OH! mynmann i know what you mean... i have always been over weight and i swore that if i got this position as a receptionist i would look good every day. it worked for like a month and then i put on some more weight and my cloths started fitting tighter, clothes that i had just gotten about 2 months before. i even went and had my hair cut off to half the length and colored (it felt great!) and then i went right back. i really feel like what is the point. my boyfriend of two years has never seen all of me naked at once with the lights on....i just cant handle it i feel like he will say, "oh, sh*......really.....turn the light back off.." and i know he wouldn't ever, but its still there. he and i do not live together...and i have now gotten so bad that even if i have nothing to do and he has the day off i still will not go see him because i don't feel like its worth it to put the make up on or fix my hair... and i feel like i have to with him cause he acts funny if i dont.....maybe its just in my head but either way its bad.....so i get you i really do and I'm sacred poopless to have surgery but i think i might just so i can be naked in the light and not, not feel comfortable but do it and not even think about it because i have that self worth inside.... you know what i mean?