JulieNYC

Betty, If you look on page 9 of my PS thread, I posted pics yesterday. I feel great! Can't go to the gym yet tho. Can't WAIT for the December challenge. I'm going to go for 20 workouts, but let myself count two workouts within one day as two workouts, since my last PS is December 20th and I otherwise couldn't make it.

Pics from today's shopping spree! Can't believe it's 25 days to my LAST PS -- woohoo! Scar pics within the week -- promise. They're turning out ok (knock on wood). The place that dips low on my backside is still pretty raw, but other than that, there's only one place where the scabs haven't fallen off. I bet they do within the week. Come on, recovery!

Usually when I read these types of topics, my feelings line up exactly with those before me. This time, I find myself coming out a bit different. I think PS helps IMMENSELY with body image. Now maybe this is because I lost 200+ lbs and am 35 years old. The improvement I got from my TT and BL was so dramatic that I felt like a new person. Now I'll never be a bikini model, but I will wear a bikini. Haha. What I mean is, as long as your expectations are reasonable, it is very possible that your body image will dramatically improve with PS. Mine did and continues to (25 days to my last PS -- woohoo!) That said, I do identify with those before me who stress that (1) head issues are best addressed in therapy (I've gone weekly during this journey and consider it as important as the band to my recovery), and (2) my body will never be "perfect" not only because I used to be 350+ but because I'm a woman and we just never see ourselves that way.

Throw them away Betty (the leftovers). That's the only thing that works, in my book! I know some would consider it a waste, but not us with eating compulsions. It saves us a lot of heart ache not to have it around....

It's a continuation of the TT scar and goes circumferential around my waist (upper hips really). It's a perfect circle but for in the very back where it dips into a v between my "cheeks." I haven't seen that part myself. Maybe Thurs. when the stitches come out!

Update on my progress in "Passing for Thin" I've been trying to weigh a little less often -- like maybe 2-3 times a week instead of every day. This has been easier to do since I've been recuperating at my parents' house and am not home in my routine, which involves the morning weigh in. Anyway, I'd decided to maintain my weight while I was home. Losing is always exciting, but I need to try to maintain for several reasons, including being strong enough to jump straight into another surgery in a month. Anyway, I've been eating bandster quantities and making many good choices, but eating many more treats or restaurant meals than I normally would. I woke up this morning freaking out that I might have gained a couple of pounds. I looked in the mirror and my chest didn't seem as bony, my legs seemed a little heavier. So I went to weigh and low and behold, I was down 1/2 lb. All this goes to show is that I'm still frustrated with my inability to see what's in the mirror. I guess that will come with time, once my body quits changing.

All the time. When I moved to NYC 6 years ago, I was about 280. So none of the friends and acquaintances I've made here know me as a thin person. Literally any time I run into someone I haven't seen in a year, I tell them who I am first to avoid the awkwardness. That part I'm ok with. The weirder part is when someone who has known me thinner doesn't recognize me. I went to my cousin's wedding in July and my uncle, who has known me since I was like 5, didn't recognize me. As in, I was talking to him and 5 minutes into the conversation he figured out who I was (he'd been playing along nicely -- I had no idea he didn't recognize me). That wasn't a good moment for me. I don't like the thought that I'm so different that family doesn't recognize me. Anyway, it's just part of the process I guess. Hey, today's the 20th! A month from today is my LAST LAST LAST surgery (inner thighs, mons and boobs)!

Thank you, thank you, thank you. Attached is a recent pic -- it occurred to me you all might not know what I look like clothed -- haha!

DRAIN FREE!! AS FREE AS THE WIND!! (Hummed to "Born Free"). Ahhh, drain free. Such a lovely way to be. 4 more days and I'll hopefully be staple and stitch free too -- woohoo! These 2 drains didn't hurt at all -- I didn't even feel them come out. So, average this one with pulling the tape off and I'll come out about right on the pain scale, haha.

Ha, ha, ha, Boo! You crack me up! Thanks for the standing ovation. A tiny piece of me feels bad that I'm going to "settle" for a number that has me officially "overweight" and that I'll be one who touts that the charts aren't made for everyone, but that's the way it'll be. 136 is too skinny for me. Dawn, a 10 at your height without PS is INCREDIBLE. You're officially thin too. I think in a year when your skin catches up, you may settle into an 8 without losing any more weight. But if not, that's ok too. Yea, ladies! We're coping with life now, I guess, huh?

10 days will be more than plenty. I'm only 10 days out now and I've been fully functional for 4 days, even with the leg surgery at the same time. I seriously think 4 days would be plenty, so you'll have a good visit wiht your Mom. I'm a side sleeper too. I slept on my side for the first time last night. I had to sleep on my back until last night when I could finally make it work. I wore a zip up sweatshirt home from the hospital. Once I was home I was comfortable stretching in and out of a sleeveless men's t-shirt (what I would call a "wife beater" -- I don't know what the real term for them is!). I had pinrose drains that stayed in 2 days (or maybe it was 3). They were easily covered by a sweater -- they're under the bandages. If you have full drains (Jackson Pratt) -- which I don't think is done, but I'm not absolutely sure -- the wouldn't be covered in a sweater, you'd just have to wear something loose and deal with it until they're gone. They would have fit in a sweatshirt but not a sweater. I feel sure you'll have pinrose drains that will fit in a sweater and are no big deal at all. The arms really don't hurt, in my experience. They sting if I stretch them in the wrong way, but they really don't hurt. As for the size, even with the bandages, they're smaller than they were with the skin, so all my clothes fit. Even my size 4P Ann Taylor jackets fit, bandages and all Nothing to worry about. I predict it will go much easier than you fear. Are you having heavy sedation or full-blown general anesthesia? Dad does it under sedation if all he's doing is arms. That would make it an even easier recovery, if you're a candidate to avoid general! Best of luck.

Paulax, I just asked my Dad and he said the stats will show that a TT's mortality rates range from 1 in 1,000 to 1 in 20,000 for a normal BMI patient who is otherwise healthy, depending on a couple of factors. The most significant one is whether it is combined with other procedures, in particular substantial liposuction, which increases the risks of TT. A plain TT in a healthy person would have a mortality risk of closer to 1 in 20,000. I guess those are odds I thought I could live with. Scary though -- I hear you.

Actually, my name is now Julian. JUST KIDDING! Haha -- yes that's my hand holding my drain up. Too funny. My Dad just got a kick out of that one....

Oh Faith, you're going to get there too! I'm not worried one bit about you! Hang in there, sweetheart. There are so many more of you who are going to have this sweet experience. It's incredible. I can't wait for December 20th. OK, Lynn, I had a MAJOR phobia about the drains before my TT as well. On be BL and arms, they used what are called "pinrose" drains that are under the bandages and you don't ever see or even feel come out. That's the best case (so, Enterprise, you're going to be fine). On the TT, I had 4 drains that stayed in for 5 days on the first 2 and maybe 8 days on the other two. On my legs, the first two stayed in for 4 days and the last two come out tomorrow, which will be day 11. Almost nothing has been draining for the last 4 days -- like really miniscule amounts (5 cc's or less per day) but Dad is super paranoid about seromas in the lower leg. He says they're very prone to them and is leaving the drains in as a precaution. I hate it, but the worst thing (or among them) that could happen to me would be to get back to NYC (I"m in AL with my parents) and develop problems, so I'll deal with it. The drains themselves are NOT painful at all. I don't feel them and though they're an inconvenience, they don't keep me from doing anything, other than limiting my clothing choice. Having them taken out is NOT fun (of the 6 I've had removed in my 2 surgeries, 4 were complete non-events and 2 were horrifically painful -- can't explain it). But would I not do PS over it? HA! NO WAY! I completely get how it's freaky to someone who's not had them before, but they're not nearly as bad as your imagination is, I promise. And if you can convince someone else to empty them for you, you don't even have to think about them. As a reminder to why drains aren't the end of the world, here's a "before" shot I just came across on my parents' computer. When I contemplate what my body's been through and how great I feel after my 2 rounds of PS, I thank God for the drains. Big hugs to all, Julie

OK, I had some staples taken out tonight and I got the quickest look at my legs. They're going to look so great once the inner thighs are done! I can't wait. I think the outers look great, but it feels half done. And that's ok too. It's not that long of a wait!

It took a long, long time, but yes, now I feel like an athlete. I ran the NYC marathon a week ago! And I'm planning to run more! I only buy special runner socks. I spend more on any one piece of running clothing than on anything I wear to work. My body is as toned as it can be, given that it's lost over 200 lbs. Yep. I feel like an athlete. Thanks for asking the question -- it made me feel good!

Awesome time and distance Dawn. You're going to rock that half marathon! WOohoo! Way to go! Boo, I think I'm at my final weight. I don't think I'm aiming for 136 after all. I don't want to be any thinner, I don't think. MY face is on the border of hollow. I'm at a peek time of my cycle, so I'm probably going to settle in the low 140s and that's fine with me. I'm really not going to actively try to lose more weight. I wear a consistent size 4P and that's really small enough for me. I officially don't think I'm fat.

For me, it's necessary to have PS to get back to "textbook." The PS is called a mons lift. There is co much variety in the looks of "lady parts' though that my impression is that men don't notice too much. For me, I just want it pulled up anyway. I feel very strongly about it.

He said it was "negligeable." He took 12 lbs off my stomach the first time, but said he didn't remember if they told him how much it all weighed but he'd be surprised if it were more than 2 lbs (which I'll get back with my implants next month, so it comes out in the wash). He took 8 inches of skin off my thighs, but it didn't weigh much because it really didn't have any fat or other tissue come off with it, and it was very thinned out skin from having been so heavy. I was surprised, honestly -- I thought we'd be taking off another 7 or so lbs with this surgery. Sitting where I sit now (at goal), I can tell you it doesn't matter. 2 weeks ago I thought it mattered, but it really doesn't now that I'm here.

OK, I got the QUICKEST peek at my arms tonight and I'm going to be super happy! First of all, the scar is scary and long, but it's so well placed. You really have to contort to see it. Plus Dad said of all the scars, knock on wood, this one should flatten out and fade the most. Don't know why he thinks that -- my research reveals there are some arm travesties, but he said not to worry. Wow. I really like how they turned out and it's only day 6! Can't wait for continued results. Anyway, the pics aren't great (I couldn't buy enough time to check the pics before getting rebandaged) but I think you'll get the idea.... I took the one with my arm straight up so you can see that the scar really is long ane heinous at the moment. When the stitches come out, it won't be ropey like that and more, though it'll still be long. [ATTACH][/ATTACH]

Yes, I have arm pics from before. As soon as I can take some afters, I'll post them side by side. Paulax, you might be my new favorite person! Wink.

Betty, I'm SO PROUD OF YOU for not putting off your fill again. Let us know how your restriction is over the next few days as you start back on solids. I'm really thinking about you hard! No more back burner for you. Good decision!

OK, so the first one is from several weeks ago, but within just a few lbs (as my weight never changes these days). The second one is day 4 post-op. You can see how there's really no more bulge on the thigh -- cool, huh! I haven't seen what I look like without the garment on. Several days until the stitches come out. Arm dressing will come off first and then I should have better pics of the arms at least! (Please don't feel like you have to force yourself to post too much encouragement for me -- I know we've got a long, long, long way to go until we see the final results here -- I just wanted yall to get the "picture" of all stages!)

Dawn, it's a date!! Jan 2009 in Disney World. I think "LosingJustMe" will probably be running it then too. Woohoo! Yes - awesome. In the meantime, your current 1/2 is going to go great. I'm so excited that you're running! Stick to the taper, ok, it'll help you for the race, even though you're going to want to run more....

Diane, you look amazing!!! WOohoo, way to go!