nolagirl2

I am right now trying to find ANYTHING to pay the bills. The economy is great for manual labor, service industry, etc. But anything professional is not so great. I'm talking to a temp agency tomorrow so hopefully that will at least bring some $$ in

Okay, girls, here's my confession... I have been utterly stressed out with the job search, money problems, etc. Last night I couldn't even fall asleep, I had to reassure myself by saying "It's all going to be OK" over and over again until the intense stress melted away. I woke up this morning and was talking to my mom about everything. The way things always work with my mom is I tell her my problems, she stresses me out more, and then later on in the day (anywhere from 15 minutes to two hours later) after she has talked it over with my dad, she is helpful and reassuring. It's just the way it is. But anyway, after talking to my mom, I ate. I started with a regular lunch - shrimp fajitas and queso. High-fat, but low-carb-good-carb. Then I had 2 frosted animal cookies. Then a low-carb ice cream bar. Then I grabbed like 15 more frosted animal cookies and another low-carb ice cream bar. I knew I was eating for the wrong reasons, but I didn't care. I ate about 2 of the cookies when my phone rang. It was a lady from a temp agency to set up an interview for tomorrow. As soon as my phone rang, I stopped eating the cookies and put away the other ice cream bar. But I know if my phone hadn't rung, I could have gone into a full-blown binge. I just feel so out-of-control in the rest of my life. Btw, we usually don't have junk food in the house, but my roommate's mom sent her a care package.

yup (tencharacterminimum)

You can buy turkey pepperoni at any grocery store. you have to microwave it yourself to make it crunchy

it is delicious. they're like spicy, meaty chips.

Turkey pepperoni that you cook in the microwave until its crispy!

32 oz. Water (32) Breakfast: 8-10 oz. Buffalo chicken Dip 24 oz water (56) 24 oz water (80) 24 oz water (94) Lunch: Shrimp fajita (no tortilla), sour cream, salsa, queso, black bean chips. Dessert: low-carb ice cream bar(6g) 24 oz water (118) Exercise: 30 minutes Denise Austin Cardio Dance 24 oz water (142) Dinner: Buffalo Chicken Dip (spoon)* Dessert: Another lc ice cream bar (6g) 24 oz water (166) *Finished off the buffalo chicken dip. It is supposed to yield about 4 cups, and it lasted 4 meals, so I guess I'm eating about a cup of it every time. I still have everything except the chicken, so I might make it again with canned chicken this time, and then eat it as a dip with pepperoni chips. that was my bright idea.

Haha well as much as I like being a part of a mysterious shadow group, I'd hate to be vexing!

Haha Hi P'Nut! It's Shawnee Mission Medical Center, where our surgeon's office (The Bariatric Center of Kansas City) is located.

32 oz. Water (32) Breakfast: 8-10 oz. Buffalo chicken Dip

goodnight!

haha. yeah i am picking hte back because hopefully it will be spared many of the ravages of age, weight loss, pregnancy, etc.

Have I told any of you what I want to do for my goal? Well its undecided when actually. I will start considering it when I've lost 100 lbs (at 233), and might wait until I am closer to goal, but I want to get a tattoo! i want it between my shoulder blades, of an oak tree. Here are some examples I think are pretty: http://www.wanderingfirepottery.com/12%20inch%20Oak%20tree.JPG http://www.siriusintelligentsystems.com/Houston%20Oaks/Photos/Oak%20Tree.JPG

I know!! unfortunately my DL doesnt expire until 2012!! once i hit goal i might need to go get a LA license just so i can be fabulous with the correct weight!

WTG Angela! I'm looking forward to the 230s. That's the weight it says on my drivers license, and I remember being at least 30 lbs higher when I wrote that down (you know, when I was 16!). So then i will be WAY smaller than I can remember in any recent years!

Ladies - that buffalo dip is from a recipe book that a woman on OH sent to me. I have only made the dip so far, but it was DELICIOUS. Send me your emails and I will forward you a PDF of the recipe book. The oh woman is also on here sometimes, but I don't remember her username. Something like willowbas or willoweas or something.

24 oz Water (96) Dinner: Shrimp fajita w/ sour cream & salsa, queso, and black bean chips. Snack: 2 oz. nuts

This morning I woke up and made this recipe right away: Buffalo chicken Dip About 14 oz. cooked chicken 1⁄4 cup hot sauce (NOT Tabasco...it would be toooo hot!) 8 oz. package reduced-fat cream cheese 1⁄2 c. sour cream 1 T. dry Ranch mix 1 cup 2 % cheddar cheese 1 can diced green chilies Mix it all up together and heat. I mixed it and took out what I wanted to eat. Heat in microwave in 30 second spurts...stir and heat until cheese is melted and dip is hot through. Pretty darned tasty and lots of protein! Makes 8 - 1⁄2 cup servings So here's my food for today: 24 oz Water (24) 8-10 oz. Buffalo Chicken Dip (ate w/ spoon) 24 oz water (48) 24 oz water (72) Lunch: 6-8 oz. Buffalo chicken dip, 4-6 oz. homemade guacamole (ate both with spoon)

Thanks, Diane, i appreciate the response. I know its something I'll have to deal with forever, but at least it's gotten a hell of a lot easier since banding!

haha enjoy celeb fit club. yes i am sooooo queso-bound robyn - why don't you try getting an iced coffee with SF syrup? Or you can order a "frappucino lite" with low-fat and low-sugar (i think made with splenda).

Thanks Robyn. Yeah I am just hoping to get the feelings out so I deal with them... I think I'm going to go to a meeting here tomorrow night. How was your day?

I wrote this yesterday when LBT was down: Today I read Augusten Burroughs memoir Dry, which details his struggle with alcoholism. And I couldn't put it down. Even though I wasn't relating to his experiences, there was resonance in me. I'm a food addict. Occasionally, I ignore this fact. But it doesn't go away. For the past month or so, I have been doing whatever I wanted - band or no band. I ate carbs and junk food (even fast food on two separate occasions - both times made me feel like hell). I didn't exercise (except maybe twice in the course of a month). I sat around and read, or watched tv. But I ate bad food, ate too much, ate too often, and didn't move unless I was going to the fridge. So finally, about a week ago, I realized that I needed to stop this. I am only halfway (at most) through this process. I still have a good chunk of weight that I want to lose. So why did I stop trying? In the course of that month, I gained 3 lbs. Luckily, I have since lost those 3 lbs, and 2 more to boot. I started eating only 3 meals a day (with option of 1-2 Snacks if necessary, but I try to avoid them and keep them snack-sized, like 1-2 oz). I am keeping up with my Water (at least a gallon a day). And I have exercised the past three days in a row. My problem is... I try to pretend that I'm not a food addict. I go out with friends and eat what they eat. I buy things that sound delicious from the grocery store, instead of just the food I need. I started eating more soft foods, which go down easier. I stopped weighing myself regularly. And I stopped losing weight. So this is what's difficult. An addict is an addict. They say the first step is to admit you are powerless before your addiction. But how are you supposed to admit you are powerless before food? And am I truly powerless? Haven't I spent the last few months trying to learn how to eat? Even in my monthlong what-have-you, I didn't binge. I ate my Protein first. I didn't eat a whole meal of Pasta and french fries. I didn't make good choices, but I didn't eat the absolute worst things for me. But then again, there were moments. Moments I ate a pastry that I didn't want/need. Moments that I sat there even when I wanted to exercise. Moments that I knew I wasn't hungry, but I continued to eat. And those moments are always there, no matter what I'm doing. Even in the past week, doing as well as I have, I'm still compelled to keep eating, after I finish my meal. A handful of nuts, a bite of cheese. I've started to love chewable Vitamins, because its one more thing I get to eat at the end of two meals per day. So how do I fix this? What do I do? I don't know. So far my only answer is just to do the best I can.

Here's the updated food for today. http://www.lapbandtalk.com/showpost.php?p=285836&postcount=35 It's #35 on this thread. I am committed to not eating anything more today except a SF Jello if I need a snack later. So let her rip. I did do a nice, serious workout. That denise austin dvd definitely gets me sweating. I ordered a bunch of low-carb food on netrition.com - low carb tortillas, instant mashers, pizza crust, chocolate bars, Pasta. i'll let you know how it is when it gets here. anybody else out there?

BTW robn, looks like you kicked butt yesterday. 88 oz of water? Woohoo!! I'm telling you, it's so much easier to just use water bottles and count from those. I like the 24 oz. because they're not too little and not too big. And once you hit 3, you're already over the mark!

i would say i've had the same problems. the lucky thing (for me) is this - i've never lost 76 lbs. before. i've never dieted myself to a normal weight. so even though in my head i fear failure and think i'll stay fat forever, i know i've never come this far before. i only wish i had gotten the band back in high school/first year of college when i was the weight i am now. i find myself so jealous of people who only have a total of 80-100 lbs. to lose. Having 150+ lbs to lose really just maeks me feel like I'll never truly have the body I want. I mean, I know I can get to 180 or so eventually. But the more I think about it, the more I want to be around 150. Yikes.