I was banded 6.29. I'm not having trouble with exercising or eating right, or any of the normal things I thought might give me problems. Losing a good amount of weight; have already dropped a few clothing sizes.

Instead, I'm having emotional (or possibly psychological) side effects I didn't foresee. For example, my brother threw my SIL a birthday party and when it came time to eat dinner, I got seriously uncomfortable, nervous and eventually left the party early. I have a family wedding and a bachelorette party coming up that I'm worried about attending.

I find myself not wanting to go to events where I know there will be lots of food or drinking. Partly because feeling uncomfortable is one of my food triggers and partly because I don't want to deal with questions about the changes in my eating habits (spefically, how much less I'm eating).

Initially I thought it was just me getting used to the band and the new lifestyle it results in, but now I'm six weeks out and it doesn't seem to be getting better.

Has anyone else experienced this sort of "hermit" urge?

For the record, withdrawing from all this isn't helping either, it's simply making me feel lonely and isolated. My own doing, but still. :w00t:

Yes and it is totally normal. Especially for those of us that have not told god and everyone we had surgery for WLS. It does get better you learn how to fit into the social setting without calling attention to what you are or are not eating. Hang in there...

There are a lot of psychological issues that we had before the band that the band seems to amplify. I know exactly what you mean. I'm going to NYC in September with a friend from high school to meet up with another friend from high school, and I'm already nervous about the eating situations, whether to tell them, etc. It's a huge mental adjustment, and you don't realize how it effects every aspect of your life. Personally, I'm going to be seeing a therapist for help along this journey.

Different people react differently. I believe you will get over this.

I have had the opposite reaction.

I am more willing to talk about things with people.

I am more willing to return the call of an old friend because, even though I just started my journey, I now am no longer ashamed of what I have become.

I am more inclined to go to places where people might ask about it. Most are now getting sick of me talking about it since they don't have this tool and are a bit jealous anyway.

For those who have not told anybody about having the device, I can't really help hear. For me, it has been much easier psychologically to simply discuss it. I even post updates on my Facebook.

As far as triggers. Once you have PB or even a near PB, you won't worry about triggers anymore. Your body can tell you to start eating little shrimps but your "little friend" will remind you not to. And even if you do cheat, you won't eat as much as you did before. Basically, you have to learn to "trust" the tool you now have.

Edited August 11, 200917 yr by Albacheeser

For those that have "hidden" the LapBand from others. For me, the idea of that was more work than it was worth.

By telling everyone, I received much more good sentiment than not.

I recommend being open about it, it has worked very well for me and I'm a man. I even post progress on Facebook.

Let go. That's what I say.

For those that have "hidden" the LapBand from others. For me, the idea of that was more work than it was worth.

By telling everyone, I received much more good sentiment than not.

I recommend being open about it, it has worked very well for me and I'm a man. I even post progress on Facebook.

Let go. That's what I say.

See, now, most people I see regularly DO know. And I specifically didn't hide it because I didn't want to feel strange about it afterwards - but its happening anyway.

I was thinking about counseling, because this is clearly not a *new* problem, just one that's become apparent because I can't lean on my food crutch to get me through anymore. I'm just not sure.

I'm certainly sorry that you are having such difficulty. I must agree with those who have chosen to not hide the fact that they have had this surgery. There are certainly those people who do not need to know but there are a bunch of people who do need to know. Friends and family can be a huge well of support as you begin this journey. They have been with you as you gained the weight, they can be with you as you lose it too.

An important reason to let certain people know is that you need their patience. See, you will take FOREVER to eat a meal. You will still be playing with your food while others are ready to move on. They need to understand that your band dictates what, how much, and how fast you eat. Their patience is key.

Also, you need their cooperation. Restaurants these days generally serve HUGE portions, even for un-banded people. If those around you know that you simply cannot eat so much, they are more likely willing to share a meal with you. Lately, Chilis and Applebees have had deals where you get an appetizer and two Entrees for $20. It is intended for 2 people. In reality, there is plenty there for 3-4. Why not coordinate with your dinner mates. Everyone get enough to eat and you save a few bucks.

Emotional support is probably the most important benefit of sharing. This is a long journey you are on. Why take it alone? You need to be able to call a friend in times of temptation, to vent to a co-worker, to share your success with a neice. Don't deprive yourself of this kind of support because of pride or shame.

You have made a huge step in the process of being a better and healthier person. By not sharing this with others you take away their opportunity to show you how much they care.

I think Albacheeser pegged it: Different people react differently.

And I think you are spot on about therapy. Apparently you used food as a coping mechanism and now that you can't or won't, you need to substitute a more healthy(physically and mentally) behavior. A good behavioral therapist will do wonders for you!

I come from the camp of "tell only those who are essential to your success" and I'm SOOOOO glad I did!!

I have a couple of friends (online and in person) who have had WLS and told everyone. Well, now every time they go out to eat socially these people watch every bite that goes into LBS patients mouth and ask questions.

Then when you eat foods that maybe aren't the best choices (we all do it eventually) you get the "raised eyebrow" like, "are you suppose to be eating that" look.

The biggest reason I'm glad I kept it quiet is that everyone loses weight differently. Some people might assume you just drop weight quickly, and if you are losing slower, their opinions could hinder your success. Or god forbid, WLS doesn't work for you, imagine what they would think

Every individual needs to make which choice works best for them, I'm very happy I chose to keep my decision "close to the vest"

I come from the camp of "tell only those who are essential to your success" and I'm SOOOOO glad I did!!

I have a couple of friends (online and in person) who have had WLS and told everyone. Well, now every time they go out to eat socially these people watch every bite that goes into LBS patients mouth and ask questions.

Then when you eat foods that maybe aren't the best choices (we all do it eventually) you get the "raised eyebrow" like, "are you suppose to be eating that" look.

Funny post. I think about silly stuff like that too, but here's the thing. My wife still prefers I would have just gotten the flesh eating bacteria. And I know and those people know it might not work. Sure.

But one thing they can never say again is that "Albacheeser is not serious about losing weight.".

I'm giving people in my family some hope even for themselves. I take that as a real responsibility to do this right.

Who you tell and who you don't is a very personal decision. I chose not to tell the world and I am still having some issues with people around me because my loss is obvious now. Not everybody has family and friends that will be supportive. It depends on your circle and how they are toward you. Only you can make the choice. I am glad I kept most out of the loop. I am finding that I have been able to depend on the people I chose to tell and I don't worry about the rest.

I agree it is totally personal and there's no "right" or "wrong" except as we each individually experience it.

I couldn't care less if people look at me and wonder if I can eat something or not, for example, (and that's probably part of the reason I got up to 405, to be honest!) but I truly thank GOD everyone isn't like me. How dull this old earth would be!

Variety...that's the spice of life.

At first i felt uncomfortable about social settings but now i actually think it makes me look the best i've ever looked. before at a party i flocked to the Desserts and guarded the table for dear life and now people notice my eating habits have remarkably changed for the better and i have inspired people to look into the band (those that know)

those that don't just assume i've been bit by the diet bug or i'm in love or something like that...its none of their business pretty much .

much luck to you. you are doing great!! i was banded by dr hoffman also on july 27 09 .

I have been very open about the band and have no regrets - however - I am tight right now and it makes going out more difficult so I have found myself staying in more which sucks. Restaurants scare me right now because I worry that I'll get that un-comfortable stuck feeling from eating and I can only take a few bites of food.

I understand how hard this must be for you, and although I was one of "those" who told everyone - yup everyone I have had moments where I was scared of what I would eat, how I would eat, would I get stuck etc. when I went to a party, barbecue, out to a restaurant.

Those are still very scary thoughts to me.

But never was it because I didn't want someone to know that I had surgery, that was not an anxiety that I personally had - not saying that you do by the way.

Of course I am also one of those people who doesn't really give a rats arse what others think, if they see me eat something they think I shouldn't - whatever, people will always judge you no matter what, stand up and stand tall and if that doesn't work you can always flip them the bird and trot your skinny butt away

Each of us is a different person who will handle things in the best way we can, therapy is wonderful, talking it out can help put things in perspective. Good luck to you!