ANewJourneyAwaits

So, I feel funny writing about this, but...has anyone else ever experienced a negative change in their social life post-op?
I had my surgery back in January. Although my physical health has made drastic improvements, I'm afraid my mental health has taken a toll.
I noticed people have been treating me very differently since having the surgery. I've been getting so many rude comments, I can't keep up. They think I "took the easy way out (not realizing it was actually quite the opposite: the last resort)," and/or are freaked out by all my new eating habits and restrictions or are saying cruel things like "oh, you'll just gain it back like so-and-so did anyway, you watch." A lot of them have also proceeded to claim my changed appearance "weirds them out." Some of my now ex-friends have even gone so far to complain that I "betrayed the body positivity movement by giving into society's expectations of what women should look like." What the actual heck? Even dating, something I thought would get better as I lost weight, is just as bad as it was before. Since I can't drink alcohol anymore or eat a lot of foods, guys have been pretty hostile. Although I've been private about my surgery while dating (simply stating I have a strict diet I need to follow), that hasn't stopped guys from being mean or rude.
Bottom line here is I've lost a lot of friends this past year and my love life is no better than it was. I'm extremely lonely and depressed.
Has anyone else ever encountered this? What can I do to change it? Why is there so much social stigma towards this surgery?

So, I posted previously that I was having a hard time getting all my Protein and Water in. That is still kind of true but at day 7, it's like I turned a corner. I can drink normally (not a gulp, but not a tiny sip like before) and I can get in 1.5 oz of food at a time (protein first, then fruit or veg, as per the diet) and an 8 oz shake so I can get closer to my protein goal. I am terrified of stretching my sleeve out because I can drink more and I can get more at day 10. I do 8 oz of Protein Shake before it gives me 42g of protein in one go. And NONE of my tastes have changed and nothing has "sat" wrong with me. I have tried pureed fruits (baby food), sugar free popsicles, eggs (they got "caught" the first time but we made them runny so now they are okay), ricotta bake, and tomorrow tuna puree. Nothing has made me ill yet. I don't get hungry like before, but I do feel hunger sometimes and it isn't head hunger.
The only problems I have now is the stupid redness from my incisions as an allergic reaction to the glue, I get hot flashes sometimes from the hormones I guess, and I am still very tired, even when hitting water goals.
I don't know, I guess I thought I was going to only be able to tolerate food a little, not like anything that I previously did, have no hunger pains, and get sick from a lot of the stuff I've tried. So far, none of that has happened. From what I read, my experience isn't super normal and I hope I am not doing something bad to my sleeve without knowing it. Anyone else have this? I am curious.

Edited to add: I feel very, very little restriction when I drink water now. It's there with food, certainly, but water seems to go on down easily.

Im doing pretty well. I’m also on purées. I can fit in all purées and one shake. So I am getting there. I also don’t have to take tiny sips anymore. Just normal ones. Not huge gulps but normal drinks. I’ve lost 14lbs in 9 days. Unfortunately I had a reaction to my surgical glue and broke out in a red rash around each incision. I had to go on prednisone from my surgeon with protonix and benedryl that makes me so sleepy. Other than that, no pain. I feel great! Feeling very happy (albeit itchy). Can’t wait till that subsides and I’ll be at 100%. :) hope everyone else is having a good recovery!

I drink Sleepy Time Chamomile and Decaf green tea. I just ordered Moroccan Mint Tea and Peppermint when my stomach goes funny. Trying to give up coffee.

Im doing pretty well. I’m also on purées. I can fit in all purées and one shake. So I am getting there. I also don’t have to take tiny sips anymore. Just normal ones. Not huge gulps but normal drinks. I’ve lost 14lbs in 9 days. Unfortunately I had a reaction to my surgical glue and broke out in a red rash around each incision. I had to go on prednisone from my surgeon with protonix and benedryl that makes me so sleepy. Other than that, no pain. I feel great! Feeling very happy (albeit itchy). Can’t wait till that subsides and I’ll be at 100%. :) hope everyone else is having a good recovery!

RTL, I am having one hell of a time getting in Protein. If I push it I can get 64 oz of Water but I’ve only managed two small glasses of milk for protein today. It’s hard! At least I can take normalish drinks of water now and it doesn’t kill me. Tomorrow is my puree stage.

For those post op...how are you doing with Protein?
my goal is 60, I just started purées yesterday but today I got 20. That was pushing it. The nutritionist at my doctor said to try to eat my tiny meal every 3 hours. I made some refried Beans purée with extra unflavored protein, Ricotta bake. I tried an egg today but didn’t sit well after only 1/4 of it. I can only manage about 1-1.5 ounce of whatever.

You can't afford your liver to be too large for the surgery. You can't cheat on this. If you're cheating now on the pre-op, what are you going to do post-op and for the rest of your life? Think about that. I'm not being mean, I'm just asking you to think about the long-term.

Rachel, my sleeve blush has gotten better but I had a reaction to the pain meds they gave me. I’m not in so much pain now but I feel still loopy and I’m on day 4.

So, I have basically been quarantined d since March. I have been fortunate and worked from home the entire time. I think what I am
Most nervous about is catching covid when in the hospital, as I will be in there a day. Also, I won’t have a mask on during surgery. I have to take a test soon for covid and am hoping my doctor will too. Does anyone else have the same concerns? What did you do to calm yourself?

So I had my VSG on the 24th. Since then I am feeling rough. I felt better this morning but after that, I started feeling crappy. My incisions hurt (they sent me home with no pain meds!) and the gas pain is still unreal. I’m up and walking almost every hour that I am awake but I’m quite exhausted a lot. Also my face and chest turned red but was told this is a sleeve blush. It can happen from healing or having a reaction to the Anesthesia. I’m trying to get down all my Water but it’s rough. I’m definitely in the “what did I do phase.” Kind of feel like crying. Sigh. I know I’ll get over this but right now I just feel weak and in pain.

It happens to me. No matter how small the sip is, I get a crampy feeling in the middle of my chest.

Hang in there! For most people, the first week after surgery is the worst part of the whole journey, but once you get through it, it’s mostly smooth sailing. A lot of us have those feelings of regret in the beginning. I remember waking up from my surgery thinking, “Why did I do this to myself?” and wishing I could go back in time and cancel the surgery. Five months later, I’m seeing great results and so many improvements in my health and my life, and I’m so glad I did this. It’s hard right now, but you have a lot to look forward to!

Also I have anxiety and am afraid of something going wrong.

So I had my VSG on the 24th. Since then I am feeling rough. I felt better this morning but after that, I started feeling crappy. My incisions hurt (they sent me home with no pain meds!) and the gas pain is still unreal. I’m up and walking almost every hour that I am awake but I’m quite exhausted a lot. Also my face and chest turned red but was told this is a sleeve blush. It can happen from healing or having a reaction to the Anesthesia. I’m trying to get down all my Water but it’s rough. I’m definitely in the “what did I do phase.” Kind of feel like crying. Sigh. I know I’ll get over this but right now I just feel weak and in pain.

I won’t miss “losing” the remote and then finding it under me when I stand up.

Hi!
I really appreciate what you shared as I'm heading into Gastric Bypass surgery on 12/8/2020.
I particularly identified with staying with a spouse because I was overweight and felt that no one would want me. I had actually had this surgery scheduled for Feb. 2019, but my husband refused to acknowledge that he had diabetes and developed double vision, so I had to cancel because we felt we could not have both parents incapacitated. There were also issues of mild physical abuse (hitting, pushing), as well as verbal, emotional, and financial abuse. Turns out that I needed to lose his 330 lbs. prior to getting my surgery done and ended a 25 year marriage. Life is so much better!
I wish you the same feelings of relief, freedom, and confidence. You can do this.

Lots of hugs!!!! Day 3 right? I felt it too. Just keep pushing through! I’ve been doing the chewable Gas-x. I chew it to a nasty paste and then sip Water and swallow. Goes down okay and I haven’t had any issues. Very helpful. Have you tried maybe a different liquid? Crystal light? Warm? Plain water? Popsicles? I’m just throwing all kinds of things out there.
Hoping it gets better for you!

I’m feeling the what the heck did I do. Liquids are much harder to drink today. :(

I’m feeling the what the heck did I do. Liquids are much harder to drink today. :(

The first few days are the hardest. It will start to get better soon. Just keep walking and sipping.

Thats a great post. I pounded that into my own head, as I was pretty worried about the recovery.

Many (most?) people have these feelings of buyer's remorse right after surgery. I certainly did! The first few weeks after surgery are the worst because you're still recovering from the surgery itself, maybe in pain, you're extremely limited in what you can eat, adjusting to the huge changes to your life that you've put in motion, and you're not yet seeing the benefits of the weight loss. It all gets better! Just wait a couple of months, and you'll feel better, you'll be able to eat "normal" foods, you'll get used to your new diet and maybe even discover new favorite foods, and you'll see amazing weight loss and all the benefits that come with it.
It's totally normal to worry when you've just gone through a major surgery, but weight loss surgery has a very low complication rate, so chances are that as long as you follow your surgeon's instructions, you will be totally fine and soon be able to enjoy your new life!

I just had mine. This was a legitimate concern of mine too so I talked to my surgeon and he said the exact same thing that the other two ladies are saying. That the hospital is completely clear of Covid patients and then if you’re waiting you could be waiting a long time because this disease isn’t going anywhere and you still have to get a vaccine and it has to be at 90% herd immunity. So you might be waiting a long time and also they take every precaution so I decided to do it now because he was right. It’s better to catch it at a smaller weight then right now where it’s been shown obesity gives way to more severe symptoms of Covid.

Also they’re supposed to be a gigantic spike in January even more so than right now due to Christmas.

Hello! I am awake enough in the hospital now to talk. Yesterday was quite miserable as the gas kept hitting my new stomach and I was super nauseous. I slept through the night. I’m still woozy and bit sleepy but much better from yesterday. I’m walking and the incisions don’t feel too bad now that they gas has subsided (except in my right shoulder). Overall the doctor said it went great. I’m now able drink 4 small cups of water—from the little cups they give to you.

The only other thing is it feels like I may have heartburn.