AlwaysCruising

On 9/18/2020 at 12:04 AM, Locken said:

I had both an encouraging and frustrating day. I don't know where else to vent since my surgery is private. My husband of 27 years is encouraging and accepting of my surgery plans, which I started in earnest today. I'm a few months from surgery (damn dietician requirements) but I am well researched and prepared to make a lifelong change. After discussing the hoops and loops, my husband made one last comment.

(Paraphrasing) "I support you in this surgery but I am pointing out that I want you to think through the fact that you will probably have an affair or divorce me. Or your personality will change. Or you'll think less of me because I'm somewhat overweight. And I want you to balance choice along with the advantage of better health and being thinner."

Our marriage is good but has had a few rocky seasons. I am normally active. He is not. I'm extroverted. He is not. There is some unhealthy co-dependent and emotional abuse. He refuses any marriage counseling or movement towards change. I've been in therapy for years, by myself.

I know this is more emotional abuse but essentially, I am being asked to DECIDE to gamble my marriage if I dare to consider surgery. He'll support me but if I push back even a little bit, with any kind of independence, any joy, or lust for life, I'm proving him correct. And it will be lorded over my head. *I* made the problem. I made the choice.

Any advice or insight on how to let guilt slide off your back? Or how to make a selfish decision for your own happiness?

I think he is expressing fear, but not doing it in the best way for you to hear that. Note that I have no examples of him being abusive, only this statement, but this is my thought based on the statement above.

And he isn’t wrong in his fear - there are very high rates of divorce (and addictive behavior for that matter) following Bariatric surgery. Fact. He would not likely know those stats, although he could, but his fear may be based on more reality than you or he realizes. I often note this to my patients in helping them come to a decision about Bariatric surgery. He seems to be doing something similar. People should be clear minded and have all the facts (not just the ones they are happy to consider). It is your decision, but what you do (positive or negative for you) does in fact effect him and vice versa.

On 10/4/2020 at 5:58 PM, ChubRub said:

Scored these at Aldi today. They are both delicious. 80 calories for 2 tbsp but can easily make a serving out of only 1 tbsp and make it just 40 calls!

Thanks! The whipped mixed berry from Philly cheese is also very good (25 calories for 2 Tbsp if I recall correctly!).

On 9/14/2020 at 9:25 AM, WishMeSmaller said:

No Aldi’s where I live😭😭😭

Trader Joe’s and Whole Foods are my places where I do 95% of my shopping.

We have Aldi’s but not Trader Joe’s or Whole Foods... I will trade you!!!

13 hours ago, Meadow76 said:

These are for Breakfast. But 9 pieces are way too much for me. 2-3 are good for breakfast or as snack. I even cut them up & put in omelette. They are new. Bought at my local Publix where they have other Jimmy Dean breakfast in refrigerator section. I’m sure Walmart will have soon too.

The “just crack an egg’ brand ones are very good. I am staying under 800 cal per day and so I use the ones that with an egg are under 200 calories each (there are 3). Pretty yummy!

On 9/5/2020 at 10:52 AM, Meadow76 said:

I tried this chocolate hummus with strawberries. Didn’t love it but helped with chocolate craving a bit.

The Hershey’s SPECIAL DARK cocoa powder is a for less caloric method 😄 I think it’s 15 calories for a TBSP and is delicious in oatmeal (with the sweetener of your choice!). Also good in the various mug cakes, etc.

12 hours ago, Meadow76 said:

I also wanted to try it. How much Protein & how much sugar?

I am scared of having anything that is 80 calories for 2 Tbsp in my house 😂

4 hours ago, Cheeseburgh said:

I got lucky, I ordered through Instacart and got it the first time I asked.

I ordered once from Aldi, they had only 50% of my order and the “fit and active” bread was mega bitter. Work would keep me from getting an order super early. But best for me to avoid bread anyway, I like it FAR too much!

15 hours ago, GreenTealael said:

Aldi , but be forewarned. It's hard to find

I can’t figure out if this is the bread that I tried from them. It tasted a little bitter to me BUT it was toasted and underneath a turkey and veggie version of sloppy joe’s so it wasn’t a fair chance even if that bread was the same one. I will try it 😊

@Starwarsandcupcakes I love the numbers for those tortillas, but those were the first of any type that I tried last week and I felt as if I swallowed a fishing boat 😣 I am now 2 months, so hopefully at month 3+ I can manage them better!

@GreenTealael Where did you find the bread? I haven’t been eating bread, but my go to was Nature’s Own light version (pretty good). But would love to try these!

All -

Below are some of the products that I love through my WW years and post Bariatric surgery 😊

I love the G Hughes BBQ sauces also, but the ketchup is like you made it at home for almost no calories; the sausages are yummy and way low calories (check the directions, you must cook them on 50% power!), and the Fudgepops take better and seem more “substantial” than the SF popsicles to me.

@S@ssen@ch hi - I didn’t say this because it didn’t seem pertinent at the time, but I’m a health care provider and fairly aware of the options overall. I wasn’t specific, but of course the LINX procedure is the one my surgeon now does. It is too soon for the second scope in my view, and normally would not have posted about it at all, but the topic was already started 🙂 I so hope some of this remits sooner and not later.

I appreciate your effort at helping.

@Lynda486 it was late when I posted (which is why it says “I normally do this” vs. “don’t do this” LOL). But I did want to add this - I was heartbroken when I read this in your post - “until this past week when my husband and my son separately told me that I need to do something about my loose skin.” I cannot imagine anyone saying that to you, much less beloved family members. I can’t imagine the callousness of it nor someone thinking you could just “do something” about it. You must feel you are damned if you do and damned if you don’t 😣. I hope you have people in your world that will be there for you and help you during this journey ❤️

I’ve got to be honest, there is no exercise for loose skin. If someone has lost a little bit of weight and has no muscle tone, they could gain a little muscle to push out the skin. But for significant weight loss, skin and exercise are completely separate issues. Unless someone is quite young or won the DNA lottery of skin, there will be loose skin.

I’m not trying to be Debbie downer, but those are scientific facts and I hate for people to spend a lot of time and money on things that won’t work (and there are people who will lie for their own reasons, including the beauty industry trying to make money). I wish that weren’t so (but I spent $20,000 on surgery because it is). But there is still looseness on my lower legs and arms that surgery can’t fix. It is just part of the journey.

I don’t normally do this, but I’m going to attach a before and after picture of my arm surgery (after my 100 lb loss 7 years ago). There is nothing that would’ve fixed that skin but surgery. 🙇🏼‍♀️

On 8/5/2020 at 10:27 AM, joleza said:

You both are exactly right I need to be very diligent in practicing the Portion Control. My real question was why was I even able to ingest that much food without feeling sick it seems like when I took that one bite too many I should have felt something. I realize now I was emotional eating due to a personal issue but my question stands if I can't always make the best choices shouldn't my reduce stomach size stop me in my tracks? I'm feeling much better today thanks

I totally understand. From the very start I was able to eat more food without something stopping me than I felt I should have been able to eat. The nurse practitioner said that was the case for some people. She talked about it being a positive thing that I was able to eat without pain and nausea. So I’m trying to see it that way. 😊

I think it can be frustrating when you see people bemoaning the fact they can’t eat much and happily chatting about their lack of hunger when neither is your experience - it can be a truly scary thing! I wish you all the best 👭

I was 59, 1 month from 60, when I was sleeved 6/18/20. My recovery was really easy except for the pain from a gas, I healed quickly, and have had virtually no nausea in these 8 weeks. I would compare it to a robotic hysterectomy (I would compare it to a robotic hysterectomy (which I also found pretty easy). Wish you the best!

Let me first say that the insurance company doesn’t really tell you very much. I know this because I am a provider who gets paid through insurance and I am a little too familiar with all of it ! For 500 people who have a policy from that insurance company X, 500 different policies will likely exist. That is the case for any insurance company. The insurance company isn’t the one deciding the policy provisions, it is instead the employer who contracts them for certain policies and they makes decisions about what they will offer.

That said, they are more than the typical number of policies written by Blue Cross Blue Shield of Illinois by large corporations like AT$T that seem to have the fast track option (3 mo vs 6 mo). You still have to meet all the requirements of the surgeon and the other requirements of the insurance company, but fast track means that you do three months of nutritional visits instead of six. Good luck!

On 8/12/2020 at 9:18 AM, S@ssen@ch said:

In my experience, worsening GERD with VSG is a bit of a hit or miss.

A friend of mine who encouraged me to have the sleeve had silent reflux with the lap band that turned into early-stage Barrett's esophagus. Her surgeon actually recommended the sleeve for her and she hasn't had issues since. Her Barrett's resolved and she's very happy.

I also had reflux with the lap band. Not so bad as to develop Barrett's, but annoying just the same. My lap band surgeon recommended conversion to the sleeve. I didn't do it when I had my lap band out, mostly because I was afraid. Fast forward about 6 years and I had gained most of my lap band weight. I suffered from occasional nighttime indigestion, but otherwise had little signs of reflux. My doctor and I decided that the sleeve was the best option for me. About a month after the sleeve I started getting heartburn. This was easily remedied with a PPI (Nexium). It was pretty bad in the 1st year and I had some issues with esophagitis. So, I saw a GI doc. Today I will still have occasional nighttime reflux, but I practice a lot of habits to reduce my risk of nighttime reflux. For the most part, my reflux is well-controlled. I have it, but it's not unmanageable. My GI doc and I are considering stretta in the future, but it's been pushed asked until the COVID-19 risk is gone because it's not urgent or anything.

I am in a similar position, but earlier in my journey. I had Gerd before surgery but it’s been much worse after. I was slaved on 6/18/ 2020. They did an upper G.I. last Friday and I will reflect three times within like a minute of her watching. I didn’t realize it was that often, although I have realize there was more acid in my stomach that there needed to be because it creates a sensation of been hungry for me.

The nurse practitioner for the surgeon called me and she said (a) it could get better as I today am just 8 weeks out and not fully healed (per her) and (b) a future fundoplication type procedure might be needed (he does some beaded ring version). I asked about the option of switch to a Bypass instead and she said she would talk to the surgeon about which of those 2 would be the best future option. Notably he does a lot of the fundoplication so maybe will lean that way? She also suggested that they do another scope but with two special procedures with it. OY.

Please keep me updated on your progress, I wish you luck!

I am thankful my surgeon only requires a 30 minutes after a meal - that is hard enough, I can’t imagine trying to do 30 minutes before a meal also. I feel like I would spend the entire day watching my watch!

14 hours ago, 613cnn said:

Hi everyone so great to hear how everyone is doing and Celebrate successes

I’m 8 weeks out today, just shy of 23lbs down since surgery and am back in onederland. I had thought I would have lost more but am ultimately happy with the progress. I had read a few studies saying that by 4 months most folks have lost 1/2 of what they are ultimately going to lose so I’m trying to refocus to have the next 8 weeks just as or more successful.

I was progressed to solid foods today - though I admit I’ve been eating some solids prior to today. I’m always surprised by what I can eat and how much - surprised and freaked out sometimes. chicken breast comes right back up, but tacos? Totally fine. Anything that has a slider attached to it... salsa, soft cheese, sauce, etc... well, slides. I eat about 800-900 cals a day, 80-110g Protein, 70+ oz Water and walk between 3-5 miles a day. I am not one of the lucky who lost all hunger- I get hungry, and 2oz of food 3x a day doesn’t cut it. I usually eat 3-4.

I had a bad week when my family came to visit where I snacked - that sucked. So I need to do more work on my head space.

I think of you being more typical than those with huge losses early statistically speaking as you are more typical than those big losers are. I am 7 weeks out and have lost 28 lb and that is quite on target for my starting weight and BMI. I also had hunger and my surgeon said about 1/2 of patients do (and nooooo I am not talking about head hunger). I also could eat 6 oz from early on and now eat most days 700-800 cal per day - the NUT said that wasn’t bad that I felt so little nausea. That was a very long phase of purée for you and those foods tend to be more caloric and that couldn’t have helped. But calorie wise many of us are the same.

I too was disappointed initially and surprised by all the things you bring up as surprising you. I am not sure it always helps to see all the bragging kind of posts online, unusually large losses may make you feel like you are doing something wrong even if you aren’t. 😊 Good luck on your journey! ♥️

my silly iPad and I posted twice, please ignore 😀

46 minutes ago, WhatATool:-) said:

I’ve just started eating soft solids. Got down a whole 90 calorie string cheese, no problem. So far, I have not felt any nausea, but no fullness either. What’s that about? Everyone seems to have the experience of being stuffed after two bites, but I still haven’t felt that at all. I keep down Protein Shakes and all my other liquids no problem.

Part of me is like “well thats because I follow all the rules! I take small bites, chew very thoroughly, and eat slowly.” The other part is like “yeah, but you should still feel full. It’s because they didn’t actually do the gastric bypass, they just opened you up and forgot to do it.”

Any thoughts?

And yes, I know they did my surgery.

My experience was almost exactly the same (except I have a sleeve). I have had virtually no nausea in almost 7 weeks. And that’s a great thing. But, I also don’t really ever feel satisfaction or actually feel full. At most, the burp/cramp feeling.

From the beginning I felt that I could eat more than others. Talking to my nutritiousness about it she seemed to think that was really kind of positive since a lot of people can’t keep food down and I can. She also said the low calories that most people are eating early on is because they couldn’t eat more (but not because they should not eat more). I have been losing weight at the right rate for my BMI and from what I can tell I am slightly ahead of average despite all of this. But I so understand how it is frustrating to feel as if your situation is 100% different from most others! 🤗

Fyi - I have an upper gi tomorrow (lots of acid) so we will find out if indeed I have a banana sized stomach! 😂 Actually that little suspicion in your head is really common with people after weight loss surgery! We don’t really think it, but...

12 hours ago, WishMeSmaller said:

@Repeatingthoughts and @Groovymommy! So happy to hear about your progress! The little milestones (like baggy clothes) are all going to add up to big milestones. Groovy, if I don’t have a 30 g Protein Shake per day I struggle to get my Protein in. And I hate the taste of whey Protein post-op as it tastes like rotten milk to me. Talked it over with my dietian friend today though, and it really does give the best bang for the space, so I drink it. 🤢 Also, if you haven’t been checking out the food before and after thread, you should. It has really inspired me to get creative with food. I do miss big meals and eating whatever sounded good (I am a major foodie with a bread addiction), but I just ate an amazingly satisfying salad with chicken. I want more because it tastes good, but I have that tell tale pressure at the back of my throat that says no more. If I get that “rock in the chest” feeling, I will be miserable until I puke it up. Yay me 🙄

Let’s just keep on keeping on, bypass buddies!

Yes, it is quiet. To be super honest, I stopped really looking at the posts here since it was from the start this thread was so strongly dominated by a very few people (some with such frequent or long essays that it seemed to be less sharing and support going on and more heavy reading). I was sleeved in June and would likely have shared more here, but felt I should look elsewhere for support during that crucial time 0-30 days out.

I am so glad to hear that you are doing well 😊

8 hours ago, summerset said:

My ignore list seems to have updated on auto pilot this time though.

1 hour ago, catwoman7 said:

mine did as well. YAY!

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 I thought “My, that attitude seems very familiar!” 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

On 7/10/2020 at 2:26 PM, colormehappy said:

I’ll start by saying my nutritional support through my surgeon is somewhat lacking, but I feel ok with my progress and have really dug into research on my own.

I’m almost 6 weeks post op, and took a punishing spinning class this morning. It felt great. (Cleared for it by my surgeon!) Apple Watch isn’t totally reliable, but it says I burned around 600 calories. Now I don’t know how to eat the rest of the day. I’ve only eaten when legitimately hungry this afternoon, still focusing on Protein and veggies. Can anyone else who does heavy exercise advise me on how and if you adjust calories?

I agree with @Sammi_Katt - Last year I had been working out at an aerobic/anaerobic level for 60 minutes and didn’t burn but 300 or so (and I am 5’8” with a good deal of muscle). Our daughter runs 15-20 miles at a time and she would burn at that level, but few other workouts could do that. The most accurate readings are with the chest strap - I use the wahoo TIKR (about $50) that will track with iCardio or other fitness programs. The worse option, however, are the exercise charts (like those in my fitness pal) that seem to seriously overestimate calories burned.

On 6/6/2020 at 10:33 AM, catwoman7 said:

that's pretty low. I was eating that (400 kcal/day) the first two or three weeks post-op. By a month out, I was eating about 600 a day. At three months out, I was eating 600-800 pretty consistently. Of course, I started out at a much higher BMI than you, but still, that seems a bit low.

I have been at 650-800 daily since week 3. The Nutritionist for my surgeon said that was fine and that I was losing at a rate greater than the average (she said at 4 weeks the amount expected is 10-25 lbs, I was at 22 lb and at a 35 bmi which is the lowest BMI to have WLS). She said it was not that they wanted people to eat very few calories, it’s just some people were sick and nauseated so often they could not actually eat more. She said it was positive that I had not been ill and could take in nutrients (since just getting in 64g Protein requires consuming a decent amount of food).

On 7/25/2020 at 4:35 AM, ChubRub said:

Seriously? Stop shaming others for their weight/BMI choices. Better yet, just go away...

Yup. Have you noticed that some people keep changing their screen name because so many people are annoyed by their comments that they may have no choice but to duck behind the newest nickname?!