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Pity Party - Frustrated - Venting!



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Bored - Best description I can come up with. Sitting here @ about 80lbs lost and in a stall. Why? Because I'm lazy and gotten complacent!! Joined the gym... haven't gone yet.

The first 80lbs were beyond easy. I'm one of the lucky ones - No complications, no adverse reactions to any kinds of food/drink. All my friends/family are commenting on how good I'm looking and how proud they are. I'm even happy with where I am for now. Here's the rub - I'm happy (yeah, I know that sounds stupid) - Able to do more, feel better, and truly enjoying life. The problem? That's the black hole I get into. Happy = Family, friends, boating, food, etc and ultimately leads to my not following the plan. I've got at least 40lbs to go. Looking at the numbers, that means I'm "only" 2/3's to my goal.

This is without a doubt the best decision I've ever made for ME - Now I have to figure out how to use this tool for the rest of my life - Not just for 80lbs. I know what I HAVE to do, now I just need to figure out for myself HOW to do it. I'm not much of a tracker (I manage to track for a few days, goes well, I get lazy.... you get the picture). The one thing that HAS worked is getting on the scale every day. I'm acknowleding that's what works for ME - it holds me accountable and makes me more aware of the slips and their ramifications.

This forum is awesome for making me look at what I've done right and what I've done wrong. Seeing others with the same issues helps me know this is normal and often part of the process. I have a feeling that I'll be on here for a long time (if nothing else, just for reality checks).... So in closing, thank you ALL for your insight and comradarie. You've made this journey much easier to understand and relate to.

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Hello! I am so there! Down 73 pounds...stuck at 70-73 pounds for the last few weeks...trying to break through and get to One-derland! LOL I just got my first vaccine and as soon as I feel "safe" I WILL be going to the gym and I HOPE that will be what it takes to get me to goal. I totally understand what you mean about being happy...I mean, I haven't been this low since I had my baby...25 years ago! I've dropped a couple of sizes...even my feet have shrunk! Everyone tells me how great I look! But I don't want to get complacent, and lose everything I've gained lost! Good luck and know that you are NOT alone!

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I haven't gotten as far with my weight loss, I'm on week 3. However I was thinking something similar about what my life will be like without food for entertainment and bonding with others... Like what is enjoyable in my world outside of food and how to keep my activities fun and consistent.(outside of fast food)[emoji30] thanks for sharing your thoughts, I definitely feel less alone!

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On 4/1/2021 at 1:00 AM, MandoGetsSleeved said:

Now I have to figure out how to use this tool for the rest of my life - Not just for 80lbs. I know what I HAVE to do, now I just need to figure out for myself HOW to do it. I'm not much of a tracker (I manage to track for a few days, goes well, I get lazy.... you get the picture). The one thing that HAS worked is getting on the scale every day. I'm acknowleding that's what works for ME - it holds me accountable and makes me more aware of the slips and their ramifications.

You are completely correct in your thinking. These are two very important steps - realising you have to work out how to make this work for you & then actually discovering what does work for you. I’m happy to share my experiences & what works for me, as do most on this forum, but there is no guarantee it will work for you. Our lives are different, our health needs are different, our food preferences are different, … Though trying aspects of what works for others is a good place to start.

I weighed myself every day when I was losing too, still do almost every day & I do it for the same reason as you: accountability. In the past, I wouldn’t weigh myself I’f I thought I’d put on weight - if I didn’t see the numbers on the scales I could convince myself I hadn’t gained even if my clothes were tight.

Complacency can be a slippery slope. We’ve all been there. I’ve lost weight so now I can relax my diet &/or reward myself with food treats. Finding another way to reward yourself for your weight loss successes (spa day, a new clothing accessory, new hair colour, a tattoo, …) can be helpful. I get a lot of satisfaction from discovering new non scale victories too like buying a smaller size, realising I’m the slim person in the mirror, my nieces & nephews sitting in an armchair with me, being able to put on tights or socks while standing up, etc.

In the past, complacency lead me to regain any weight I’d lost. A big realisation for me was understanding that the changes I made to lose the weight have to be lifelong changes if I want to keep the weight off. Not just mouthing those words but actually enacting them. I try not to think of how I eat now as a ‘diet’ but just how & what I eat. I’m only two years out so I have a long way to go.

Congratulations on your weight loss so far. Hope the rest goes just as smoothly for you.

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On 6/8/2021 at 12:04 PM, acbenford said:

I haven't gotten as far with my weight loss, I'm on week 3. However I was thinking something similar about what my life will be like without food for entertainment and bonding with others... Like what is enjoyable in my world outside of food and how to keep my activities fun and consistent.(outside of fast food) thanks for sharing your thoughts, I definitely feel less alone!

Sent from my moto e using BariatricPal mobile app

Food can still entertain, just not in the quantities you consumed beforehand. I've been reading so many posts with the theme of missing food....I have to admit it goes through my mind sometimes too. A change that I've recently made is to not be distracted by TV, phone, computer etc, and with every single mouthful think about the nutrition, texture, taste. I feel like I'm eating a lot more mindfully, and starting to really enjoy a (small) meal.

I've started growing herbs from seeds. Strange I know, but I work from home in a very isolated place that we have just moved to. No close friends nearby, and sadly had to have our dogs put to sleep last weekend. I have no company at all during the day, and just the family at night. The delivery man must think I'm nuts, I chatter away non stop to him! My point is, I am inside all day at my desk, so taking an interest in growing herbs and shortly a full vege garden gets me outside and doing something that keeps me active and my mind busy.

This site is a great place to get advice and just chat to people. Good luck on your journey, it will get easier every day.

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On 8/18/2021 at 8:17 AM, Neensyb said:

food can still entertain, just not in the quantities you consumed beforehand. I've been reading so many posts with the theme of missing food....I have to admit it goes through my mind sometimes too. A change that I've recently made is to not be distracted by TV, phone, computer etc, and with every single mouthful think about the nutrition, texture, taste. I feel like I'm eating a lot more mindfully, and starting to really enjoy a (small) meal.

I've started growing herbs from seeds. Strange I know, but I work from home in a very isolated place that we have just moved to. No close friends nearby, and sadly had to have our dogs put to sleep last weekend. I have no company at all during the day, and just the family at night. The delivery man must think I'm nuts, I chatter away non stop to him! My point is, I am inside all day at my desk, so taking an interest in growing herbs and shortly a full vege garden gets me outside and doing something that keeps me active and my mind busy.

This site is a great place to get advice and just chat to people. Good luck on your journey, it will get easier every day.

Hi neensyb, I am in Queensland too 🙋‍♀️

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I can relate. I did great the first year. Then stupid COVID hit and I gained weight, which I had promised myself I would never do again. And I got out of ONEderland, which again I promised myself I'd never do. But I picked myself up, dusted myself off, forgave myself and am starting back with the basics of Protein, monitoring/tracking food, Water intake, and exercise and the weight is coming off again. The WLS still works! It's a tool that will work as long as I use it.

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I can relate. I did great the first year. Then stupid COVID hit and I gained weight, which I had promised myself I would never do again. And I got out of ONEderland, which again I promised myself I'd never do. But I picked myself up, dusted myself off, forgave myself and am starting back with the basics of Protein, monitoring/tracking food, Water intake, and exercise and the weight is coming off again. The WLS still works! It's a tool that will work as long as I use it.

Hope you have been well! I just downloaded the app again. I started going to school and working as a way to improve myself not only physically but mentally and emotionally. I gained 4lbs this month and I lost 2 lbs but I wanted to connect with the community here so I wouldn't have to struggle solo!

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Welcome back @acbenford. Just an update from the OP - Still a horrible tracker, but daily weigher. Still working for me and if I vary more than 2-3 lbs I get back focused for a week or more and that settles be back into a better routine for several more weeks. Losing very slowly these days, but still losing so not complaining.

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I am seeing this complacency in myself this month. In a few days I will be 9 month PO and I have GAINED a pound this last month (of course, I just spent yesterday in a plane so I'm certainly retaining water). I eat sweets almost every day. I am annoyed because all the YouTube videos I watched from Dr. Matthew Weiner promised me I would be craving produce and wouldn't want sweets anymore. LIES. Not only do I still crave sweets, I can eat a fair amount of sweets and crap, and I still haven't learned to stop when I've had ENOUGH rather than when I'm FULL/stuffed.

I also find that my brain wasn't operated on: I have this same desire to eat when faced with travel delays/cancellations, which happens a lot in my job. I keep trying to schedule visits with the bariatric therapist, but the office doesn't even call me back....

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“I also find that my brain wasn’t operated on”!!! I loved this quote! Such truth! My brain is remembering how much I used to love snacking in front of the TV etc! Ugh! I’m needing a brain retrain 2 yrs out! My belly suffers because my brain thinks it’s in charge again! HOLD ON BATGIRL! Operation BrainRetrain activated!!!!!!!

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