TracyinKS

Holy Heck……….. they took out .4cc……… almost half a cc……. I’m scared of being hungry…… by my calculations my band had about 3.7 cc’s in it… so I’m hovering a little over 3.3 cc’s I’ve got to get it through my head that just because I might feel a bit hungrier than I have been .. it doesn’t mean I’m going to gain back the 95 lbs I lost….. I can go get a fill in a month if I need it. Damn my stomach just growled! I don’t even REMEMBER THE LAST TIME IT GROWLED!!!!!!!!!!!! PIE HOLE REPORT: coffee w/sf creamer 3/4 of a crunch pb granola bar (on the way to the doc) Right now drinking.......... Dt. Dr. Pepper w/ shot of vanilla in it. I brought left over potatoe soup for lunch...........but I also have tuna lunch on the go kits stashed in my desk..... I am afraid to eat! (someone tell me I'm being riduculous) seriously.. I'm afraid to open my mouth and insert food, because I'm afraid 95 lbs will JUMP RIGHT BACK ON ME................... (guess I need to tag along to Mary Jo with Haydee and Tracy)

Good morning everyone! Jenn you WILL get through this! Be tough! I know its in you. Everyone.. I have an announcement............... (I have a 10a.m appointment for an UNFILL) Yes, I'm biting the bullet.. and I'm also scared shitless........ but for the last couple weeks (and probably more) I've had THE MOST HORRID heartburn.. and last night I devoured about half a bottle of rolaids.......... and this is what I ate yesterday. B: Coffee w/sf creamer B: 1 cookie L: Potatoe Soup S: A few handfuls of popcorn (which I ate too fast and came right back up) D: two bites of the sauce of Hamburger helper (which came up) about 7:00 p.m. half a vanilla shake doctored up with 1/2 the glass of a premixed white russian mix............ Oh and I'm retaining water cause my period should start today! I am freaking that I will hurt my band.. and that if I was physically ABLE to eat some meat that I could actually do better on a Low Carb plan..... but I AM FREAKING OUT because we are going to sturgis and the world of RALLY FOOD............. will I be able to control myself.... I am scared of gaining... because this is where I get stuck in weight loss (my low point) and then I start the regain process......... I AM SCARED........... but I'm even more scared of hurting my band........ So there.. I said it... and I've already called to get in for the unfill..... I will need purple power for sure.......

LOVE IT JUDY!!!!!! I love the privacy of the trees!

ahhhh haaa... good point Kat! Find out from your NEW HR lady (when are you switching jobs?)

Unfortunatley No, the only way I got my pscy eval covered under my flex was because it was REQUIRED for getting my band.. I argued with the people.. :tt2: anyway... unless you find a loop hole you can't use it. Look up Flex Spending Account or FSA.. on IRS.gov for guidelines.

Thank goodness its FRIDAY!!!!!!!!! I need to get back to it.....

Haydee: Your so hawt in those pics I'm thinking of switching sides!

period and stress! MY TOP TWO BAND TIGHTENERS! Prepare for it and you'll be fine!

thats funny Pamela!

I'm inspired and why I'm eating Tuna for lunch! gotta take the boys to the dentist! gotta go

Way To Go! Surgery is very personal.. you have to be ready for it. My husband was supportive but he wanted to know how it would affect HIM... and I'm going to break it down in truth.. (THIS HAS BEEN MY EXPERIENCE) but first... my mom clicked her tongue and said that she would let me be the guineau pig doubting it would work.. but NOW she is planning to self pay for a band for herself.... OK the husband....... it was VERY hard for him to watch me eat so little..... I think it actually pissed him off. (much like forcing a child to clean his plate) He would get irritated with me if I didn't want to spend the money on a buffet for me when I would eat very little.... (and it was something I had to get over) He tried to become the food police...... (and that is a HUGE HUGE no no!) As of late... I think he is sick of hearing about my band..... we have adjusted to the fact that I usually share a meal with my 4 year old son, or just order something alacarte... I'm smaller now that when we first met and he makes comments that my ass is flat..... He understands that I'm much happier with myself. He is a good man and he really tries to be supportive.... but I think sometimes he feels a little left out......... The band is really meant to help volume eaters..... most of us on this forum have indeed lost weight (1000's of lbs) via traditional measures, but maintaining the loss is paramount and the REAL reason why I chose the band....... I have a plan that I do my best to stick to and the band is there to remind me when I try to sabotage myself.. and say.. HEY STUPID.. YOU CAN'T EAT THAT! But I will say that the band is different for everyone.. its what you (and your wife ) make of it......... it is a process... and I will be the first to say that I am NOT a model bandster... but I have made it work for me, and it is the best thing I've ever done in my professional dieters life! GOOD LUCK

CAN I GET A HELL YEAH! Hell Yay!!!! Trace.. your post gave me goosebumps.. seriously it did! Me normal?????? Nahhhhh Not a chance.. LOL Laura: I have been going through some of the same things... not really losing weight but all of a sudden people are REALLY noticing and saying things.... and I actually FEEL I'm of a normal size. I really think that we are entering into the TOUGHEST part of our journies... COMPLACENCY.. and its complacency that has ALWAYS ALWAYS kicked my ass right back up the scale..... WHO ARE WE if we are NOT trying to lose weight??????? WHO AM I? If I'm NOT the fat sister, daughter, coworker, wife, mom......... WHO THE HELL AM I? and often I ponder this while eating shit that I know I shouldn't, then I feel guilty, then I feel... What the hell I blew today.... and then I find myself in a world wind of regain....... and then I feel hopeless, depressed and like a failure at life........ SO WHO THE HELL IS THIS TRACY? WHO ARE YOU??? I am Tracy, a 38 year old woman (almost 39) I am Tracy, a loving mom, wife and step mom, daughter, sister, friend.... I am a woman who has ALWAYS struggled with weight, but who is trying to break the cycle of regain. I feel a tad guilty that I'm forcing a change in my place in relationships.. as I am no longer the fatest one.... I am KICKING ASS and TAKING NAMES I am other peoples inspiration. Like it or not I am other peoples role model, so I better start acting like it! I am strong and I better start believing it. I am proud to walk into a room knowing that I look good. I AM TRACY....... and for ONCE in my entire life I WILL ACHEIVE A GOAL that I have set for myself!!!!!!!!!!! WHO ARE YOU???????

Good Job Laura!!!! I DRANK 1 glass of water!!! Woot Woot!

Dr. Jazzy Bradford!!!! ROFLMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!! Good morning........ OK MICHELLE I'm going to log off and GO FILL MY Water GLASS and report back after its gone! Laura: I am of no help........ I just purchased a 3 gallon tub of orange sherbert last night... and you guessed it I had a huge bowl AFTER eating a homeade loaded baked potatoe.. (and I do NOTHING low fat) Real butter, REAL sour cream, REAL bacon, REAL cheese) oh gawd.. it was good. The rest of the family had BLT's......... yum yum.. can't do the bread so I just dip the bacon into the mayo............. HEY I'm BEING HONEST!!! LOL OK... so I'm going to get some water right NOW!!!!!!!!!!

KAT: Rockies run small!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so you are one flat bellied skinny butt!!!! We are camping at the Custer KOA (yeah a LONG way from the Chip, but we are taking the 11 year old.. so the CHIP would be a BIG NO NO! LOL) Hopefully we can meet up. I will be working from the campground Monday 8/4/08. Ok.. back to work

HELLO STRANGE WORLD! ohhh I mean violets! Jenn: SOOOOO GLAD TO SEE YOU POSTING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Terry: I guess I missed something big about your mom when I skipped several pages of posts from last weekend... ( bad Tracy!) Hugs woman! TracyK: LUCKYASSDOG!!!!!!!!!!!!! sahm Haydee: Can't wait for the report. Michelle: Rararee kickem in the knee... go........ pta mom! Suzie: IT IS SOOOOOOOOO HOT HERE THIS WEEK! I hope you are soaking in that pool! (but you are probably at work filling in) Jane: school district jobs?? what?? I must of missed something Pamela: How are you doing my lovely? Laura: How is miss skinny ass today? Judy: You are rocking on that wii fit! Kat: are you guys going to sturgis? if so, let me know where your staying and we can hook up.... speaking of sturgis.. I got my lap top set up for wireless.. and the KOA has free wifi.. COOL BEANS.. and you betcha butt I'm not using a PTO time, for the day I'm working! My sister is finally marrying her long time live in man........ (he's only asked about 100 times) her baggage and FINALLY she gave him a date.. November 2008. I'm so excited for her. Still 176 this morning............ and just imagine if I actually drank ANY WATER!!!!!!!!!!!! (I am such a bad example!!!!) Ice cream, tacos, and dt. dr pepper, oh and coffee............ who wants to come slap me up side the head! OK........... let the beating begin

My boss is a regular guy... and OUR boss is a Sister VP type.... His day was sooo bad that I am trying to configure my laptop to take to sturgis with me so I can do the payroll via a wireless connection. who d a thunk that the KOA has Wifi! Luckily I had a plug in wifi connector.. problem is I need to take it somewhere to try and connect. Ho hum............ the crap that hit the fan last week... was aimed at my boss...... you know one of those people that have no life outside work so they make each and every small issue a HUGE LIFE THREATENING thang......... well it was bad enough that he went from working 3-4 more years to 3-4 more months....... he says he's too old for that kind of bs and he doesn't need the money so why put up with it??? (and he's right) but it is going to be painful for me........ wanting him to stick it out is purely selfish of me... I have a sweet deal....... I for the most part run the show and have pretty much free rein but the added buffer of him from the regimented sister culture........ I can piss him off and we work through it........ where as, when you DARE question a sister... it just isn't proper..... and they get pretty ticked off if a lay person dares to get outside their box....... I don't know what is to happen in the coming months...... but I am 6 years vested and have 26 days of PTO per year...... so going anywhere else doesn't sound appealing.. especially with the price of gas..... ho hum I'm 38 and feel pretty much stuck in my situation. and there are these kinds of people in every industry and every job so I just have to deal with it and suck it up........... plus... I love the coot! He has his quirks but we work really well as a team........ So anyway.......... I just drowned my sorrows in an ice cream sandwhich! LOL not as good as DQ, but probably less damage! I put up a new video on myspace yesterday... its me in the size 10 Levis 315..... freaking little girl jeans. they are so low! I bought them off Ebay thinking they were 515's (which are mid rise) but I gotta tell ya... the stack of too small jeans at the top of my closest is getting smaller and smaller and I think I'm going to have to cull out clothes that DO FIT, but I don't like!!!!!!!!!! WOW!

Ok.. I'm back........ as if the poor guy didn't have enough on his mind.. his dad died of a heart attack today...... oh lord. Time for Tracy to cut her hair and start wearing suits.......... (playing the promotion game) crap.. I hate playing the game....... but a chance for promotion..... or I will be training ANOTHER boss! I did hit 176!

I'm here.. just hellacrap hit the fan last week at work.. and now my boss is talking retirement at the end of THIS YEAR! I am trying to talk him into staying at least one more year.......... shit I think he just got a call that his dad passed away.. he is on the phone with his wife.. SHIT!!!!!!!!!!! I'm training him today on payroll....

As a benefits administrator.... RIGHT ON!

checking in on you and your little belly bean..........

oh and Judy: CUTE outfits!

Denise: Prayers for your daughter! Michelle: THAT IS GREAT!!!!!!! Terry: I can not believe I weigh LESS THAN YOU! Suzie: Does a pool boy come with?? TracyK: YEEEHAWWWWWW!!!!!!! Laura: try not to stress out about your period, but I know its impossible Pamela: Happy Late Bday! Kat: HAVE FUN at the rally!!!!! you flatbellied hottie OK.. so my nsv for yesterday was that I DID NOT EAT ANY ICECREAM 178.6 today Big meeting today......... so big that I lost a lot of sleep last night.. gotta go

I'm eating tuna!!!!!!!!!! NO BADDDDDD drinks for me today! NO dairy queen either........

thanks Lovegrapes!