Sunnyway

Hello! I am so there! Down 73 pounds...stuck at 70-73 pounds for the last few weeks...trying to break through and get to One-derland! LOL I just got my first vaccine and as soon as I feel "safe" I WILL be going to the gym and I HOPE that will be what it takes to get me to goal. I totally understand what you mean about being happy...I mean, I haven't been this low since I had my baby...25 years ago! I've dropped a couple of sizes...even my feet have shrunk! Everyone tells me how great I look! But I don't want to get complacent, and lose everything I've gained lost! Good luck and know that you are NOT alone!

There are some foods I’ve just had to tel myself they aren’t for me anymore. Not even a bite, not even once. So my kids and husband still have candy and crackers and things like that around, they eat them in front of me, and that’s fine. They are all healthy weights and that works for them. It wouldn’t work for me. I had surgery, I am making changes for me, and that’s on me to handle

I “like” eating junk too. I have a party sized bag of peanut m&ms just sitting here. Over the course of a day I’ll probably have a handful. In the past I could mow through that whole bag in a day (yeah I know). My wife is concerned every time the scale drops a pound now and though I feel like I probably have another 15-20lbs I could lose she (and my mom uhg) are worried I’m too skinny (I’m not, 192 @ 6’4” is at the top of the healthy BMI range (BMI is garbage but I agree with it in this circumstance just by looking at me (I need to chill with parentheticals))) so they are keeping me fed… but you’re right, it’s very very empowering to look at a sleeve of Oreos and have two (gotta take off one cookie top each and smoosh two double stuffs together for a quad stuff…. I’m not Amish) and be happy with that.

Ultimately, it's no one's job but yours to figure out the best stuff to put in your body.
People will always eat awful stuff because it's readily available and tastes good. People will equate offering food with offering affection, support, etc. (even though for someone trying to lose weight, this is backwards and crazy...it's just habit and they don't think about it) For some people it's a manners thing...I can't eat in front of someone else without offering to share, regardless of what I'm eating. Doen't matter if I'm eating a protien bar or a donut...if you're hanging out with me and I think you might be hungry...I'll offer you half. You can always say no.
Sometimes, I make a mindful decision to eat junk food. I budget for it in my daily calories and I like proving to myself that I control food and food doesn't control me anymore.
I like eating junk now, because I don't enjoy it as much as I used to and I don't feel out of control. I know that sounds crazy....but seriously...there is a satisfying victory in consuming 200 calories of something I used to be totally out of control with...and go...you know what? That's good, but I can take it or leave it now. I LOVE that I can take it or leave it now. And I really love that I'm being dead honest about that, because I have spent a lifetime lying to myself about food. I very honestly am not as reactive about food as I used to be...and that's a HUGE victory.
Yep, I still like fat, sugar and salt. Most people do. But I can take them or leave them, and I can budget a sensible serving and not have my nutrition day ruined. I credit part of that to revamping my eating habits and microbiota due to the surgery, and part to food addiction work with my bariatric therapist. Both have been incredibly important.

I got offered a donut - 5 days after surgery. I told the person are you nuts and don’t ever do it again. (It was a relative)
Fortunately I’m fine being around food. It’s not a trigger. I stick to my plan.

Um, yes? But the only thing that bothers me is most of what they eat has wheat in it and I developed a wheat allergy after surgery so when they make a mess and don't clean it up I complain because if I am forced to clean up after them I'll end up with giant rashes due to my allergy. It gets really irritating! I'm actually surprised that I don't feel like cheating most of the time. I mean, yeah, the fact that they buy chocolate and keep it in candy dishes makes me always grab at least two of them a day when they're there (85 calories for those tiny little chocolates) but I fit them into my diet so I don't feel like it's cheating (I'm almost 19 month out so my diet is a lot more lax then someone just starting out).

Unfortunately, I have 3 grandkids, my husband and my son and DIL who live in the house and eat MANY things that I can't/won't have. LOL I don't expect them to change their own eating habits for me. They're all healthy. And with me being home all the time there isn't a time to do it/save it for when I'm not home either.
I made a choice back in March to start eating better (to get ready for surgery and my new life) regardless of whether or not my hubby joined me. However, he too started eating low carb/no sugar and also eats whatever I make and eat for myself. BUT, he does still sometimes eat Snacks and stuff that I don't and I'm totally fine with it. I feel I have more willpower and control now than I ever have before. I think that takes time.

I grew as a chubby kid but once I entered school, I was kept in sports my whole life so being skinny was my normal life. It wasn't until I was diagnosed with PCOS at the age of 22. I was at 150 pounds. A tad bit overweight but hey, I was a university kid who would party, drink and eat junk all the time. What was I expecting? it's what us, uni kids do... right? PCOS never tempered with my life so why care. It wasn't until I was 24 when the weight became my biggest nightmare. It was as if it came with vengeance, full force. This is when everything 'clicked' for me. I would always do crash diets, starve, Intermediate fasting, juicing... you name it, I've tried it. NOTHING WORKED. I would diet with no weight loss. AND TRUST ME... I CALORIE COUNTED EVERY GRAIN OF RICE OR OUNCE. I would go to the gym religiously for 2 hours at a time...I would weigh myself every morning in hopes I finally lost a pound. This developed an unhealthy addiction and I ended up with an eating disorder. I would give up on dieting and binge eat thousands of calories at a time. I would feel guilty, mentally, emotionally, and psychically. I would vomit and start over. I missed the "skinny" me desperately to the point I jeopardized my body, my mind and killed my metabolism due to my eating disorder.
I was sitting at my heaviest at 210. For some, this weight isn't much but keep in mind- I didn't feel like myself anymore. I wasn't happy. I would drink myself to sleep. I would cry because I felt that I could have done better with taking care of my body, But Instead, I tortured my body thinking I was doing the "right thing."
Scared and lost, I turned to my last resort and to fix my alcohol addiction and health around with the VSG.
I am now 1 month post op and down to 169. I hope to get down to 110 like I used to be. But honestly, I just want to be happy again. This time. HEALTHY, regardless of the weight.
People think that only thin people have eating disorders but, oh boy are they wrong.
I am still learning how to deal with my new tummy. But What I keep in mind is, that this surgery is a tool. Not a 'miracle' surgery. I still need to eat healthy to get the results. And I aim to do so.

I have thought about this so much and I’ve identified a few triggers for myself. I very much identify with the “I’ve done x hard thing, I deserve a treat” mentality. I also struggle with eating as an activity to avoid something I don’t want to do, or to deal with stress. I have addiction issues in my family as well and I recognize the way I act around sugary foods is very disordered.

I keep having to ask myself, even getting close to a year in, why I think the only nice thing I can do for myself is food. Why I feel like the only way to feel better when things are going badly for me is food. I know it’s a lifetime of habits and bad coping mechanisms I’m trying to overcome, and it’s probably going to be a lifetime of work ahead of me, but I’m taking it one day at a time.

I've always loved all kinds of food, and strived to eat healthy. But healthy eating doesn't matter if you're still eating too much. I was very similar to Catwoman in the way I ate, and even though much of the food was healthy, my portions were huge. My "why" was always that I ate such huge portions and I never seemed to feel full.
I can't prove it, but I was poor growing up, and although we got enough to eat, there wasn't abundance. It's almost like when I got older and had plenty of food available I wanted to make sure I ate as much as I could in case the time came when there wasn't enough. I never felt satisfied no matter how much I ate, and I always ended up stuffed.
This surgery is like a miracle to me. I get full, and I can stop eating now before I am studded and I am SATISFIED. It is such an amazing feeling!

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I agree - "why" is a key question. I expressed it this way in an earlier post:

I agree! The whys are definitely important. I had to put surgery on hold for 3 months while I saw a therapist and I'm actually really glad I did. We ended up doing a couples session and identified at least one sort of "trigger" for me that I didn't really think about before. For me, I've realized that "mental load" can often wind up feeling really overwhelming if one thing sort of gets knocked out of place. I'll list up all these tasks in my head of things I need to do, and then if say.. I suddenly have to work overtime, I'll panic and stress eat as a result. And sure I'll tell myself that it's only this once, and I deserve it I'm working extra so I don't have time to cook and blah blah, but if those things were true then I wouldn't have ended up as overweight as I am. The truth is it wasn't "once".
The solution we've found that works for our household is me just keeping the "list" written on the fridge instead of in my mind. This means my husband can see what needs to be done without me having to ask, because I hate hate hate asking (it makes me feel like a mother instead of a partner). If he knows what needs to be done, then he'll do it, especially if he sees I'm stressed. That has helped ward off a lot of the overwhelmed feelings that led me to eat before.
I also came to a rude awakening post-surgery regarding not finishing food. We were a "clean your plate" household, and while I'm aware of it, I didn't realize just quite how much throwing away food I was enjoying would bug me. If there's enough for leftovers, then I'll store it, but sometime I literally have a bite or two left. It's gotten easier to discard the little bits as time has gone on, but the first time I had just a couple bites left I sat there staring at my food for a good 20 minutes or so, hoping the full feeling would magically disappear before I finally tossed it out.
I am still continuing to see a therapist, and will be doing so until I've got a comfortable hold on my various "whys" and how to address them. While I am definitely better off than I was several months ago, I still have a lot of room for improvement. Eventually I hope to get to a place where I'm comfortable just calling the therapist when I'm having a particularly bad time, but I'm not quite there yet.

Well my "why" was NOT due to over eating. I had several health issues that contributed to me not being able to lose easily or normally. I also had a bad habit of ONLY eating once a day (just dinner) and while it may not have been the best choices (my one meal would be stuff like Pasta or include bad starches with my lean meat), I did not go hog wild with second/triple helpings/etc. Just my one and done. But many times I also would never eat veggies. Not that I don't like them just I would never cook them. No clue why. But yeah, I think my problem was not eating enough throughout the day or at the correct times. My metabolism is/was ****! I'm also not one to eat sweets or even salty Snacks. Just not my thing. On a special occasion/party, yeah. But not on the regular. If anything I'd get a craving for stuff like lunchmeat or cheeses periodically.
I don't know, several of my docs had me keep food journals and logs over the years and most times their comments would be stuff like, "You obviously know what you should be eating. Your logs looks good. You're just not eating enough or the correct amount of times throughout the day." Or "Cut back on some of these fruits." Or "You need to start eating breakfast." Or "You really shouldn't skip breakfast and lunch." Stuff like that.
It's definitely been challenging though trying to think differently when it comes to eating and when to eat. Especially after surgery since you're not always hungry. And now, since I'm trying to break my old habit of NOT eating cause I'm not hungry, I try to anyway just to fuel myself correctly. Even if it's just a little something.

this sounds really weird, but I always strove to be a super healthy eater, so I'd eat all this food to make sure I got all of my nutrients for the day. For example, my usual Breakfast pre-surgery was a smoothie. I would throw in a bunch (and I mean a BUNCH) of soft tofu or Greek yogurt, a banana, two or three peaches or an equal amount of melon or cantaloupe, several berries, some nonfat dry milk, and then enough orange juice to get it going in the blender. So that was like 600 kcal before I even walked out the door. Mid-morning I'd usually head downstairs to the coffee shop (I worked in a library) to get a coffee and an oat scone. Oats are good for you. So there's another 500 (or more) calories. Lunches were always leftovers. I can't remember if I usually had afternoon Snacks or not (it's been six years since surgery), but if I did, it probably would have been a packet (or two) of cashews from the vending machine. Nuts have lots of nutrients, you know. Then I'd come home and snack while I was making dinner. Dinners were often some sort of ethnic fare - Chinese or Thai or Indian - so chicken (usually) plus heaps of vegetables in some creamy sauce (that is, if Thai or Indian) served over about a cup of brown rice. So yea - healthy - at least nutrient-wise - but probably 3000 or so calories a day, give or take.
I still worry about not getting all my nutrients every day. Like - always. But then I remember that I DO take Vitamins, so I'm getting some that way - and over the course of several days, I probably DO get all my nutrients - just not all in one day. But I still find myself thinking about this - and thinking that I should go eat some nuts or something because they're nutritious.

I think it is great that you came up with an alternative "reward"/routine for completing food shopping. I can relate to using food to reward or treat myself for completing a task. I used to start my work week with what I called "McGriddle Mondays" (surprised McD hasn't used that yet😉) to get ready to face the week ahead. For me, I also think some of my overeating has been due to periods of restriction/dieting and then needing to have a break from the restrictions (yo-yoing). Some of it is habit, such as 3:00 chocolate fixes, and having to end the day with a dessert. There may still be more "whys" for me other than rewards, rebelling restrictions & habits, so thank you for bringing this up, as I think you are right. We need to be aware of our why or triggers, because those can manifest in the future if we are unaware or don't find ways to manage or resolve them.

I think it's important to talk about what we're eating. We do a lot of that. In minutia. We lable foods good and evil. We obsess about the "right" diet, calories, choices, etc....
But that's really the easy part.
The hard part is figuring out WHY we're eating. WHY we ate ourselves to morbid obesity, and what need we were trying to address when we put that food in our bodies.
I feel like if those needs aren't figured out and meaningfully delt with this whole process is really vulnerable to failure.
I feel like we never talk about why we ate so much.
I'm not saying we need pity party hour with extensive confessionals chronicallying every challenge, insecurity and poopy life event...lol.
But I feel like sharing those little eureka moments were we've identified some little unmet need that resulted in bad choices....would be a good thing.
For instance.... I used to get the KFC six million calorie dinner with the 12 pieces of chicken, 3 sides, biscuits and the chocolate chip cake....after grocery shopping. It was almost an unwritten thing. I deserved it. In some weird justification, I figured that I was shopping, carrying stuff in, putting things away, selflessly giving up time to a task I sort of despised for my family. Of course I deserved chicken!
But really, what I wanted at the core of things....was support. I wanted to feel appreciated, and rewarded for being a good doobie. I wanted to feel nurtured after a stressful task that I hated.
These days....we have a new rule at the house. The person who does the grocery shopping gets to relax and take a bath while the other person does the cooking. And you know what? It works. I feel appreciated, supported. And I eat a more balanced decent dinner and have a win. That feels good. I learned that I geninely don't like asking for help...and that I need to more often. Just writing that makes me cringe.
My bariatric therapist did a lot of talking about the "whys" of over eating, and finding ways to get the desired needs met that aren't self sabotaging.
I wish we talked about the "whys" more.

I love non-carbonated drinks, like vodka and juice cocktails. They come in easy, and it's a lot of fun. But I don't advise anyone to drink alcohol because it's a very insidious thing. Alcohol can be called poison. It destroys almost all the organs, but you feel perfect, and you're in a good mood. I've been drinking like that for over a year, and my liver said, "Bye, buddy. It got to the point where I woke up in the hospital with terrible results. I was told either you quit drinking, or you're going to die soon. I'm afraid of death, so the choice was obvious. After I was discharged from the hospital, I wanted a drink and thought about joining Alcoholics Anonymous & Other Mutual Aid Support Groups. It all worked out, and now I've been sober for over a year. It's a small victory for my loved ones and me.

Wine only for me. But let me warn you, you will get buzzed so quickly and my experience is I tend to “black out” if more than one glass. Being home alone for these months has prompted me to drink more out of boredom and I can see it potentially being an issue. My friend had VSG two years ago and is currently in rehab, alcohol is a slippery slope after WLS.

The issue for people post surgery is addiction transfer & alcohol is an easy transfer from food.
I enjoyed a glass of something (wine, gin, scotch) every night pre surgery but since my surgery I probably have a glass less than once a month. And then I rarely finish it. I also found that my taste buds have changed & a lot of alcohol tastes too sweet & just plain blah! Have to admit I don’t really miss it.
If I do have something to drink it’s gin & tonic. I drink it very slowly - an hour + for a low ball. Most of the bubbles dissipate quickly which helps with the carbonation issue.
A couple of things to consider: The carbonation fills you quickly & causes issues like discomfort. If you’re drinking, you’re not eating. Alcohol will dehydrate you. Alcohol has no nutritional value.

My dr told me that alcohol was a serious no-go post op. She literally described it as becoming as addictive as CRACK because of the way the body processes it (post bypass)... was she exaggerating?

every WLS group I go to... people talk about having a stall at 3ish weeks out... just be patient. You didn't gain the weight overnight, it won't come off overnight either.

it's the infamous "three week stall" - happens to almost all of us (it's not always the third week - it happens within the first 4-6 weeks after surgery - but it's most often the third week, thus, the name). If you do a search of this site on the three week stall, you will find over 17,000 posts on it (and no, I am NOT kidding). Just stick to your program and stay off the scale for a few days - and know that it'll break and you'll be on your way again. It usually lasts 1-2 weeks - but I've heard of it lasting up to three for some people. (oh - and you'll likely hit more of these stalls later on your journey - perfectly normal "feature" of weight loss...)

I would seriously doubt that this is an insurance requirement because it's about the body's ability to heal. I'm sorry you're finding it so difficult to stay away from the nicotine. I'm not surprised. You're dealing with a lot as you move towards surgery and the stress makes us want to find a coping mechanism that's familiar to us. If you are on the pre-op diet, it's even harder since you can't cope using food! I know I was watching my friends eating fried food and drink sodas over the weekend and I had a sad salad with a tiny bit of low-fat dressing and the lettuce was all brown and gross and I wanted to shove all their onion rings and french fries in my mouth.
I hope they don't cancel your surgery and that you are able to stay away from the vaping moving forward!

Yes, I had a simple gastroplasty (stomach stapling) in 1980. I lost 75 lbs by 6 months and then stopped losing. Over the next ten years I gained it all back. I had NO nutritional or psych guidance at all. In 1990 I had Roux-en-Y gastric bypass, and the same thing happened. I lost about 75 lbs by six months and stopped losing. Again, I had NO nutritional guidance or follow up. I returned to my original set point of over 300 lbs, where I remained despite many attempts at weight loss.
Fast forward 30 years... Just before COVID hit, I met a man who told me he had RNY revision as a prerequisite for knee replacement surgery. I had no idea that a revision was possible. I was certainly interested, but then the pandemic arrived.
Six months ago, I started thinking about it again and contacted a bariatric center 90 miles from my home. A barium swallow and an endoscopy revealed that the staples from the prior surgery had given way allowing a fistula (opening) between pouch and stomach, which back then was not cut away, just separated from the pouch by staples.
It was obvious that there was a physical cause for the failure of the earlier surgeries. The surgeon assured me that the staple failure was not my fault due to up-chucking or pouch stretching, but was actually caused by the peristalsis of the stomach. He said that about 75% of the earlier WLS failed for this reason. Today, different kinds of staples and closure protocol are in place to prevent this kind of failure.
I was put in the bariatric program to have a revision. I've lost 44 lbs to date and still have a couple of requirements to complete before revision surgery is scheduled. I'm hoping to have it in October.
I'm excited but wary. Deep down I am afraid that the same thing will happen. My age (73) and prior surgeries are hurdles so I don't expect miraculous results. My hopeful goal is to get under 200 lbs. My dream goal is to reach 175 lbs. or lower.
In the past six months, I've read over a dozen books about bariatric surgery and food addiction and collected a slew of bariatric cookbooks. I'm much better prepared than I was for the earlier surgeries. I now realize that I am a sugar/food addict, that "maintenance" doesn't work for me. I have to be continually vigilant about avoiding sugar, flour, wheat, rice, and processed foods. The only successful way to conquer addiction is abstinence.
How Weight Loss Surgery Really Works, by Matthew Weiner **
Weight Loss Surgery for Dummies, By Marina Kurian, Barbara Thompson, Brian Davidson **
Food Junkies: Recovery from Food Addiction, by Vera Tarman ***
Weight Loss Surgery Does Not Treat Food Addiction, by Connie Stapleton ***
Why Diets Fail (because youʼre addicted to sugar), by Nicole Avena & John Talbott ***
Bariatric Surgery & Food Addiction, by Philip Werdell *** (written for the clinician, but I found it valuable}
The Success Habits of Weight Loss Surgery Patients, by Colleen Cook***
A Pound of Cure, by Matthew Weiner (Focus on plant-based eating, not as restrictive as Bright Line Eating)
Bright Line Eating, by Susan Peirce Thompson (similar to Kay Shepardʼs food plan without the 12-step program)
Food Addiction: The Body Knows, by Kay Sheppard (12-step program, Focus on binging)
From The First Bite: A Complete Guide to Recovery, by Kay Sheppard (12-step program, Focus on binging)
Never Binge Again, by Glenn Livingston
Lick the Sugar Habit, by Nancy Appleton (A bit outdated)

Symptoms of diabetes can include polyuria (frequent urination) and nocturia (nighttime urination). With sleep apnea, nocturia is often present as as well. So, if your apnea and diabetes resolve, you may very well not experience nocturia in the future.