Sportsbabe

I have been heavy all my life.  From elementary years when my mom promised to pay me $1.00 for every pound I lost to trying everything from starving myself to optifast to weight watchers.  As an adult my mother started finally to lose weight and she shared with me after a long while what she was doing which was weight watchers.  I joined and eventually reached my goal but my goal was so low it took me doing the wrong things to finally reach it and be able to stay there.  I was hired by weight watchers at a lecturer and worked for them for 8 years.  At the time the owner of the franchise weighed each lecturer in each month and if you were over your goal she would advise you to wear black this month or tell you she thought you were taller than you had put on your card so she'd raise your goal weight so you'd be able to maintain.  Eventually I felt like such a hypocrite standing in front of people each week telling them what to do and struggling myself.  I finally told WW I had to leave and take care of myself, they told me I'd never be back if I did.  I never went back.  I struggled and struggled.  My husband wouldnt tell me if there was a work event because he was ashamed to take me and I was a lot less than I am now.  Well..I got divorced and wham, lost the weight.  Started dating and found a wonderful man, got married and the ex reared his ugly head.  After several court proceedings I found myself gaining again, then my husband got sick and I ate.  I had never thought of myself as a mood eater, I always said I ate because I was happy, sad, the sun was shinning, it was raining, it really didnt matter.  I just love food.  Well I now know I eat for reasons.  I am so hoping this comes to fruition, I am putting my hopes in this.  I have been to the surgeon, I am one month from finishing my 6 month eating plan with my doctor and getting ready to make an appt for the next step.  I pray my insurance company approves my surgery.  I love my husband and he didnt get in this marriage with me like this.  I dont like myself like this at all.  He hasnt said a word about my weight, he doesnt have to, I do it to myself.  I am at the point where my health is really bothering me, and I cant do the things I used to do.  I am still young and have too many years to do things that are fun but just being able to live my life healthy and not worry if tomorrow I might have a stroke or can tie my shoes or not.A girl at work had this done and she has been such an inspiration.  You go girl!!!