bitteroldhag

I asked my question in the title. I'm not very good with numbers. In fact, I persecuted math professors for years asking why quadratic equations even existed. Finally, with my freshmen, I figured out that zero doesn't mean nothing. It was an amazing breakthrough for me. But how DO you figure out the percentage of fat?

I read your NSVs and I'm going to start keeping a list. As of now I have these: 1. I can wear a size 18 instead of a size 22. 2. I can cross my legs. 3. I can move around a lot more easily and when I walk, I walk fast. 4. I can fit into those dinky desks at the Big U. 5. People have noticed my weight loss. 6. I am going to buy new clothes because my old ones are too big. 7. I am not huffing and puffing as much as I did. 8. My ankles don't make strange noises when I walk downstairs. I haven't tried running upstairs and I may not. I'm getting old and I feel that when one is over 50 one should get to use the elevator. But in the elevator, there are a lot of fat young people who are huffing and puffing and are fatter than I am! Amazing! 9. I have no problem waiting on Mother. I wait on Mother like a servant and it's easier now. 10. I have lost about 35 pounds overall, and that's okay if I keep feeling well. We have lots of people around here who look much worse than me, poor devils. 11. I have hope that eventually I will lose all 70 pounds. I will not give up hope.

God, when I think I have it bad, someone always has it worse. I do hope the brain tumor can be removed soon. I haven't had many NSVs lately. In fact, my M.A. program has been the subject of much criticism so work doesn't help much. But I'm going to quit running that program. If Mother goes to the nursing home, maybe I can calm down but I'm seriously worried about getting her settled there and the cost of the place. I will check your NSV list. I really appreciate people like you.

I'm glad someone else has the same problems I have. Today I was terribly upset because the doctor thinks mother should go into the nursing home though not because she's so ill. She's starting to have Alzheimer's and that is upsetting because my aunt had it for 10 long years before she died. We will be financially devastated because, while mother has nursing home insurance and her retirement income, the nursing home uses their own medicine and I suspect it's very expensive. My brother is not very reliable regarding money, so I suspect I'll end up paying though my friend suggested I just have a certain amount debited from his bank account every month. I think Mother needs to go, but it's very difficult to admit defeat. So I'm having all sorts of problems with the band. I don't think it's the band, but sheer stress. I certainly am thankful that someone else has these problems, though I handle mother by myself. I don't have any help except home health. An aide comes twice a week to bathe mother and cheer her up. A nurse comes on occasion and I do the rest. Thanks for your compassion. People who haven't had to take care of old people don't have any idea what it is like.

I was in high school, a junior, and I lived in Texas. I was so callow that I was embarrassed that it happened in Texas. But that day is etched in my memory. 9/11 is also etched in my memory as is the Challenger disaster which most people have forgotten. But I remember because a teacher was on board the space shuttle when it blew up. I figured that that is the lot of teachers -- always a lot of sh*t and no glory. It's good to know that a few banders are older.

Why didn't I think of this? Dr. Rodriguez is super nice and will probably help me. I'll email him. thanks.

What is an NSV? I suspect I may be secreting cortisol since Mother has been in the hospital twice in one week and the dog still has mange and people in my department are seriously upset about the unwonted changes to the M.A. program so now I have to have a meeting where everyone will be irritated. My clothes do seem to be bigger. In fact, I'm going to the clothes sales this week to get some in a smaller size. I got a size 18 Leslie Fay knit suit and it fits perfectly. Size 20 is way too big and I used to wear a 22. So I'm gaining on the weight, but I would like to see some improvement now. I don't exercise enough because I'm nearly 60 and it hurts. I suspect if I was 35, it would be easier to exercise. But I walk at school since I have to hike to my building and hike back up a hill. I still am trying to dance a little, but the last time I did it, I ended up sitting on a heating pad for days. Maybe if I know what an NSV is, it will help me psychologically. Thanks for the help.

I can hardly wait to see or read this. It sounds like fun. All the guys at the Big U say we should do penis monologues, but no one has written the play until these guys did it. Thanks for letting me know about this.:omg:

Good heavens, you can have pilonidal cysts removed! They are often massively ingrown hairs which says a lot about Rush's tushie. But sometimes they have teeth and other stuff in them. My uncle was very hairy and had a pilonidal cyst removed. His butt felt a lot better. But he got out of the army by having high blood pressure when he was about 18. He died at 49. Rush is a bottom-scraping, loud-mouthed, obnoxious scumbag, but he still lives in a big house and his doc prescribes all the pills he wants. I still want to be the democratic scumbag though I don't know if I can stoop as low as these people do. Still it seems pretty simple -- get really angry and aim all of one's hatred toward the other political party and let loose. I think TOM would be really good at this but he relies on things like facts. Rush and group don't worry about facts. And, TOM, you are right. The righties parrot Rush all the time. One wonders what happened to their brains. My brother's is awash in alcohol, but they can't all be alcoholics, can they?

What is first class? The planes I fly on don't have first class. But someday I'm going to go somewhere in first class. I don't know where, maybe to Oklahoma City, but I'm going. I'm always in the sardine can class.

My mother is really short. She was 5'2" years ago but she shrank as she aged. I think she's under 5 feet now. Anyway, I find that capri pants are the perfect length for her. So I get those and they fit. Koret, Sag Harbor and Leslie Fay also have petite sizes. I am 5'6" and I can't wear Leslie Fay long-sleeved petites because the sleeves come about 2 inches above my wrists. So I only get Leslie Fay petites in summer. By the way, I read today that some women are so skinny that they have had to come up with a size 00 which is smaller than a size 0. Most of the skinny women I know wear a size 8 though I knew one who wore a size 4. I wore a size 5 in the old days before they made the sizes bigger. Man, I must have been thin! I'm sure glad they made the sizes bigger because my goal is to get to a size 16. I'm at an 18 now, so assuming I ever lose anymore weight, maybe I'll make the goal. My real dream is size 14. If it's good enough for Marilyn Monroe, it's good enough for me.:biggrin1:

TOM -- Come home to rants and raves. You are always fun to read and knowing how you think, I'm not surprised your voice recognition software argued with you. But you can write and that's pretty unusual. I'd love to have you in my freshman comp. class. Come to think of it, you may be in there.

I have stayed the same weight for 3 weeks now. I can barely eat. I throw up a lot because I get hungry and eat too fast. I'm depressed about it. I would give anything just to lose two pounds. But no. Is there some sort of plateau that a person hits? If so, how long does it last? Today my friend hugged me because it was cold and said that the bigger they are the warmer they are. That was depressing. He didn't mean to insult me, but he did. It seems that however hard I try, nothing happens. I have 4.5 cc in my band and I just don't lose any weight, but I'm afraid to add more because I throw up too much now. I take care of my 86 year old mother who isn't doing too well and my dog has mange, but he's getting better. I'm getting a lot poorer. Could stress affect this? I just don't know but I had really hoped to lose more by now. I have lost about 35 pounds, but I need to lose another 35 pounds. I want to be pretty again even though I'm too old to really be pretty. But I had such hopes and I'm depressed now about it. No one has to answer this. I just wanted to purge the old feelings. Thanks for letting me vent.:cry

I'd like to know why tired old man isn't posting. I like Tired Old Man. He always raises interesting questions though I know some folks don't want to consider interesting questions. I do. I want Tired Old Man back.

I think it's clear to anyone who is sane that Rush Limbaugh and Ann Coulter are making money hand over fist by simply being obnoxious. It amazes me that anyone would take them seriously, other than my brother whose head is stuffed so far up his colon that it would take a bomb to get it out. He used to be intelligent, but Rush and Ann have destroyed his last brain cells. I think we should get an obnoxious democrat or libertarian or someone to counter Rush and Ann. I would be happy to make all that money, so I'm volunteering to be the obnoxious Democrat. Then I could retire and just go on the radio for an hour a day and be stupid. That would be wonderful. Why didn't I think of this before!

We aren't having elections until Nov. 7 and I will vote as usual. It's lucky that the polling place is on my way to work. What are you all voting on so early?

A couple I work with have a big halloween party every year, and people go all out on their costumes. This year I'm going to be an elderly geisha with white face paint, a geisha wig complete with chopsticks with tassels and my chinese robe I bought for an incredible amount of money in England. I got some little Chinese brocade shoes since I figured I couldn't walk in the geisha shoes and I'll wear some white support socks for hose since geisha wear white socks. It should be fun dressing up. I always love dressing up on Halloween. I once griped about New Yorkers who were dressing like lumberjacks at the time and he said that people like to pretend they are someone else. It was a good point. So this year I'll pretend I'm a geisha. When I was little, we went all over our end of town trick or treating. We had a couple who cooked hot dogs in their garage and everyone went there. We used to fill up big grocery bags with candy, popcorn balls, apples and all sorts of good stuff. We loved it. Our parents never went with us. It's sort of a shame that parents have to chaperone now but the kids still get a lot of candy and goodies and a good time is had by all. I don't get many kids in our neighborhood. We used to get oodles, but they built a new subdivision next to us so the kids go to the rich people's houses and not ours anymore. We live out in the country in a small subdivision so the country kids used to come here. But I buy a bag of assorted candy and give each kid about 5 pieces so I won't eat them myself. It's a shame we don't get more kids these days.

I just thought we might discuss Vagina Monologues which I have been in twice and directed once. It's an interesting play. We have done it at the big U since 2001 and people always show up for it. Lots of men like it, but the big audience is older women. They just love it because it speaks for them. Eve Ensler can't write a whole sentence so we have to mess around with the script a bit, but it's really a powerful play. It was hell to direct it. I have never directed a play before and I didn't know what all was involved. It took a whole lot of time, but people say it's the best one yet. We even had musicians from my church (Unitarian) who played Irish music. We had some powerful actresses too. One, who was pregnant and had breast cancer, did the domatrix and she was wonderful. We had a lesbian gal do the angry vagina which I did in the past though I'm not lesbian. She brought down the house. I also brought down the house when I did it. I think I was typecast. We did the Comfort Women about the women whom the Japanese army used for sex in WWII. They are irritated about that. Our rendition was so powerful that people cried. They were really angry about that. We had a bunch of guys who did the lighting and ran the lights during the performance. They loved doing it. I think we should push this play. If you have a chance, go see it. It's pretty liberating though we have had some guys force their girls to leave because they found it irritating. Those are the guys the girls should avoid. We sold chocolate vaginas and sold out immediately. We also sold boas and fun stuff for women and made quite a lot of money. We had raffles for baskets and stuff and one lady won 3 of them! I told her we weren't going to give her anymore even if she won. My pseudo-son, Joe, ran the raffles and wore the tiara in his thinning hair (he's nearly 40) the tiara was the big event. It was really fun. I got the tiaras and boas on ebay for cheap. The women loved the boas which we sold for $5. They only cost about $3.50 so we made money for our charities. We support the local battered women's shelter and the CASA program for kids. Of course, the event cost me about $500 and my producer, Connie, spent about $300. But it was worth it. I recommend that community theatres do Vagina Monologues. Interestingly, we have never done a big advertising campaign, yet the first year we did it, wedid a Friday performance and had to do a second performance on Saturday because we filled up the theatre for the first performance. That was exhausting. But the audience loved it and we didn't even have really good actresses. Most of the men loved it and the women went wild. I hope you get a chance to see this play or take part in it. We do reader's theatre since my friend and I were too damned old to memorize our parts but it worked anyway. What do you all think?

I think you are misinformed. What kind of band do you have? If you have the Swedish like mine, the max is about 7.5 cc. I have 4.5 cc and it's working very well except for that unfortunate episode this evening. Check to see what size band you have and go from there. If you have the other type of band, you can only have a few ccs in it. I like the big old Swedish one. My friend got hers filled to 7.5 ccs and had a whole lot of trouble. She had to get it unfilled and is starting again. I recommend slow filling. It's a lot less trouble and will eventually work. I had to have mine filled 4 times before it started working. Now I have lost 36 pounds and it works very well, most of the time. But I asked about how to know when to fill the band and the doc told me when I'm always hungry or when I quit losing weight. I don't recommend having surgery to replace the band. Let us know what type you have.

This is definitely ketosis. It will go away. You are entering the starvation stage and the body reacts with ketosis. If you get those little ketosis sticks at the drugstore and check you urine, you wil probably find you are in ketosis. But I think it goes away. It's been 6 months since my surgery and no one is griping about bad breath though I suspect that if I go into ketosis again, I'll have bad breath. I'd rather have that than be fso fat. I think it's just part of losing weight. So good for you. You are losing!!

Holy Moley! Tonight I had the worst experience since I got the band. My esophagus completely shut down with a spasm. It was awful. I was spitting up slime and threw up about 3 times and my chest felt awful. I had only eaten a little chicken. I know it was chewed up well because I could tell when it came back up. But this was a stressful day. I had to take mother to the hospital because she was severely anemic, apparently from some long-term bleeding from someplace. The doc thinks 3 units of blood will help. I wonder if esophageal spasms can be aggravated by stress. I also have a puppy with mange, many papers to grade, and the general problems of life though I managed to go to the grocery store today and got out for less than $100!:faint: I took a nitroglycerin and some stomach muscle relaxers (I have irritable bowel syndrome) and it worked. It took a while but it worked and I was able to eat later. How much does stress affect esophageal spasm?

I have become hardened to the c-word for the vagina due to Vagina Monologues. The first time I did it, I was the Angry Vagina and brought the house down. But I had a hard time saying pussy. It just wasn't in my vocabulary. The director insisted that I say pussy so after doing the play twice, I got used to it and can say it with no problem. We have a whole section on the c-word which is hilarious. It ends with the whole audience shouting the c-word. Also someone brought in something that said that the c-word means goddess. I don't think it's true, but I like the idea. Still I don't use that word outside of the play. And if a man uses it, he's toast.

We do Vagina Monologues every year at the big U. Last year I directed it. There is a whole section at the beginning about what people call their vagina. Personally I call it my crotch, but there are some really funny names, especially coochie snortcher. People are starting to approach me about directing it again this year, but I'm saying no. Once is enough. Boy that was tiring. But I can say I've directed a play.

That's another thing. I have the fecal exam when I have the pap smear. I have never failed one, but still had a big polyp. So much for fecal exams.

I yeah. I remember the prep. My poor butt hurt for a week, and it didn't even clean everything out. I have irritable bowel syndrome which messed that up. But everything except the very top was clean as a whistle.