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enjoylife's Journal

A blog by enjoylife in General

  • Entries

    28

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    56

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    4607

About this blog

This is what I go through, think, feel, and think I know...

Entries in this blog

A New Fill - A New Resolve

Yesterday was a fill day. I am going to make this my last fill. This is the fill that will get me to Onderland. I weighed in this morning at 232.8 and I know for a fact that my scale is two pounds off so I am actually 230.8. So this fill has to help me lose at least 31.8 pounds. My goal was to be in Onderland by July 4, 2010. That’s 10 lbs a month including this month. I really tried to be 220-something by March 24, 2010 (my two year bandiversary). Well, obviously I was not successful with that.

Ready or Not, Here I Come!!!!!

Well here I am. Back in the 230’s and would you know I am not happy? Heck I was 233 last June. I am 236-8 now. I’ve recently been as low as 234, but can’t seem to stay there. I am coming up on my two year bandiversary. I thought that by now I would be much smaller. I had major surgery last June and it took a lot out of me physically because my recovery was long, painful, and hard. I’m glad that I did it though. I am so much better off than I was before. I can move around and I don’t need any a

Right Now... Honesty Sucks!!!

It’s possible that no man will ever see me naked again. I have been celibate for seven years now. This is by choice, but now I think I am stuck. Seven years is a long time – those youthful years are gone and I won’t get them back. In that time I let myself balloon into a 332 blob of fat. Then in March 2008 I got the band. I lost 99 pounds – but had major surgery this summer and gained 27 lb back:scared2::blushing:. Hopefully that will go away as soon as I start moving again. Although I look fair

I?m sorry baby, but i just don?t want you anymore. It?s not you ? it?s me

I am soooo close!!! I’m sitting here, and sometimes standing over there and I am staring right at it! I mean I can almost touch it… it’s mocking me. It’s saying, “If you want me come get me. “ I want it. I mean I want it sooo bad that I can really feel it. It knows this – that I want it. It also knows that this want though extremely strong is also fleeting. Once I get it, I won’t want it anymore. In this aspect I am just like a man. As long as there is a chase (a hunt) for it, then I will pursue

Monday, April 27, 2009

This morning I weighed in .25 lb heavier. I can’t even say that I’m upset. I mean it’s that time (sorry guys) and I usually gain then. I did not sit on my butt this past weekend so I’m ok. Of course if I don’t see some weight loss next Monday, I won’t be so chipper about it. I have yet to exercise, but I have been doing lots of house work. I just moved into my new home and I have so much work to do! I hate it, but it’s a necessary evil. Today I am going out into the yard and pick up sticks, bran

On Respecting My Band...

I have got to learn to respect my band. Yesterday I could not keep anything down. I mean nothing (not even water!!!) well I was able to keep a Butterfinger candy bar down:blushing:, but dammit I was hungry!!! The night before I threw up and I think it was because I didn’t properly chew up a few brussel sprouts. When it can back up there were a few whole leaves in there. I should have known at that point that I would need to take it easy for a day, but not me. Sometimes I’m a pig :eek: – but this

5/20/08 The Day After the Seond Fill!!!

WARNING – this might get gross and will definitely be long….:thumbdown: Be very careful of what you ask for – you just might get it. My goodness, I just posted that that yesterday and already I have been blasted twice. Here’s the real kicker – I wanted restriction – oh boy do I have restriction. I may be too tight. I have no clue how to determine this. Yesterday I got 2ccs added to my band. That makes for a total of 5cc in a 14cc band. My surgeon said, “If this doesn’t do the trick, the next

5/19/08 - The Day of the Second Fill

I am scheduled for fill #2 today. It was originally scheduled for the 21st, but my surgeon added another surgery so the office had to change my appointment. I'm not complaining; I would want someone to change their fill date so that I could get the band. I'm just glad that it was moved up instead of further away. I seem to be stuck. I am hungry. When I'm hungry I eat. I try not to eat too much, but I'm not one of those people that can walk around hungry. My stomach has a notorious growl - its so

I put this on March 2008 Bandsters' Master Thread but

it belongs here... so I hope this isn't considered cheating.. this is how I feel so this is my blog. First of all, let me say why I post in large print. I have 15/20 vision, but I work on a computer all day long. Reading the 10 point font size prints drive me nuts. In addition I cannot Zoom my screen size at home. So, to compensate I use 12 point font. It just appears bigger than 12 online. Whew, I’m glad I got that off my chest. I hope you all don’t mind. Second, I’d like to personally

In Need of a Nap and Other Stuff...

I am so tired I could just lay down here at my desk and go to sleep right now:blink:. My energy level is at an all time low. Today is Friday; I have until Monday to be on all liquids. I hope I make it that long. I'm taking my vitamins. I do a B12 and a tablespoon of liquid centum every morning. Should I be doing more? I may need to double that dose today because I am really whipped. I have to attend a housewarming luncheon tomorrow. I am so not looking forward to that. Everybody around me will

Scale Obssession

If I wake up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom I weigh myself. In the morning, before I brush my teeth, I weigh myself. When I come home from work, I weigh myself. I have to tell myself not to weigh myself every other time that I walk into my bathroom. I am going crazy chasing behind my scale. I stand on it at least two - three times every time I weigh myself. I need help. I need an intervention. Should I remove the scale from my house:tongue_smilie:? I should put it in the shed

One Week and One Day

That's how long I have been banded. I am at work right now. I am so tired I could throw a temper tantrum. I'm a little dizzy and in a little pain:crying:. I just took some liquid Tylenol - a single dose to help me get through this day. I get off work at 3:35. It's 11:40 right now. As soon as I can I'm putting my head on my desk and sneaking a nap. Think I may start taking my liquid vitamins twice a day until I get back on track. I think I'm supposed to be doing that anyway. The liquid diet is st

Getting Better Everday

I have not posted in a few days. I actually have been sort of busy. Today is my 7th day being banded. I feel ok. I had one day of wanting to chew for the sake of chewing. I definitely was not hungry. I have yet to break the 500 calorie mark. I drink unjury and put it in my soup, I don't really care for the taste of either the chocolate or the vanilla, but they will do. The unflavored one mixes well into my soups. I may try it in juice tomorrow. The pain is subsiding. That's good becasue my pai

This morning was hard....

I woke up at 5:00 in pain. I just felt awful:crying:. I cannot even describe what it feel like. Well let me try. I felt overly full, stuffed beyond capacity. Tight and bloated. I could not lay, sit, or stand comfortable. Then I felt the urge to go to the bathroom. Of course all I produced was dark dark watery stuff, but at least it cam out. Then when i tried to lay down again it didn't hurt so much. But the pain was still in kill mode. I decided to take a double dose of the liquid Tylenol. I hav

Banded Yesterday

I was banded yesterday. When I woke up in recovery all I could think was "Thank you Jesus." I don't know if I actually said it, but I know I thought it over and over again. The pain was horrible of course, but I was so happy to be alive. I wanted to see my baby because she was so upset right before they wheeled me away. I wasn't allowed to eat or drink anything yesterday. I have to say that I wanted to put something in my mouth. Whether that was from hunger or habit I cannot say. Today, no break

Aggravating

I posted a really long blog this morning and of course it is not here. I was expressing my fears and concerns regarding my surgery which is in two days. I love this site. I visit often, but sometimes the glitches are enough to make me want to use profanity. I mean damn. Its not easy coming on here to say I'm afraid I may not awake from surgery. I know its a relativley safe procedure. I know this, but I also knowthere is a POSSIBILITY of a problem. I am paranoid I know. I believe that all willbe

Monday Was a Beast but I'm Glad I Did It

I did alot on Monday, March 17th. First I got up and dressed my sleeping five year old. I did this because we had to leave earlier than usual and I wanted my baby to get as much rest as possible. Then I dropped my baby off at the school's day care. I had to be at my doctor's appt at 7:30 am. Of course I got there late and I had to wait for another patient, who apparently was there on time to be seen. Then I spoke with a Physician's Assistant student for - hmm 20 minutes before I spoke with my do

I Got Approved!!!!!!!!

I'm happy dancing all over the place! :tt2::confused_smile::lol:I finally got approval for surgery. I have a PPO so I really did not need insurance approval to have the surgery, but the approval is good because it was approved as MEDICAL surgery opposed to COSMETIC:thumbup:. Can you believe it? Who gets a bunch of incisions in their stomach as a cosmetic improvement? I am actually not looking forward to the scars. Pre Caesarean my stomach was pretty hot:biggrin:! I didn't even get stretch mark

Is This a Sign or What?

Maybe I shouldn't be getting the band. I have a surgery date of March 20, 2008. My information was sent to the insurance company on Dec. 5, 2007. After a month :wink: of reviewing they said I need two more clearances - cardiac and pulmonary. Ok, that makes sense. I get those. My last appointment was on Feb 13, 2008. On Feb 22, 2008 I call the surgeon to make sure they have everything, and its a good thing I did because they don't have the pulomonology clearance. I call the pulmonologist - my cle

Reposting sucks

I wrote a post about my pulmonary function test, but I guess its gone.:rolleyes2: Oh well, that's the price you pay for progress and updates. anyway, I had my PFT. It was a blast - pun intended. Sitting in an office and wrapping my mouth around a wide plastic short tube:ohmy: was not comfortable. Blowing my breath out until I felt like my lungs would collapse was even less fun. Taking four pulls on an inhaler - now that was just plain nasty:confused_smile:. I feel for anyone that has to use an

Can you read me now?

This is size 4 This is size 3 This is size five:eek: I have decided that I will not be submitting anymore entries with tiny writing. Nobody wants to read that crap - and only a few probably can! :rolleyes2: so I'll look assnd decide what I like 3, 4, or 5. Which do you prefer?

It takes Patience and Fortitude

My paperwork was submitted on December 5th. It took over a month for them to say, "We need more information." To be specific, they want cardiac and pulmonary clearance. I almost immediately set up an appointment with a cardiologist. I'm glad I went to see him. It was very kind, yet straightforward. Apparently my fist sized heart has been working over time pumping blood through my Mac truck sized body. My left ventricle is slightly enlarged. No need for panic or alarm - just the realization that

I left this as a comment for someone - I thought she needed it. Anyone else need

Rules for 2008 Make realistic goals for yourself, write them down, pray about them and try to achieve them!   Go through your cell phone, caller id, calendar, and email addresses and discard all the people and events that mean you no good or don't benefit your life!   Stop making excuses about your life and make changes!   If you are involved w/a person, job, or circumstance that is doing more harm than good, do yourself a favor - LET IT GO!   Stop being someone’s mistress; especially i

Always Something

Well I thought I was done with my pre-approvals but of course I was not. I was told that the insurance company wanted Cardiologist and Pulmonlogist clearance before they would continue reviewing my application. Of So I went to see the cardiologist. Apparently my left ventricle is slightly enlarged. I had an echo done. I guess its ok because the the docotr signed my clearance form. I am psyched!!! ooo rah!!! Now for the Pulmoniologist. I have not been racing to get this done because I have homew

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