JeweI

I can't believe my last blog had so many views and comments. Thank you all for taking time out of your day to encourage me.

I had a fitness and nutrition appt today. The fitness appt was just 15 min and she gave me some strength training excercises to do but didn't talk to me at all about cardio. She did mention that I would need to build up some muscle to fill in the skin. I kinda felt gipped from the appt though. We didn't talk at all about how much and how often I am to do these excercises and it was the same excercises she gives everyone. It just felt impersonal. The nutrition appt was alot of info. It was an hour long. She was teaching me and this other guy at the same time. Thankfully I only have 2 days of clear liquids preop. I have seen some of you have 2 weeks. Wow. She said the low carb diet will shrink my liver just as well as a liquid diet so they don't require it. She gaves us list of good, bad and inbetween foods.

I am just surprised at myself for going through with this. I feel like I am letting go of who I used to be (an allstar athlete) and admitting I am not that person anymore. I have mommy gut and married butt. My body is scarred by the life I have lived. On the flipside though I can change things. I can be a Milf lol jk. I can be a mommy who lost the gut and a wife who lost the butt. Claim victory over my body again. Plus the psych class I am taking has shown Me I still think I am living in the glory days. I have to just admit This was a sad place to be. Now, I am taking my first step outta here. Before I know it my thirties will really be the new twenties. I learned from 2 different psychologist that just invisioning yourself achieving your goals puts you at a greater advantage of achieving them.

So, Here it is, Graduation day. I am walking across the stage in the auditorium, proud, NOT the least bit anxious, I have earned my diploma and am now officially a nurse. I have a ton of friends and family cheering me on because not only did I shed the weight I have shed the fear of talking to new people. I stand up now to give a validictorian speech. (By then I hope I will have learned to spell it correctly). For the first time I will address the crowd without crying out of fear. I am proud of who I have become, outgoing, energetic, joyful, fullfilled, genuine (no more holding back tears and faking a smile). This will be the new me.

Those of you who wanna take this step with me leave a comment about who you will be in two or three years. I have used this technique to acommplish many things. I used to be so ill I couldn't even drive. Now I drive, have a family and attend school. Despite still being ill.

Here's to a life well spent.

Sorry things went so bad. I use to think the world of my MIL too. Now I am just disappointed in her. I don't want her to know I am getting a lapband either because she will be loudly against it. She lives with us though so I know she is going to find out. I am just delaying it as much as possible. I am so tired of her "opinions".

I am new to the site but am willing to be a support buddy with you. I just decided to get the lap band a few weeks ago and have my second appt tommorow with the office nutritionist and with a fitness person. In the last few weeks I have lost 3 pounds and I am scheduled for banding on Jan 4. I use to weigh myself several times a day. Finally my doc told me to get rid of my scale. Just a few weeks ago my MIL (who lives with us) bought one to replace it. I feel myself getting back into the habit of weighing myself. Let me know if you wanna be buddies.

Don't get down on yourself. You have done a great thing by losing 99 pounds. Celebrate that. Don't blame yourself for being down after surgery. If a man turns away from you because he doesn't like how you look naked then was he really in love with you to begin with? I have hanging skin too, but I focus on other assests. We all get in a funk too so don't feel like you can't have your moment too. Just don't stay in the funk too long.

Well I had given up on losing weight. The more I excercised the more I ate and the fatter I got. Maybe it's all the medicine I am on. What I do know Is I am exhausted all the time. It is such a battle getting up in the morning and staying awake all day. Doc says it is metabolic syndrome making me tired. He recommended I get a lap band and boy was I pissed off. I know I am fat but am I so fat I need a band. After a few days I realized YES, I am. I've done all I can do on my own and I never invisioned losing all the weight just some of it. That was until I met my weightloss surgeon and his staff (who are also bandsters). Then I could actually see myself thin. Now when I see food I want I remind myself I don't want that food as much as I want to be thin, awake, healthy, vibrant. So I decided to do it and the hope I had given up is back again. I know it will still be hard work but I also know my work won't be in vain. I have already begun the work and lost 3 pounds. Here's to a life well spent.