Sunnyway

Hi! I’m new to the forum but looking for words of encouragement from other people who might be going through what I am. I had gastric bypass surgery in 2004. Lost over 100 pounds for about a minute. Started going to eating disorder therapy to try and see why I had such an unhealthy relationship with food. My weight finally settled at 200-210lbs but of course I was never satisfied. Finally after having a complication after a shoulder replacement in July 2019 and then Covid hit, I am the heaviest I have ever been after surgery, 267. I have to almost starve myself to lose weight now. I feel defeated and know that revision is the best option for me now. I don’t want to waste another year of my life! So I keep asking myself, why will this time be different?
Growing up and as a young adult, my father said that god put me in his life so he could have tolerance for fat people. My grandpa would ask me at a huge family dinner why I couldn’t be skinny like my friends and my grandma asked me why I I didn’t want to be model thin after giving me an entire bundt cake (I lived alone) to take home. As you can see I have not had the greatest support but also all of them have since passed away. I feel like this time I’m doing it for myself but am I just trying to convince myself?

Let me know why YOU think it will or was different for YOU?

Thanks for reading my very raw story.

I am so sorry this happened to you. My mother has this thing about fat people being disgusting and my daughter and I were just discussing today that we think she has an ED. I have body dysmorphia because if her calling me fat, black and ugly most of my childhood (she also has issues with colorism) so I know exactly the struggle. This is not a question you asked but I am going to suggest that in addition to food therapy you seek out mental health therapy to help with the horrible history you have had. It is also very important to have a support group, for me that has been my kids, a close friend of mine and online support groups like this one. Now to answer your question: I was banded for over 13 years during that time I learned the difference in feeling full and satisfied. I learned how to eat slowly and chew thoroughly, I learned that I don't have to eat all of the cake right now there will be other days for cake, I lost my love of bread and soda and if I do have a craving for it I learned to have it in moderation and quit. I have the tools it is just up to me to use them. So, if I have all of this knowledge why did I need a revision? Because after I lost my band I went hog wild and tried to eat all of the things that I THOUGHT I was missing, however, I was still unconsciously eating the way I described above but was making poor food choices too often. Without the band I gained about 42 pounds BUT I maintained that same weight for 5 years. In summary, I have the knowledge, the tool and I am mentally ready to keep the weight off for good. Thank you for joining my Ted Talk.

VERY expensive!!

I've come to realize that I am also a sugar/food addict. I've read a ton of books, some of which I will share with you. OA, a 12-step program, is an excellent support group. I haven't joined OA but I know its out there and available to me.
I had WLS in 1990, received no nutrition guidance, and was pretty much left to my own devices. I lost weight during the post-op honeymoon, but as time passed I could eat more...and I did! I regained every pound I had lost and returned to my original set point, where it stayed for the next 25 years despite a variety of weight loss program. I could never keep lost weight off.
I only recently learned that my RNY can be revised. I wasted a lot of time, but I'm going to give it another shot. This time I have lots more information at my fingertips.
Pre-operatively I have sworn off sugar, flour, wheat, rice, starchy vegetables, and processed foods. The first couple of weeks were hard but now I rarely get cravings or head hunger. I've lost 43 lbs. since the first of April. I know that abstention is the only way to prevail over addiction. I intend to continue with this post-operatively also.
Since you already know you are a food addict, I recommend the following:
Food Junkies: Recovery from Food Addiction, by Vera Talman Weight Loss Surgery Does Not Treat Food Addiction, by Connie Stapleton
Why Diets Fail (because youʼre addicted to sugar), by Nicole Avena & John Talbott
Baratric Surgery & Food Addiction, by Philip Werdell (written for the clinician, but I found it valuable}
You might find Kay Sheppard's books relevant, since she advocates 12-step programs: Food Addiction: The Body Knows and From The First Bite: A Complete Guide to Recovery
One more book that I highly recommend is The Success Habits of Weight Loss Surgery Patients, by Colleen Cook. I've also discovered that there a plethora of Bariatric Cookbooks now. My favorite is The Bariatric Guide and Cookbook, by Matthew Weiner.

If you read back through posts here, you'll see hundreds, if not thousands, of posts talking about how people were just simply... not interested in food after the surgery. Like, just didn't care about it and had to sip Protein Drinks to get their Protein in at first.
As I think I said earlier, I put myself on a pre-op diet so I didn't go from "full steam ahead" to "have a couple Protein Shakes a day" overnight. I cut out all sugar (the protein shakes are sweetened with non-nutritive sweeteners, I forget which—stevia maybe).
Last night, I held up my end of a bargain with my kid and took her to our favorite ice cream shop. I ordered myself a scoop of my favorite ice cream... ate a small bite... and went "ugh, why is this so sweet" and put the rest in the freezer for my kid to eat later.
It was a shocking moment, because I could easily plough through two or three big scoops of that stuff beforehand.
Your body will do the change. But if you think you need to test the waters, commit to two weeks' time on a pre-surgery diet. Maybe not the full liquid one, but one that's calorie restricted and very low carb. You can do two weeks. Anyone can do two weeks. But that's two weeks straight, not "I've been good for three days and deserve a little treat."
If you can't do that, then at least you'll know before you do this major, life-altering thing, and you could go seek help.
But you've got this. I'm sure of it.

The cravings usually stay with us we just learn how to recognise & better manage them or they’re not as strong. I think cutting a lot of the foods that fed cravings out of our diets pre & post surgery helps educate us & re sensitise our tastebuds to what may really be too sweet.

Yes, you should learn to cook for yourself. There are many bariatric cookbooks with simple recipes. Start with Soups. Vegetable soups are so easy. I'll give you a recipe in a moment.
My 70 year old brother has been learning how to cook and BAKE!. Amazing! I never thought he could do it. He's been doing a great job searching the internet for recipes and exchanging recipes with friends. You can do it too.
Now, here is the Weight Loss Magic Soup recipe, only 57 cal per cup. It's filling and delicious.
32 oz chicken stock
3 cups V-8 juice (you can use low-sodium V8 or even Tomato juice, homemade or store bought)
2 cans Italian diced tomatoes
1 small onion
2 cloves minced garlic
1 package sliced mushrooms
3 carrots, peeled and sliced
1 zucchini, diced
1 yellow squash, diced
2 cups fresh or frozen green Beans
1 can kidney Beans, drained and rinsed
3-4 cups shredded cabbage
1 teaspoon Italian seasoning
Salt and Pepper, to taste
In a large frying pan sprayed with cooking spray, sauté garlic, onions, carrots, and mushrooms for about 5 minutes.
In a large crockpot, combine sautéed garlic and vegetables with the remaining ingredients. Cook on high for 2-3 hours, or until vegetables are cooked. (I have made this in a large stock pot on the stove instead of in a crock pot, simmering on medium heat.)
This makes a large batch of Soup. If you would like to freeze portions of it to use later, undercook the vegetables just a little. Pour the soup into freezer Ziplock bags and let as much air out as you can. Lay the bags flat on a cookie sheet and freeze. Once the soup is frozen flat, it is easy to layer in your freezer and won't take up much room. To thaw, place the bag in the fridge for 24 hours and then reheat.
https://www.favfamilyrecipes.com/weight-loss-magic-soup/

I've come to realize that I am also a sugar/food addict. I've read a ton of books, some of which I will share with you. OA, a 12-step program, is an excellent support group. I haven't joined OA but I know its out there and available to me.
I had WLS in 1990, received no nutrition guidance, and was pretty much left to my own devices. I lost weight during the post-op honeymoon, but as time passed I could eat more...and I did! I regained every pound I had lost and returned to my original set point, where it stayed for the next 25 years despite a variety of weight loss program. I could never keep lost weight off.
I only recently learned that my RNY can be revised. I wasted a lot of time, but I'm going to give it another shot. This time I have lots more information at my fingertips.
Pre-operatively I have sworn off sugar, flour, wheat, rice, starchy vegetables, and processed foods. The first couple of weeks were hard but now I rarely get cravings or head hunger. I've lost 43 lbs. since the first of April. I know that abstention is the only way to prevail over addiction. I intend to continue with this post-operatively also.
Since you already know you are a food addict, I recommend the following:
Food Junkies: Recovery from Food Addiction, by Vera Talman Weight Loss Surgery Does Not Treat Food Addiction, by Connie Stapleton
Why Diets Fail (because youʼre addicted to sugar), by Nicole Avena & John Talbott
Baratric Surgery & Food Addiction, by Philip Werdell (written for the clinician, but I found it valuable}
You might find Kay Sheppard's books relevant, since she advocates 12-step programs: Food Addiction: The Body Knows and From The First Bite: A Complete Guide to Recovery
One more book that I highly recommend is The Success Habits of Weight Loss Surgery Patients, by Colleen Cook. I've also discovered that there a plethora of Bariatric Cookbooks now. My favorite is The Bariatric Guide and Cookbook, by Matthew Weiner.

Completely agree with what others have said. Depression does NOT preclude you from surgery; I have depression and GAD and am scheduled for VSG on 9/21. BUT, getting your mental health stable and making sure you have healthy coping measures in place before surgery will ensure your success post-op. If you aren't already, it may be worth getting into therapy and seeing a psychiatrist about medication. Depression can drive addiction and WLS is not a cure-all for food addiction or other disordered eating habits, so its super important you are actively taking steps to break those cycles before surgery. I know it can feel impossible to take those first steps, but you absolutely can do it and will be better for it!

After a while (usually 6-18 months), the honeymoon period ends and you can eat more AND YOU CAN RETURN TO YOUR OLD BAD EATING HABITS. You need to be prepared for this. During your pre-op and post-op honeymoon you MUST learn a new way of eating. For a sugar addict, that means abstention. If you return to your own eating habits you can and will regain weight.
Addiction cravings must be conquered with abstention. It gets easier with each passing day. Yes, we all slip from time to time, but you must start over each time. Go back and read my first post again.
Be strong! Good luck!

Yes, you should learn to cook for yourself. There are many bariatric cookbooks with simple recipes. Start with Soups. Vegetable soups are so easy. I'll give you a recipe in a moment.
My 70 year old brother has been learning how to cook and BAKE!. Amazing! I never thought he could do it. He's been doing a great job searching the internet for recipes and exchanging recipes with friends. You can do it too.
Now, here is the Weight Loss Magic Soup recipe, only 57 cal per cup. It's filling and delicious.
32 oz chicken stock
3 cups V-8 juice (you can use low-sodium V8 or even Tomato juice, homemade or store bought)
2 cans Italian diced tomatoes
1 small onion
2 cloves minced garlic
1 package sliced mushrooms
3 carrots, peeled and sliced
1 zucchini, diced
1 yellow squash, diced
2 cups fresh or frozen green Beans
1 can kidney Beans, drained and rinsed
3-4 cups shredded cabbage
1 teaspoon Italian seasoning
Salt and Pepper, to taste
In a large frying pan sprayed with cooking spray, sauté garlic, onions, carrots, and mushrooms for about 5 minutes.
In a large crockpot, combine sautéed garlic and vegetables with the remaining ingredients. Cook on high for 2-3 hours, or until vegetables are cooked. (I have made this in a large stock pot on the stove instead of in a crock pot, simmering on medium heat.)
This makes a large batch of Soup. If you would like to freeze portions of it to use later, undercook the vegetables just a little. Pour the soup into freezer Ziplock bags and let as much air out as you can. Lay the bags flat on a cookie sheet and freeze. Once the soup is frozen flat, it is easy to layer in your freezer and won't take up much room. To thaw, place the bag in the fridge for 24 hours and then reheat.
https://www.favfamilyrecipes.com/weight-loss-magic-soup/

No. Before I even met with the bariatric clinic to inquire about revision I did a two-week liquid diet just to see if I could do it. (It turns out that my clinic doesn't use that technique for liver reduction.) liquid Protein Shakes and powders are very filling. They are not like the old "Slender" shakes in a can. I would drink them and ask "Where is the rest ov my lunch? "
No, I'm quite satisfied drinking Protein shakes, supplemented with broth, sugar-free Jello and sugar-free Popsicles. I won't say it was totally easy, but it was not as hard as I expected and I lost over 10 pounds during those two weeks.
Do a practice run. Try it now for about four days just to see how it goes for you.

I've come to realize that I am also a sugar/food addict. I've read a ton of books, some of which I will share with you. OA, a 12-step program, is an excellent support group. I haven't joined OA but I know its out there and available to me.
I had WLS in 1990, received no nutrition guidance, and was pretty much left to my own devices. I lost weight during the post-op honeymoon, but as time passed I could eat more...and I did! I regained every pound I had lost and returned to my original set point, where it stayed for the next 25 years despite a variety of weight loss program. I could never keep lost weight off.
I only recently learned that my RNY can be revised. I wasted a lot of time, but I'm going to give it another shot. This time I have lots more information at my fingertips.
Pre-operatively I have sworn off sugar, flour, wheat, rice, starchy vegetables, and processed foods. The first couple of weeks were hard but now I rarely get cravings or head hunger. I've lost 43 lbs. since the first of April. I know that abstention is the only way to prevail over addiction. I intend to continue with this post-operatively also.
Since you already know you are a food addict, I recommend the following:
Food Junkies: Recovery from Food Addiction, by Vera Talman Weight Loss Surgery Does Not Treat Food Addiction, by Connie Stapleton
Why Diets Fail (because youʼre addicted to sugar), by Nicole Avena & John Talbott
Baratric Surgery & Food Addiction, by Philip Werdell (written for the clinician, but I found it valuable}
You might find Kay Sheppard's books relevant, since she advocates 12-step programs: Food Addiction: The Body Knows and From The First Bite: A Complete Guide to Recovery
One more book that I highly recommend is The Success Habits of Weight Loss Surgery Patients, by Colleen Cook. I've also discovered that there a plethora of Bariatric Cookbooks now. My favorite is The Bariatric Guide and Cookbook, by Matthew Weiner.

I survived my first family event today. The nice thing about Covid is I haven't had to worry about gatherings. But today was a special birthday for a relative so we had a BBQ with about 20 people.
I was asked to bring an Angel food Cake, so I made that....and I didn't eat the part I cut off like I normally would. I had one small bite, the rest went in the compost.
I'm only 3 months out. Not everyone there knows I had the surgery, but no one commented about the fact that all I ate was a chicken burger (that I brought) and some pickles. I used a dessert sized plate like I do at home. Timed my bites, and as expected could not eat it all. I didn't have any of the other food there. There was no desire, I was full.
A little later I had dessert. I was still "full", so just had a small bite of cheesecake (no crust or topping) and a sliver of the angel food cake with 3 fresh strawberries that I brought for myself. There is no way I could have ate more than that.

Hi there, Chantrella. I haven't lost enough weight yet to see much change yet, but I experienced this after the last diet I went on 5 years ago (gained it all back, plus some). I had lost 92 lbs, and obviously should have seen a change, but couldn't. I would look in the mirror and see myself just as big as before. My therapist said it's called Body Dysmorphia. It's basically when the brain sees our body looking different than what it is. She told me it's common after major weight loss because our brains get so used to seeing our bodies as it has for so long. Then, suddenly we drop and shrink, but our brains haven't caught up to our success yet. Eventually, I started to see my weight loss with her help. Some people experience it as a lifelong struggle she said, but working through it with my therapist helped me to finally see it. After regaining it all, I saw some pictures taken after that weight loss, and I couldn't understand how I never saw how "small" (for me) I had gotten. It frustrated me, but I'm trying to remember that for this time around.

If I want sweet I go to fruit. If I want salty then nuts. On rare occasions, like when I have friends over for drinks on the deck, I’ll have hummus on whole grain rice crackers - can be moorish though.
I did find a seed, nut & dried fruit cluster ‘no added sugar’ snack but the reality was they’re sweetened with honey so the sugar content & calories were actually quite high comparatively. You really have to look carefully at the ingredient list & nutrition panel when making your decision.
If I want something sweet or dessert like I make chia pudding. I keep it simple just the chia seeds & milk (low fat, full fat or nut if you prefer) & flavour with vanilla only. On the recommendation of my dietician I used to also add some powdered milk to up the Protein but I found that made it too sweet.
I haven’t gone down the high protein biscuits or chips route because I just felt it would be an easy step back to eating the high fat high sugar versions for me. Some eat them without any issue.
PS - I love Dr Weiner’s you tube videos @Sunnyway. Simple, plain speaking.

Thank
Thanks!

That's awesome that you could get it done so soon if you want to! I am usually an upbeat person, but over the past few years I was feeling depressed about my weight, too. Having the surgery helped SOO much. I finally felt like I was doing something productive about it. I hope it helps you, too.

Most people have to go through a psyc evaluation to determine if they are “fit” for surgery. If you do not have to you may consider seeing a therapist anyways and working on your depression first. This tool is like a one shot deal. You want to go in with your mind in the right place so you are the most successful. That’s not to say that if your depression is entirely because of your weight that you aren’t ready. A doctor will be able to help you determine that though.

I understand your concerns of failure going into this. When you have tried to lose weight over and over only to regain or not lose much at all, it is hard to believe anything will ever work. Yes, people have had WLS and regained or didn't lose much. I, like you, questioned my will power to remain on track, and still do. I have been on diet after diet, and tried many programs over the years, never reaching my goal (close a few times) and never getting to maintenance.
I can say that post-op, I am surprised how much the restriction does help in keeping me from "going off" the plan. It is early on, so things may get harder, but at about a month out, a craving might "pop" in my head for a second, but it goes away quickly. I get full (satisfied) pretty quickly, and am not really tempted to snack. I think after putting myself through this extreme weight loss procedure & knowing that it is important to stick to the plan help me not want to do anything to jeopardize my success.
I do enjoy cooking, but because I had to cook for my family also, I have been taking more short cuts then I did prior to surgery. During the soft food phase, I often ate Oikos Triple Zero Yogurt or scrambled eggs for Breakfast, & canned chicken or tuna for lunch & dinner. Now that I am on the modified regular diet, I am trying to cook meals that my family & I can all eat. My sides might be different (quinoa instead of rice, etc.) I try to make double for my family & freeze a second meal when I can. For the foods that are just for me, I also try to make extra for another day or the freezer. The airfryer, crock pot & instant pot are great tools to make easy meals. Right now, as I am getting in new eating habits, I buy foods that are easy to prepare.
You can do this.🤗👍 Find ways to take short cuts (in food preparation), find a few bariatric recipes that sound good & focus on those.
I wish you luck with your surgery and progress. It is totally understandable to have these fears going into this, but don't let them get in your way of taking this step towards a healthier you. 🍀😊

When I had my psych consult (pre-op), the therapist said I hadn’t failed those scores of diets over the years; the diets had failed me. Having had the bariatric surgery, I have to say this: No, it has not been easy, but I feel like my body is my friend now, and I’m not always fighting it to get my weight down.

I did the same thing preop. After I attended the required bariatric seminar I changed everything then. I started living the bariatric lifestyle then. I figured I had a few months to "practice" before I had to do it for real. I cut out carbonated drinks, sugar and started trying out different Protein Shakes. It was 5 months before I actually had surgery but I was pretty well prepared by then.
Dilute your Protein shakes with some milk if they are too sweet and see if that helps. Good luck with your journey!

I had a sugar addiction! Some days I ate no regular food...just sugar! Now I treat sugar like an alcoholic treats alcohol. When someone tries to get me to have "just a bite" I simply say "no thank you." If they say "oh, but it's so good" I say "yes, I'm sure it is but I know what all that sugar does to me and I don't want to go there." I have never had a dumping episode because I am very careful. I do eat bananas, which are higher in sugar but they haven't bothered me.
I actually don't crave sugar anymore and sometimes find things too sweet. I used to put a whole pack of splenda or truvia in my coffee, after surgery could only tolerate a small sprinkle and now don't use any.
I'm almost 3 yrs post op.

I was on only liquids for my preop diet (2 weeks) and for two months post-op. I got so sick of all of the Protein Drinks because they were so sweet. And I admittedly have a sweet tooth, but by the time I could have non-clear liquids, I was 100% done with sweet drinks. I rejoiced when I was allowed to have milk!
I don't completely understand what you mean about an instant change. But for me, it was mind over matter. I knew that if I ate solids before my stomach healed completely, I would be putting back my recovery and potentially damaging my body even worse. I didn't want to risk it so I stringently kept to my post-op liquid diet.

I am a sugar addict. I had the same concern as you do, and I told my doctor I would prefer the gastric bypass because I would have dumping syndrome keeping me accountable. He said he thought that the hormonal changes that occur with the sleeve would be enough for me, and I decided to trust him. I am only 7 weeks out but so far I don't have those same sort of cravings for sweets like I did before. They still sound good but I don't have this obsessive drive to go out at 10:00 at night while my children are sleeping to buy a candy bar (I never did it but I was tempted to).
I think if bypass is available, you may want to do that as it will give you an extra level of protection against the sugar cravings, but I can say that the sleeve definitely helps.