I'm so sorry you are going through this! Complications after surgery are so frustrating and discouraging... One thing to remember, anesthesia can cause depression after surgery. It doesn't last forever, but it can really depress your mood and have you feeling low. So remember to give yourself some grace during this period. You just had major surgery and your body is fighting off an infection, snuggle up on the couch with your feet up, hydrate well, and only get up for short walks to keep your circulation up.
After I had a hysterectomy for cancer I really didn't understand what "go slowly" was until my body fought back and I ended up with a bladder infection from the catheter. When they say slow they mean SLOW! One thing that really helped me was someone on a forum saying "You only heal ONCE!" That really hit home for me. You only heal from this surgery once, so be sure to lavish as much care on yourself as you would your best friend. It seems like forever now but you'll be through this soon! ❤️