bitteroldhag

I think you are too young to be taking care of your mother like this. At least I'm old. Also, your mother is 2 years older than I am!!! I had the lapband as a reward to myself for taking care of mother for so long. I know she'd take care of me if things were reversed. In fact, she did stay with me when I had heart surgery years ago. She stayed in my room at the hospital and stayed at home with me during the worst part. I remember she and my aunt who died of Alzheimer's at 85 took me for my first outdoor walk around the back yard. They were both in their 70s and I was 45, but I walked like I was 100. In a few weeks though I could really walk. Six months later, Mother had heart surgery and my brother and I went to Illinois for that and he stayed with her since I had to get back to school. But he lived with her and she waited on him. It's not the same. Also he never sends money or anything else. He always says he doesn't have any money though he makes a fortune. Mother has her own money though so that isn't a big problem. What I'm really interested in is whether this sort of stress causes cortisol to rise and keeps me from losing weight. I lost 35 pounds in about 4 months and then nothing. Maybe I just eat too much. Has anyone had their cortisol tested?

I hope your soon is better. I don't stay at the hospital all the time with mother. I'm too antsy and I drive her crazy. I don't have any help since my brother lives in Colorado and mother doesn't really need to be in the nursing home yet since she's generally quite sane. She just can't walk very well and won't do physical therapy so she could walk. I'm pretty physically unfit anyway, but it's nice to hear that stress caused someone else to gain weight. Maybe that is the problem with my band. Thanks.

I certainly expect God to do something for me in the future. We have discussed this before, but I was just wondering about the cortisol thing since I haven't lost weight lately and I don't think I'm overeating though I might be stress eating. My mother is in pretty good shape though she has visited the hospital a lot lately. She knows all the workers on the 2nd floor since she goes so often. But I think they may get her straightened out. Carlene -- While your mother was a pain, she didn't live with you. Mine does and I'm the servant--constantly--in my own house--for years now. I guess I just get tired, but a lot of the folks who contribute to this forum seem to be able to worry only about themselves and have help. That must be nice. Having one's own life must be nice. But I guess some of us just have to bite the bullet and expect big things from God.

I'm wondering if anyone else out there is a caregiver for an elderly person. I have been taking care of my 86 year old mother for over 5 years and it's really stressful. I gained about 30 pounds during this time so the 35 pounds I've lost have put me back about where I was before I began taking care of Mother. She has been in the hospital 4 times in the last 6 weeks and in the nursing home for about 2-3 weeks. Even this is stressful since I have to visit often and try to make sure she's happy. She isn't. I don't exercise much because I'm simply pooped. I work and take care of mother and the 7 animals and I poop out. I will be 60 years old next year and I'm tired. I would appreciate hearing from any caregivers out there. Having the band and being a caregiver is quite a lot of responsibility and sometimes I feel overwhelmed. I am upset because I haven't lost any weight in several months. My friend from Ohio, whose husband is about to die, has the same problem. He needs an intestinal transplant but won't do it. We have the suspicion that our caregiving may be interfering with our weight loss and I'd like to hear if anyone else out there has this problem. We are both in our 50s and age makes a difference I guess. But I would appreciate some happy advice. I often recommend the eldercareforum so I think there are some other caregivers out there. I'd like to hear about their weight loss. Thanks.:cry

My 18 year old self was utterly obnoxious. I knew everything. Now that I'm nearing 60, I know that I don't know anything. But I think she'd be surprised that I had two major depressions which added a whole lot of pounds, that I got a Ph.D. and taught in college for 23 years, that I'm taking care of my mother who was taking care of me then, and above all, that I never got married. I don't know why. It just never worked out. At 18, I fully intended to get married and have kids, but I just didn't. I was engaged 7 times, but never got married. I think I had fear of commitment. In college a guy told me I was there to get my Mrs. degree, but he was supremely wrong. I don't think I'll ever get married. I sort of regret not having kids, but I have been free to do what I wanted most of my life and that is good. I do know that my 18 year old self would be seriously distressed to know that I weigh 185 pounds after losing 35 pounds. I weighed 105 pounds my freshman year in college due to unusually lousy food in the cafeteria though I usually weighed around 125 pounds in my youth. My, how times change. I havenoticed that one of my colleagues seems to be interested in me. I don't know what to do. He's a very nice guy though he has no chin. I'm just not used to guys being interested in me. Maybe I'll start a new thread about this.:xena_banana:

I think I should point out that during the land runs in Oklahoma, some folks got a head start and they were called sooners. So Oklahoma is the Sooner State and the University of Oklahoma teams are called Sooners. I have a little dissertation on NSU's new name for our teams. We are now the Riverhawks. I wonder if the ladies' basketball players will be called the Lady Hawks. They used to be called the Lady Reds. Sexist language has been officially banished at NSU.

By the way, I forgot to mention our new mascot which is the Riverhawk. We can't use Redmen anymore since some Indians bitched about it even though our town is the capitol of the Western Cherokee Nation. We figure that riverhawks won't bitch too much. I'm not even sure what a riverhawk is. I wanted the Green Knights after Gawain and the Green Knight which is an old English story. I figured no green knights would gripe since they are pretty much defunct. But we are now the Riverhawks. I guess that's because we have a river and a lot of hawks.

I use bitteroldhag as a moniker because one of my students called me a bitter old hag on ratemyprofessor.com. It hurt my feelings at first but then I figured that kid didn't do too well in my class so I adopted it for my internet name. My real name is Sharon and I'm 59 years old and would like to be thinner though I've only gotten to 185 pounds (down from 220). I take care of 7 animals and my 86 year old mother and teach a full load at Northeastern State University in Oklahoma. Boo, Sooners and Cowboys.

I'm not having much trouble with my students these days since I instituted my "Be rude to the professor and fail" policy. But people who are generally angry tend to take it out on people who are in public. So teachers get the brunt of a lot of anger that really isn't related to them at all. I think sales clerks get a lot of this. I have been nasty to sales clerks so I will now have to wear a hairshirt for the rest of my days. However, self-centered obnoxious people need to be told off. I'm glad you didn't donate anything to that woman's club. Ingrates do abound though.

I went shopping for smaller clothes (well, not that much smaller) and ran into the size problem. I may be able to wear and XL in one blouse but have to get a 2X in another one. I got size 16 pants and they fit, but I got some size 14 stretch jeans and they fit too. I read an editorial about this lately and it seems that men's clothes are made to measurements, but women's clothes are all over the place. Some clothes makers like Alfred Dunner make really big clothes so you can get a small size even though the clothes really aren't that small. It's all very confusing and it takes a lot of time trying on clothes which I loathe. So I just buy stuff from ebay (big surprise,huh?) and either it fits, or I wear it anyway. I got my mother an expensivef 2x cashmere sweater several years ago for Christmas. She put in a drawer and forgot about it, but I decided I was going to get it out and wear it. It has little holes all over it. Apparently silverfish eat cashmere. I just love the sweater because it's lightweight but warm, but I guess I'll just wear it to the grocery store. However, I bought myself two used cashmere sweaters on ebay and I will just keep them in the freezer. Silverfish don't like freezers.

Gads. That is terrible. I sure hope no one decides to shoot Dr. Rodriguez. It is a shame when someone kills a lapband doctor because they are doing a whole lot of good for the world.

I went to Dr. Arturo Rodriguez in Monterrey, Mexico, and it was great. His staff takes care of the patients the whole time they are there and the big hospital is better than any hotel I've every stayed in and I've stayed in some big name hotels. Everything is granite and marble with gold faucets in the bathroom. The nursing service is superb. So I also recommend Dr. Rodriguez. Make sure it's the right Dr. His name is Arturo Rodriguez.

This info is fascinating. In my own lifetime, we have seen the invention of or the heavy use of TV, microwave ovens, everything digital, computers, central air conditioning, indoor bathrooms for nearly everyone, dishwashers, refrigerators with freezers, automatic washing machines and dryers, heartworm pills for dogs, CAT scans, MRIs, various other medical advances, the eradication of polio, the advent of AIDS, space flight, missiles, eradication of smallpox, tonsillitis, and diphtheria, the internet. The invention of fleece clothes, polyester clothes, polyester blend clothes. Well, there are just too many to mention. Growing up, my mother didn't have electricity or an indoor john in her house, nor did they have running water and sewer systems (they lived on the country). We have two bathrooms for two people. In fact my grandparents didn't have running water or indoor toilets during their lifetimes though they had electricity and propane. When my parents bought them a TV, they thought it was the greatest thing ever. Most people have multiple TVs now and still can't find anything to watch. We didn't get a TV until I was 6 and my brother wouldn't undress in front of the TV because he thought they could see him. I remember TV in black and white. We got a color TV in my teens. This was my fault because color TVs were crappy when they first came out and I told my parents to wait until they got better before getting one. They got a cast off color TV from a friend. My first calculator was about the size of a paperback book and cost $75. My latest calculator, which is powered by light, is the size of half a graham cracker and cost under $20. It's flatly amazing how advanced we became in the 20th century, but as Erich Fromm says, we are still paleolithic people with lots of gadgets. It's how we use these things that counts.

I really think stress has something to do with my lack of weight loss, not to mention the 1/4 bag of Fritos I just ate. I can't eat in the morning at all so I have a Protein drink. But by evening, I can eat and I do. Sergeant doesn't seem to be terribly hurt. I gave him some dog painkiller and he's up and limping around. But I don't think he's peed or pooped all day. I slept on the couch all night with him and it just about killed my back. Luckily, I didn't have to be at school until 2 p.m. today so I finally went to bed in my bed and got some sleep. I note that my back hurts when I'm stressed which is about all the time. But while Mother was in the nursing home, it hurt less. In fact, it didn't hurt at all for a couple of days. I've been totally stressed out for over 5 years now, so I guess I can go on though the back thing is getting problematical. I'm sure glad you read all my bitching and groaning. The ice and snow we had didn't help a hell of a lot either. They promised me they wouldn't let mother out of the hospital in bad weather and yet it was sleeting when they called to tell me to pick her up. I took my old Cadillac and slid around in a major intersection. It was supposed to get much worse (and it did) so I told them to hurry. They said they'd have her ready to go in 45 minutes. They didn't, but I was so bitchy since they'd welshed on the deal, that I did get her out in about 15 minutes. I told them I'd remove her IVs myself if they didn't step on it. Then we drove 20 mph all the way home. I had to put de-icer on the ramp at the door to get her in the house. But I made a fire and turned on the Christmas lights and she was snug as could be. That was a few days ago and I'm the slave again now. They served her crushed ice in the hospital so now I have to make her crushed ice 2 or 3 times a day. Clases are over this week and I long ago figured out how to avoid having to give a lot of finals, so next week should be nice and restful. I am looking forward to having almost a month off. People don't realize that the long vacations are not for the kids, but the teachers. We are all pooped and spring is the long semester. I'm usually nearly dead by the end of spring semester. Anyway, thanks Carlene for listening to my venting. Boy, I hope to be as slim as you someday, but I don't know. You don't look like you're in your late 50s. I do.

My little puppy just came in whining and crying. I think he may have broken his elbow. I gave him a pain killer. The vet doesn't have any painkillers but I gave him hydrocodone ( a very small amount) and he seems to be going to sleep. He's very bad about chasing cars, but I didn't hear a car before he got hurt. I'm wondering if some big dog hurt him. I'm most upset since he's such a devil-may-care happy dog that I hate for him to be hurt. I will call the vet tomorrow, but I'm telling you, I'm getting overwrought taking care of mother and 7 animals, plus working. That's probably why I had the mini-stroke a couple of weeks ago. I don't think I can take care of the world anymore. I'm really getting tired though Mother and the animals were doing well until just a few minutes ago. I wonder if this stress is why I'm at a plateau in weight loss.

I have found that my dogs are exceptionally good at eating anything dropped on the floor. I cannot recommend dogs highly enough. They are excellent cleaner-uppers. Unfortunately I can't take them to other people's parties. On the other hand, most of my friends have several dogs so they may be aware of the awesome ability of dogs to clean everything up.

When I was working on my Ph.D. I would do a paper a week for the last 3-4 weeks of school. I had it scheduled and I'd do the research early so I'd be ready for the writing. You need to schedule everything out and GET SOME SLEEP!!! If you get organized, you can do this, but not if you stay disorganized. Next semester, make a schedule. I would never have lived through it if I hadn't done that. Also understand that you will work about 110% during graduate school. I used to get up and study until I had to go to school to teach my classes and then study until 10 p.m. when I watched Dr. Who (totally non-intelligent), drank two beers and went to bed. Then I'd get up and do that same thing the next day. I used to knock off at 4 p.m. on Saturday, clean the house and drink until 10 p.m. This is not the best weight loss plan, however, so maybe you can think of something else to reward yourself on Saturday night. I used to begrudge the time I wasted going to the grocery store which was about an hour a week. I once took about 4 grocery sacks of books back to the libary at one time. Graduate studies are hard, but if you love the subject, it's worth it. One who has been there....

I can't believe it. I wore a size 11 when I weighed 125 pounds. If I could wear a size 12 again, I'd be thrilled beyond measure.

I think I've only lost 35 pounds since May 2006. It's probably because I have a lot of stress with mother and the 7 animals and school, but also I cheat. The idea of the lapband was not to have to diet ever again, so I'm happy with my current weight loss though I hope to lose more. I have finally figured out how to avoid PBs. I think PBs were my biggest problem this fall because I couldn't eat much of anything, so my body thought it was starving. But since I've determined that if I cut food to about the size of my index fingernail and chew at least 30 times, it goes down, I think I may lose a little more. I haven't exercised much. I decided to get an MP 3 player and dance. That lasted a week before I got some disease and was sick for 3 weeks. So I'm going to try that again. I absolutely hate exercise in any form, but I do like to dance. I wonder how much cortisol from stress affects weight loss.

I have lost 35 pounds and now can wear somewhat smaller clothes. I get really nice clothes on eBay. I like Leslie Fay clothes and have gotten some really nice stuff online. I also go to Goody's since our thrift stores don't have the stuff I need to wear to school. I'm so thrilled because I got some size 14 stretchy jeans at Goody's and they stretch out so that they are loose! I have gone from size 20 to size 18 blouses and they fit wonderfully. I highly recommend eBay for clothes. I have gotten some VERY expensive clothes pretty cheap on eBay. I got a Pendleton jacket for $32 and several nice Leslie Fay outfits for under $25. I have no problem wearing other people's clothes. Now I just hope I can get even thinner so I can shop some more on eBay.

I expect to die of lung cancer or something equally horrible before long and that's okay with me since I don't want to live to be 86 like my mother. I smoke a lot and it helps me relax. I get a bit irritated with folks who are "holier than thou," especialy ex-smokers who think anyone can quit at any time. Maybe they are right, but I don't want to quit. I like smoking even though I am pariah everywhere. By the way, my 86 year old mother smokes and has for 46 years. She's still ticking.

Frankly, I don't believe all this stuff. I was 59 when I was banded. I haven't lost as much weight as the younger folks, but I'm happy with the 35 pounds I've lost. I consider this age discrimination and it irritates me. We can never generalize to the whole population based on a limited study though if one is older than 70 one might want to rethink banding. For those in their 60s and in good health, I think banding is quite possible.

Ah, the clear drinks idea --that's very good. Maybe some others have some party suggestions. It's always difficult to stand on food when I drop it, so I could use some suggestions about that. Usually I pick it up and manage to spill more while I'm stooping down. I have noticed that I'm getting like my mother. If I go out to eat, I always drip stuff on my chest. I think it's because my boobs stick out, but they are so droopy at my age that may not be it. It could be that I'm a slob. At any rate, mother has finally gotten to the point that she just tucks her napkin in her neckline and that solves the food on the chest problem, but doesn't do much for the food in the lap situation. Luckily I rarely eat out after the lapband, and when I drop food, the dogs scarf it up immediately. They are so lovely to have around as disposals.

I'm the bitteroldhag and my name is Sharon. Who is Pat?

I used to be like you. I used to care whether my students succeeded or not. I've taught in higher ed for 23 years and I've finally figured out that THEY have to care if they succeed. I still want them to succeed, but it's not my problem if they don't try hard enough. A word to the wise: Make sure your syllabus says "This syllabus is subject to change as needed." A guy at OU got sued because the student said he didn't cover everything on his syllabus. Also put in a section on courtesy. Mine reads something like this: "Students are expected to be courteous to the instructor and other students. Students who are unable to be courteous will fail the course." I make a big point of that on the first day so they know I'll fail them if they decide to take out their anger on me, which has happened twice. I have thrown rude students out of my class and told them to go to the Admin Bldg and drop the course because they didn't have a chance. I've thrown sleeping students out of class. But those are the troublemakers. Most students are majoring in fun, as Carlene says. I did that as an undergraduate but got real serious when I was older and paying for my own education. I have very high GPAs for my M.A. and Ph.D. I worked like a dog. I just let my students who are majoring in fun have fun. Then they either get serious or flunk out. This semester half of my Comp. I class quit coming. Either I'll have a lot of Fs or a lot of drops. Often the freshmen don't know to drop the course. But we have all agreed that we had the worst crop of freshmen this semester in years. We have had worse, but this bunch was bad. I have found that athletes and Greek kids are not necessarily bad students. Some of them are very good, so I cut them a little slack if necessary. But at our school, if athletes cut your class you just call the coach. I have had coaches personally escort athletes to class. The NCAA is getting really snotty these days. If you are feeling particularly cranky, I recommend Rate Your Students, a good site where you can let off steam. Meanwhile, thanks for teaching. It takes special people to teach, and the general public doesn't know that. Kudos to you.:clap2: