general_antiope

All normal feelings! Breathe It is today. Tomorrow is coming.

The rearview mirror is my best friend. I'm always consulting it, flicking between the road ahead and what has just passed. For me, I'm obsessed with understanding and learning. I never take "I don't know" as an answer. There ARE no mysteries, there is always a reason. Maybe we don't understand it at the time, but that's what rearview mirrors are for; they are the teacher's answer key. And the more I know, the better I get. So here I am one week from getting my band replaced and am glancing at the rearview of my band failures and successes. I feel very different than the first time I was banded, and it's made even clearer by the new people I am befriending here on LBT. All the questions and the anxiety and the excitement, it's like looking at a photograph. It makes me smile and I'm probably more excited for their journey than they are, knowing what's coming. I want to be a good leader, a great example, and most of all I want to not repeat my own mistakes (for I am still a human leader). I wasn't perfect on the band like many others I see. I have a food addiction. And the first step in anything is owning up to your misses. I remember the first few months with the "magic fill" - I was a kid in a candy store, eating cookies and ice cream or high fat stuff. I would MARVEL that literally, two squares of a Hershey's bar would satisfy me. I would fold up the candy bar and put it in my desk drawer. I'd open the drawer just to look at it and boggle at the fact that I didn't WANT it, and I could say no. That never, ever happened to me. I destroy food like Godzilla with a hangover. I would sneak ice cream as a 7 year old when my mom was in the shower. The taste of food was unparalleled joy, all the time. And I enjoyed my bad food for a while when I was newly banded, because I had power over food for the first time in my life. I did eventually get too cocky and the band would interrupt a nice dinner I'd made or purchased, and all the food was put away because I had to PB, or just felt awful. Try having something stuck on a date....ruins the mood. I needed to go through that embarrassment and wake up call to get back in balance. Play time was over, it was time to work. Then I got in line with the band; roasting chicken thighs and carrots for dinner, portioning things out. Talking more with whomever I was with and letting food fall to the background. I never felt deprived because my food choices were just that - MY choices. It was so empowering I cannot even describe it. I literally felt like a normal person because my relationship with food was changing. This time around, I'm not even interested in bad food, or the permission to have it in small quantities. I have tasted normal sized clothing, I have tasted normal relationships with food, and I absolutely hate where I am now. I'm 40 lbs less than my heaviest, but I feel worse than I ever have. For 6 months now I've been heavy (half the time with a baby...the last 2 months of pregnancy were awful!) or healing from a c section, and lugging around more fat with sleep deprivation. I used to feel GREAT! I want to feel GREAT again. The band makes me feel GREAT because I feel in control. I am out of control now. And rereading my past entries, I fought and fought for stability with a constantly failing band and a less than ideal mindset. I am blessed and lucky to have a second chance. I'm not squandering it. Open eyes, looking ahead and behind, changing the bad and repeating the good. It's not all daisies on the journey, but yeah, when you get there, it's a freakin' field of flowers

I know how you feel! Being worried is good - there is so much to learn after the surgery, and your experience will be different in some ways than anyone else's. It's a new relationship. You're getting married You said "I will" to the band and it's going to hold you to it. I'm really looking forward to watching everyone's evolution.

I've learned that the Groups area does not work on mobile or iPad apps, so that helped

Updated!

Yeah!!!!

Hi Alex, I'm finding it a little confusing to navigate the site and thought I'd ask for shortcuts or other ways people use LBT. I looked under the help topics (the forum) and could not find what I am looking for. For example, what are the different ways I can: 1. Review responses to posts (anything other than "notifications"? is there a "view replies" link or something else that shows by topic?) 2. Quickly get to the group view. (also, is there a faster way to get to the Group Discussion view? The default view of a group has one at the news page, and people don't realize they can post topics if they click on "Group Discussion." How do we more quickly land there instead of lots of clicking?) Many thanks! kate

Thanks Alex. Related question, didn't want to start a new topic....Is there a Group Management primer? I have a few people that say there is no join button but when i go to look at the settings, its set to Public and I can't figure out why they are members if they didn't join. Any documentation on the group section here? Im a veteran administrator and developer for community boards (phpbb is my flavor) so Im familiar with the techie stuff. You can talk nerdy to me

Apparently I have the group set to public - you're listed as a full member. You should be able to browse and reply.

Can't wait to hear all about it!

Yeah go us!! One more week Abbie, I hear great things about Dr Kurian. My pre op diet is different (7 days liquid) but I'm getting rebanded so I wonder if that's why? I'd love to have solid veggies! Maybe it varies by surgeon, Dr Ren had me on this diet 8 years ago, too. Yeah it IS hard!

Hi there - when I am on the mobile app (I use iPhone) I see the threads of the group I created (February 2013 Bandsters) but when clicking on the topic I get a permission error that I am not authorized. Ideas?

Gorgeous!

Good point. Band date is a great idea. So since I've been banded for 8 years and am about to get rebanded, can I ask for access still?? I'm not at goal, but I know what I'm doing. Just looking for support and community. I was too isolated the first time around.

I also find this site difficult to navigate. I've been administering boards for 15 years now, and am praying there's an easier way I can share with you all

Crystal, you reminded me about an outfit I bought when I went through this the first time, a large T shirt I liked (normal sized) and size 14 pants. I did get into them once I lost the weight! Funny thing was, by the time I got into them, I didn't care about the outfit anymore cause I'd found cuter outfits by then, LOL! What was "cool" to me before the journey and after was different. But my priorities had changed, too, anyway... I'm going to look around for a few goal outfits. I'm currently in 18/20's on top and bottom, maybe I'll get some 12's and 10's so I keep going. Dave, my surgeon also told me to get PROPEL sports drink. It has electrolytes and low sugar, and is good for helping to heal right after surgery.

My insurance approved the rebanding, my doc just signed my medical clearance yesterday, and Monday I go to NYU for pre op testing with the hospital (3 hrs away). I start my 7 day liquid diet on Monday, too. I'm actually getting sick of eating. My DH is "dieting" with me, so we've been kinda eating crap the last few days, and I'm looking forward to detoxing. I don't feel good!

Woo hoo!! Updated the first post with our surgery dates. Welcome new people! Please let me know if anything changes or if I got something wrong

If you click on Group Discussion from the right navigation, it will take you to the topic view. There you can "Start Topic." horrible layout. gonna see if i can customize it.

Thanks, can_do!

Great job!

Pinning this topic, as I may add to it as I figure out more. TO POST A TOPIC: In the Group Navigation --> click on "Group Discussion" to see all our threads. You should be able to post from there.

If anyone is having trouble joining he Feb 2013 Bandsters group here on LBT, message me and I'll invite you! Wow, one more week until Feb is here. I go for pre op testing on Monday and today my PCP is signing my clearance form. I am so excited

Hi folks, I've got someone who is clicking "join group" but nothing is happening. Has anyone run into this problem, how did you fix it? How did you join the group?Thanks!

Sara, trust your doc Come check out our Feb Bandsters group http://www.lapbandtalk.com/groups/show/124-february-2013-bandsters/