Creekimp13

"moist" is a commonly hated word. In fact, there's a Facebook group for haters of that word.

I think it is great that you came up with an alternative "reward"/routine for completing food shopping. I can relate to using food to reward or treat myself for completing a task. I used to start my work week with what I called "McGriddle Mondays" (surprised McD hasn't used that yet😉) to get ready to face the week ahead. For me, I also think some of my overeating has been due to periods of restriction/dieting and then needing to have a break from the restrictions (yo-yoing). Some of it is habit, such as 3:00 chocolate fixes, and having to end the day with a dessert. There may still be more "whys" for me other than rewards, rebelling restrictions & habits, so thank you for bringing this up, as I think you are right. We need to be aware of our why or triggers, because those can manifest in the future if we are unaware or don't find ways to manage or resolve them.

this sounds really weird, but I always strove to be a super healthy eater, so I'd eat all this food to make sure I got all of my nutrients for the day. For example, my usual Breakfast pre-surgery was a smoothie. I would throw in a bunch (and I mean a BUNCH) of soft tofu or Greek yogurt, a banana, two or three peaches or an equal amount of melon or cantaloupe, several berries, some nonfat dry milk, and then enough orange juice to get it going in the blender. So that was like 600 kcal before I even walked out the door. Mid-morning I'd usually head downstairs to the coffee shop (I worked in a library) to get a coffee and an oat scone. Oats are good for you. So there's another 500 (or more) calories. Lunches were always leftovers. I can't remember if I usually had afternoon Snacks or not (it's been six years since surgery), but if I did, it probably would have been a packet (or two) of cashews from the vending machine. Nuts have lots of nutrients, you know. Then I'd come home and snack while I was making dinner. Dinners were often some sort of ethnic fare - Chinese or Thai or Indian - so chicken (usually) plus heaps of vegetables in some creamy sauce (that is, if Thai or Indian) served over about a cup of brown rice. So yea - healthy - at least nutrient-wise - but probably 3000 or so calories a day, give or take.
I still worry about not getting all my nutrients every day. Like - always. But then I remember that I DO take Vitamins, so I'm getting some that way - and over the course of several days, I probably DO get all my nutrients - just not all in one day. But I still find myself thinking about this - and thinking that I should go eat some nuts or something because they're nutritious.

Fat is the last safe prejudice...people are stupid casual about insensitive fat remarks. And yep, as thinner people now...we get an earful of that from people who would have filtered around us when we were heavier. It's messed up and sad. I've heard some awful remarks about fat people from people I would have otherwise said were typically very kind. It's shocking and disheartening.
The problem with how unkindly this was said...is that it's probably a truthful observation clinically. Cross over or transfer addiction is very real.
Most bariatric clinics don't meaningfully address this component of obesity. They don't provide enough support to address the core issues of how folks ended up obese to begin with. They want to cure the symptom (the obese body) without understanding the whole illness.
In my opinion, that's a huge mistake.

I think it's important to talk about what we're eating. We do a lot of that. In minutia. We lable foods good and evil. We obsess about the "right" diet, calories, choices, etc....
But that's really the easy part.
The hard part is figuring out WHY we're eating. WHY we ate ourselves to morbid obesity, and what need we were trying to address when we put that food in our bodies.
I feel like if those needs aren't figured out and meaningfully delt with this whole process is really vulnerable to failure.
I feel like we never talk about why we ate so much.
I'm not saying we need pity party hour with extensive confessionals chronicallying every challenge, insecurity and poopy life event...lol.
But I feel like sharing those little eureka moments were we've identified some little unmet need that resulted in bad choices....would be a good thing.
For instance.... I used to get the KFC six million calorie dinner with the 12 pieces of chicken, 3 sides, biscuits and the chocolate chip cake....after grocery shopping. It was almost an unwritten thing. I deserved it. In some weird justification, I figured that I was shopping, carrying stuff in, putting things away, selflessly giving up time to a task I sort of despised for my family. Of course I deserved chicken!
But really, what I wanted at the core of things....was support. I wanted to feel appreciated, and rewarded for being a good doobie. I wanted to feel nurtured after a stressful task that I hated.
These days....we have a new rule at the house. The person who does the grocery shopping gets to relax and take a bath while the other person does the cooking. And you know what? It works. I feel appreciated, supported. And I eat a more balanced decent dinner and have a win. That feels good. I learned that I geninely don't like asking for help...and that I need to more often. Just writing that makes me cringe.
My bariatric therapist did a lot of talking about the "whys" of over eating, and finding ways to get the desired needs met that aren't self sabotaging.
I wish we talked about the "whys" more.

If you meet your protien goal, you will protect your heart. If you go to your appointments, do your tests, do your best to follow instructions, and take your Vitamins as directed.... you will likely be a lot healthier than you've been in years.
There is nothing more strongly linked with early death, cancer, stroke, heart disease and diabetes.....than significant obesity.
Also...some doctors don't do a "starvation diet" (which I personally agree could be metabolically terrible and probably unwise). My doctor wanted us eating 1200 calories per day as soon as possible. I did at three weeks. (6 little 200 calorie meals)
I think where most of the people who have issues run into problems...is when they don't follow up. They have an unexpected gain or feel unhappy with results and don't continue to get their labs checked or do their follow up appointments. Yes, a few problems can arise as a result of these surgeries....most are very treatable.
Always weigh benefits vs risk. And also consider the risk involved in doing nothing.

I refer to my new stomach as my banana. Sleeve sounds too much like foreskin or something. Pouch just makes the bypass people sound like kangaroos. Kangaroos are cute.

If you meet your protien goal, you will protect your heart. If you go to your appointments, do your tests, do your best to follow instructions, and take your Vitamins as directed.... you will likely be a lot healthier than you've been in years.
There is nothing more strongly linked with early death, cancer, stroke, heart disease and diabetes.....than significant obesity.
Also...some doctors don't do a "starvation diet" (which I personally agree could be metabolically terrible and probably unwise). My doctor wanted us eating 1200 calories per day as soon as possible. I did at three weeks. (6 little 200 calorie meals)
I think where most of the people who have issues run into problems...is when they don't follow up. They have an unexpected gain or feel unhappy with results and don't continue to get their labs checked or do their follow up appointments. Yes, a few problems can arise as a result of these surgeries....most are very treatable.
Always weigh benefits vs risk. And also consider the risk involved in doing nothing.

I think it's important to talk about what we're eating. We do a lot of that. In minutia. We lable foods good and evil. We obsess about the "right" diet, calories, choices, etc....
But that's really the easy part.
The hard part is figuring out WHY we're eating. WHY we ate ourselves to morbid obesity, and what need we were trying to address when we put that food in our bodies.
I feel like if those needs aren't figured out and meaningfully delt with this whole process is really vulnerable to failure.
I feel like we never talk about why we ate so much.
I'm not saying we need pity party hour with extensive confessionals chronicallying every challenge, insecurity and poopy life event...lol.
But I feel like sharing those little eureka moments were we've identified some little unmet need that resulted in bad choices....would be a good thing.
For instance.... I used to get the KFC six million calorie dinner with the 12 pieces of chicken, 3 sides, biscuits and the chocolate chip cake....after grocery shopping. It was almost an unwritten thing. I deserved it. In some weird justification, I figured that I was shopping, carrying stuff in, putting things away, selflessly giving up time to a task I sort of despised for my family. Of course I deserved chicken!
But really, what I wanted at the core of things....was support. I wanted to feel appreciated, and rewarded for being a good doobie. I wanted to feel nurtured after a stressful task that I hated.
These days....we have a new rule at the house. The person who does the grocery shopping gets to relax and take a bath while the other person does the cooking. And you know what? It works. I feel appreciated, supported. And I eat a more balanced decent dinner and have a win. That feels good. I learned that I geninely don't like asking for help...and that I need to more often. Just writing that makes me cringe.
My bariatric therapist did a lot of talking about the "whys" of over eating, and finding ways to get the desired needs met that aren't self sabotaging.
I wish we talked about the "whys" more.

Fat is the last safe prejudice...people are stupid casual about insensitive fat remarks. And yep, as thinner people now...we get an earful of that from people who would have filtered around us when we were heavier. It's messed up and sad. I've heard some awful remarks about fat people from people I would have otherwise said were typically very kind. It's shocking and disheartening.
The problem with how unkindly this was said...is that it's probably a truthful observation clinically. Cross over or transfer addiction is very real.
Most bariatric clinics don't meaningfully address this component of obesity. They don't provide enough support to address the core issues of how folks ended up obese to begin with. They want to cure the symptom (the obese body) without understanding the whole illness.
In my opinion, that's a huge mistake.

I think one of the reasons I really felt I had to take control of fast food....were the conversations I had with my therapist about how I used fast food in the past. It was a huge reward/comfort/coping mechanism (read binge trigger...disordered eating symptom).
If I was having a challenging morning, I'd promise myself to make it easier with a Mc Big Breakfast on the way to whatever difficult day awaited me. 766 calories of what felt like self nurturing, but was really self sabotage.....particularly when paired with the rest of the day's stress eating.
If I had that day when I had a million errands and the dreaded task of buying groceries.....I rewarded myself, justifying that after carrying in groceries and putting everything away, woe is me Cinderella....I DESERVED to have the monster bucket of KFC with all the sides for dinner....because it was self nurturing to let someone else make dinner. (self nurturing turned into 850 calories of chicken meal, plus ice cream...oye)
Anytime I had to do something unpleasant...I'd build in the silver lining. A doctor's appointment isn't so bad if you get fries and a fancy coffee afterward. Even after seeing the veterinarian, I had to stop to get the dog a plain burger as a reward for being good....and of course, something for me for undertaking such a task.
You can justify fast food with hospitality and generosity. Oh, I knew Suzy hadn't eaten, so I stopped for her. If you're being considerate to others it's a perfect excuse to reward (sabotage) yourself. Hey, I'm being a good doobie, good for me, I deserve fries, too.
Sometimes the fast food was an enhancement to happy times. How many times have I celebrated a little good news with fast food or a donut? Take the kids to the zoo, everyone's tired, let's get a burger and make it an extra fun afternoon. And of course you get fast food nonstop while traveling or on vacation to bring a little of home with you. Oye.
Fast food was a huge emotional reward. It represented medicating stress, it represented enhancing pleasure. It represented nurturing that I needed and wasn't getting.
And it represented a metric feck ton of over budget calories and addiction behavior.
So yeah...fast food is complicated. There's a reason we crave it and it's not all about it tasting good. Sometimes after surgery we feel tired and overwhelmed and want that comfort habit, that celebration, that medication for stress. And that is NOT the way to eat any food if you want to break the cycle of disordered eating.
Promise yourself other ways of nurturing yourself. Try to avoid food rewards/coping....but at the very least, if you do a food reward...make sure the calories and nutrition can be balanced. Make part of nurturing giving yourself a nutritional win.
Also...if you nurture yourself with food, learn to ask for help with nurturing instead. At my house...whoever does the grocery shopping now is exempt from cooking that night. Someone else has to cook...which makes the grocery buyer feel appreciated and cared for....and keeps her from bringing home junkfood. Do other stuff that makes you feel good. Have yourself a deep bath, order a good movie or book, schedule a massage....do something nice for yourself that gives you a similar warm fuzzy feeling without the colossal calories.
At the end of the day.....fast food isn't the problem. It can be consumed sensibly if we're ready and understand why it's dangerous. Lots of places are offering some healthier options.
The real problem is unmet need, stress that needs soothing, celebratory traditions that are ingrained but unhealthy.
I did a lot of talking about fast food and modifying fast food traditions with my therapist. It genuinely helped.

I think one of the reasons I really felt I had to take control of fast food....were the conversations I had with my therapist about how I used fast food in the past. It was a huge reward/comfort/coping mechanism (read binge trigger...disordered eating symptom).
If I was having a challenging morning, I'd promise myself to make it easier with a Mc Big Breakfast on the way to whatever difficult day awaited me. 766 calories of what felt like self nurturing, but was really self sabotage.....particularly when paired with the rest of the day's stress eating.
If I had that day when I had a million errands and the dreaded task of buying groceries.....I rewarded myself, justifying that after carrying in groceries and putting everything away, woe is me Cinderella....I DESERVED to have the monster bucket of KFC with all the sides for dinner....because it was self nurturing to let someone else make dinner. (self nurturing turned into 850 calories of chicken meal, plus ice cream...oye)
Anytime I had to do something unpleasant...I'd build in the silver lining. A doctor's appointment isn't so bad if you get fries and a fancy coffee afterward. Even after seeing the veterinarian, I had to stop to get the dog a plain burger as a reward for being good....and of course, something for me for undertaking such a task.
You can justify fast food with hospitality and generosity. Oh, I knew Suzy hadn't eaten, so I stopped for her. If you're being considerate to others it's a perfect excuse to reward (sabotage) yourself. Hey, I'm being a good doobie, good for me, I deserve fries, too.
Sometimes the fast food was an enhancement to happy times. How many times have I celebrated a little good news with fast food or a donut? Take the kids to the zoo, everyone's tired, let's get a burger and make it an extra fun afternoon. And of course you get fast food nonstop while traveling or on vacation to bring a little of home with you. Oye.
Fast food was a huge emotional reward. It represented medicating stress, it represented enhancing pleasure. It represented nurturing that I needed and wasn't getting.
And it represented a metric feck ton of over budget calories and addiction behavior.
So yeah...fast food is complicated. There's a reason we crave it and it's not all about it tasting good. Sometimes after surgery we feel tired and overwhelmed and want that comfort habit, that celebration, that medication for stress. And that is NOT the way to eat any food if you want to break the cycle of disordered eating.
Promise yourself other ways of nurturing yourself. Try to avoid food rewards/coping....but at the very least, if you do a food reward...make sure the calories and nutrition can be balanced. Make part of nurturing giving yourself a nutritional win.
Also...if you nurture yourself with food, learn to ask for help with nurturing instead. At my house...whoever does the grocery shopping now is exempt from cooking that night. Someone else has to cook...which makes the grocery buyer feel appreciated and cared for....and keeps her from bringing home junkfood. Do other stuff that makes you feel good. Have yourself a deep bath, order a good movie or book, schedule a massage....do something nice for yourself that gives you a similar warm fuzzy feeling without the colossal calories.
At the end of the day.....fast food isn't the problem. It can be consumed sensibly if we're ready and understand why it's dangerous. Lots of places are offering some healthier options.
The real problem is unmet need, stress that needs soothing, celebratory traditions that are ingrained but unhealthy.
I did a lot of talking about fast food and modifying fast food traditions with my therapist. It genuinely helped.

I eat fast food all the time. But I make better choices. At McD's I'll eat an egg mcmuffin and a coffee with cream and splenda. At Wendy's, I love their grilled chicken strawberry salad and eat about 2/3 of it. At KFC, I've been known to eat two chicken legs, original, no sides...and an ice tea. At Burger King, I'll eat half an Impossible Whopper.
For some people....stopping at fast food is too triggering and leads to free for all binging melt downs.
For me, I've found that I need to face my triggers to feel in control of my eating habits.
I purposefully go to fast food places for lunches (not always, but regularly when working) and order sensibly. I know exactly the number of calories I'm eating and make sure the rest of my day fits. I read the nutrition information before I order, make a plan, and stick to it.
Fast food places don't bother me anymore. I don't feel threatened with feeling out of control anymore. I feel like I can eat there and still eat responsibly.
I like fast food. In moderation. With my eyes wide open.
I like feeling like I've slayed that dragon and it holds no control over me anymore.

I eat fast food all the time. But I make better choices. At McD's I'll eat an egg mcmuffin and a coffee with cream and splenda. At Wendy's, I love their grilled chicken strawberry salad and eat about 2/3 of it. At KFC, I've been known to eat two chicken legs, original, no sides...and an ice tea. At Burger King, I'll eat half an Impossible Whopper.
For some people....stopping at fast food is too triggering and leads to free for all binging melt downs.
For me, I've found that I need to face my triggers to feel in control of my eating habits.
I purposefully go to fast food places for lunches (not always, but regularly when working) and order sensibly. I know exactly the number of calories I'm eating and make sure the rest of my day fits. I read the nutrition information before I order, make a plan, and stick to it.
Fast food places don't bother me anymore. I don't feel threatened with feeling out of control anymore. I feel like I can eat there and still eat responsibly.
I like fast food. In moderation. With my eyes wide open.
I like feeling like I've slayed that dragon and it holds no control over me anymore.

Always contact your medical team if you’re experiencing pain or unusual symptoms. You’ve had a pretty major surgery.
It could be something as simple as healing symptoms (I was getting uncomfortable spasms & twinges as I was healing from my gall surgery). It could be that your drinking a little too quickly. But definitely give your team a call to be sure.

Yep, I had these. Mostly after taking a sip of liquid, but sometimes just because. It's not uncommon, I've heard people refer to it as a "cramp" (that's what I called it), a "pinch", or a spasm. For me it had completely passed by week 3. Definitely ask your surgeon about it though, there's no way we can know whether what you experiencing is due to the same cause. Always best to be safe.

It’s like a Charlie horse in my lower chest. A heating pad helps as well as hot tea or broth. They were really bad but are getting better. I do have follow up here

Get her lined up with an app where you can video chat while playing a game together, like checkers or something simple. You could read her your favorite kid's books. You could try fun novelty items together instead of food...puzzles, little toys, new art supplies. And heck...there are lots of fun Snacks that aren't that bad for you. You could send her bariatric snacks to try with you...get an honest opinion!

Drives me crazy when people call every kind of hunger "head hunger." Head hunger is when you've just eaten a balanced full calorie meal and you see a donut and think you want it. THAT is head hunger. Or you've just eaten the last of your maintenance calories for the day....and your husband is eating ice cream in bed and you think...damn some ice cream would be good! That's Head Hunger. Or you have a carefully balanced small piece of pizza and a salad, and you think...damn, another piece of pizza would be better than this salad....that's head hunger again. Your nutitional needs have been met, but you are craving something that you don't really need.
When you've just had surgery and you are subsisting on less than 1000 calories a day....you are HUNGRY. Like, really genuinely hungry. So hungry, in fact, that your body's needs are NOT being met by nutritional intake, so it is consuming itself.
Anytime you are losing weight, by definition....your body is genuinely hungry. Your body is so desperately hungry, in fact.....that it is eating human fat (and hopefully not muscle) to meet its fuel needs.
Lack of food and consuming body=HUNGER.
Most of us are hungry. A lot. Being in denial about it and telling people they're lying to themselves about being hungry isn't helpful.
Hunger isn't a dirty word. It's ok if we're hungry. We've got a lot of stored calories and excess flesh to consume.
But YES, I am HUNGRY when i'm losing weight. And yes, hunger sucks.
Sometimes, I think this lie worsens the pathology of food addiction. We already have enough issues with a history of lying to ourselves about food. Sometimes honesty is healthier and better.
When I lose weight...I'm freaking hungry. It sucks to feel hungry, but it's necessary. It feels good to be thinner, it feels good to be healthier, and good health is worth it. I can handle feeling hungry. Enduring hunger is part of the work. Resisting cravings is another part of the work. Two different things. Both are tough.
Describing this honestly...is a hell of a lot easier to swallow, in my opinion, than "No, you're not hungry, your head is playing tricks on you."
We know better. Lies don't help.

Also...this is gonna sound old fashioned....but if she's a creative kid....send her some puppets. You guys can do an online puppet show together, make believe play is still something 10 year old people enjoy....which is why they are so much fun:)

Mediterranean/middle eastern plate: olives, hummus, bean salad and flat bread
 

Buck list check off........ It was Soooooo amazing. I want to go right back up and do it again.

You're eating less than 500 very low carb calories a day. That, in itself, will cause a little weight loss in 6 days. But the bulk of what you've lost is likely Water. Because of your low carbs, you are stripping your liver of all the glucose stored there...so it shrinks. (Which is really nice, because there is a little more room for the surgeon to work with the liver reduced) As the glucose in the liver is used, a lot of water is expelled, too.
This "instant significant weight loss" when we mostly eliminate carbs from our diets....is why people are so delighted when they go on a Keto diet and instantly lose weight and inches around their waists. But they're not losing fat....they're just losing their emergency glucose and the water it's stored in, and just shrinking their livers.
Your loss is normal and I wouldn't worry about it. Keep following your team's instructions.

Nerves are normal. Big emotions are normal. Get prepared as much as you can, and expect to work hard and have challenges. You will need to employ patience. It won't be easy.
Most important advice freshly post-op. Sip. Sip. Sip. Use the stupid little cups, make the chart on paper, and put all of your attention and focus the next week....into drinking as much as you're supposed to.
Drink one teenie little one ounce cup in ten teenie little sips. Do this every 15 minutes, all day, as long as you are awake. 4 ounces an hour...if you are awake 16 hours = 64 ounces. But you have to pay attention and do it. Every. Single. Hour.
Your job the next week is to watch the clock and drink.
Sip, sip, sip.
That's how you stay out of the hospital for dehydration.
Best wishes and congrats!

Nerves are normal. Big emotions are normal. Get prepared as much as you can, and expect to work hard and have challenges. You will need to employ patience. It won't be easy.
Most important advice freshly post-op. Sip. Sip. Sip. Use the stupid little cups, make the chart on paper, and put all of your attention and focus the next week....into drinking as much as you're supposed to.
Drink one teenie little one ounce cup in ten teenie little sips. Do this every 15 minutes, all day, as long as you are awake. 4 ounces an hour...if you are awake 16 hours = 64 ounces. But you have to pay attention and do it. Every. Single. Hour.
Your job the next week is to watch the clock and drink.
Sip, sip, sip.
That's how you stay out of the hospital for dehydration.
Best wishes and congrats!