pugmom234

ScoutCR. Good to know! I keep seeing these and I was curious as to how well they worked. Thanks!

ScoutCR. Good to know! I keep seeing these and I was curious as to how well they worked. Thanks!

This trend is so inspiring! I can't wait to have these moments!!!

Congrats!! You’re an inspiration

CrankyMagpie, this is it exactly. It is my mom, to be completely honest, and I feel the same way as you are explaining. Every diet I have tried, she has tried to sabotage. When I say no, she keeps pressuring. Then when I keep saying no, I am "no fun".
Thank you to everyone who responded. I was just in a place of frustration of what do I do.

I agree 100% with you. I have a gut feeling as to why they don’t approve. I honestly feel as if they don’t want me to be healthier. They have done this to me before. They want me, for whatever reason, to be completely unhappy in every way. I am at the point where it is my body, my choice, my life, and my happiness. It’s just hard when you are close to someone who doesn’t approve.

I know that having a support system is really important on this journey. I do have a lot of people who do support me. My question is how do you deal with those who are close to you not supporting this journey? A close relative does not think that getting sleeved is a good idea. I have started this process before, and they made it very clear that the don't think it is a good idea. I just recently started my journey again (I like to think of it as I got a bit lost, now I am on track again), and I have not told this family member about it yet. So, in short, how do you deal with those who are not supportive?

I don't have to tell them, I guess. I am holding off as long as possible this time around.
This sentence is going to stick with me. It struck a cord with me. Thanks you! It is 100% true.

Following your journey!

I don't have to tell them, I guess. I am holding off as long as possible this time around.
This sentence is going to stick with me. It struck a cord with me. Thanks you! It is 100% true.

I agree 100% with you. I have a gut feeling as to why they don’t approve. I honestly feel as if they don’t want me to be healthier. They have done this to me before. They want me, for whatever reason, to be completely unhappy in every way. I am at the point where it is my body, my choice, my life, and my happiness. It’s just hard when you are close to someone who doesn’t approve.

I know that having a support system is really important on this journey. I do have a lot of people who do support me. My question is how do you deal with those who are close to you not supporting this journey? A close relative does not think that getting sleeved is a good idea. I have started this process before, and they made it very clear that the don't think it is a good idea. I just recently started my journey again (I like to think of it as I got a bit lost, now I am on track again), and I have not told this family member about it yet. So, in short, how do you deal with those who are not supportive?

I don't have to tell them, I guess. I am holding off as long as possible this time around.
This sentence is going to stick with me. It struck a cord with me. Thanks you! It is 100% true.

I agree 100% with you. I have a gut feeling as to why they don’t approve. I honestly feel as if they don’t want me to be healthier. They have done this to me before. They want me, for whatever reason, to be completely unhappy in every way. I am at the point where it is my body, my choice, my life, and my happiness. It’s just hard when you are close to someone who doesn’t approve.

Following your journey!

🙏 for you!! Congrats on your new beginning!!

Trying to kick coffee, so this thread is helpful. Thanks!!! I just stocked up

Trying to kick coffee, so this thread is helpful. Thanks!!! I just stocked up

I agree with this. It is still up in the air as to how my insurance will approve the surgery (My company keeps changing requirements,). But if there is an issue, or potential issue, check me out! I want to know before hand. It seems like this can be a long process (sounds like I am in the same stage as you guys), but in the end I want to be armed with as much as I can to help me be as successful as can be.

Yep, Pugmom! Even if I did not have hypertension, I would still feel the exact same way, as I just prefer the thorough approach. So, we definitely agree. Whatever hoop they place in front of me I am going to graciously and thankfully accept. I guess too, I look at it like it's not just me. My husband and children are on this journey with me, and so I am perhaps driven a bit by that too. Nevertheless, congrats on your steps forward. Let's be sure to keep the updates going!

I had this conversation with my surgeon. He brought it up actually. He said most of his patients say they are having a hernia repair or other surgery. It’s not anyone’s business. I agree with him. I’m trying to figure out what to tell my boss at this point, too. I don’t think she needs to know specifics, especially because the gossip mill will start! Good luck!!

I do not care for my surgeon as a person, but as a surgeon I know he's well-qualified. Obviously, it would be great to have a surgeon that didn't talk and behave like an ass, but if you're willing to overlook his bedside shortcomings in exchange for a competent surgeon, then feel confident that you made a good decision.
Do I find your surgeon's comments inappropriate and sexist? Absolutely. Would I have wished that I had the perfect comeback when he made his disparaging remarks about women who want to build healthy muscle? Absolutely. My guess is that you're mainly peeved because he got away with saying what he said, and you weren't able (out of sheer disbelief perhaps) to challenge his asshattery. Instead of being able to express yourself fully with him, your only outlet (and a less satisfying outlet) is to vent here.
I doubt if I'm alone as a woman in feeling hesitant to speak up for myself. As a survivor of childhood sexual abuse, I often "flew away". It took years of therapy before I could rid myself of that shame.
In some ways, I was conditioned, as are many women, to be shrinking violets. There's also the issue of status involved in your case. We've been taught to respect certain professionals, doctors included. So, here you are confronted by a male doctor who completely caught you off-guard by basically equating unattractiveness with muscles. Heck, we're already fat and feeling bad about that, now to be told that to build muscle is unfeminine. Wow. Imagine paying an insurance co-pay to hear all this crap.
It's important for you to be a strong self-advocate. You are taking a life-changing step with weight-loss surgery, so why stop there? For your own self-respect, I'd politely but firmly revisit this conversation by letting him know that you were offended by his views on women who lift weights and press him about whether there is a medical reason for you to not lift weights or if this was just his subjective view.
If you read my profile statement, you'll discover that I had a negative hospital experience with my doctor. Yes, I vented like crazy here and elsewhere, but as soon as I saw my surgeon at my first follow-up appointment walking down the hall (I was actually supposed to see a nurse practitioner for this visit), I approached him with confidence, touched his arm, and said, "Dr. S---, I am not very happy with you. In fact, I'm very disappointed." He was so taken off-guard by my bluntness that he escorted me into the exam room and spent 45 minutes worth of damage control on me. You can imagine the bewilderment of the nurse when she walked in and he was with me. She probably thought she was the one in trouble. The point is, I took back some of the dignity that I felt had been taken from me previously.
Yes, it was "just" a statement about muscles, but where do you draw the line? You wouldn't be here venting if it didn't bother the becheezits out of you.
Believe me, you'll feel better about yourself for at least trying to stand up for yourself. It might not go over well, maybe you feel clumsy getting out your words, but it's better than saying nothing. Practice self-advocacy until it becomes second nature. The older I get, the easier it's becoming. When you don't speak up for yourself, you are essentially giving the other person the power and permission to put you down.

I wanted to know how long of a recovery time I should expect. I like how long until I am back to “normal” activities.

Pre-op testing. I have started this process before and the requirements are different.

My surgeon has a PA, I was curious if I could see just him or if I had to see both.

There is a ton I kept thinking of lol

I had a doctor that I was seeing for the first time walk in to the room, not even say hello or introduce himself, and say "you need the surgery. You really need to get the surgery." Needless to say, I haven't gone back to him. I was 18 at the time. Now, at 28, I think my current doctor does touch on the subject, just very gently and respectful

Or maybe No S*** Sherlock!

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