TheGh0st

Now that I have my pre-op pics from the doctor I thought I'd start this thread. I have learned so much watching Julie and Puddin I wanted to follow their example and share my journey as well. I am posting my surgical pre-op photos below but am leaving my before/current photos of my clothed self off this thread for now. Somehow that makes me feel just a little more exposed on this thread. Silly I know since my photos are already on several other threads.

OK after that vent - there is one thing that I do think can help if not cure some sagging skin problems. I know it sounds crazy but deep and vigorous tissue massage can help firm up the skin a bit. I saw something on TV about 3 months ago on a woman that was very skinny but had loose skin on her stomach that looked a bit like those elephant ankles you get with loose nylons. After 8-weeks of intense massage that she described as nearly painful her stomach was flat. Unfortunately they did not mention how frequently or how long the treatments were during the 8 weeks. It sounded VERY fishy to me but I'd just got a 4.5K quote on my "bye-bye" arms at the PS something I can't imagine paying just for my arms. So I thought why not just give it a try. In the spirit of scientific discovery I only massaged one arm. I would massage my arm several times each day. Each time only for approx 1-2 minutes. I would rub my upper arm as hard as I could, usually hard enough to turn the skin pink. Surprisingly I thought I could see a difference within just a few days. After the first couple weeks I stopped doing it as regulaly as I was at the beginning. It's been 8 weeks now that I've been doing it to just the one arm and that arm is now 3" smaller than the other arm. I have a pre-op appointment with my PS in a couple more weeks. It will be the first time he has seen me since he gave me the unsolicited quote for my arms. I can't wait to show him the difference. Then I'll start working on the other arm as well. I never could have afforded spending over 4K on my arms and even though 3" is not enough for me to like my arm, it is enough to make it more bearable. Hopefully enough so that I won't obsess over them in the years to come. And if I'm lucky maybe if I combine the massage with weight lifting and plain old time they will get even better. I've posted a pic below. Mind you I can't imaging any amount of massage having got rid of the stomach skin I have now. Maybe if I'd done it everyday for the last 2 years but not now.

Ready - Wasa might be able to answer better with her medical background but my own opinion is yes you might fare better than some. From what I understand the ones who fare the best are young with a naturally darker skin tones, such as latin/south american, medditeranean or african. Factors that make it worse are pre-existing strech marks, age, and fairer complexions. So my being nearly 40 with strech marks from my upper chest down nearly to my knees, and a red-head with skin so white it's like to glow in the dark, I was bound to need PS from the start. To possibly be more graphic than some would like I am now a size 10 and my deflated "pannis" or as I call it my personal fanny pack. hangs down so far that if I put a ruler under it it measures 3-1/2 inches. Still my family (in-laws & out-laws) have it in their heads I am taking the "easy-way" out yet again by having PS surgery to get rid of it rather than just do a few extra sit-ups. Come on people! I don't see how any number of sit-ups are going to get rid of a 3+ inch flap of skin hanging down.

No worries. I've been thinking of starting a thread soon as well for my upcoming Tummy Tuck so I needed to figure it out, but It took me awhile as well.

OMG :omg: I can't believe I just uploaded the swimsuit shot!:opps2: :help:How do you remove a picture from a previous post! All I can see in that pic is my large arms and my stomach hanging down by my side. Thankfully my legs are hidden by the towel! Here's crazy... Part of me still can't get enough of showing people my before shots while my "current" shots still embarrass me. (I'm not willing yet to call them "afters") It's like I think if they see my before shots maybe they will be more forgiving with how I look now. So on that vein here are my before's... But for the sake of non-partiality whoever is going to be kind enough to show my current photos to their friends for their opinions, don't show them these as well.

OK here goes... I'm going to post my pics for you guys. Anyone who is willing or able could you show them to a couple of your non-banded friends (Maybe a good looking guy:eyebrows:) and see what they think. Do they think I look "fat", "normal" dare I suggest "thin".

Hi Mommi If you go to the main home page for Lapbandtalk then click on the category that you new thread would best fit under. "General Support" "Fill Doctors", etc. Once you bring up the page with all the existing threads for the category you want your new thread to be under, you should see a button at the top of the thread list marked "New Thread".

Hugger - you are doing GREAT!!!! Congratulations on the hard work. There is an online group called KCBandsters. I can get you the link if you don't already have it. They use to meet once a month at a local library but stopped meeting nearly a year ago. Most of the people that attended that meeting including its founder who was banded in Mexico before it was approved in the US now attend a group that meets in Doctor Malley's office. The group is a good mix of newer and older bandsters. Usually there is only 1 or two people that are scheduled for surgery but haven't had it yet. The moderator has also been banded which I love. There are usually around 20-25 people and I'd say at least 20% of them were not banded by Malley. I'd love to see you come if only so we could go out for lunch or coffee together afterwards. 10:00 am-11:30 am 2nd Floor Brill Eye Center - Just North of the Lamar & Johnson Dr Intersection, Mission, KS Backed by Dr. Malley's Office but open to all.

Below is a link to an article that was in the Kansas City Star on Wednesday discussing the results of two long term studies comparing the 7-10 year mortality rate between groups of people mobidly obese that had and hadn't had weightloss surgery (of any kind). It found that 30-40% fewer people that had surgical intervention died in that period than those who didn't. Below is a quote from the end of the article. "...Deaths from diabetes in the surgery group were dramatically cut by 92 percent; from cancer by 60 percent and from heart disease by 56 percent. Surprisingly, the surgery group had a higher risk of death from accidents, suicides and other causes not related to disease. Both studies were done before surgery advances that have led to smaller incisions and faster recovery time." Anyone else notice that statement about the increase in suicides and other non-illness related deaths amongst those that had weight loss surgery? I wonder if the increase in other non-illness related deaths could be due to the more active lifestyle we are able to have after losing some weight. I also wonder if the suicide increase is due to the fact that after most of us have spent many years blaming many of our problems on our weight secretly or not so secretly believing that if we could only lose the weight everything would be so much better, then finding after we lose the weight that we were oh so wrong, and that losing the weight just gives us new problems. Just my rambling.

Thanks Chimboree - Now lets see if I have the courage to actually hit the send button with some photos for you.

:behindsofa:I've been lurking here for several days. I've wanted to post but I have so much I'd like to say I'm afraid I might post a novel and wasn't sure I had the time to write it or if you would have the interest to read it. I LOVE ALL of your posts! I started searching Lapbandtalk this spring for a thread just like this one to no real avail. Thankyou for starting this. :yo: I am 5'2" and down to 165 with an original goal of 139. I also have a Tummy Tuck scheduled for October (YEAH!!!) :whoo: I can relate to everyone of your posts. My secret belief I am still SO FAT goes far enough that I've been afraid to post here for fear one of you will secretly think I still have too much weight to lose to belong on this thread. (Now who is crazy?) One of my problems these last few months is I just have no idea how much more weight I need to lose. I set a 139 goal based on a combination of the least I needed to lose to get to a "normal" BMI combined with the fact that I always dreamed that I could get down to the British equivalent of 9-Stone X-Pounds. (Where each stone is 14-pounds.) But now I'm down to a size 10 and part of me thinks why can't you just be happy where you are? I'd like to think that once I get the tummy tuck I can be satisfied no matter what the weight is. And I HIGHLY doubt that the surgery is going to remove the 25+ pounds I still need to lose to get to that original goal. :pout:In so many ways I feel so alone. My band-friends that aren't as far as me yet are starting to treat me like one of those "skinny" women who they hate for complaining about their weight. They try to be nice but I still feel like I can tell it hurts them that I still don't think I've reached my goal. As for my non-banded friends, they are competely sick and tired of hearing about my struggles. I can't even say one sentence remotely related to my weight or the band without my husband asking if I would "drop it already" and yet he still asks from time to time if I need another fill because he thinks it looks like I haven't lost any more for a while. Then their are the people on the street. I just don't have a clue what they are thinking. I still am convinced the "normal" sized ones are thinking I'm a plus size but then the people who really do need to shop in the plus size department are giving me those same "She doesn't belong with us" looks too. Lately I've been obsessed with the idea of asking strangers their opinions. I haven't done it yet mind you just obsessing over it. Problem is I don't think I'd believe anyones positive responses. I'd just think they were being polite. That's when I came up with a truly "Cunning Plan" :madgrin:(reference-Black Adder Fans) maybe there are others out there in Lapbandland like me who would be interested in exchanging photos. We could ask all our friends what they thought of this "strangers" photos and share the responses we got. That way we wouldn't have to worry about the responses just being "polite". If by some chance one of you don't think I'm completely off my rocker, let me know. I'll show yours if you show mine. :spy: :heh:

Yvonne - My prayers are with you. Have you and your husband spoke with your boys yet? I may not know what you are going through but may understand a little of what your sons are thinking. My mother and father slept in seperate beds for close to 10 years if not more before they finally divorced. First they stayed together for my sister and I then out of habit and fear of the unknown once we were out of the house. But for them it was something that should have been done decades earlier. As early as grade school I can remember thinking they would be happier if they didn't live together. All the "pros" talk about the children feeling guilty for causing the breakup I actually felt guilty for being the cause of them not breaking up. I know finances will be tight and the children are probably worried about that. I know I was too when I was a kid and begging my father to please leave my mother. But at least in my case, I would have gladly endured the financial hardships with my mother, over the years of unhappiness she went through.

Frank - Just wanted to thank you for chiming in. We've been wanting more men's perspective on this.

I'm glad to see this site picking up again. Hugger - You are looking GREAT! 2bethinagain - CONGRATS on joining Bandland! Mary - Thanks for bumping this site and getting us talking again By the way who is running the meetings these days? I stopped going after Billie left. I just couldn't stomach the idea of someone else taking her place. One person in particular.:heh: I've still been going to a support group just not the Hoehn/Hitcock group. But I still miss you guys. My 2nd Bandversary is next month. Here is are my before & current photos. ___________________BEFORE______________________________AFTER___________________

Afterthoughts - I've joined a second band walking group on Thursday nights up North at Zona Rosa if anyone is interested in joining us let me know. There are only 3-4 of us trying to hook up each week and usually only a couple of us manage it each week right now. I'd love to see a few more people start coming.

It's good to see someone posting again. I miss this board. Where did everyone go I wonder? I'm doing all right. Finally broke my stall and lost 7 pounds in the last 2-3 weeks. I'm also scheduled for plastic surgery to remove the left over skin in my tummy in October. I'm hopeful that after I recover from the surgery that I won't feel the need to lose anymore weight and I'll be able to learn a new life of just living where I'm at without the constant struggle to lose more weight. I know I'll probably spend the rest of my life struggling or worrying about gaining it back but I'm hoping that struggle will be just a little less depressing than the one to lose weight. I'll probably start a thread hear in Lapland on my PS journey. I'll post a link once I do for everyone.

:welcome2:Darragha - thankyou for chiming in. I doubt you could offend any of us. :alienOFF TOPIC: And Star Trek? I must have missed the earlier reference. I'm a big Sci-Fi geek myself and proud of it. I'm currently reading through the additional Dune Series Novels written by Brian Herbert & Kevin Anderson and loving them. Do you ever read Trek books and are they better than the TV series (no insult intended to one of my much loved TIVO staples)

Imfine - Just a thought maybe if you went to counseling on your own first then approached him (possibly with a letter or call directly from your couselor) with a request to meet with the counselor either together or even better by himself under the premise that it was to discuss how he can help "You get over your problems" Then maybe he wouldn't feel threatened with the idea that the purpose of the meeting was to accuse him of wrong doing. My father is a counselor and I have seen him use this non-threatening tactic before. Like others said he maybe more open to change if he hears it from someone else. And if it is approached in a manner that makes it out like he is helping you rather than addressing any of his own flaws it might just keep him off the defensive.

Lepez - I also highly recommend Gadget's offer. Whether or not your a Christian I think the marriage seminar she is offering to give 2 "scholarships" for would be a wonderful experience. I strongly encourage you to give it a try. If by chance you are not a Christian please don't let that stop you. It is a marriage seminar sponsored by a Christian group but its focus is on marriage not on trying to convert anyone. I also would like to go with my husband as I feel we are headed down a slippery slope right now. And I feel that my weight loss is actually making things worse. But I wanted to leave her offer to other couples that may be in worse need. Not to mention I'm not sure how I would explain to my husband how we had been invited and how it had been paid for. He is a very proud and secretive man and the idea that I may have talked about us to other people would really upset him.

I sometimes wish my husband would. He's got it in his head its a sin though I don't know where that one's "written". Though I suppose in his favor he also believes it increases his desire to look at porn which he swore off nearly 10 years ago. So if thats what it takes to keep him away from the porn I guess its OK. But it sure makes it more difficult for me to get mine in without rushing or worrying about getting caught.

:happybday:Happy Belated Birthday Faith!! :( Hope you got your copy by now. I finished mine Sunday afternoon.:nerd: No spoilers from me, but I do have to say..:censored:! After I finish a Dune Series by Herberts son I've been working on I may just have to dig up all my HP books and start over again. I did make it to the Potter party at the movie theatre in the end.:pop2: It was great fun! I was the 3rd person to get my book!:whoo::nerd: And I loved the movie though the constant supply of "Swamp Water" :cocktail::cocktail::cocktail:they delivered to my seat in the balcony from the theatre's bar may have helped. I'm getting too old for the late nights out though. I'm frequently up at home after midnight but at the theatre it was all I could take not to fall asleep :notagree during the 20 minute wait after the movie and before we could get in line for our books. Everyone post when they are done so we can start talking about it.

Hey all, I'm back. I usually only post from work. My connection at home sucks and I'm paranoid my husband will walk in and find what I've been posting. This is as close to journalling as I get besides the worry over it being found I think I also worry that if I start writing it all down it might make things "worse" by making me face other issues in the marriage that I may be hiding from. I've also wanted to share this site with some friends and family members that I think could benefit from it but then I don't want them to see my posts. I wish I'd thought it out a bit more ahead of time and maybe created a second identity on Lapband just for this site. Gadget Lady - Thankyou so much for the offer. I checked out the site and it looks like a good organization. My husband & I went to one years ago before our 3-1/2 year old was born. We've talked of going again but its hard to get away. Fran, MomLambert & Nicnaknut - Good to see new faces here. Keep posting. Lambert - I also feel like I'm coming at this site from a little different angle than some. But this thread is for all intimacy problems as far as I'm concerned. My husband do tend to do it around 1 time a week sometimes twice a week and sometime once every 2-3 weeks. Our intimacy problems are twofold, On his side I don't feel that he is NOT affectionate. He never initiates, hugs or holding hands and usually if he says "I love you" it means something else like "Are you done talking yet I really wish you'd leave me alone already" His idea of foreplay is to either ask if I'm awake or to walk into the livingroom while I'm watching TV and say "it's been a while are we going to have sex tonight or what?" On my side I rarely really want sex, I say its because of his poor affection skills but I think that is really only part of it. I know there is also a lot of baggage from what happened to me before we got married. I use to reject my DH most of the time when we first got married as I felt strongly that sex should be a mutually desired act of intimacy not just a chore to be done out of obligation. And having sex after being asked if I was awake or after a day of arguing just didn't seem to interesting to me. We got to the point it was only once every few months then I'd give in and do it even though I didn't want to. I use to get so mad at my Christian friends that would tell me I should "submit" out of some Christian duty. But then about a year before I got the band I started just going with the flow. I have no idea why, maybe I was just tired of seeing the rejection in his face or maybe it was a change in my hormone levels after our son was born. But I will say that it has gotten easier and more enjoyable over time. Many times when he asks (before we go to bed) I will still say how about tomorrow and he's learned to accept that. There has even been the rare occasion when he has nearly behaved in a way that might be called foreplay. I still desperately miss the non-bedroom affection. It really plays on your insecurities. Making me worry sometimes when we have sex it isn't because he wants me so much as it is he just wants sex and I happen to be the female next to him. Don't get me wrong I don't believe he has ever cheated and doubt he ever would, but then again where have I heard that before? OK I've rambled enough for this morning.

Darn - I just stood in line at Borders for 2 hours for naught. The movie theatre I was planning on going to tonight is actually paired up with a bookstore to make an evening of it. The tickets are $65 but include the price of the book, $10 in "concessions" and seats in the VIP aldults only balcony section of the theatre complete with pub food & alcoholic drinks delivered to your seat by a waitress. I was already planning on going there tonight but didn't know they were going to have books right there ready for pickup after the movie gets over at midnight. Still wish me luck as I have a "date" with my DH at 4:30pm today while our toddler has an evening pizza party at the preschool. My plan is to have fun on our date pick up the son, put him to bed and convince my hubby to let me out of the house in time for the movie which starts at 9pm. Suppose if all else fails I do still have my place in line at Borders.

Hmmm.... Interesting, Very Interesting.

Just found this site. Don't know why I didn't search this out sooner. Should have known there were other banded Harryfiles out there. I am so excited about tonight. I still haven't seen the new movie. DH & I were on vacation this last week. He thinks I'm nuts over the whole Harry thing and hasn't read a single book. But I've made plans to go to a 21+ movie theatre with seat side bar service at 9pm tonight to watch the movie then straight to Borders to pick up my book at midnight. Skipped out of work for 2 hours this morning to secure my place near the front of the line tonight. Thought I'd be one of the few to turn up right at 9am to get my arm band for tonights line-up. Silly me, there were nearly 150 people ahead of me with a line extending out and 1/2 round the building. I'd told work I was ferrying my husband to a repair shop with his truck. Then the bugger decided to call work to talk to me. HE NEVER CALLS MY WORK LINE! Boy, I had a bit of explaining to do when I got back to work. But it was still worth it. Dumbledore - would love for him to be alive. And for Sirius to come back perhaps as a ghost. There are enough other characters significant and otherwise that die that I don't think it would hurt for one of these to play a role in the end. Future books - I know she says she won't write more but maybe someday she'll either pick up the pen again or authorize someone else to do it for her. There are a few precedents for that for example Isaac Asimov swore he wouldn't write anymore Foundation books then penned several more. And Frank Herbert's son went on to write two more series of books on the Dune theme in colaboration with other authors. The next Potter series I'd love to see would actually be one focusing on the years his parents went through Hogwarts rather than Harry's life after school. Imagine the fun that could be had exploring those years, with a young Hagrid, Snape and perhaps even a "likeable" Voldemort whom we find we are hoping against hope won't turn bad even though we all know he does.