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READY TO BE WEDDED TO YOUR BAND? On a humid May morning 37 years ago, after a four year courtship, I married my first husband. We exchanged our wedding vows in front of a Catholic priest, a Presbyterian minister, and 40 guests consisting of family and friends. We walked out of the church and into our married life with “until death do us part” in our young minds. Six years later, we divorced. Eventually each of us married again, this time to the right partner, and we’re all still happily married today. As the saying goes, practice makes perfect. It’s practice that will make your “marriage” to your adjustable gastric band perfect, or as perfect as any human endeavor can be. It’s important to know that when you wake up in the recovery room after your surgery, you won’t be magically endowed with all the knowledge, experience, and habits you’ll need to succeed with your band. Even if you did tons of research, faithfully attended every pre-op educational class, and listened closely to and made detailed notes of everything your bariatric team told you, some things – important things – you’ll have to learn through the everyday experience of living and eating with your band. When you leave the hospital or surgery center after your surgery, you probably won’t be headed for your honeymoon quite yet. That will come later, when you’ve had enough fills to achieve optimal restriction and you begin to feel that your band is really working. The excess weight will start coming off and you’ll walk around in a dreamy pink haze, delighted with your new life partner. You might even give your band a silly private pet name, the way my husband calls me “Love Bug” (which always makes me think of my first car, a chubby little Volkswagen Beetle). Then one day, the reality of banded life will wake you up. You’ll think, “Who is this creature I’ve married?” And like Jenny, a former coworker of mine, you’ll realize that while the engagement, wedding and honeymoon were exciting and fun, the day-after-day business of marriage isn’t exciting or fun 24 hours a day. It’s hard work. It’s boring. It’s frustrating. It’s humdrum. Jenny divorced her new husband after only three months of marriage not because she didn’t love him, but because she didn’t love being married to him. For many of us, being a wife isn’t nearly as fun as being a bride. One day you’re a smiling princess dressed up in flowers and lace; the next day you’re a haus frau frowning at the skid marks in your prince’s underwear. I suspect that Jenny just wasn’t old enough or mature enough to be a wife. Neither was I when I married the first time. One of the reasons most bariatric surgeons and insurance companies require a patient to have a pre-op psychological consult is to evaluate the patient’s understanding of what they’ll have to do to succeed after surgery. Are they ready for a lifetime commitment? Do they have reasonable expectations? Can they follow instructions? Are they capable of learning the new behaviors they’ll need for a productive, peaceful partnership with their band? HABIT FORMING New bandsters need dozens of new habits – something like 60-70% of my book Bandwagon is devoted to explaining those habits, so I’m not going to try to cram them all into a single article. I’ll pick one at random. Hmmm…how about EAT SLOWLY? How are you going to turn that behavior into a habit that will serve you well for the rest of your life? So Dr. McMillan tells you, “Eat slowly,” and you nod your assent while thinking, “Get real! I’m too busy to do anything slowly. I have 3 kids and 2 dogs, I work 2 jobs, I take care of my elderly Aunt Bertha, I coach my daughter’s softball team, I have a house to run and a spouse who’s always on the road…” Well, you get the idea. Dr. McMillan has just told you to do something that’s very simple and yet impossibly difficult, you think Dr. McMillan needs to wake up and smell the coffee, and a door in your mind slams shut. Actually, Dr. McMillan is already awake, has had a cup of coffee, has tended to all 10 of her dogs and all 3 of her cats, is about to leave for the fitness studio, and when she returns she will deal with a home renovation project while running her home-based publishing business off the kitchen table; tomorrow the fun will start all over again, including a 5-1/2 hour shift at her retail job and a trip to the supermarket. She’ll get someone to come look at the leaking French doors, do the laundry, pick another batch off ticks off the new dog, and cook several meals. Dr. McMillan’s friend Nina calls her the “Tennessee Tsunami”, and despite all that, Dr. M. still manages to eat slowly every time she sits down to a meal. As a pre-op, it took her maybe 5 minutes to hoover her way through a meal that would feed a farmhand, and now it takes her 5 minutes to chew her way through the first bite. But that EAT SLOWLY habit (or any other habit) didn’t become a habit for me overnight. It takes many, many repetitions to turn a new behavior into a habit (a British study found that it takes anywhere from 18 to 254 days of daily repetition to make a new behavior “automatic”). I know it’s a big challenge, especially when you’re also trying to learn a few dozen other new behaviors and turn all of them into habits while somehow conquering the dozens of bad habits you already had, but I assure you, it’s worth the effort. MIND OVER MATTER? Sometimes the biggest stumbling block in changing my behavior isn’t the behavior itself – it’s me and my stubborn, willful mind. I rarely have a valid reason to refuse a new, healthier behavior, whether it’s a small thing like putting my fork down while I chew each bite, or a bigger thing like always wearing seat belts in the car. My brain stomps its feet and cries, “I don’t WANT to do it!” I have to ease into the new behavior gradually, so that I don’t become overwhelmed and end up crying, “See, I TOLD you it wouldn’t work!” So although part of me knows that this is a huge, lifetime deal, I dole out the changes in small pieces, one day at a time, one hour at a time, one minute at a time. If I live as long as my mom did, I have another 32 years of eating ahead of me. I eat 6 times a day, 7 days a week, so if my arithmetic is correct (no guarantees there), I have another 69,888 meals to chew my way through. That is a truly mind-boggling number, so I’m tackling this task one meal at a time, and I suggest you do the same. I also suggest that you tackle one behavior at a time. Even simple things can become too complicated when you try to do them all at once. Last year, I bought a new cell phone. I hate the telephone and always have; as far as I’m concerned, cell phones are the work of the devil. I chose a phone with far more capabilities than my old one. It seemed like a dandy little gadget when the sales associate was demonstrating it, but when I’d had it a week, I had to return it because (as I told the puzzled 20 year-old who processed the return), I simply could not deal with a device that required me to hop on one foot while patting my head, rubbing my tummy, and singing the “Star Spangled Banner” in order to send an e-mail. So sitting down to each post-op meal trying to remember whether you’re supposed to hop, pat, rub, or sing is a set-up for failure. Better to pick out one new behavior as this week’s challenge. Next week, add another new behavior to your repertoire. The week after that, another one. During that time you’ll be repeating all the new behaviors as you slowly add new ones, and gradually the behaviors that were new become old…in other words, they become habit, and you won’t have to think about them much if at all. When I was a little girl, my mom had to remind me to brush my teeth every day, but eventually the tooth-brushing became an automatic part of my routine. If I were in a car accident (God forbid) and suffered a spine or brain injury that erased all my old habits (good and bad), I’d have to start it all over again. I’d probably festoon my house with reminder notes: BRUSH TEETH on the bathroom mirror; EAT SLOWLY on my placemat; FEED DOGS (well, maybe not – the dogs come complete with their own extremely reliable and audible meal reminder system). That’s a lot of work, I know, but the pay-off is enormous!

I didn't know anyone made a list! I am on it too. Twice actually. I had a twisted stricture. Same sort of treatment as a leak. Happylife. I was most unable to work for months. I dont know the total cost of treatment. Would be scared to even guess. The facility that did my surgery covered the costs. God bless them. I went from Aug 10/2011 to Dec 24/2011 without eating and at times keeping down only some liquids. Long periods no liquids either. I had 8 dilations, 4 operations, 2 feeding tubes through my noes, stent placement, and than removal from migration. Than I had a unheard of fix. Called Stictureplasty. After the Sleeve healed for a long period of time they cut the twisted stricture out and put the two parts of the sleeve back together. And crossed fingers for no leak. It worked! The reason I mention this to you is they told me if the scar tissue from the twisted stricture was soft chances would be better for no leak. As it is difficult to have scared tissue mend. Another thing is they gave me a J tube. It was a feeding tube that went directly into my tummy so that I didn't have to eat or drink while the revision surgery healed. I would do it all over believe it or not. I love my sleeve so much. For you it is a personal decision that only you can make. I wish you the best and happiness!

I have BCBS of Ky thru my husband employer AK Steel. My Dr office filed this morning with INS for final approval and by 10:30 I had a call from my Drs office. That's quick! Pre op appt next Thursday

I was sleeved 19/10/15 and I've bee absolutely dropping the weight with some pretty troubling side effects, but mostly doing ok. My dad is now made up that he's finally going to bite the bullet and also be sleeved. We've talked about it a fair bit and he's been put off by issues I've had. I've stuck on the path of this has really changed my life in so many ways and I don't regret it at all, although there's been negatives it's better than dying of a heart attack, and that it gives me the restriction I need to succeed. Dad hasn't been well. He's 170+ kgs and has had a few heart attacks. I'm not sure he'll make 60. He has lost up to 20kgs before on his own and is happy to exercise, but finds food restriction the hardest. We are both terrible coke drinkers. And fast food addicts. My surgeon operates locally but is mainly at another hospital 50 mins away. I went to him because originally I was considering bypass and the local one didn't do bypass. Do you think it's better to stick to someone we know or try another person? I didn't like that he wasn't contactable when I had a problem with my sutures, another thing that put dad off. Also I'm young, Dad isn't. For me it's been about getting to enjoy my life before it passes me by and to be healthy for my daughter. Dad doesn't mind being fat. He does love food though. Any over 45's have anything to offer? Any help I can get would be appreciated. I don't want to loose my Dad, and Idont want him to be scared.

I have not had a leak from a sleeve but I had a very serious lapband erosion (nearly killed me). Since then I am trying to get sleeved and have been keeping track of folks who have had complications in case I need their help in the future. Below is the list. You might want to contact them directly if you have any questions. Started May 1, 2011 1. Sandyd – infection from surgery (Reno) (VS Talk) 2. MeMeMEEE – leak (twice) (VS Talk) 3. Driver63 – leak 4. Tiffykins – leak (band revision) 5. Hansi – stomach ruptured 6. Dishdiva – leaks (Mexico) 7. YellowRose – infected incision (Mexico) & drain tube infection 8/5/11 8. Mommyinneed – seroma turned abscess (Mexico) 9. Sexypeaches33 – pancreatitis (Mexico) then gastritis 10. DivaDee84 – Infected incision (Mexico) leak (still @ seven months) 11. Honeyrubybee – splenic infarction 12. TKDBlackbelt15 (fiancee) – leak 13. Rblessed – leak 14. Jen Jen – leak (Mexico) 15. Ladiesassie – nicked liver (didn’t follow pre-op diet) 16. Moore37042 – leak 17. Jagator88 – leak & esophagus was destroyed and had to be rebuilt from muscle (Mexico) 18. Jsfound – leak (VS Talk) 19. Leisa815 – leak (VS Talk) 20. Jasleeve – leak 21. Joseph – leak Kuwait (VS Talk) 22. Peachqueen – leak (VS Talk) 23. Jcarelle – leak (VS Talk) 24. Jerseygirl74 – leak & spleen infarction (VS Talk) 25. Happylife – stricture (had a stent like a leak) (VS Talk) 26. Kookia – leak (VS Talk) 27. Nanaof5 – spleen infarction (VS Talk) 28. Jencomenz – spleen infarction (VS Talk) 29. Honeybunnyslp – spleen infarction (VS Talk) 30. Neese – spleen infarction (VS Talk) 31. Bedhead – erosion (ulcer) caused by an infection (VS Talk) 32. Donniej – leak (band revision) (VS Talk) 33. DogBone (wife’s cousin) – leak, tracheostomy, induces coma (Brazil) DIED 34. 4ALongerLife – leak 35. Minaleigh – twisted stomach, needed a stent 36. Mews – infected incision and blood clot 37. Laura74 – (husband, OH) stomach started to close up so had a stent (stricture?) 38. Victoria28 – leak (ThinnerTimes) 39. Happylife – twisted stricture (VS Talk) 40. P77tmy – blood clots (VS Talk) 41. CrazyCatLady – blood clot (VS Talk) 42. Karlij – leak (Obesity Help) 43. 1maryreigel – swollen 44. Gigglee – open wound? Vst 45. Twistedkitten25 – internal bleeding and abscess 46. Shane5958 – blood abscess 47. Cookies – blood clot 48. Wendyr – spleen infarction, leak, pneumonia (punctured lung when placing drain for leak) 49. Stephwb – leak 50. Irishgirlparisi – UTI (foley catheter) & MRSA from JP tube (Thinner Times) 51. Heidi P – leak (Obesity Help) 52. Moxy – leak (Obesity Help) 53. Cthompson580 – leak (Obesity Help) 54. Jsd2 – very sick also had blood clots, heart palpitations (VS Talk) 55. Abbybeep – stricture w/in first five days (VS Talk) 56. Lulugirl – bacterial infection & possible stricture (VS Talk) 57. Ready2Bthin – acid refluc & wasn’t able to get protein/vitamins in, developed problem w/balance & walking (VS Talk) 58. RawrrAshleex3 – leak (VS Talk) 59. Candice1222 – leak (VS Talk) 60. Cat_woman – leak (Obesity Help)

Your welcome! Start tomorrow....it's November 1st. I lost 10 pounds postop on liquid diet, in 6 DAYS! Keep reminding yourself that you WILL eat real food again soon!

I have thyroid problems and it has been an up hill battle to lose weight. I lose 10-15 lbs at the most and then stall...still trying though! I see the psych next week and also the surgeon not sure what is next but I hope with in the next two-three months to see a surgery date.

I was sleeved on 2/19/13 and I am down 27lbs as well. It is possible to lose weight with hypothyroidism. )

I had a toxic goiter and radioactive iodine to remove mine in 2012. Whether my thyroid levels are too low or too high, I gain weight. I'm weird that way! I had my sleeve surgery 8/22/12. My highest weight was 265. It was 249 day of surgery and 221 this morning, so I'm losing at a steady 10 pounds a month, and I'm happy with that. I am on 150mcg levothyroxine right now and I've never had to crush my pills. My doctor said anything the size of an m&m or smaller is fine to swallow.

My dr said no hot tub for the first week to 10 days after surgery so I'm guessing after that it would be fine. I'm sure if you are healed from your surgery the hot tub would be fine.

I felt the same way after my surgery. I was banded 1-4-10. I couldn't believe I had actually gone through with it. I am losing weight though which was my goal. I am thankful I had the courage to see it through. Seeing the scale move every few days is awesome. I haven't even had my first fill yet. I can't wait to see the band in action in my life.

yes , I had SILB on 6/9/10 , I had very little pain and my recovery was amazing , didn't have any problems, I was a little uneasy with it when my surgeon told me that she would be using a single incision type lapband surgery, but afterwards i was very happy with her decision, because you heal quicker and you have less complications.

Chewing slowly will happen after you've gotten stuck a time or two. Aversion therapy truly works! Taking a few sips while you eat isn't going to hurt anything. The thing you don't want to happen is putting so much liquid into your pouch that you aid your stomach in emulsifying the food so that it empties quickly. However, with a band, the food empties pretty fast anyway, as our pouches grind. My surgeon doesn't have a problem with me having a bit of liquid with a meal. He did say that I might not have room for it, and once I got to good restriction was he ever right! If I drink with a meal now, it is likely to cause me to get stuck and urp. So, even if I have a glass of something sitting there, I tend to avoid it due to the countless times that I have taken a drink only to immediately regret the decision. About 10 minutes after a meal I can tell that my pouch has cleared and I can safely sip something without tragic consequence.

Happy! I know right were your coming from... I gained 16 at one point (up to 22).... I have it off now, and am one pound from goal. I basically did the same as you.... stopped paying attention, stopped the gym (I had an injury...) had company for almost 10 weeks (can you say happy hour?) I got back on track, and tried a couple of plans, gained 6 more pounds on one of those plans, then finally got on the 5:2... and have lost it all from there. (you know most of us that follow the 5:2 still count calories on "feast" days) Thats how it works. And back to activity, weighing every am and putting everything I eat in MFP 95% of the time....even if its pure crap... seeing the calories of that ice cream for myself is a great motivator. You can do it, and the time is NOW.

I don't know if you have seen posts from GamerGirl on here, but she and her husband were sleeved the same day by the same doctor. They each had different pre-op diets and other requirements. I didn't have to do a pre-op diet, have any pre-op tests, see a psychologist, do a bowel prep. I only had about a month between initial consult and surgery. My surgeon says you don't need a pre-op diet if you weigh under 100 kg and I was 98 at the initial consult. I didn't have drains or a catheter. Heck, I didn't have a catheter after my hysterectomy either, only my knee surgery. I was cleared to take non-chewable pills on the day of surgery and cleared to drink coffee in the hospital. The sleeve surgery is not the same as it was 5 or 10 years ago when Sleevers and bypass patients had the same pre-op and post-op protocols. Surgical tools and techniques have evolved. Sleeve surgery is faster and safer than it has ever been. Surgeons have more data to draw on. Some surgeons will be more conservative in their methods than others. With all of that, there is no point comparing your surgery to someone else's. You each chose your surgeon for a reason and each surgeon gave you a protocol for a reason.

I am going to precursor this post with the fact that I do understand every surgeon/hospital/ practice has different requirements when it comes to WLS. But I am just stunned at HOW different sometimes!!! One of my very BFFs in the world ( since high school) was sleeved yesterday. His process has been entirely different than mine and it astounds me. He did not have all the extensive pre op testing before approval as I did, but he had to do several classes with NUT. ( I only saw NUT once. She was satisfied with my knowledge and my insurance didn't require anything but NUT approval) My friend didn't even have a scope done to check the esophagus down to stomach, just an upper GI. My upper GI missed a small hernia that was found via the scope. ( but was so small they didn't repair) His pre op diet included food ( two Lean Cuisines or the like a day for 7 days ) while mine was full liquids for ten days. He did not have to do any bowl prep pre op, although he had food up until the evening before surgery. ( I did no bowl prep due to liquid diet for 10 days) He does not have a drain tube and there was no catheter used during surgery. And he just told me he already was given custard this morning to eat!!!!!!!!!! Seriously? I could barely sip a few ounces of apple juice two days post op, let alone eating anything the next day. Now I know my body reacted much differently than his from anesthesia and so on, but wow. ( I had severe nausea and vomiting, he hasn't had any of that) And the other thing...I was in the hospital from 8am on Monday until about 4:30pm Wednesday. He said he is supposed to be released today. His whole process seems so rushed and weird to me. I wouldn't trade the experience I had for the world. I loved the hospital I used and the staff was awesome. I guess I am biased to it. I try hard to keep my opinions to myself because I do not want to "step on his moment" in any way. This is just as big of an event for him as it was for me so I do not want to be a negative Nelly. But I am certainly having opinions about how different things have been for him. I truly just want him to be healthy and happy.

I've started the process, but I think I have a long way to go before I'm approved and scheduled for surgery. I'll be using my health insurance, so I have way more hoops to jump through to get on that operating table. I'm 32 and single, and have been overweight my whole life. In the past 5 or 6 years, my weight has gone far beyond what I thought would be my max. I have over 200 lbs to lose, and my trigger to choose surgery was being diagnosed with high blood pressure. I've kinda kept blinders on about my weight problem because I was otherwise healthy. All my tests would come back normal, my bp was actually low, but now age (I know, only 32, but there's a difference between a 20 year old fat girl and a 32 year old fat girl!!) and my skyrocketing weight is catching up to my health. I don't want to become diabetic. I don't want to have high cholesterol. Despite the obvious weight issues, I also mentioned I'm single, I'm also childless. I feel like I'm at a crossroads that if I ever want to have a child, I need to do something about my weight. At this weight, I couldn't likely conceive a child or have a healthy pregnancy. Nevermind the fact that I can't catch a decent man these days! Even if I chose adoption, I am in no physical condition to chase after a child. Even if I never have a child, I do want to have a better quality of life. My weight has caused depression, major self esteem issues, has contributed to my lack of relationships or my own family, and now it's impacting my health in a measurable way. I've simply had ENOUGH and honestly, I'm already kicking myself that I didn't get this process started 10 years ago. I wish you luck! I'm glad you joined the board, I learned loads from this site and it's helped me make this choice.

I was banded on July 10. Went for pretest was told I had an abnormal ekg. Went two days later and had stress test everything was fine. They said next ekg would probably be abnormal to

I too am 10 years out. I was getting hungry, gained about 35-40 lbs. then, I started watching some documentaries about our food supply like "food, Inc.", "Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead" ....all on Netflix. Anyway, it changed everything . I bought a Vitamix, and now I 'drink' 6-8 servings of fruits and veggies 5-7 days per week in green smoothies. I lost 40 lbs and have kept it off for over a year...I don't crave a lot of the stuff I used to, and don't count calories or anything like that. My weight before gastric bypass was 344, and I hover around 176-182 now, which is just where I want to be. Best wishes!!

I have never measured. Wish I had. I just use sizes to measure. I have gone from and 18/20 pants to 10 or 11 pants now. XXL shirts to L. My boobs are rather large so I'm not sure I will ever get below a Med. But will shall see! Congratulation on all of your successes!!! Proud to be on such a wonderful site with a great group of amazing people!

Of course I might just be over thinking everything because I'm a paranoid freak BUT I have been having some "symptoms" recently and I'm not sure if I should worry. I had my surgery a week ago, Nov 5th. and I feel fine for the most part but I notice when I walk straight for more than 10-15 minutes I begin to feel short or breath, dizzy, and EXHAUSTED!! I've been trying to call my doc but it seems because of the holiday nobody is in so any suggestions/ideas would be appreciated! By the way I do admit I can be drinking more water but if I'm not drinking water I make sure to replace it with a Popsicle or other clear liquid... Thank You!

I had about 10 spree tart candies this evening..just a confession...they were delicious...I'm gonna blame pms..hopefully my body will accept that bit of sugar graciously and put an end to this stall already.

I had surgery 1/10/12, follow up was 1/16/12, and I started ZuMbA on on the 19th. (Yes my Dr. cleared me). I of course started out making major modifications as to be safe and feel "ok" while doing it. Now I'm full on for the most part. Absolutely LOVE it! I just started, so don't really have a weightloss correlation to tell you about, but I'll let you know!

44 lbs from my highest weight. I weigh in again on Wednesday, but in 10 days, I had lost 29lbs after my sleeve. It is exciting!!!! Thanks everyone!!! I have a few of the single packets of unjury, the chocolate Splendor is my fav, but I'd love to try the strawberry Sorbet! The chicken Soup mix they have is so terrible!!! Blech!!!!

I'm stalled right now and its killing me!!! Its been 10 days since the scale has moved. I'm trying not to get freaked out about it but my inclination is to want to "go on a diet". The whole reason I had the surgery was because obsessive dieting was ruling my life. I really wanted to let go of all that. I would like to eat protien veggies fruit and complex carbs, in that order. After that I just want to trust the sleeve... let go of my obsessive need to diet. I'm sure others feel differently.... they just want to loose the weight and get it over with. That makes sense too, I guess it depends on factors like your reason for having surgery, what your particular mal adaptive thinking patterns are (if any), your BMI, the amount of cravings you have...... etc. Stacey