Hi all as most folks I have been working from home since March 2020. I had my gastric sleeve 8/16/2021. My team at work who I absolutely love we are like a family are getting together before going back into the offiice. We will be going in on a rotating basis. My question is when did you feel comfortable going to a social gathering? I don't think I am nowhere near ready for that. Also do you all tell people you have had the surgery?

Thanks for listening

About two weeks after surgery my friend & her husband had a combined 60th. I went, took some hydralite to sip & was home about 2 hours later (no where to sit & was exhausted). My friend & her husband knew & understood why I left early. At 6 weeks I went to my cousin’s 40th & staged for the whole party. No body there knew about my surgery. Was on soft food so I was able to nibble on a couple of things like Spanish croquetas (fish filling). Did sip on a gin & tonic for about 3 hours.

I never felt hungry or was interested in eating. Both were cocktail type functions so as I wondered from one group to another, no one knew what I was or wasn’t eating or drinking.

A sit down occasion might be more difficult but if you are at a cafe or restaurant most have a soup option which would be ok in the first few weeks post surgery. I did eat just the filling of a quiche on an occasion or two & the only insides of steamed gyoza. Check the menu before you go.

If you don’t want people to know, say you don’t feel very hungry or you had a large lunch. Or simply say you’re trying to diet & cut back on portion sizes - which is true.

I was 22 when I had my gastric sleeve. It was in July and I was staying with my parents before going back to school in August after the summer break. This gave me plenty of recovery time. I didn't attend any social gatherings during the recovery. But it was the 4th of July the day before I flew out to get my surgery, there was a family bbq and I was on my liquid-only pre-op diet. It was terrible but I overcame temptation. Everyone was asking why I wasn't eating. But I just said that I had a surgery in a couple of days and couldn't eat anything. But at that moment I made a promise to myself.

"I will answer honestly whenever someone asks in the future, I won't hide it, there's nothing to be ashamed of"

When I got back to school after my surgery there were a couple of social gatherings where it came up, and I just said, my stomach isn't big enough to eat what is on my plate, when they would ask why I would say, "part of my stomach was surgically removed in July" and that is usually good enough. But when it isn't I just say, I had the surgery done voluntarily for my health to help me lose weight. I wasn't uncomfortable about it. I even had to tell my lab classes that I would need to leave periodically to drink water (no food or drinks in labs). Inevitably I would have to say why.

Comfort is relative. If you think you will be uncomfortable because you're hiding the surgery, don't hide it. If you're uncomfortable because of all the food, bring your own. etc. Do what makes you feel best. If you aren't ready, you aren't ready, and that is fine. Like I said, I had a couple of months at home before having to join the world. I think that helped a lot.

I went to a party at a restaurant at 3 weeks post op. I ordered a butternut squash soup and a glass of ice water. I remember not eating the soup cuz I didn’t really want it in the first place, and i mixed in some protein powder i brought with me into my water.

Nursed that protein drink the entire evening.

Oh, someone also poured me a glass of red wine, which i took 1-2 sips of. That wine stayed on the table untouched after that.

No one at the party knew about the surgery (except my spouse). And yes, everyone at our table kept asking if i was sure I didn’t want to order something else, or if i wanted to try thier food, or comment about how little i ate, etc.

I told them i had an upset stomach and changed the subject.

it was a fun night regardless (we were with friends after all), and not eating while they were eating was a non-issue.

I tell people that I've had it. I haven't blasted it on Facebook, but when I get the questions, I just answer them. I don't really care what they think as I did it for my family and myself. I haven't had any negative reactions - at least that I know about - but I don't really care if there are. I feel great, and my diabetes is gone so they can think whatever they want. Not everyone wants to be that open about it, and that's fine. Everyone needs to do what works for them.

And do people really pay that much attention to what other people eat or don't? I never have paid that much attention unless it's some dish that I made specifically for a person and then I'm like - YOU HAVEN'T TRIED IT YET!!!???

If they keep asking if I want something, I just say - I'm good, thanks!

I went to a BBQ in the 2nd week after my surgery. I wasn't hungry at all, but people were needling me to eat. So I got a small plate, put 2 chicken wings on it and walked around with it in my hand all afternoon. Any time anyone would comment I would say "Oh, these wings are delicious, have you tried them?" and walk away. Did the same thing at a cocktail party last weekend, got a glass of wine and a small plate with a couple of appetizers (ones I don't like) and walked around with it the whole time. Nobody noticed I wasn't eating or drinking anything (except my husband).

I've chosen to only share my surgery with a few close, non-judgmental, friends and family members. I consider it a personal journey and I don't like the fact that after you tell people, your weight loss suddenly becomes their business and the main topic of conversation whenever you see them.

Edited September 1, 20214 yr by QuirkyParrot

ditto , on what njlimmer said , I really dont care what other people think. i just want my health to be good , there is no reason for anybody on this board to be ashamed , remember this is only a tool , we all still must work everyday for this to become a success

3 hours ago, QuirkyParrot said:

I went to a BBQ in the 2nd week after my surgery. I wasn't hungry at all, but people were needling me to eat. So I got a small plate, put 2 chicken wings on it and walked around with it in my hand all afternoon. Any time anyone would comment I would say "Oh, these wings are delicious, have you tried them?" and walk away. Did the same thing at a cocktail party last weekend, got a glass of wine and a small plate with a couple of appetizers (ones I don't like) and walked around with it the whole time. Nobody noticed I wasn't eating or drinking anything (except my husband).

This is freaking genius! ? I have to attend a wedding 2 weeks after surgery and I have been absolutely dreading it for alllllll the reasons. I am totally stealing this tactic. Like you, I have opted not to share except with a very limited group of my closest people (2, I've told 2 people). I do not want to discuss my weight at a family wedding full of super-judgey skinny folks, no matter how much I love them.

4 minutes ago, Kenda0928 said:

This is freaking genius! ? I have to attend a wedding 2 weeks after surgery and I have been absolutely dreading it for alllllll the reasons. I am totally stealing this tactic. Like you, I have opted not to share except with a very limited group of my closest people (2, I've told 2 people). I do not want to discuss my weight at a family wedding full of super-judgey skinny folks, no matter how much I love them.

I totally feel you. Once the surgery subject comes up, your weight, your weight loss (or not), how good/healthy (or bad/unhealthy) you look and the story of every person everyone has ever known to have surgery (especially failure stories) become the main topic of conversation. I watched it happen to my brother and my niece and I opted out of that nonsense. Good luck with your surgery!