green

Well, you are all wonderful people. I was afraid that I might receive some harsh criticism for airing my views because I am a foreigner. I would like to thank you all. Though I am very much pro-choice stories of women who use abortion as their main form of birth control shock and appall me. It is indeed like choosing to drown litter after litter of kittens instead of getting the cat spayed. In fact I wonder if a woman who functions in this fashion doesn't have a couple of screws loose and should see a shrink. On the other hand, one has to wonder what the fate of those children would be if they were born and being raised by a woman who would abort 'em all. In an ideal world every child would be a wanted and cherished child. As you have gathered, I am very much for universal medicare. I think that it is the kindest thing that government can do for its citizens, all of them but especially the middle class and the working poor. Healthcare is cheaper, too, as the middlemen, the businessmen that is, are cut out of the equations. Statistics show that the United States pays roughly $2000 more per year per capita in healthcare than the countries which have socialized healthcare programmes. There is, however, a looming problem with all social programmes in countries where the birth rates are dropping: this comprises all of western Europe and Canada. The United States doesn't seem to have this problem. Your population is continuing to grow. In countries like ours we are facing an ageing and therefore expensive population and not enough young workers to keep the treasury topped up. People are expensive when they are young - education - and when they are old - medical expenses and old age pensions. To some extent we rely on immigrants to help us out of this problem. We take the brightest and the best educated away from third world countries where they need them. And the Province of Quebec offers money and tax breaks to its residents to have more children; this doesn't seem to be working though. Quebec's birthrate is very low.... This is how demographics affect social programmes. I thought you might be interested.

Good point, Carlene, and thanks.

Oooh, Tim sHorten's! That is so Canadian.

I am a foreign national, a Canadian, and so I am commenting from the outside. I am surprised by those states who vote against the right to choose for these are invariably the same states that are cheap when it comes to the care of this very child who they claim that they want to save. Women who have money usually have education as well. They are less likely to find themselves accidentally pregnant and when they do find themselves pregnant, well, they can afford to go to a state that does provide easy access to abortion. It is inevitably the poor and under-educated woman who, upon finding herself pregnant, is going to also find herself up a creek without a paddle if she is living in the wrong state. She must have the child and yet she will get inadequate pre- and post-natal care. The child will grow up in an environment where he or she is undernourished and has no access to a quality education. These states, those which inevitably are the conservative states, are effectively breeding an underclass through denying their women the right to choose and, at the same time, denying them an adequate social safety net. On some of the earlier posts on this thread people have commented that the Republicans are the moral party and that is why they vote for them. How can this be? This is a party that marches hand in hand with big business and doesn't seem to care about either the middle class or the working class. The trillions of dollars that this government is spending in Iraq could give your country universal health care or level the educational playing field. Are the Republicans moral simply because they don't approve of women's right to choose and because they toss around the term family values? And who is against family values for that matter? Is anyone in the world against the family? Everyone loves their family and understands that the family is something to be cherished. It is always important to look behind a slogan that pushes the buttons in order to see if it actually means anything. As for universal health care, something which we have up here in Canada, here is the scoop: if you live in a major city you will receive good if not stellar medical care. My health care is stellar. I live in Toronto. Those who tend have problems are those who live in thinly populated areas of the country. Canada has thinly populated areas; we are a polar nation and our overall population is small. It is difficult to attract doctors to work in the outback and far more difficult to install hospitals with big-ticket diagnostic machines. Privatized medicine is not going to change Canadian demographics. The goods go where the population is. This is how economics works. What we hear about your health care system is this: if someone in your family choses the wrong disease you can end up on the hook for hundreds of thousands of dollars. Declaring bankruptcy is no longer an option. What my brother, a doc who practices in the States, says is that he has to adjust how he would ideally like to treat his patient to fit that patient's financial profile. This was never a constraint while he was practicing in Canada. It is possible that you are receiving disinformation about our medical system from your politicians and the business interests which animate them. And there are rural folk who will have problems with our system but they won't fare any better under privatized medicine. Mind you, our climate stinks.

Congratulations on selling your home. I was going to say that though my taste is kinda of ideosyncratic my former houses sold to other women. The issue is always the target group of course. If you are selling to people who are similar to yourself and your place is pretty, well maintained and clean then you should be okay. In my city yuppies like houses that use lots of colour even though real estate agents always advise sellers to stick with neutrals. This is because colour is in if it is done right and if the colours are the ones that are in this season. Selling a house is difficult, that's for sure.

Green would be interested to hear how TOM's wife's language changes after she has spent a month in the mother country.

Ooh, there are big problems with language. I am always distressed by the confusion between lay and lie. One is intransitive and one is not but now everyone is laying down not lying down. In order to hold on to my sanity I remember what my linguistics professors told me: language is alive and thus is always changing and it is common usuage that makes for correct usuage. This doesn't make me any less unquiet when I hear language that offends me but it helps me shut my gob when I hear my husband tell me that he was laying down when he really was lying down. I also get pissed when I hear about people gifting each other when it would be so much easier to give each other. I know that I have a number of gifts and so might be called gifted but the most that I will ever do when it comes to relating to another human being is give 'em something. And as for "I'm loving it," this sounds kinda like South Asian English, doesn't it? "Excuse me sir, but I am having to disconnect your power bar cord, and so you should be saving your information." I mean no respect by this; it is just an observation that I am having.

If they all had big b**bs then you might be in bimbo land.

My husband still has a full head of hair so maybe I shouldn't be say this but bald men are more virile. This is true. They have more male hormones and it is those hormones which cause a man to lose his hair. Those baldies can really perform! lol

It is true that Green is blonde!

Yep, I understand. If you have to point out your weight loss to her it is like you haven't lost an ounce and that is real depressing. She is obviously one of those very self-absorbed individuals.

Yah, I was totally pleased. Oh, I said, do you really think I'm losing weight too fast? Why do you say that? I must have made him repeat it about 3x. Of course I still haven't got my act together to buy a scale or a measuring tape so all I can go on are the NSVs, eh. I am now officially allowed mushies so I bought some hummus in a can. I'm gonna make myself scrambled eggs with cheddar and salsa. First time I've cooked since I've been banded. Now that's gonna be weird!

Well the lunch sounds disappointing for you. You noticed what she had done and commented and she paid no attention to you. Bummer! Is she always like this?

Does the TLBC like its patients to keep in touch? Someone phoned me the day after the op to make sure that I wasn't bleeding to death or whatever and I was given a sheet with 3 fill appts on it and that has been it. And for my first fill appt they want me to come 2 hours early! Does anyone know what that is all about? Just asking....

My NSV happened shortly after I read about Woodys's and Choe's. My husband told me he thought I was losing weight too fast! Hah! This means that he sees weight loss and that's a good thing.

Congratulations, Cloe! That is a wonderful story. I am glad that your winter coat is now too big. I think that the NSVs drive home the fact of weight loss more than the scale victories for we are then experiencing weight loss in our daily lives, not just as numbers. And congratulations to you, Woodys. That is a huge NSV! You are incognito now.

Hello Waterlily, I, too, am a depressive or a bi-polar depending on which one of my zookeepers you speak to. Depression runs in my family and both myself and my eldest niece seem to have an extra generous helping of it. I have been seeing people for this since I was a teenager, and have been on various types of medication without a break since I was 34. I am 57 now and have been off work for 3 and a half years with a major depression. I am only now starting to feel better but I was in the same space as you are in for a very long time. My advice to you is this. First of all you must understand that you are very ill and that it is not your fault. You have faulty brain chemistry and are not a bad person. Keep remembering not to blame yourself when you and your house get dirty. This is a result of your illness. Second, on a day when you are feeling stronger than usual phone the folks that run your course and explain that you must drop out at this time for medical reasons. I myself had to drop out of a jewellery making course while I was in your condition. Third, and this is most important, you must get medical help. You need to be on medication and it is possible that it will take time before they find the right combination of meds for you. I have seen two psychiatrists on a regular basis in addition to being assessed 4 times. I have tried a lot of different drugs including some that made me feel worse. The place for you to start is with a good family doc since it is he or she who will be referring you to specialists and he or she who will have your back if your specialist behaves like an a**hole. And, if you don't have good medical coverage, your GP can work with you in lieu of a shrink to find the right drug combo. (Mine is celexa, wellbutrin, risperdone and topamax.) Another thing that you must do is explain the situation to your mate. He sounds from your post like a good and understanding man, by the way. Tell him that you are very ill, that you can't take care of yourself or the house and that he will have to be very patient with you and do a lot of helping out. Your depression is very serious. I feel for you. I've worn this t-shirt.

Hello Waterlily, I, too, am a depressive or a bi-polar depending on which one of my zookeepers you speak to. Depression runs in my family and both myself and my eldest niece seem to have an extra generous helping of it. I have been seeing people for this since I was a teenager, and have been on various types of medication without a break since I was 34. I am 57 now and have been off work for 3 and a half years with a major depression. I am only now starting to feel better but I was in the same space as you are in for a very long time. My advice to you is this. First of all you must understand that you are very ill and that it is not your fault. You have faulty brain chemistry and are not a bad person. Keep remembering not to blame yourself when you and your house get dirty. This is a result of your illness. Second, on a day when you are feeling stronger than usual phone the folks that run your course and explain that you must drop out at this time for medical reasons. I myself had to drop out of a jewellery making course while I was in your condition. Third, and this is most important, you must get medical help. You need to be on medication and it is possible that it will take time before they find the right combination of meds for you. I have seen two psychiatrists on a regular basis in addition to being assessed 4 times. I have tried a lot of different drugs including some that made me feel worse. The place for you to start is with a good family doc since it is he or she who will be referring you to specialists and he or she who will have your back if your specialist behaves like an a**hole. And, if you don't have good medical coverage, your GP can work with you in lieu of a shrink to find the right drug combo. (Mine is celexa, wellbutrin, risperdone and topamax.) Another thing that you must do is explain the situation to your mate. He sounds from your post like a good and understanding man, by the way. Tell him that you are very ill, that you can't take care of yourself or the house and that he will have to be very patient with you and do a lot of helping out. Your depression is very serious. I feel for you. I've worn this t-shirt.

I dunno about those Canuck Lapbanders. The website is so user-unfriendly, eh....

I drank a lot of apple juice (which I don't like because it is too sweet) and broth that first week. I bought a box of beef broth and one of chicken broth. I never did finish the box of chicken broth and now it is sitting in my fridge. I guess I should pour it down the sink and throw the box out, eh. lol You will get through this, kiddo. I believe that these rules are designed to help your stomach out. Remember, it's just gone through surgery! Ya gotta take it easy. (This is difficult. I am feeling so good that I am sneeaking mushies into my soup zone.) Try to be a very good patient for that first week.

I build aircraft but as of today I am retired. I accepted the option for an early retirement package. I also paint and I like to write. I occasionally sell paintings and maybe I will find a way to cash in on my writing skills. Who knows? As of today I am disconnected from the workforce. Weird.

Congratulations. October is a nice month to get married in because it is not too hot nor too cold. It is also a great month to travel in for the same reason. This means that over the years you'll be able to take many great trips and celebrate your anniversaries at the same time.

Are any of them interested in undergoing the surgery? Yesterday I started talking to another plus size woman whom I met while hanging out in the plus size section of Hudson's Bay. I found myself telling her all about my band, that I had it installed two and half weeks ago, yadda, yadda. She said that she was diabetic due to her weight and was on a long waiting list in Nova Scotia which is where she lives for bariatric surgery, and that it will be paid for by the province. We yapped for quite awhile. I told her about this site. I also said that the lapband seems to be the way to go. I also told her that the only guy in Nova Scotia who does it will only service his own patients!

I tend to be a cow when it comes to telemarketers. I don't like strangers asking me how I am before they identify themselves and tell me what their business is. About a week after the op I found myself becoming very cranky. Tormenting telemarketers became an acceptable outlet for a change. It meant that my poor suffering husband was off the hook. Green's approach to telemarketer: "Good day and how are you?" "What do you want?" or "What do you want to sell me?" As you can see, I am not very friendly and I cut to the chase. The ones I hate the most are the ones who tell me that I have won a prize but that I have to go to some place in the suburbs, and listen to a sales pitch for time-shares before I can collect it. The people who phone to tell me about this prize are usually South Asian as it happens. If I am in the mood I try to educate them on the meaning of the word prize in English. I say, "a prize. Oh goody! Send it to me." "No, you have to pick it up." "Well, if it is mine then why can't you send it to me?" Then they explain that I have to pick it up and I say that it isn't a prize if they won't send it to me. They assure me it is and I tell them in that case they can send it to me. Sometimes these conversations can last quite awhile. I don't know where they get my name from but this sh*t always irritates me. If there is strings attached to a prize then it is not a prize, it is work and payment for work.

No, I was lucky. I didn't have a hernia. I was just tired and pleasantly drugged up. I also think that our wild taxi ride, my husband had drunk too much beer while waiting for me to get through surgery, didn't help. It opened up at least one of the wounds and I was dripping blood all over by the time I got home. This may have been a set-back.... But I sure did enjoy my few days in la-la land.