Albacheeser

I have found the "geometry" and "size" of what I let in my pouch determines how much I can eat. In other words, if I have a bowl of spaghetti and chop it up I can eat the entire thing without a hitch (frighteningly so). However, if I don't cut it up and simply roll some up on a fork and eat ONE (1) mouthful and I am done for about 20 minutes. It's funny, but I get headache when I'm stuck.

Here's my advise. Whenever you fall off the wagon, re-watch a movie made in the early 80's starring Dom DeLuise and Ann Bancroft called FATSO. Hilarious movie, particularly if you are Italian.

I like a lot of things about LBT. Often, however, things can get so serious and/or melancholy when we share our problems and concerns. That's all important, but woudn't it be great if there was a "lighter side" section where people could read/post things like the following: A) funny anecdotes funny comic strips C) "chicken soup" cheer-up posts D) fun poking fat/skinny jokes (nothing offensive of course) E) etc. Having been a "class clown" all my life, I recently posted this funny pic on Facebook and I wanted to post it here on LBT somewhere but couldn't find just the right area so this lighter side thingy came to mind. This pic had the caption given to my facebook friends: "As you can see this LapBand tool is really reducing my size." The moral of the story is. If the weight is not coming off fast enough, don't fret about it and simply consider Photoshop and hope "The Law of Attraction" will kick in!

Godspeed to you Opus03! All the best.

Funny post. I think about silly stuff like that too, but here's the thing. My wife still prefers I would have just gotten the flesh eating bacteria. And I know and those people know it might not work. Sure. But one thing they can never say again is that "Albacheeser is not serious about losing weight.". I'm giving people in my family some hope even for themselves. I take that as a real responsibility to do this right.

Did you wonder how these ladies found this thread? I can see them searching now for a topic of their interest... Search: _LapBand__johnson__girth Ah yes, hit the "Sweet Spot".

I was eating grilled chicken on a bed of wild rice. It tasted so good that I flashed back to an old eating habit: focus on the next bite and the forget what's in my mouth already, swallow it. The following happened over the 5 to 8 minute period or so: First symptom: The first thing was the feeling I've had several times, the pain in the esophagus. Every other time it went away after waiting a minute. Second symptom: Rather than the food dropping to Stomach#2, it just sits there like a fat guy behind 8 skinny ladies in a buffet line. Third symptom: Drink a sip of Water. Not helping. It's not going through. Wait, this may not go down. Fourth symptom: All of a sudden salivary glands were making saliva or something in substantial quantities. Fifth symptom: Pain gets progressively worse until you feel like this might come back up if all goes well. Six symptom: Pain got intense for a second and I spit up the large quantities of saliva and some very small bits of food, but then most of the solid food passed through and... Instantly back to normal feeling. Moral to the story: Slow down and chew you frickin' idiot.

"Anal Play" Sounds like somebody farting out lines from MacBeth

Well this topic is not what came to this board for tonight. Sheez. But I've learned one thing from it. There is a ladies powder room and there some interesting discussions that are going on over there. I came to talk about P.B. Guess that means "poke butt" in this thread.

For those that have "hidden" the LapBand from others. For me, the idea of that was more work than it was worth. By telling everyone, I received much more good sentiment than not. I recommend being open about it, it has worked very well for me and I'm a man. I even post progress on Facebook. Let go. That's what I say.

Different people react differently. I believe you will get over this. I have had the opposite reaction. I am more willing to talk about things with people. I am more willing to return the call of an old friend because, even though I just started my journey, I now am no longer ashamed of what I have become. I am more inclined to go to places where people might ask about it. Most are now getting sick of me talking about it since they don't have this tool and are a bit jealous anyway. For those who have not told anybody about having the device, I can't really help hear. For me, it has been much easier psychologically to simply discuss it. I even post updates on my Facebook. As far as triggers. Once you have PB or even a near PB, you won't worry about triggers anymore. Your body can tell you to start eating little shrimps but your "little friend" will remind you not to. And even if you do cheat, you won't eat as much as you did before. Basically, you have to learn to "trust" the tool you now have.

After reading a lot of bickering posts and negativity here, I thought it would be nice to relax with some humor... What jokes and funny stories do you have? I'll start... 1) When people ask what was the biggest size I wore, I tell them "double F". (See "Tony Soprano") 2) Before my friend decided to get WLS, he was FASTING one day. Later in the day he got a terrible fit of munchies. He rumbled in the kitchen rummaging for food like a bear. Obviously some inner drive had made him forget his goal. I said to him, "I thought you were FASTING!". Without delay he barked back, "I'm going as FAST as I can!"

I hope I get to restriction before you did, sheez. Am I going to have to wait for 6 or 7 months of fills while my friendly little skinny female PA pussyfoots around with .5 to 1cc fills? I suspect the published fills protocols are overly conservative, anyway, because they have to be the least common denominator for everyone. I live 2 hours away from my doctor and I have as much a problem with delayed gratification as I had with portion control. We want our fills now! LOL. The one thing that is good about it, though, in comparison to 2 siblings that had RnY is that it gives me a chance to gradually adjust my chewing and eating habits rather than the abrupt cutoff. I just don't want it to be unnecessarily slow for no good reason.

Hey M Taylor, that pdf is part of what I am talking about. The data shown is like from 2000, before APS/APL and updated follow-up care and protocols. They really need a more up-to-date set of numbers. It's been 2 or 3 years now since APS/APL came out.

I have the APL, I've had one fill @ 2cc. I read some info from late '07 that seemed to indicate the percent of first year EWL for the APS (52%,i believe) was better than the APL (in the 40%s). To me, that indicates that they should be a little more aggressive with the APL protocol, IMHO. Granted, I have not seen any studies since that study back then. I would love to see a newer one if anyone has it. What I am looking for is a study showing average 12 to 18 month results with APS vs APL as well as others such as the Realize etc.