BigSue

I'm the last person who is qualified to give relationship advice, but hey, it's the internet, so I'm not going to let that stop me from throwing in my 2 cents. It is true that a lot of marriages end after WLS, so I don't blame him for being worried. But marriages don't end as a direct result of WLS; they end as a result of changes to the marriage from the (mostly positive) changes of losing weight and improving health. Sometimes it's because people put up with more than they should because they don't think anyone else will love them, and when they lose weight, they realize they don't need to put up with abuse to be loved. Other times, it's because your interests and priorities may change when you're physically able to do things you couldn't do when you were bigger.
It's not fair for him to put it all on you, though. If I understand correctly, you have tried to get him to go to marriage counseling and he won't do it. If the marriage is so important to him, he needs to put some effort into it, too. It is NOT a selfish decision to do something to improve your health. Unless you are actively planning to lose weight so you can find a better husband, deciding to have WLS does not equal choosing to end your marriage.

I am now 100 pounds down from my highest weight. I lost about 70 pounds before surgery, and I've only lost about 30 pounds since surgery. I can hardly believe I've lost 100 pounds. I've seen other people who have lost 100 pounds and wondered how they did it because it seems impossible. I've gone on a lot of diets in my life and never lost anywhere close to that much.
But even more amazing than the fact that I've lost so much weight is the fact that I have so much more to lose. A lot of people start their journey at my current weight or lower. If I lose half of my highest weight, I will still be obese. I started out the weight of two obese people. Now that I'm 100 pounds down, I'm the weight of two normal people.

I was only in the hospital for one night, so I really didn't need much. Here's what I used:
Comfortable pants (with a loose waistband that won't bother your incisions) and underwear to wear while I walked around the hospital (since the gowns can be skimpy in the back) Phone and charger Tablet (just for something to do -- you can bring books, knitting, or whatever you like to do to pass the time) Hairbrush Deodorant Listerine breath strips (be careful with these -- I got oral thrush after surgery, probably because I used too many of the breath strips and they killed off the good bacteria in my mouth) Water Enhancer (makes it easier to drink water) I just wore the same clothes to go home as I wore to the hospital. I wore Crocs to the hospital so I could wear them when I walked around and so I could wear them home without having to deal with putting on socks.

I have a feeling that a lot of fat people have relationships in which we give and give while others take advantage. I know I have experienced that a lot in my life, and I think it is because I have been made to feel defective, less worthy than others, because of my weight, and that I somehow need to make up for that in other ways. I foolishly think that people will like me in spite of my weight if I constantly bend over backward for them, only to eventually realize that they only like taking from me and they don't actually like me as a person.
In defense of the friends you lost because they didn't want to hear about your weight loss, eating, or going to the gym, I kind of understand, especially as a larger person, because that kind of discussion often leads to body shaming, so it makes me uncomfortable when those conversations happen around me. I feel that these topics are very personal and not things I want to discuss in certain settings (especially work). Since I don't like to discuss these things, I would start to feel like I don't have much in common with someone who talks about these subjects all the time. That doesn't mean it's about you, personally, and I hope you can forgive those who want to avoid those subjects that can be emotionally fraught or just not things that are important in their lives.

I started with a BMI over 60, and nobody even brought up DS as an option for me. To be honest, I thought DS was an outdated surgery that's not really being done anymore because of all the risks. I didn't realize it's still popular for high-BMI patients. The surgeon who did my RNY doesn't do DS. He recommended RNY to me rather than sleeve because of my high BMI, since RNY patients statistically lose a bit more than sleeve patients.
My understanding is that the sleeve is basically the first step in DS, and that's how the procedure was developed -- surgeons would do the DS in two separate surgeries for high-risk patients, and a lot of them didn't even need the second surgery because they lost enough weight with the sleeve alone. So, that is one option: get the sleeve first and have it revised to DS if necessary. You could also have a sleeve revised to RNY. I remember seeing a bariatric surgeon on YouTube say that he recommends the sleeve to all patients because you can always get it revised, but to me, that's crazy because I don't want to have more than one surgery!

Caltrate is Calcium carbonate, and as a gastric bypass patient, you need calcium citrate, so you should get some calcium citrate and stop taking Caltrate ASAP. (FYI, most of the common calcium supplements that you can buy at the drug store are calcium carbonate, so you'll need to check the label when you buy calcium supplements.)
I use BariatricPal French vanilla Caramel soft chews. They are delicious -- they taste like candy. I have an order on the way with the strawberry flavor, and I hope it's just as good. The BariatricPal Store has lots of soft chew calcium citrate supplements in a variety of flavors. I can't vouch for anything but the French Vanilla, but they all have good reviews, so I bet you can find a flavor you like.

Interesting... I'm 8 weeks out and I averaged about 400 calories per day in weeks 3-6. At my 6-week appointment with the dietitian, she said I should be aiming for 800-1000 calories per day now, which seems like a lot. I'm finding that's not even possible with the guidelines I was given (3 meals per day, no more than 4 ounces of food per meal, avoid Snacks except Protein Shakes, 60-80 grams Protein, <60 grams carbs). I've averaged 470 calories per day for the past two weeks -- about half of what I was told.
I'm starting to think I should ignore what she said and stick with what I'm eating now. I'm fine at my current level of calories, not hungry, and have plenty of energy, so why the heck should I eat more? Shouldn't I take advantage of this time when I have no desire to eat more than 500 calories per day and lose as much weight as possible? I've tried to follow my program's instructions so far, but this seems pretty far from the norm and I'm afraid it will hinder my weight loss.

your primary care physician can order it.
in my case, my insurance doesn't cover them unless you're 60+ years old - but maybe they would have if I'd have explained it was for a baseline due to an upcoming bariatric surgery. However, I found out through doing one of those scans they often do at sports labs (at universities) and commercial places - I went there to see what my fat percentage was when I was trying to decide whether to go into maintenance or lose another 10-20 lbs. You can get those at any age since you pay for it (although I think I was able to charge it to my flexible spending account, now that I think of it...). I was 58 years old at the time, but there's no age requirement. The scan gave me that info (fat percentage), but it also gave me my bone density. The technician couldn't tell me I had osteoporosis because they're not supposed to diagnose things, but she did say my bone density looked a "bit below average" and I that I might want to mention it to my PCP. Well, I sent the scan over to my PCP, and she saw right away that I had osteoporosis and got me into treatment (at that point, my insurance would have covered a scan even though I was under 60, because I'd be diagnosed with it. I've since had a couple of other scans that my PCP ordered).
your insurance may not have that age requirement, though. Or even if they do, if you're doing it to get a baseline for bariatric surgery, they might cover it regardless. Just talk to your PCP.

Here (in Ontario) we can get diagnostic tests performed and covered by provincial health insurance if your PCP orders one. Mine ordered one...his suggestion, not mine. But even if he didn’t, I probably would have asked him to anyway.
So first step, I think would be to go see your PCP and discuss.

8 1/2 months after surgery and 14 months after starting my weight loss journey, I am officially in One-derland!!! As of this morning I am down from a starting weight of 333.6 to 199.3.
😎🤸‍♀️🌈

I was told to avoid Pasta, bread, and tortillas for at least the first year because they can form a lump of food in the stomach that is painful to digest. I don't know if that's true or just a scare tactic to keep us away from "bad" foods, but I think someone like you who is already having problems with liquids and purees should definitely be cautious and avoid these foods.
How about eating the lasagna without the noodles? You can probably pull the noodles out. Ricotta bake is basically lasagna filling, so you can try that. I added some turkey meat sauce to it once I started eating meat, which makes it meat lasagna sans noodles (but I would suggest starting without meat). If your goal is just to get carbs, maybe try diluted apple juice; this is what I was told to do in the liquid stage. Ensure High Protein Shakes also have relatively high carbs, and that's what they gave me in the hospital. You could also try unsweetened applesauce.

I was told to avoid Pasta, bread, and tortillas for at least the first year because they can form a lump of food in the stomach that is painful to digest. I don't know if that's true or just a scare tactic to keep us away from "bad" foods, but I think someone like you who is already having problems with liquids and purees should definitely be cautious and avoid these foods.
How about eating the lasagna without the noodles? You can probably pull the noodles out. Ricotta bake is basically lasagna filling, so you can try that. I added some turkey meat sauce to it once I started eating meat, which makes it meat lasagna sans noodles (but I would suggest starting without meat). If your goal is just to get carbs, maybe try diluted apple juice; this is what I was told to do in the liquid stage. Ensure High Protein Shakes also have relatively high carbs, and that's what they gave me in the hospital. You could also try unsweetened applesauce.

Weird -- it was kind of the opposite for me. I used to hate drinking unflavored Water ("Life's too short to drink plain water," I used to say), but now I don't mind it, and sometimes I even prefer plain water. I do still like flavored water, too, but I drink a lot more plain water than I used to. Maybe you could try calorie-free water enhancers (Mio, Crystal Light, etc.). There are many flavors available, so you should be able to find one you like.

I'm glad it worked out for you! I'm plenty fat for my insurance to cover the surgery, but I still paid $4500 out of pocket, and I spent a lot of time going to all the various pre-op appointments. On the upside, all my followups, labs, and prescriptions are free for the rest of the year (since I met my out of pocket maximum).
I'm not sure if you need to go to a bariatric surgeon for followups, but I would guess that a local surgeon would accept you as a patient. Even people who don't go out of the country for surgery move and have to change doctors. I know my surgeon takes patients who have had surgery with other programs. It wouldn't hurt to ask.

I can't answer your question because I've never seen that product, but have you tried cauliflower rice? I hate cauliflower, but somehow, cauliflower rice is not bad! I wouldn't eat it by itself, but with sauce and mix-ins (like meat and vegetables), I can almost convince myself that it's actual rice. It's very low in calories and carbs, and you get the added benefit of eating more veggies.

I had to get a UGI x-ray (a.k.a. barium swallow test) before my surgery, and it wasn't bad. The hospital where I went wasn't fancy enough to have a machine that lifts you in the air. I just had to lie on a table and tilt my body in various positions. There was also a portion where I just had to stand in front of the x-ray machine. I had to drink sips of the barium liquid while they took the x-rays. It didn't taste good, but it wasn't horrible. It was pretty quick and painless. Once they started, I think it only took about 15 minutes. I didn't even have to take off my clothes. Yours might take longer since you might have a GI problem (mine was just to make sure I didn't have a GI problem before I got surgery), but the upside is that if they find the problem, they can fix it and you'll feel better.

Yeah, this forum is really helpful for preparing. I do not like surprises, so I wanted to make sure I knew what I was getting into -- the good, the bad, and the ugly -- before I committed to surgery. I also watched a ton of YouTube videos and found those helpful as well. Some of the ones I watched are Kimberly H, Minnie Me in TN, My Level 10 Life, Clusie L, Timetodeflate, and Foodie Turned Sleevie. There are many more (which you'll see on your recommended videos once you start watching WLS channels), but a lot of people just have a couple of videos about WLS.
Like so many things in life, WLS is a tradeoff. You have to make big sacrifices, but there can be big rewards. It was important to me to understand going into it what I would be sacrificing and what benefits I would get. It was daunting to think of what I would have to give up for WLS, but when I looked at what I hoped to get out it -- to get my health back, get my mobility back, and so many other things that I have missed out on in my life because of my weight -- it was a lot easier to accept those sacrifices.

Welcome to the post-op side! Hang in there... My first few days after surgery were miserable (including intense regret when I first woke up), but I'm 7 weeks out and it all seems like a distant memory now.

Yeah, this forum is really helpful for preparing. I do not like surprises, so I wanted to make sure I knew what I was getting into -- the good, the bad, and the ugly -- before I committed to surgery. I also watched a ton of YouTube videos and found those helpful as well. Some of the ones I watched are Kimberly H, Minnie Me in TN, My Level 10 Life, Clusie L, Timetodeflate, and Foodie Turned Sleevie. There are many more (which you'll see on your recommended videos once you start watching WLS channels), but a lot of people just have a couple of videos about WLS.
Like so many things in life, WLS is a tradeoff. You have to make big sacrifices, but there can be big rewards. It was important to me to understand going into it what I would be sacrificing and what benefits I would get. It was daunting to think of what I would have to give up for WLS, but when I looked at what I hoped to get out it -- to get my health back, get my mobility back, and so many other things that I have missed out on in my life because of my weight -- it was a lot easier to accept those sacrifices.

A lot of people experience nausea from Iron supplements, especially if taking them on an empty stomach. It might help to take it with food. Also, there are different forms of iron. I just checked the ProCare Multivitamin and it contains ferrous fumarate. Carbonyl iron and chelated iron tend to be easier on the stomach.

Click on your username on the top right of the screen, then click “My Surgery” under settings. Then click “Progress” on the left sidebar, and that’s where you can edit your weight.

@regina r, what I said above only works on the BariatricPal website. It looks like you’re using the app. From the app, you can update your stats by clicking “Profile” on the bottom right and then selecting “Patient Information.”

Hang in there! The first few days are miserable, but it gets dramatically easier after the first week or two (especially once you get to purees and can start eating things resembling real food). I think the protein and fluid goals are unrealistic for the first week -- everybody has trouble meeting them in the beginning. Have you tried protein Soups or hot chocolate? I found that warm liquids went down easier than cold.

On a related note: I won't miss being unable to see the clock in my car because I have to raise the steering wheel so high (to make room for my belly) that it blocks my view. I still have a long way to go before I'm not fat (not sure if I'll ever get to that point), but I can now put the steering wheel at a height that doesn't block the clock!

I had RNY 4 years ago and have tried a variety of supplements since. At one point I was diagnosed with very low Iron and Dr. just suggested taking iron tables.
I recently found attached from Kaiser which I thought was well laid out and, as current supplements were running low, decided to follow this plan.
So far, so good.


Bariatric Supplements - Kaiser.pdf