QuirkyParrot

I'm sorry you're struggling. Hitting a plateau or weight loss stall is so frustrating. It's a time when we are very vulnerable and likely to give up on ourselves, go back to unhealthy habits and resist support or advice. It feels like nobody understands what we're going through, or how we feel, and that old self-loathing starts to rear it's ugly and counterproductive head. Please don't give up on yourself. You made a decision to move forward with surgery because you wanted something very badly, don't let it go. Now that it's done, give yourself some grace and try to get back into the headspace where you can take advantage of the benefits.
You've made changes, but are not getting the desired results. So, you need to make some tweaks to nudge your body back into the weight loss track. In order to make those tweaks, you're going to need to buckle down for a short time and track your eating. There's really no other way to go about figuring out what has you stalled without taking a very close look at that. It's a major pain int he a$$ and it takes discipline, but it's not forever. Commit to doing it 100% for just one week, that's long enough to reveal where the pitfalls are and find a solution. It's entirely possible that you are not eating enough. My longest stall was broken when I made a very moderate increase to my Protein and fat. It was literally a difference of about 4 ounces of food a day that flipped my weight loss from stop to go.
Tracking can be approached in different ways: you can either use an app to track things as you eat, write things down each time you eat then log everything into an app or website at the end of each day, or make a menu, log it at that time and stick to that religiously. I cycle through these methods depending on the other things going on in my life at any point. The last scenario is easiest to manage if you put aside time to do your meal prep for the week, so the food is ready for you to just reheat (if necessary) and eat. I can never stick to a planned menu unless I have the food ready to grab n go. I've tried a few apps, my favorite is MyFitnessPal.
After tracking for 7 days, take a good critical look at your macros - calories, protein, fat, carbs, Fiber and sodium (my personal demon) - and see if anything jumps out at you as higher or lower than you were assuming. Share your diet and macros here and you will find advice on making adjustments that will have you back on track in short order. You could find that a small change can net big results.
However you decide to move forward, I wish you the best and hope you enjoy the holiday season with your family and friends.

Check the calories on your Protein Shake, I've noticed some of them can be quite high calorie.
My NUT recommended trying to keep the calories around 160-180 for a 20-25g Protein shake, I've seen some with over 300 calories.

I'm sorry you're struggling. Hitting a plateau or weight loss stall is so frustrating. It's a time when we are very vulnerable and likely to give up on ourselves, go back to unhealthy habits and resist support or advice. It feels like nobody understands what we're going through, or how we feel, and that old self-loathing starts to rear it's ugly and counterproductive head. Please don't give up on yourself. You made a decision to move forward with surgery because you wanted something very badly, don't let it go. Now that it's done, give yourself some grace and try to get back into the headspace where you can take advantage of the benefits.
You've made changes, but are not getting the desired results. So, you need to make some tweaks to nudge your body back into the weight loss track. In order to make those tweaks, you're going to need to buckle down for a short time and track your eating. There's really no other way to go about figuring out what has you stalled without taking a very close look at that. It's a major pain int he a$$ and it takes discipline, but it's not forever. Commit to doing it 100% for just one week, that's long enough to reveal where the pitfalls are and find a solution. It's entirely possible that you are not eating enough. My longest stall was broken when I made a very moderate increase to my Protein and fat. It was literally a difference of about 4 ounces of food a day that flipped my weight loss from stop to go.
Tracking can be approached in different ways: you can either use an app to track things as you eat, write things down each time you eat then log everything into an app or website at the end of each day, or make a menu, log it at that time and stick to that religiously. I cycle through these methods depending on the other things going on in my life at any point. The last scenario is easiest to manage if you put aside time to do your meal prep for the week, so the food is ready for you to just reheat (if necessary) and eat. I can never stick to a planned menu unless I have the food ready to grab n go. I've tried a few apps, my favorite is MyFitnessPal.
After tracking for 7 days, take a good critical look at your macros - calories, protein, fat, carbs, Fiber and sodium (my personal demon) - and see if anything jumps out at you as higher or lower than you were assuming. Share your diet and macros here and you will find advice on making adjustments that will have you back on track in short order. You could find that a small change can net big results.
However you decide to move forward, I wish you the best and hope you enjoy the holiday season with your family and friends.

I'm sorry you're struggling. Hitting a plateau or weight loss stall is so frustrating. It's a time when we are very vulnerable and likely to give up on ourselves, go back to unhealthy habits and resist support or advice. It feels like nobody understands what we're going through, or how we feel, and that old self-loathing starts to rear it's ugly and counterproductive head. Please don't give up on yourself. You made a decision to move forward with surgery because you wanted something very badly, don't let it go. Now that it's done, give yourself some grace and try to get back into the headspace where you can take advantage of the benefits.
You've made changes, but are not getting the desired results. So, you need to make some tweaks to nudge your body back into the weight loss track. In order to make those tweaks, you're going to need to buckle down for a short time and track your eating. There's really no other way to go about figuring out what has you stalled without taking a very close look at that. It's a major pain int he a$$ and it takes discipline, but it's not forever. Commit to doing it 100% for just one week, that's long enough to reveal where the pitfalls are and find a solution. It's entirely possible that you are not eating enough. My longest stall was broken when I made a very moderate increase to my Protein and fat. It was literally a difference of about 4 ounces of food a day that flipped my weight loss from stop to go.
Tracking can be approached in different ways: you can either use an app to track things as you eat, write things down each time you eat then log everything into an app or website at the end of each day, or make a menu, log it at that time and stick to that religiously. I cycle through these methods depending on the other things going on in my life at any point. The last scenario is easiest to manage if you put aside time to do your meal prep for the week, so the food is ready for you to just reheat (if necessary) and eat. I can never stick to a planned menu unless I have the food ready to grab n go. I've tried a few apps, my favorite is MyFitnessPal.
After tracking for 7 days, take a good critical look at your macros - calories, protein, fat, carbs, Fiber and sodium (my personal demon) - and see if anything jumps out at you as higher or lower than you were assuming. Share your diet and macros here and you will find advice on making adjustments that will have you back on track in short order. You could find that a small change can net big results.
However you decide to move forward, I wish you the best and hope you enjoy the holiday season with your family and friends.

It's the ridiculous (in my opinion) fad where women/girls wear tight corsets to have an unnaturally narrow waist. Didn't we learn anything in the 19th century? Bring on the fainting couches.

I have hated the shakes since day one of the pre-op diet.
I have issues with sucralose, aceK and aspertame sweeteners (they induce immediate migraines) and EVERY product on my doctor's recommendations list contained them (shakes, puddings, drink mixes, etc). All of their proprietary private-labeled foods and drinks include them as well, you know, the ones at the office, which they really want to sell you "to make it easier." I had to search out alternatives with natural sweeteners and just about everything is sweetened with Stevia (rebA) or Monk Fruit extract and those products are HIGHLY over-sweetened. I used shakes during my pre-op when I could stand at the kitchen sink and chug them down, but once I had my surgery and could only sip slowly, they were out. I just couldn't drink them without gagging.
So, I was always using alternative products to what the practice recommended, and started seeking out real food methods to meet my Protein goals very early in the process. When I met the nutritionist she was impressed with my creativity and absolutely fine with my choices, the doctor not so much. Even though I was recovering well and losing weight, he seemed personally insulted that I wouldn't just take their plan "that has worked for thousands of patients" and unquestionably follow it. He tried to push me to go back to shakes and supplements, even though I was reaching my protein goals without them. He wasn't mean about it, but was quite forceful. I totally think it's an ego thing.
So, the moral of my story is, there is more than one way to reach the finish line. If you are willing to do the research and find choices that are more appealing to you, while being in line with the nutrients you need to meet your goals, then go for it. Avoid the places you've reached out for support and found only judgement and resistance, and find groups that will help you get there. Like this one!

I have hated the shakes since day one of the pre-op diet.
I have issues with sucralose, aceK and aspertame sweeteners (they induce immediate migraines) and EVERY product on my doctor's recommendations list contained them (shakes, puddings, drink mixes, etc). All of their proprietary private-labeled foods and drinks include them as well, you know, the ones at the office, which they really want to sell you "to make it easier." I had to search out alternatives with natural sweeteners and just about everything is sweetened with Stevia (rebA) or Monk Fruit extract and those products are HIGHLY over-sweetened. I used shakes during my pre-op when I could stand at the kitchen sink and chug them down, but once I had my surgery and could only sip slowly, they were out. I just couldn't drink them without gagging.
So, I was always using alternative products to what the practice recommended, and started seeking out real food methods to meet my Protein goals very early in the process. When I met the nutritionist she was impressed with my creativity and absolutely fine with my choices, the doctor not so much. Even though I was recovering well and losing weight, he seemed personally insulted that I wouldn't just take their plan "that has worked for thousands of patients" and unquestionably follow it. He tried to push me to go back to shakes and supplements, even though I was reaching my protein goals without them. He wasn't mean about it, but was quite forceful. I totally think it's an ego thing.
So, the moral of my story is, there is more than one way to reach the finish line. If you are willing to do the research and find choices that are more appealing to you, while being in line with the nutrients you need to meet your goals, then go for it. Avoid the places you've reached out for support and found only judgement and resistance, and find groups that will help you get there. Like this one!

My mantra when I have a craving for those foods is, "When I reach my goal weight." When I reach my goal weight, I will be able to eat whatever I want, in moderation. A bite of pizza or a cookie here and there is not going to balloon me back to my starting weight, but eating those things with utter abandon will. So, I will allow myself very careful indulgences once I've lost the weight. Until then, I'm in losing mode and indulgences are not on the menu. Knowing the time will come when I can enjoy treats again helps me push past the cravings, where thinking they are forbidden forever makes me want some *right now.*

My mantra when I have a craving for those foods is, "When I reach my goal weight." When I reach my goal weight, I will be able to eat whatever I want, in moderation. A bite of pizza or a cookie here and there is not going to balloon me back to my starting weight, but eating those things with utter abandon will. So, I will allow myself very careful indulgences once I've lost the weight. Until then, I'm in losing mode and indulgences are not on the menu. Knowing the time will come when I can enjoy treats again helps me push past the cravings, where thinking they are forbidden forever makes me want some *right now.*

I have hated the shakes since day one of the pre-op diet.
I have issues with sucralose, aceK and aspertame sweeteners (they induce immediate migraines) and EVERY product on my doctor's recommendations list contained them (shakes, puddings, drink mixes, etc). All of their proprietary private-labeled foods and drinks include them as well, you know, the ones at the office, which they really want to sell you "to make it easier." I had to search out alternatives with natural sweeteners and just about everything is sweetened with Stevia (rebA) or Monk Fruit extract and those products are HIGHLY over-sweetened. I used shakes during my pre-op when I could stand at the kitchen sink and chug them down, but once I had my surgery and could only sip slowly, they were out. I just couldn't drink them without gagging.
So, I was always using alternative products to what the practice recommended, and started seeking out real food methods to meet my Protein goals very early in the process. When I met the nutritionist she was impressed with my creativity and absolutely fine with my choices, the doctor not so much. Even though I was recovering well and losing weight, he seemed personally insulted that I wouldn't just take their plan "that has worked for thousands of patients" and unquestionably follow it. He tried to push me to go back to shakes and supplements, even though I was reaching my protein goals without them. He wasn't mean about it, but was quite forceful. I totally think it's an ego thing.
So, the moral of my story is, there is more than one way to reach the finish line. If you are willing to do the research and find choices that are more appealing to you, while being in line with the nutrients you need to meet your goals, then go for it. Avoid the places you've reached out for support and found only judgement and resistance, and find groups that will help you get there. Like this one!

My mantra when I have a craving for those foods is, "When I reach my goal weight." When I reach my goal weight, I will be able to eat whatever I want, in moderation. A bite of pizza or a cookie here and there is not going to balloon me back to my starting weight, but eating those things with utter abandon will. So, I will allow myself very careful indulgences once I've lost the weight. Until then, I'm in losing mode and indulgences are not on the menu. Knowing the time will come when I can enjoy treats again helps me push past the cravings, where thinking they are forbidden forever makes me want some *right now.*

My mantra when I have a craving for those foods is, "When I reach my goal weight." When I reach my goal weight, I will be able to eat whatever I want, in moderation. A bite of pizza or a cookie here and there is not going to balloon me back to my starting weight, but eating those things with utter abandon will. So, I will allow myself very careful indulgences once I've lost the weight. Until then, I'm in losing mode and indulgences are not on the menu. Knowing the time will come when I can enjoy treats again helps me push past the cravings, where thinking they are forbidden forever makes me want some *right now.*

I am 6' tall, weight 298 at the outset of this journey. I lost 20 pounds in 10 days on the pre-op liquid diet (surgery was scheduled in a cancellation spot, so my pre-op diet was shortened from 14 days to 10 days) weighing in at 277 on surgery day.
At my one week follow up, my weight was 273 - so down 4 pounds from pre-surg weight (24 from start weight). My doctor said all progress measured going forward would be from my initial weight of 298.
At my one month follow up, my weight was 265 - so 8 more pounds in 3 weeks. Honestly, I expected more and was very disappointed with that weight. When I mentioned it to my surgeon he told me that many people don't see a large loss on the scale between the 1-week and 1-month appointments, because your body is in a major metabolic flux. Your entire digestive, hormonal and endocrine system is essentially saying "WTF happened?" and shifting around trying to adjust to the "new you" on the inside and radical change in diet. His theory is that this is the cause of the notorious and dreaded week 3 stall.
So, be kind to yourself. Follow the diet your surgeon has prescribed and have faith that your body will respond in due time. It's hard when you are not seeing the big loss on the scale that you expected right away, I'm right there with you.
Try to find non-scale victories to motivate and inspire you. I had a little silent celebration when I sat in a seat in the theater last week and didn't feel the arms of the chair digging into my sides (I carry my weight in my torso area). I just sat down and didn't feel like I had to wedge myself in. The chair didn't know how many pounds I lost and the scale didn't matter one bit in that moment. It was a little thing, but I'm carrying that feeling of victory around like a mental trophy.

I contacted my surgeon, he put me back on liquids and prescribed strong anti acids like you mentioned.
I’m feeling better already.
Thank you!

I am 6' tall, weight 298 at the outset of this journey. I lost 20 pounds in 10 days on the pre-op liquid diet (surgery was scheduled in a cancellation spot, so my pre-op diet was shortened from 14 days to 10 days) weighing in at 277 on surgery day.
At my one week follow up, my weight was 273 - so down 4 pounds from pre-surg weight (24 from start weight). My doctor said all progress measured going forward would be from my initial weight of 298.
At my one month follow up, my weight was 265 - so 8 more pounds in 3 weeks. Honestly, I expected more and was very disappointed with that weight. When I mentioned it to my surgeon he told me that many people don't see a large loss on the scale between the 1-week and 1-month appointments, because your body is in a major metabolic flux. Your entire digestive, hormonal and endocrine system is essentially saying "WTF happened?" and shifting around trying to adjust to the "new you" on the inside and radical change in diet. His theory is that this is the cause of the notorious and dreaded week 3 stall.
So, be kind to yourself. Follow the diet your surgeon has prescribed and have faith that your body will respond in due time. It's hard when you are not seeing the big loss on the scale that you expected right away, I'm right there with you.
Try to find non-scale victories to motivate and inspire you. I had a little silent celebration when I sat in a seat in the theater last week and didn't feel the arms of the chair digging into my sides (I carry my weight in my torso area). I just sat down and didn't feel like I had to wedge myself in. The chair didn't know how many pounds I lost and the scale didn't matter one bit in that moment. It was a little thing, but I'm carrying that feeling of victory around like a mental trophy.

I would certainly contact your surgeon. It sounds like you may have ended up with a case of gastritis from the alcohol irritating your stomach lining. Since we don't have much stomach lining left, it's not hard to make it angry. They should be able to prescribe strong antacids and anti-emetics to get you back on track. Feel better!

His objection to your weight loss is not about you, it's about him.
Next time he makes a comment like that, call him on it. It doesn't have to be accusatory or confrontational, just a calm even-tempered question. Why does he need to cut you down, does it make him feel good to hurt your feelings? Why is your appearance more important to him than your good health?
If you are not able to ask him those questions, find a counselor who will. He's either dealing with personal insecurity and afraid he'll lose you (which he/you can work through), or he only wants a relationship in which he has total control over every aspect of what you do and will demand that his needs and desires outweigh yours (from which you should run).
Having unraveled, and eventually ended, a dysfunctional relationship, I understand the fear of facing that reality. It was the hardest and scariest part of my life and took more emotional stamina and personal strength than I thought I had in me. It was also the best thing I ever did for myself, and I never could have done it alone. Our couples counselor, and eventually my private therapist, saved my life. Please get help, you deserve it.
If he refuses counseling, that is a huge red flag.

I would either hold the card for a little while more, or get a variety of Soups and freeze them until you feel ready. I'm close behind you (5 weeks PO) and my tummy would not be up to any Panera food just yet.

Don't let this derail what you want to accomplish for yourself. At the end of the day, this surgery and losing weight is about you. Don't let anyone steal that and make it about them, which is exactly what he is doing. What were your goals for this surgery? Better health? Living longer? Being able to more easily shop for cute clothes? Being able to more easily do things you want to do? Whatever they were, if he is a true partner he should want those things for you as well, and support you to get there.
If he can't do that, well that speaks to a deeper problem. Now, as others said, he may be insecure and scared, which is understandable since change is scary. But, as an adult he needs to understand that and work through it. If he isn't willing to do that... whether through self introspection, counseling or some other method, well, then I'd question how strong the relationship really is and if he is worth it.
You deserve to have what you want. Don't forget that! Good luck.

I'm sorry to hear this. Bariatric surgery is so life-changing that it can uncover relationship issues that were previously unrecognized. Would he be willing to do a counseling session to explore why he feels the way he does? Talking it through might help.

I totally feel you. Once the surgery subject comes up, your weight, your weight loss (or not), how good/healthy (or bad/unhealthy) you look and the story of every person everyone has ever known to have surgery (especially failure stories) become the main topic of conversation. I watched it happen to my brother and my niece and I opted out of that nonsense. Good luck with your surgery!

I went to a BBQ in the 2nd week after my surgery. I wasn't hungry at all, but people were needling me to eat. So I got a small plate, put 2 chicken wings on it and walked around with it in my hand all afternoon. Any time anyone would comment I would say "Oh, these wings are delicious, have you tried them?" and walk away. Did the same thing at a cocktail party last weekend, got a glass of wine and a small plate with a couple of appetizers (ones I don't like) and walked around with it the whole time. Nobody noticed I wasn't eating or drinking anything (except my husband).
I've chosen to only share my surgery with a few close, non-judgmental, friends and family members. I consider it a personal journey and I don't like the fact that after you tell people, your weight loss suddenly becomes their business and the main topic of conversation whenever you see them.

I'm married with a husband who works tons of hours and two active teenagers. They are self-sufficient for Breakfast and lunch, but if I want everyone together around the dinner table, it's still up to me to cook dinner for the family. I found this a little challenging at first and some nights I ditched, but when I do that it seems everyone scatters and just makes a sandwich when they feel like it or runs out for take-out. I really enjoy our family dinners because it seems like the only time everyone takes a pause and sits down together to connect. So, I had to get back to the kitchen, even though I'm still early in my post-op diet and not eating what they do.
I know I can't be alone in this position, so I wanted to share something I found that REALLY makes it much easier to manage. I've subscribed to Hello Fresh, the program where you can get ingredients delivered to prepare complete meals. This particular service allows you to choose which meals you would like for the week. They send everything you need (outside of kitchen basics like olive oil, salt, pepper, butter, etc) in the exact portions you need to complete the meal. Each meal comes with a step by step recipe and they are not heavy prep, often cook in one or two pans and most are ready in 30-40 minutes total.
I'm not trying to sell the service, but just wanted to share that it can really take the burden of planning, shopping and [largely] cooking family meals that you can't eat. I would suggest looking into something similar in your local area, if it's available, if you're struggling as I was. This is not something I would normally even consider, but it's worked out quite well for this part of my journey, I may or may not continue it longer term.

I totally feel you. Once the surgery subject comes up, your weight, your weight loss (or not), how good/healthy (or bad/unhealthy) you look and the story of every person everyone has ever known to have surgery (especially failure stories) become the main topic of conversation. I watched it happen to my brother and my niece and I opted out of that nonsense. Good luck with your surgery!

I went to a BBQ in the 2nd week after my surgery. I wasn't hungry at all, but people were needling me to eat. So I got a small plate, put 2 chicken wings on it and walked around with it in my hand all afternoon. Any time anyone would comment I would say "Oh, these wings are delicious, have you tried them?" and walk away. Did the same thing at a cocktail party last weekend, got a glass of wine and a small plate with a couple of appetizers (ones I don't like) and walked around with it the whole time. Nobody noticed I wasn't eating or drinking anything (except my husband).
I've chosen to only share my surgery with a few close, non-judgmental, friends and family members. I consider it a personal journey and I don't like the fact that after you tell people, your weight loss suddenly becomes their business and the main topic of conversation whenever you see them.