Just an update
Current mood: optimistic
Category: Goals, Plans, Hopes
I finally made up my mind to have my gastric band out. I have been debating on it for weeks. I am not sure whether I just didn't give it a chance or if it was put in too high which causes me difficulty swallowing. I go back and forth in my thinking constantly. I have an appointment with a very prominent pain dr in the city in July, that writes many articles on chronic pain and tolerance, and also conducts a lot of experimental trials on new treatments and new drugs. My reasoning then goes to: what if I feel better and I really want to put all my efforts into losing weight? Perhaps I should see a nutritionist and psychologist like they wanted me to and really have the band adjusted and go to support groups. Then I say to myself, "Nah, I'm never gonna change, this is my lot in life(having chronic pain) and I just have to accept it."Anyway, after trying to eat a turkey sandwich the other night and only being able to get 2 small bites down before it got stuck in my throat, I could either wait patiently and see if it got digested, or go and throw it up. I decided that I love food too much and although I may be able to live on 2 bites, my head was still hungry and I wanted to eat the rest. I am also lacking the nutrition that meat, fish and chicken would give me. My cholesterol is a little high because I live mostly on soft foods that include cheese and thats not good for me either. It would be so nice to have a balanced diet. I just have to be on Weight Watchers for the rest of my life and do the best I can. The surgery is Thurday, June 15 at Northshore- LIJ hospital at Syosset. I stay in over night and then come home the next day. Say a prayer for me and wish me luck and as little pain as possible because when I had the sucker put in, they were unable to control my pain the first 2 days and I was miserable. This time they have the pain group from that hospital meeting with me before the surgery so hopefully I will have an easier time.