Mountaingal

Sleeved 9/12.
This had been the busiest first quarter of my career ever. Daily stress of spending every day trying to get work done and above all not dropping any balls is exhausting. Nice to be in demand, but all I want to do is tell every Senior Vice President within earshot to do whatever it is they need done by their own damn selves for once! Or promote me so I can pawn off my work on others, too.
All of which means that the candy dish on the file cabinet is way too tempting (taken from it recently, which I had successfully sworn off for over six months - thank you, OCD client who takes up 5x more resources than the account is worth!) and I want/miss junk food. I miss food as a coping mechanism. I've yet to eat my afternoon Protein bar and feel even a little less stressed because of it.
And I know emotional eating is bad, and I know it was only ever momentary relief, but dammit(!) if I can't eat and I can't drink then I'm going to have pick up a substance abuse problem of some kind because no one can work in this industry without some chemical stress release valve. Kidding, but come Friday I need more than a sugar-free popsicle to refresh me. I need some damn endorphins, stat.
And the next person to tell me what a great stress release exercise is can kiss the flattest part of my once-fat ass!
February, just be over! No one like you anyway. You're that kid at the sleepover who was only invited because the host's mom made him! And then to come to the party with nothing to offer but carrots sticks? You're an asshole, February, and I hope you dry up and shrivel!
March is only bringing celery, but at least he isn't a demanding sucubus!
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The statistics were against me. I went to the hospital completely unsure if I would have the courage to go through with my surgery, and terrified I would die. No one... I promise you, NO ONE, ever wanted to have bariatric surgery less than I. I was an emotional food addict whose life had shrunk so much that food was my entire social life. I weighed 367.8 pounds, had out of control diabetes, and could no longer walk across my own kitchen on most days. I needed both knees replaced and my doctor refused to do it until I lost a lot of weight.
The night before my surgery I was alone in the house and I sobbed a funeral dirge for my best friend, food. I was certain I would lose my mind without it.
My friends, are you hesitating?? Struggling? Regretting?? If you can stay with me, read on.
I will tell you that after the first month there hasn't been one day in five years that I haven't thought, "I never could have done this before."
My journey has been difficult, and you will have your struggles, too. The first year, I cared for and buried my beloved sister--my "person" in this world--who died in my arms. The second year, I had my right knee replaced. The third year, my left knee. My weight loss stalled, but I never gave up. The fourth year, my father died and right afterwards, my husband almost died and needed months of nursing.
I didn't tell you all that to whine. I told you in order to try to put some context to my life, because in spite of all that sorrow and pain, I am filled with joy. I have taken back my life, and you can, too.
When I came out of my surgery, I vowed that having taken the drastic step of altering my body, I was going to be all in. I have honored that vow.
I had to learn to walk again. Now I am a landscape, wedding and portrait photographer.
I had to accept that I couldn't go on vacation and eat like the old me without gaining back weight it took me months to lose. Now I usually drop a couple of pounds on vacation, and I have one thing every day that I really want. To eat, that is!! I get to have experiences instead of food now!
I had to accept that carbs are not part of my daily eating. But I have learned to actually prefer zucchini spaghetti!!
Most importantly, I learned that no one will ever abuse me again. And that includes me.
I learned that emotional eating may feel like self care, but it is self destruction, and self destruction and self preservation can never exist side by side.
Last year, I photographed the cliffs of Maine, the mountains of West Virginia (going by rope down to the waterfalls), beaches in the Carolinas, and so many other things. (Check out my stuff at mlwolfephotos.com if you are inclined!).
I could babble on and on...
Today, I am at my lowest weight in 34 years. I have not met my weight loss goal. I'm still just over 200 pounds--a weight many people begin this journey at!! It may take me a year, but I'll get there.
On January 1st I turned 60, and I cried. A lot. I didn't cry because I was 60. I cried because I wasted so many years... My 30s... My 40s...half my 50s. I cannot get them back. But I have what's left, and I will cherish each breath.
So, I lost much of my stomach. I lost 153 pounds. I gained the world.
I wish that for each and every one of you! May you work to make all your dreams come true!
Attaching a few pics, not just of what I look(ed) like, but of who I am!!!

Thank you for sharing yours! I'm going to be 39 soon and I lift weights pretty regularly. I haven't had my surgery yet either. I am half white and half black (I do think genetics play a big part to how we look, skin, etc) and I'm extra hopeful now!!! Yay!
With that said, my health is more important than what I will look like. We can always use makeup, get cosmetic surgery, etc.
I like what a previous poster said, being obese will kill you, looks won't. So true.
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My starting weight was 294. I am now 116. I NEVER thought I would be a 39 year old mom that can wear a size 0. I didn't seek that out as a goal, it just happened. My doctor gave me the goal of 135-145. I hit the top end of the goal in 9 months. It took about 3 months to lose the other 10 pounds. I started training for my first half marathon in July of last year and got down to 121 then. Even though I stayed the same weight, during that time I went from a size 6 to a size 2. I lost more weight after stopping birth control.
With all that said....how you look after is based on so many different factors. I lost 178 pounds, but have minimal excess skin. I know others that have lost 80 pounds and have LOTS of excess skin. I give credit to my workout regime in part. You cannot just do cardio, you must do weight training.
The hair loss. I experienced that starting the 3rd month through about the 9th month. It was minimal though. I have PCOS and experienced much worse before the surgery. I have been committed to getting my Protein and taking my Vitamins.
I agree with the others. Looking a certain way is still healthier than being obese or morbidly obese in my case.

This is understandable.
The thing is that most people don't look sickly for long or just don't loose enough to be skeletal. Once people hit their nadir weight, things tend to even and shift. Just like @@JamieLogical said. Will you have loose skin, probably. It really isn't as bad as it may seem. I'm much happier with my saggy skin and being able to do more. Also a lot healthier.
Also sometimes people might tell you to stop loosing weight because
they are jealous,
not used to you being smaller,
not sure what a healthy weight looks like,
etc, etc, etc. The reasons go on and on.
The truth is that we are used to ourselves heavy. It just takes time for us and others to get used to us being skinny/skinnier. In time we can develop new identities about ourselves. That is really all it is. Learning to accept looking different.
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A thin, 'sunken in' looking face won't kill you. Being obese will.

When it comes to faces, it does seem like a lot of us go through phases where we look a little sunken and sickly, but it does seem to even out eventually. Age seems to have a lot to do with it. For younger people, the skin and plumpness seem to bounce back eventually in maintenance. For older people, they can end up with some sagging skin in their neck and jowls.
But I will say the same thing about this as I do to the people who fear hair loss and loose skin... no one ever died from it. People die every single day from obesity-related illnesses!

Yep different for everyone ...
I experienced no pain at all. I was home day 3 cause 2 days is minimum here for a stay in hosp.
No pain meds after day 1.
If it wasn't for the fatigue but I could of gone back to work within days.
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I started a few weeks earlier than the required pre-op diet. I replaced Breakfast and lunch and had a reasonable homemade dinner and I lost 15 pounds. Then another 10 for the actual pre-op liquid diet.
25 total. My problem is keeping it off long term.
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Nice to see people from VA posting. If any of you going to Roanoke Memorial are from the Montgomery or Giles Co area I'd love to meet new friends. I have only heard good things about the bariatric surgeons there though I went to Mexico as my insurance did not cover anything to do with WL. Good luck to those of you with upcoming dates.

Bariatric Pal is the greatest. I remember my surgery as much as a vacation/change of scene as an "operation". Can't go wrong with them.

I've aged about 10 years since surgery. I think that has to do with how much you've lost rather than which surgery you went with. I've heard that often your weight shifts around, though, so that you don't continue to look as gaunt. You start to look better after awhile.
re: malabsorption - my lab numbers so far have been very good. Malabsorption is not as extreme with the RNY, though - but I suppose if you really keep on top of your supplements and get regular lab work, you probably be OK. Just keep researching it. I didn't really look very far into the DS because I knew I couldn't have it (because of my insurance - plus, no surgeons around here do that one)

Sorry this is not really totally weight loss related but I have no real other outlet for this. Tomorrow is my wedding anniversary, or rather what should be my anniversary. It is a day I should be celebrating with my husband. But that joy and celebration was stolen from me by the person who promised he would never leave. Five months ago on what I thought was a normal Friday I went to work and my husband was taking our two younger kids to spend the day with their older sister. Well after he acted like everything was perfectly normal he came home from dropping off the kids and packed up everything of his from the house, he took half of the little bit of money we had and I got a text that said I'm sorry this isn't working for me anymore, I'm moving out. We had not been fighting, things had been fine or so I thought.
I try really hard to keep a happy face on for the kids but I am still grieving the loss of my marriage so much. When I first had surgery he was very supportive but it seemed as I got smaller he became more and more withdrawn. Things really felt like they shifted when I became smaller then him. He is a husky guy but has never been obese though. Thankfully I have never been really an emotional eater so through all of this I have still continued to lose weight and keep up with my goals but it is so hard.
I guess I don't really have a major point to this thread. I'm not really looking for sympathy or anything, just needed somewhere to vent for a minute. I don't have any real outlet.

Bariatric Pal is the greatest. I remember my surgery as much as a vacation/change of scene as an "operation". Can't go wrong with them.

Bariatric Pal is the greatest. I remember my surgery as much as a vacation/change of scene as an "operation". Can't go wrong with them.

I hate to hear this. I hope you are doing well now and becoming a MAJOR LOSER!

Hey! I have never posted before, but I am at the airport ready to fly back home, and I just wanted to post a little bit about my experience with TeamMX and my surgery with Dr. Illan.
Overall, I had a great experience. The work to get everything ready prior to surgery was smooth. Bill and Stacy did a great job with communication up front, and that helped put my mind at ease.
For some context, I am 5'8 and my highest weight was 304.5 about 6-7 weeks ago. I started the pre-op diet on 11/17, and did my best to stick to it through the Thanksgiving holiday. The fact that I had a cold and could not taste anything made that easier!
Anyways, my flights to San Diego were smooth and I met a valet at the airport shortly after I landed. I might have waited 5-10 minutes at most. Form there, we went straight to the hospital (maybe a 20-30 minute ride), and started on paperwork and began the pre-op process. Through each step, they explained what was going to happen. Everything with this part of the process was smooth. My heart rate was a little high, but I think that was just from me being nervous, and from me getting over a cold. I was happy that my weight was at 279 just before surgery. I was hoping to hit 280, so that was kind of a cool milestone.
It was good to meet Dr. Illan. He stopped in to see me and asked if I had any last minute questions. Nice guy. Very down to earth.

From there, it was off to surgery! I remember bits and pieces before I went to sleep. But, when I woke up, I was pretty sick. This has more to do with me than anything. Being nauseated is not something that I take kindly to. And I don't do the best with anesthesia or morphine for pain either. However, the staff and orderly's from Team MX were patient and kind to me. The standard of care here was high. They listened to me and helped me work through the worst of the pain that 1st night.
The next day, I was feeling better for sure. Sore, but better. Staff members were attentive to my needs. My room was clean and orderly. I really don't have too many complaints about the hospital stay. Would it be nice if everyone spoke perfect english? Sure, but you can work your way though that stuff.
The next day, I was out of the hospital before noon. That was the first time I had ever been at a hospital and left on time (as in, when I was told I would be leaving). That was a breathe of fresh air. Bill and Stacy were by that morning to chat with me and shake a hand in person. That was a nice touch as well.
The time at the hotel was great as well. The rooms were super nice. A great way to watch Sunday football. The wi-fi was a little spotty, but that is ok.
I spent much of the next day (day 4 now) in my room and working. I kind of treated the experience as a working vacation and a way to get caught up on things since I did not bring a companion (no one could come with me). I felt really good day 4. A minimal amount of pain. A doctor from the hospital came by to check on me that morning to see how I was doing and answer any more questions I might have. I didn't have any. The discharge instructions were clear, and I felt like I knew what the plan was.
I went out to see some of the city at night on day 4, and spent some time with one of the valets and another patient. That was a great experience. It was nice to get outside, get some fresh air, see some of the city and mingle with some other people.
I am now here on day 5 and at the airport ready to travel back. Pain is really low now. Some hicuppy feelings, but nothing too bad.
All in all, I don't regret making the decision to have surgery, and I am looking forward to losing a lot of weight in 2017!
Let me know if you have any questions.

Hopefully you never feel like you didn't have the surgery since you will eat less and your body will feel very differently for the rest of your life. That said in time you won't be think of yourself as a patient forever. You will get used to a new way of life. I was on the boards every day for a least a year after surgery. The support I found there was integral to my adjusting to this new way of life. Now I only come here every 2-3 days and am back spending more time doing other things in life . Some of those things I could no longer do before the surgery. So it stays in the back of your mind. Hoping you soon feel exactly the way you want to and love your new body.

Have a great week everyone!
Had lapband surgery 10/12/16

Nice to see good results with plication. It is not so common so we hear less about it. Going to get my plication on July 17th and am ready to get on with my life as a thinner , healthier person.

Talk to Henry at Bariatric Pal they take incredible care of you and have great Drs.

You may not be bringing money into your relationship for six weeks but you will be bringing in something that may be even more valuable. You will be working towards a longer healthier life to spend with him and your children. You are blessed if he is willing and able to do this for you.

Brilliant start well done. It sure is a mind game.
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Really respect you for taking control back !

Good for you! Sorry you hit such a rough patch but happy you're on the mend, you can do it keep up the good work
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