breavsg

Alright so I had my VSG in January and attended my first large function since the surgery last night. I did get compliments on my appearance but also received some "you look sick/anorexic/too thin" comments from family (it was a cousins wedding). I am content with my weight right now, although I am currently trying to up my Protein and build more muscle, but overall I feel fantastic. I plan on having one more child in the near future so I know I will put weight on during that process, so I kinda want to tell people to just back off but I'm a very timid person, so my question for everyone is, how do you deal with comments like this? I honestly wasn't really sure how to respond and felt kinda upset but I see where they are coming from, especially since they haven't seen me in a while. Anyhow, sorry for the long post, any tips are greatly appreciated!
Sent from my Alcatel_5008R using BariatricPal mobile app

Lol!!! Yes! That's exactly where my negative comments are coming from! I love my mom dearly but she can also sometimes be a bit of an a hole as well [emoji23] good to know I'm not alone, thank you [emoji3590]

Sent from my Alcatel_5008R using BariatricPal mobile app

Lol!!! Yes! That's exactly where my negative comments are coming from! I love my mom dearly but she can also sometimes be a bit of an a hole as well [emoji23] good to know I'm not alone, thank you [emoji3590]

Sent from my Alcatel_5008R using BariatricPal mobile app

I'm so sorry this has happened to you!
I think it's time to find some new friends! I know it's hard to socialize during Covid, but do you have any hobbies or interests that would lend to joining a club? Gardening, hiking, skiing, cycling, golf, etc? If you could find some friends with non-food involved hobbies, then you would eliminate some of the problems. Likewise with dating, instead of going out to eat or to a bar, how about going hiking, skiing or playing mini golf. Just trying to think of a few ideas!

So, I feel funny writing about this, but...has anyone else ever experienced a negative change in their social life post-op?
I had my surgery back in January. Although my physical health has made drastic improvements, I'm afraid my mental health has taken a toll.
I noticed people have been treating me very differently since having the surgery. I've been getting so many rude comments, I can't keep up. They think I "took the easy way out (not realizing it was actually quite the opposite: the last resort)," and/or are freaked out by all my new eating habits and restrictions or are saying cruel things like "oh, you'll just gain it back like so-and-so did anyway, you watch." A lot of them have also proceeded to claim my changed appearance "weirds them out." Some of my now ex-friends have even gone so far to complain that I "betrayed the body positivity movement by giving into society's expectations of what women should look like." What the actual heck? Even dating, something I thought would get better as I lost weight, is just as bad as it was before. Since I can't drink alcohol anymore or eat a lot of foods, guys have been pretty hostile. Although I've been private about my surgery while dating (simply stating I have a strict diet I need to follow), that hasn't stopped guys from being mean or rude.
Bottom line here is I've lost a lot of friends this past year and my love life is no better than it was. I'm extremely lonely and depressed.
Has anyone else ever encountered this? What can I do to change it? Why is there so much social stigma towards this surgery?

God rest her soul, but my mother did exactly same, Chubrub. For as long as I can remember, too thin, too fat, bridge of nose too thick, “you have teeth from your paternal grandmother”, and high waisted, too🤣 ya di ya da (wait, maybe we had same mother?) What the heck???🙄 Fortunately, we survived and dealt with it. Unbelievable!! Congrats on becoming a strong, independent woman to dismiss it💃💖🌟!
Breavsg, moral of the story is dismiss it all and trust these moments or glitches in human behavior do make us stronger!😊

My mom doesn't know about my WLS, but every time I see her she says "I hope you don't want to lose anymore." She's been saying this for the last 20lbs. LOL! She's a bit of an a$$hole sometimes! LOL! She's been commenting on my weight (too thin, too fat, etc) and my body type ("You are soooo high waisted" "Your boobs are soooo big") my entire life. I basically say "BYE" and leave when she starts up with her nonsense.
I haven't really seen many people b/c of Covid, so fingers crossed that everyone is kind!

Made some preop progress this week.
Psych
Cardio
Radiologist
Labs
Nutrition Class
and sleep study being delivered Monday.

I think after I complete the sleep study, all I will lack is a scope. Sound about right?

Hoping for early November

How about something like, “Well, my doctor just gave me a clean bill of health, so no need to worry!”

You may dump from the sugar hit, just vomit, have diarrhoea or you may not have any side effects or any you are aware of. But is it worth it? There is a reason for the restrictive diet & staged return to eating. You’re healing. There’s swelling, nerves have been cut, you’re generally more sensitive to foods, etc. You may not even enjoy it as your taste buds change after surgery. These first months after surgery are a perfect time to reflect on your eating & change your eating habits (what you eat, how much you eat, when you eat & why you eat).
This won’t be the only time you’ll be challenged by a food choice on this journey just the first. Ultimately, it is your choice.

Awesome that is a fantastic response, I may have to use it!! Thank you so much

Sent from my Alcatel_5008R using BariatricPal mobile app

Yes, that's the biggest issue is people thinking I'm dying of something (I am a pretty pale person too so that probably doesn't help). That is very good to know thank you so very much. I may have been being a bit sensitive as well due to it being *that time of month* lol. I appreciate your reply!

Sent from my Alcatel_5008R using BariatricPal mobile app

just don't think of people saying something of you around, it's useless

I did look drawn & pasty when I was losing weight (worst were the ones from people thinking I had a mortal disease) but my colour & face shape improved greatly when I settled into maintenance.
Depending on what they said I usually responded with something about feeling so well now I’m in the healthy weight range & thanked them for noticing my hard work. Yep, at times I was a bit b*tchy but only when their comments were really upsetting & intrusive.
I still get comments about looking sick from ‘well meaning’ family friends. Unfortunately, I have glaucoma & the drops give you dark bruising shadows around your eyes. (concealer doesn’t really cover it). So I have a legitimate reason to give them in response but it’s still annoying because they tie it to the weight loss.

Most people never said I looked like I lost too much except for one person. Most would say things like “you must be close to your goal by now” and I’d respond “yes, pretty close.” The for the one person that continually told me I was losing too much I finally heard enough and said to her, “look, you never bothered to tell me I was gaining too much weight so your opinion doesn’t really matter to me and I’d appreciate it if you quit commenting on my weight because I’m beginning to feel harassed.”That shut her up. Now days people usually just say something about what a great job I’ve done or how I inspired them to stick to a diet. When people ask how much I’ve lost I always just say, “a lot” or “more than I weigh now!”

My first year I *did* look sick, nothing like I looked before. A manager in another city did the same operation 8 months ahead of me without my knowing and he looked sick.
While we may be feeling better, our bodies are going through tremendous stresses and may make us look sick compared to our well fed former selves. Seeing us 6-12 months ago and now can be quite a shock.
I took it as concern, not judgement. I would just say I was feeling good and move on. Others would say I was looking good, to which I would just say I was feeling good and move on.
Not every honest perception that is not favorable is 'judgement.'
Of course, y'all know who you hang with and how their minds work.
Good luck,
Tek

Thank you, it definitely does, I just want to tell people to wait a while longer then judge me lol I'm still going through the whole process

Sent from my Alcatel_5008R using BariatricPal mobile app

yea I get it. My mother told me I looked like my father did during the weeks before he died. BUT....fat sort of redistributes a bit after awhile which should help with that. My face didn't look nearly as hollowed out a few months later.

I weighed in at 321 on my surgery day and today I weighed in at 221. So I'm officially down 100 pounds since surgery and have just 41 more left to lose! 😊

How do you plan on getting enough Protein if you cut the meats?

Update I’ve lost 74 pounds since January surgery I’m happy now but my goal another 20 lbs so I need suggestions or tips from anyone on how to get through a stall. I’m cutting meats out my diet completely started Oct 1st see if this will help also..

Yes! Soups have been helpful.

Have you tried some kind strained of cream Soup? That really seemed to help keep me satisfied. Good luck!!

Sent from my Alcatel_5008R using BariatricPal mobile app

Awesome! Congrats

Major milestone breakthrough. Weighed 280 on surgery date 20 January. Just busted through 200 pounds. Now 199.2, down over 80 pounds or almost 30% of total body weight.