores like CVS, Krogers, Walmart). I followed her advise and it took all the wrinkles away. I have been using it for 5 years now.

on 8/19/2018 I will be 8 months post op and I am so grateful I made the decision to undergo gastric bypass. The journey post op started out with many regrets, but 92 lbs later and I am rejoicing. Started out with a 44.5 BMI and am now down to 29.6 HW:270 SW:265 CW:178 GW:160

You said you weren’t happy that your wife went forward with this from the beginning. Is it possible that you are unconsciously looking for physical changes in your wife to support that feeling? Maybe even a “I-told-you-so” feeling because you’re not happy with her appearance now or maybe because she proceeded with her surgery despite your feelings? I’ve come to accept what she has done… I don’t think you’ve accepted it at all. Why were you opposed to her decision to have this done in the first place? Is there something deep inside of you that resents her for having this surgery even though you were opposed to it? (I don’t know you, but some men have a problem with women making their own decisions, including decisions about their own bodies.) She used to be… she is now… she is starting to look… She also looks like…. These sound like mourning words. You’re in mourning for the body your wife used to have. I’m starting to worry… Starting? No, you're in full-blown worry mode, except it’s not really worry. I still think it’s mourning for what was. I’m afraid I’ve lost my wife… Afraid? No, in your mind you’ve lost her. But have you lost her? Really? Your wife is happy. And the doctor’s office doesn’t seem worried. His office pretty much ignores my concerns… Are you sure that they’re just disagreeing with you and not ignoring you? This surgery killed my aunt…. WLS is not a murderer with a sawed-off shotgun. Your aunt had a rare and unfortunate complication. I hope you didn’t bring up your aunt's complication as one of the reasons for not wanting your wife to have her surgery. Or did you? If I come across as terse, it’s only because men tend to understand things better when those things are presented bluntly or in black and white. Lastly, it’s only been 10 months. Your wife's body is still trying to find a happy balance. Has your sex life changed? Is that something you’re also unhappy about? (My husband has always enjoyed my big, soft body.) Please do not interpret anything I’ve said above as lecturing or patronizing because that is not my intent. This is just my take on things from a woman's point of view. Not every woman's point of view. Just mine. We're not all the same, you know. You sound like a loving and caring husband. No one here wants you to be unhappy, including me. Your wife, I’m sure, doesn’t want you to be unhappy. But guess what? It’s okay to be unhappy sometimes, except you need to figure out if your unhappiness and fears about your wife’s new body are rational or irrational. If they are irrational fears, and you still can’t come to terms with it all, maybe a therapist might help. Maybe joint therapy. And there is, of course, absolutely no shame in that. None.