Tony B - NJ

No worries...for what it is worth. I may come off cold at times but I am truly trying to help. I truly believe that people can be successful in their journey if they get out of their own way and commit. Some people need a good boot in the ass at times to open their eyes and get serious.

I was attacked for being honest with this person because I saw what you all saw recently right from the beginning. This person wanted the easy way out, would not weight food, would not give up Indian Food, wanted to have her Desserts etc, etc.
Case Rested. This was either a troll or someone who just does not want to do what it takes to be succesful and wants to blame it on the surgery, others, human nature etc.

All,
I was attacked by another member for telling a poster what I think is the truth to try to give them some tough love and open their eyes to what is happening. When people post on here, it is not a stretch to assume that they have a real problem and are looking at real solutions. What good does it do to reassure people that they are just fine and they are doing the right thing just to make them feel good. They are on here because they have a problem they need help with. If they want to solve the problem, sometimes they are going to have to hear something that may not make them smile. Sometimes the truth hurts and in order to come to a solution, you have to look at everything realistically to make the corrections needed.
I was accused of purposely being unhelpful and I take offense to that. I have posted many more encouraging posts to people than the opposite because most people here just need a little reassurance and they are doing the right things to be successful. Once in a while, people are not doing what their surgical team recommends or may be doing things counterproductive and I have said that point blank. Does that make me a "mean" person as this person accused me of? Maybe, but maybe, just maybe the original poster needed to hear the "mean" truth in order to understand what needs to be done.
Bottom line is, if people post on here, I again assume they want people to be truthful and helpful, not just be a cheerleader and try to make them feel better. They will feel better when they are successful in their journey.

All,
I was attacked by another member for telling a poster what I think is the truth to try to give them some tough love and open their eyes to what is happening. When people post on here, it is not a stretch to assume that they have a real problem and are looking at real solutions. What good does it do to reassure people that they are just fine and they are doing the right thing just to make them feel good. They are on here because they have a problem they need help with. If they want to solve the problem, sometimes they are going to have to hear something that may not make them smile. Sometimes the truth hurts and in order to come to a solution, you have to look at everything realistically to make the corrections needed.
I was accused of purposely being unhelpful and I take offense to that. I have posted many more encouraging posts to people than the opposite because most people here just need a little reassurance and they are doing the right things to be successful. Once in a while, people are not doing what their surgical team recommends or may be doing things counterproductive and I have said that point blank. Does that make me a "mean" person as this person accused me of? Maybe, but maybe, just maybe the original poster needed to hear the "mean" truth in order to understand what needs to be done.
Bottom line is, if people post on here, I again assume they want people to be truthful and helpful, not just be a cheerleader and try to make them feel better. They will feel better when they are successful in their journey.

All,
I was attacked by another member for telling a poster what I think is the truth to try to give them some tough love and open their eyes to what is happening. When people post on here, it is not a stretch to assume that they have a real problem and are looking at real solutions. What good does it do to reassure people that they are just fine and they are doing the right thing just to make them feel good. They are on here because they have a problem they need help with. If they want to solve the problem, sometimes they are going to have to hear something that may not make them smile. Sometimes the truth hurts and in order to come to a solution, you have to look at everything realistically to make the corrections needed.
I was accused of purposely being unhelpful and I take offense to that. I have posted many more encouraging posts to people than the opposite because most people here just need a little reassurance and they are doing the right things to be successful. Once in a while, people are not doing what their surgical team recommends or may be doing things counterproductive and I have said that point blank. Does that make me a "mean" person as this person accused me of? Maybe, but maybe, just maybe the original poster needed to hear the "mean" truth in order to understand what needs to be done.
Bottom line is, if people post on here, I again assume they want people to be truthful and helpful, not just be a cheerleader and try to make them feel better. They will feel better when they are successful in their journey.

Such a good question for a post. I have dieted many times, lost and regained. I think for me it is the psychological aspect of committing to do a major surgery to my body to lose the weight. I think it would be insanely stupid for me to put myself through the trauma of surgery and then piss away all the benefits by not committing to weight loss and changing my life style permanently. I am 8 months into this process and the momentum for me builds as I reach new milestones in my weight loss. I am committed to this as I have ever been to anything in my life. I have lost 105 pounds and I continue to lose although much more slowly now than in the beginning...but still losing. My goal is to get down to "normal" BMI....I am getting close to that goal now.
Along the way, with the exercise I am doing, I am also as healthy as I have been in 20 plus years. My resting heart rate is down in the mid to high 40 range, my cholesterol is very, very good, my BP is fantastic and my glucose and A1C are perfect. I can run with my grand daughter better than most young people can and I look better than I did 25 years ago when I was in my late 30s.
The more benefits I see the more motivated I am to continue this life style change and keep up doing what I am doing.

Just give it time. It is way to early to be worrying about weight. With the Water weight that they pumped into you after surgery, it will take a while to shed that and you will see the pounds fall off. Be patient...it will happen soon.

I have mentioned this product before and stand by it. Unjury makes a Protein Powder with chicken broth flavor that is outstanding. It is 21G of Protein and the taste is better than broth or Bone Broth. It is worth trying. I swear by it for that protein boost I need when I don't get it from my meals.

All,
I was attacked by another member for telling a poster what I think is the truth to try to give them some tough love and open their eyes to what is happening. When people post on here, it is not a stretch to assume that they have a real problem and are looking at real solutions. What good does it do to reassure people that they are just fine and they are doing the right thing just to make them feel good. They are on here because they have a problem they need help with. If they want to solve the problem, sometimes they are going to have to hear something that may not make them smile. Sometimes the truth hurts and in order to come to a solution, you have to look at everything realistically to make the corrections needed.
I was accused of purposely being unhelpful and I take offense to that. I have posted many more encouraging posts to people than the opposite because most people here just need a little reassurance and they are doing the right things to be successful. Once in a while, people are not doing what their surgical team recommends or may be doing things counterproductive and I have said that point blank. Does that make me a "mean" person as this person accused me of? Maybe, but maybe, just maybe the original poster needed to hear the "mean" truth in order to understand what needs to be done.
Bottom line is, if people post on here, I again assume they want people to be truthful and helpful, not just be a cheerleader and try to make them feel better. They will feel better when they are successful in their journey.

Thank you for capturing and understanding my intention. Sometimes it takes a little intelligence and patience to read through and understand what people are trying to say!! Thank you again!!

All,
I was attacked by another member for telling a poster what I think is the truth to try to give them some tough love and open their eyes to what is happening. When people post on here, it is not a stretch to assume that they have a real problem and are looking at real solutions. What good does it do to reassure people that they are just fine and they are doing the right thing just to make them feel good. They are on here because they have a problem they need help with. If they want to solve the problem, sometimes they are going to have to hear something that may not make them smile. Sometimes the truth hurts and in order to come to a solution, you have to look at everything realistically to make the corrections needed.
I was accused of purposely being unhelpful and I take offense to that. I have posted many more encouraging posts to people than the opposite because most people here just need a little reassurance and they are doing the right things to be successful. Once in a while, people are not doing what their surgical team recommends or may be doing things counterproductive and I have said that point blank. Does that make me a "mean" person as this person accused me of? Maybe, but maybe, just maybe the original poster needed to hear the "mean" truth in order to understand what needs to be done.
Bottom line is, if people post on here, I again assume they want people to be truthful and helpful, not just be a cheerleader and try to make them feel better. They will feel better when they are successful in their journey.

Thanks....as I said earlier. My intentions were good. I just don't think this person really wanted help.

Thank you. Let's move on and try to help others be successful like we have been to this point.

Very true....but I feel it is important to tell people the truth. Maybe my method is a little rough but the heart is in the right place, I can assure you.

I truly don't care how you feel about this. I see you trying to reassure people they are doing the right thing all the time and that is fine...it is your opinion and I never, ever comment on other people's responses. But your approach is different than mine and I think it is prudent to tell people the truth. She even states her Doctor does not think her progress is satisfactory so obviously something is not being done correctly.
I think it best for you to back off and keep your opinion to yourself like I do when I do not agree with your approach. My opinion in this particular issue may not be correct, maybe it is correct, but the same goes for your opinion on it. You may be correct and you may be wrong. Respect other people's opinions.
Finally, people post on here for opinions and advice. If they expect everyone to agree with them, they should not ask for opinions or maybe just say what they want to hear and everyone can answer how they want to be answered.

All,
I was attacked by another member for telling a poster what I think is the truth to try to give them some tough love and open their eyes to what is happening. When people post on here, it is not a stretch to assume that they have a real problem and are looking at real solutions. What good does it do to reassure people that they are just fine and they are doing the right thing just to make them feel good. They are on here because they have a problem they need help with. If they want to solve the problem, sometimes they are going to have to hear something that may not make them smile. Sometimes the truth hurts and in order to come to a solution, you have to look at everything realistically to make the corrections needed.
I was accused of purposely being unhelpful and I take offense to that. I have posted many more encouraging posts to people than the opposite because most people here just need a little reassurance and they are doing the right things to be successful. Once in a while, people are not doing what their surgical team recommends or may be doing things counterproductive and I have said that point blank. Does that make me a "mean" person as this person accused me of? Maybe, but maybe, just maybe the original poster needed to hear the "mean" truth in order to understand what needs to be done.
Bottom line is, if people post on here, I again assume they want people to be truthful and helpful, not just be a cheerleader and try to make them feel better. They will feel better when they are successful in their journey.

All,
I was attacked by another member for telling a poster what I think is the truth to try to give them some tough love and open their eyes to what is happening. When people post on here, it is not a stretch to assume that they have a real problem and are looking at real solutions. What good does it do to reassure people that they are just fine and they are doing the right thing just to make them feel good. They are on here because they have a problem they need help with. If they want to solve the problem, sometimes they are going to have to hear something that may not make them smile. Sometimes the truth hurts and in order to come to a solution, you have to look at everything realistically to make the corrections needed.
I was accused of purposely being unhelpful and I take offense to that. I have posted many more encouraging posts to people than the opposite because most people here just need a little reassurance and they are doing the right things to be successful. Once in a while, people are not doing what their surgical team recommends or may be doing things counterproductive and I have said that point blank. Does that make me a "mean" person as this person accused me of? Maybe, but maybe, just maybe the original poster needed to hear the "mean" truth in order to understand what needs to be done.
Bottom line is, if people post on here, I again assume they want people to be truthful and helpful, not just be a cheerleader and try to make them feel better. They will feel better when they are successful in their journey.

Unhelpful and mean? No maam. I just try to be honest with people and tell them the truth. There is something not right about what is going on there. 20 pounds after a year is not success and to say so is not helpful to the poster. If you want to just be told what you want to hear, then do not post. This is trying to help people, not just make them feel good and continue doing what they are doing.

So, I hate to be a wet blanket here and I know everyone is trying to be supportive, but to get major weight loss surgery and after a year being only 22 pounds lighter seems to me to be a bit of a failure....I am just being brutally honest. Part of supporting people is to sometimes tell them the truth and try to get them to take action. If I were in the same situation, I would go back to a low calorie, high Protein, low fat, low/no carb diet and get exercising ASAP. The fact is, there has to be a calorie deficit and it we are gaining weight back, there is an issue with that deficit. Maybe we are not counting all our calories....maybe we are not counting at all......maybe we are doing ZERO exercise......maybe a lot of things but what we do know is that it is not working and we are gaining weight. It is time to reevaluate EVERYTHING and get back to what made weight come of in the first place.

I chose sleeve because:
1) the idea of rearranging my plumbing turned me off
2) i wanted to continue using NSAIDS with no issue (but surprise, surprise, i ended up no longer needing them)
3) i was afraid of dumping (again, surprise, surprise, i dump with the sleeve anyway)
For what its worth, my surgeon said either surgery (sleeve or bypass) would, under normal circumstances, more or less produce the same results with the same person. And that unless there is pre-existing condition that would dictate a specific surgey (i.e., GERD, which i did not have) then it just boils down to personal choice. He was equally comfortable doing either surgery and advised me to choose the one *I* felt more comfortable with.
There is alot of literature out there about average weight losses for the different types of WLS’s. But averages are just that: averages. They are NOT pre-determined stats that YOUR body will adhere to.
Basically, results are significantly more tied to the person (and their actions/habits/physiology) than the specific surgery.
Doc said that statistically, based on my starting weight, I could expect to lose 60 lbs in a year. Eff that, I lost 120 in 7 months. I’ve read of others on here who lost 50 in a year, still others who lost 200 over 2 years, and even one who lost 150+ in less than six months (all self-identified sleevers). So yeah…their results are quite spread out.
In any case, whichever surgery you choose (pre-existing conditions excluded), your results will depend on YOU.
Good Luck!

For your size and BMI, the Sleeve is going to get you to where you need to be weight wise for sure if you stick to the plan and commit yourself to it. I think it is a little less radical than the bypass and a few less issues to worry about like dumping, absorption of nutrients etc.
They say you can lose 60-70 percent of your excess weight on it which is I think on the conservative side because I am over 80 percent of excess weight lost and still going (slowly, but still losing).
I am more than happy with the result.

Thanks....as I said earlier. My intentions were good. I just don't think this person really wanted help.

Thank you. Let's move on and try to help others be successful like we have been to this point.

I was attacked for being honest with this person because I saw what you all saw recently right from the beginning. This person wanted the easy way out, would not weight food, would not give up Indian Food, wanted to have her Desserts etc, etc.
Case Rested. This was either a troll or someone who just does not want to do what it takes to be succesful and wants to blame it on the surgery, others, human nature etc.

Thank you. Let's move on and try to help others be successful like we have been to this point.