KarenLR75

My son was murdered this week, he died yesterday morning and took his last breath at 5: 46 AM. I'm devastated and trying to understand why this is happening to us, me. I will be taking a break from BP, postponing my surgery next week, because I have to prepare to lay my only child to rest. He was my biggest supporter of this surgery, so I'll be back because he was going to be there with me and believed in this.
My heart is hurting and forever broken.

Hey, I don't know if any of you guys need a bit of extra support. I just want to invite you to come join us online tonight in our meeting. PM me for the deets if you are in need.

I've been on the thread and I had RNY so I'm thinking were are not 'sleeve-centric' as much as we are 'things that CAN possibly contribute to rate of weight loss and how best to address and do what we can to remove these roadblocks if at all possible..

I think that is the crux of it ... I'm ok with with subtle results from low cost options. But for real money, I'd be beyond disappointed at some of the "afters I've seen!
That's great you see results in your neck. I definitely need some help in that area
I also have one of those microneedling rollers. I don't think it has any effect either.
What I am interested in is a combo of RF & Microneedling. One of the machines/companies is called Profound RF. Their before and afters are pretty dramatic. In the office where I got my filler, they had posters up for a different machine/company, and their neck example was AMAZING. But the prices I have seen are high, like over $1K. I'm just not willing to take that kind of financial risk
In my plastic surgery thread @ms.sss brought up a facelift vs. theses non-surgical alternatives. I think it is a good question. If a facelift will cost $10-$12K, and be dramatic. How much does it make sense to pay for these more subtle alternatives?

Keep us updated on the results, if you could. I started on RF treatments on my face and neck. I only had a few because even the results the nurse was prod of and showed me were subtle. The suggested number of treatments would be in the $1K range, and then regular maintenance after that. It just felt like money poorly spent, IME.
I am curious about microneedling + RF. They have fantastic before/afters. But even more expensive, and are they realistic results?

Can I join this club? I know this is for people who had the sleeve but I had the bypass on 10/01/2019 but am a slow loser and need y'alls support!! my stats are below.....

I am 8 weeks out and my plan says I am on phase 5. But I am sticking with some soft foods and moving slowing to other foods. I did have a half of grapefruit because I am craving it. I never ate grapefruit pre-op lol. I'm also into grilled mushrooms, again didnt really eat that before surgery.
The weight is moving a lil faster because I started working out. I also have increased my Protein. I am using the Isopure banana cream. you can have two scoops and its 50 grams of protein.

Hope everyone is staying focus and giving the scale a big FU

I learn so much on here everyday. I didn't know that we could block/ignore others but, good to know if really needed. I truly value and appreciate all of our differing opinions and views on BP, this is what makes us individuals. I'm opening my mind to other's cultural views and approaches to how we all choose to remedy obesity with this tool being the common denominator amongst us as humans. I don't offend easily, nor do I intend to give negative energy and contribute hate to anything in life. I'm thankful for your healing and for you taking whatever time you want to invest back into the universe to help heal us... I appreciate each and everyone of you and all of our uniqueness that we bring...

I was JUST thinking about you today, and wondering when exactly your surgery is/was!
Congrats on what sounds like a successful surgery and a smooth recovery so far!
I concur w @ms.sss, you are standing awfully straight, and hopefully that will spare you the back pain!

Yay, Sophie, I was thinking about you yesterday...glad to see you are doing well!
BTW, you look way to chipper in that last photo for someone who just had surgery, LOL.
And I am amazed at how straight you are able to stand! Although I suppose fleur-de-lis has a vertical incision which wouldn't hunch you down as much?...you are fortunate that you will be spared the back pain!
Looking forward to reading about your progress 💜

Statistics
Cost: $16,000 for BREAST LIFT AND FLEUR DE LIS STYLED Tummy Tuck (saved up and self paid)
Date: January 21, 2020 surgery date
Surgeon: Dr. Dana Goldberg, Jupiter, Florida
Three days before surgery Hibiclens antispetic showers and application of Mupirocin ointment. I ate my regular routine and variety of high quality salads, fresh fruits, nuts, veggies, baked seeded crackers (Firehook brand) with cheese nibbles along with hot tea/1% milk + 80 -100 oz. Water per day.
Day One
Surgery 9:00am - 3:30pm yesterday. Was administered Experal, Valium (if needed) and Enoxaparin. Recovery time until 6:00 pm. Hubby takes me home and I'm in bed by 8:00 pm until 5:00am to empty pressurize drains (3) + urinate. Off balance a bit and slumped to the floor. Puppy to the rescue! Not a fall - just loopy and off balance a bit. Walked around the house with my walker device twice. Surgeon does not want me bent over but standing straight up.
Day Two
Today follow-up appointment at surgeons office 9:15am. Everything looked great and they were amazed with my healthy appearance. I believe this is attributable to clean and simple eating, water, no sugar or salt or little processed products. 5 pounds of skin was removed and I feel so much lighter! That puts me at 124! - Of course, after swelling and settling in the next weeks and months to follow maybe more.... I had them take a picture of the removed flesh. I see it fascinating, not morbid. After all, it was a part of me once. Got a glimpse of the girls aka. breasts today and I love them!!! Perky and pretty. No longer the inherited elongated missels downward from my mother and Aunt! Haha.
Other supplements to help with pain + wound healing are daily Juven drink, Arnica, stool softener, Oxycodone graduating to Tylenol as needed. In other knee surgeries - I found keeping ahead of the pain was better than when in pain.
Overall, so far, this whole process has been intriguing AND not as bad as I thought. Sensing a good premise of what's to follow. My compression garments and socks actually feel really good - stabilizing me + fit well. They placed pads between the stitches and garment. So far feeling not pinching or discomfort. We are having crispy cool whether and enjoyed a walk down the block with hubby and puppy this afternoon. Tonight Hubby's making our favorite navy bean Soup with loads of veggies, cloves + baked ham cubes for flavor. He also made Chia pudding to die for made with vanilla, pear, orange, macadamia nuts, cacao powder... Nice winter recipes.
Very excited and feel most fortunate to take this next step to what will become another game changer. I want my 60's to be a fabulous decade!
Do hope all the ladies in our winterized plastics group continued best wishes and quality healing. Addie ;]

Amen. I actually blocked someone not because they were directly upsetting me, but because they went over the top and were rude, condescending, and plain mean to more than just 1 person on a thread that was a 'support group' for a specific situation.
They have chased off some of the original posters and caused others to fear posting and no, I'm not talking about 'I'm afraid if I post my meals, they will point out that my carbs seem a bit high' or they will 'bust me cuz I had Cookies at Xmas and some wine and they are going to say that is why I haven't lost for X weeks'.
Everyone has a right to their opinion but when that opinion starts to become unproductive, and you move from an intent to help even with tough love to being rude and mean because by God you want your opinion HEARD then for me...that is giving opinions with malicious intent (maybe the poster doesn't even recognize it, but just like the majority of us having a history of bad coping techniques, maybe we should consider it is not just the ppl asking for help who may need some tough love..maybe the posters who want to ignore requests to please leave off with the destructive comments...should consider that this may be part of their bad coping habits showing up still(.
I think EVERYONE benefits from self examination. I ask myself in my work life, my personal life and here..is what I'm saying true...and is the reason I'm saying it to be helpful/i.e. what is the true intent of my heart...when I go from both of those being 'YES' to the 2nd one being 'NO', for me. I bite my tongue. Also, I have never been asked to please stop commenting on a thread but if that ever happened, I would leave them in peace and not keep decrying my right to post...
Thus...I have blocked 2 ppl in the 3 years I've been on this forum. Even though I had surgery just this past July, I've been around for a while...just offering my own personal perspective and how much I agree with the decision to block/flag for ignore - don't let anyone chase you away from your journey. Don't give up on a thread or leave if staying is TRULY beneficial to you and be prepared for some tough love but not for insults and rudeness.
Reminds me of a saying from marriage counselors (i have many friends that are in this occupation) that I've heard over the years: Do you want to be right or do you want to be married? Yeah, a bit off the precise topic...but sometimes at work we also talk about 'do you want to win the battle' or win the war?

Amen. I actually blocked someone not because they were directly upsetting me, but because they went over the top and were rude, condescending, and plain mean to more than just 1 person on a thread that was a 'support group' for a specific situation.
They have chased off some of the original posters and caused others to fear posting and no, I'm not talking about 'I'm afraid if I post my meals, they will point out that my carbs seem a bit high' or they will 'bust me cuz I had Cookies at Xmas and some wine and they are going to say that is why I haven't lost for X weeks'.
Everyone has a right to their opinion but when that opinion starts to become unproductive, and you move from an intent to help even with tough love to being rude and mean because by God you want your opinion HEARD then for me...that is giving opinions with malicious intent (maybe the poster doesn't even recognize it, but just like the majority of us having a history of bad coping techniques, maybe we should consider it is not just the ppl asking for help who may need some tough love..maybe the posters who want to ignore requests to please leave off with the destructive comments...should consider that this may be part of their bad coping habits showing up still(.
I think EVERYONE benefits from self examination. I ask myself in my work life, my personal life and here..is what I'm saying true...and is the reason I'm saying it to be helpful/i.e. what is the true intent of my heart...when I go from both of those being 'YES' to the 2nd one being 'NO', for me. I bite my tongue. Also, I have never been asked to please stop commenting on a thread but if that ever happened, I would leave them in peace and not keep decrying my right to post...
Thus...I have blocked 2 ppl in the 3 years I've been on this forum. Even though I had surgery just this past July, I've been around for a while...just offering my own personal perspective and how much I agree with the decision to block/flag for ignore - don't let anyone chase you away from your journey. Don't give up on a thread or leave if staying is TRULY beneficial to you and be prepared for some tough love but not for insults and rudeness.
Reminds me of a saying from marriage counselors (i have many friends that are in this occupation) that I've heard over the years: Do you want to be right or do you want to be married? Yeah, a bit off the precise topic...but sometimes at work we also talk about 'do you want to win the battle' or win the war?

WTG Girl! *This is KEY IMHO. I had to do this. Every time my body would stop, I'd mix things up. It also helped keep the "losing game" fresh and innovative. I didn't have time to get bored...well I did, actually, but then I'd change the rules and boom baby! Excitement and focus and hope/positive outlook was back! That's what I did in the last 30-40lbs to lose to Goal #3. And it did include IF and EFs as well as heavy calorie/macro counting (which I love to nerd-out on).

You got this girl!

^^^^ Loved what you said here, @Serengirl!

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

IT was not political!!!! - It was a shot at Fluffy for fun for the exact same post above-
Trust me I could care less about views on politics and religion - to me that is your private life and i never express or even have a view! Im lucky if i know who the president even is!

Dang i am the first one to get blocked - I feel special!

Also, always a good idea in my opinion to check in with your surgeon/nutritionist when concerned about weight loss. They know your history hopefully extremely well and any challenges you are facing (i.e. illnesses, diabetes, PCOS, menopause (peri, during or post), injuries etc. that prevent regular exercise)....they should not be just a team that does the surgery and goes away.
My surgeon, nutritionist and I already kind of knew ahead of time that I was likely to be a slow loser and I had been an extremely slow loser in any method I chose after years upon years of yo yo dieting. So we knew I was going to likely fall somewhere in the middle range at best but we all hoped for more.
They have termed me a low average to slow loser and that is fine as I know it just means I need to be more diligent on the things within my control that will take me from slow to 'no loser'. We made adjustments and tweaks along the way working our ways through stalls, through possible other issues.
Like I mentioned before, I had been given, when 2 months out, my target calories and I had to push a bit to get my target macros as I favor a low carb/low fat diet. After 4 weeks, even being under 20-30 grams of carbs, things just seemed to flatten. Then they switched my macros around and increased my carbs which had me tripping out but the weight started coming off again.
Sure we can come here and vent and hopefully what this leads to is productive behavior which means continuing to stick out the journey, to step away from the scale when the frustrations threaten your journey, to look at other NSV's, to check and see are their basics we are letting slip (i.e. I stopped logging food in my fitness pal for 3 days so I had no hard data when something changed)...are we choosing a 'good/valid' entry in our trackers...do we have firm understanding of some of the things we are concerned about.
If ppl ask you to post your food, don't think it is that they don't believe you...there could be something you are missing or it validates what you are saying, you get others who have been down this road...their very valuable input...and then ppl can help tackle troubleshooting other things. What I hope we get the MOST from threads like this is when we are open, and...maybe a bit more careful with tone (not saying things should not be challenged or debated that are actually wrong...I just don't want to alienate someone who doesn't understand how we got to xyz reply and frustrated tone..to not post what they are doing because they are afraid.
In the end we want to all help each other REMAIN on our journey whether losing 20 lbs, 10 lbs 5 lbs a month..or sometimes even 0...yes, that can happen...because we know in the end, patience and persistence will win out.

@Sheribear68 - you are so amazing! What you posted is exactly what I feel this thread was meant to be for..for support, to give the wisdom of the fact that lbs lost per week in the first 6 months, 2 months, 1st month, etc. is not the 'factor' that determines your journey's success. Long term studies I've seen show that people who do what you said - and stay on and work their plan..and yes, the more lost..the more we will have to work...that if you stick with it you WILL hit your goal DESPITE whether you dumped a ton of weight in the first few months or not.
I think over 90% of the ppl on this thread are looking for general support - no one that I can recall has taken the more negative mindset and said 'hey, this surgery didn't work'...or 'I wish I had never done this'....most ppl are wanting just a bit more support emotionally and maybe if they wish, to have ppl talk about tips to address certain issues that may or may not make their own weight loss journey a bit more challenging.
I hope this thread stays positive so people can get the encouragement they need and as others have said, we are here because we want to REMAIN fully committed to the journey and it is helpful when we are talking to people who are WORKING through the same thing or have been through the same thing. We PLAN and are DETERMINED to hit our goal weights - that is why this thread is valuable for me...just like Fluffy's headwork thread and several other threads.

@Sheribear68 - you are so amazing! What you posted is exactly what I feel this thread was meant to be for..for support, to give the wisdom of the fact that lbs lost per week in the first 6 months, 2 months, 1st month, etc. is not the 'factor' that determines your journey's success. Long term studies I've seen show that people who do what you said - and stay on and work their plan..and yes, the more lost..the more we will have to work...that if you stick with it you WILL hit your goal DESPITE whether you dumped a ton of weight in the first few months or not.
I think over 90% of the ppl on this thread are looking for general support - no one that I can recall has taken the more negative mindset and said 'hey, this surgery didn't work'...or 'I wish I had never done this'....most ppl are wanting just a bit more support emotionally and maybe if they wish, to have ppl talk about tips to address certain issues that may or may not make their own weight loss journey a bit more challenging.
I hope this thread stays positive so people can get the encouragement they need and as others have said, we are here because we want to REMAIN fully committed to the journey and it is helpful when we are talking to people who are WORKING through the same thing or have been through the same thing. We PLAN and are DETERMINED to hit our goal weights - that is why this thread is valuable for me...just like Fluffy's headwork thread and several other threads.

Amen. I actually blocked someone not because they were directly upsetting me, but because they went over the top and were rude, condescending, and plain mean to more than just 1 person on a thread that was a 'support group' for a specific situation.
They have chased off some of the original posters and caused others to fear posting and no, I'm not talking about 'I'm afraid if I post my meals, they will point out that my carbs seem a bit high' or they will 'bust me cuz I had Cookies at Xmas and some wine and they are going to say that is why I haven't lost for X weeks'.
Everyone has a right to their opinion but when that opinion starts to become unproductive, and you move from an intent to help even with tough love to being rude and mean because by God you want your opinion HEARD then for me...that is giving opinions with malicious intent (maybe the poster doesn't even recognize it, but just like the majority of us having a history of bad coping techniques, maybe we should consider it is not just the ppl asking for help who may need some tough love..maybe the posters who want to ignore requests to please leave off with the destructive comments...should consider that this may be part of their bad coping habits showing up still(.
I think EVERYONE benefits from self examination. I ask myself in my work life, my personal life and here..is what I'm saying true...and is the reason I'm saying it to be helpful/i.e. what is the true intent of my heart...when I go from both of those being 'YES' to the 2nd one being 'NO', for me. I bite my tongue. Also, I have never been asked to please stop commenting on a thread but if that ever happened, I would leave them in peace and not keep decrying my right to post...
Thus...I have blocked 2 ppl in the 3 years I've been on this forum. Even though I had surgery just this past July, I've been around for a while...just offering my own personal perspective and how much I agree with the decision to block/flag for ignore - don't let anyone chase you away from your journey. Don't give up on a thread or leave if staying is TRULY beneficial to you and be prepared for some tough love but not for insults and rudeness.
Reminds me of a saying from marriage counselors (i have many friends that are in this occupation) that I've heard over the years: Do you want to be right or do you want to be married? Yeah, a bit off the precise topic...but sometimes at work we also talk about 'do you want to win the battle' or win the war?

Amen. I actually blocked someone not because they were directly upsetting me, but because they went over the top and were rude, condescending, and plain mean to more than just 1 person on a thread that was a 'support group' for a specific situation.
They have chased off some of the original posters and caused others to fear posting and no, I'm not talking about 'I'm afraid if I post my meals, they will point out that my carbs seem a bit high' or they will 'bust me cuz I had Cookies at Xmas and some wine and they are going to say that is why I haven't lost for X weeks'.
Everyone has a right to their opinion but when that opinion starts to become unproductive, and you move from an intent to help even with tough love to being rude and mean because by God you want your opinion HEARD then for me...that is giving opinions with malicious intent (maybe the poster doesn't even recognize it, but just like the majority of us having a history of bad coping techniques, maybe we should consider it is not just the ppl asking for help who may need some tough love..maybe the posters who want to ignore requests to please leave off with the destructive comments...should consider that this may be part of their bad coping habits showing up still(.
I think EVERYONE benefits from self examination. I ask myself in my work life, my personal life and here..is what I'm saying true...and is the reason I'm saying it to be helpful/i.e. what is the true intent of my heart...when I go from both of those being 'YES' to the 2nd one being 'NO', for me. I bite my tongue. Also, I have never been asked to please stop commenting on a thread but if that ever happened, I would leave them in peace and not keep decrying my right to post...
Thus...I have blocked 2 ppl in the 3 years I've been on this forum. Even though I had surgery just this past July, I've been around for a while...just offering my own personal perspective and how much I agree with the decision to block/flag for ignore - don't let anyone chase you away from your journey. Don't give up on a thread or leave if staying is TRULY beneficial to you and be prepared for some tough love but not for insults and rudeness.
Reminds me of a saying from marriage counselors (i have many friends that are in this occupation) that I've heard over the years: Do you want to be right or do you want to be married? Yeah, a bit off the precise topic...but sometimes at work we also talk about 'do you want to win the battle' or win the war?

Amen. I actually blocked someone not because they were directly upsetting me, but because they went over the top and were rude, condescending, and plain mean to more than just 1 person on a thread that was a 'support group' for a specific situation.
They have chased off some of the original posters and caused others to fear posting and no, I'm not talking about 'I'm afraid if I post my meals, they will point out that my carbs seem a bit high' or they will 'bust me cuz I had Cookies at Xmas and some wine and they are going to say that is why I haven't lost for X weeks'.
Everyone has a right to their opinion but when that opinion starts to become unproductive, and you move from an intent to help even with tough love to being rude and mean because by God you want your opinion HEARD then for me...that is giving opinions with malicious intent (maybe the poster doesn't even recognize it, but just like the majority of us having a history of bad coping techniques, maybe we should consider it is not just the ppl asking for help who may need some tough love..maybe the posters who want to ignore requests to please leave off with the destructive comments...should consider that this may be part of their bad coping habits showing up still(.
I think EVERYONE benefits from self examination. I ask myself in my work life, my personal life and here..is what I'm saying true...and is the reason I'm saying it to be helpful/i.e. what is the true intent of my heart...when I go from both of those being 'YES' to the 2nd one being 'NO', for me. I bite my tongue. Also, I have never been asked to please stop commenting on a thread but if that ever happened, I would leave them in peace and not keep decrying my right to post...
Thus...I have blocked 2 ppl in the 3 years I've been on this forum. Even though I had surgery just this past July, I've been around for a while...just offering my own personal perspective and how much I agree with the decision to block/flag for ignore - don't let anyone chase you away from your journey. Don't give up on a thread or leave if staying is TRULY beneficial to you and be prepared for some tough love but not for insults and rudeness.
Reminds me of a saying from marriage counselors (i have many friends that are in this occupation) that I've heard over the years: Do you want to be right or do you want to be married? Yeah, a bit off the precise topic...but sometimes at work we also talk about 'do you want to win the battle' or win the war?

Hi RoseGoldHeart,

💚

LOL... well that would NOT be constructive! No guns blazing from me
I personally have not taken offense from any replies I have received, they have been great. I love the support I am getting. I love the support that most other posters are giving to others as well. But I have read some replies to other posts that were not "tough love" but instead over the top, uncalled for, and totally non-productive. Some are downright insulting. Certainly not tough love.
The way I see it, those who get offended most easily are probably the most insecure among us. They need our support the most. And if that means we need to be a little gentler with them, then I am all for it.

Agreed. Just the choice of wording can mean the difference between someone "hearing" you or "shutting you out" because they feel judged or even persecuted. And if they feel judged or persecuted, they are likely to not come back for more help they obviously need. I try to be mindful of that when I post replies. Tough love is great, if it is well delivered. We just need to be mindful of whether our help will be viewed as constructive help or not. The goal is to provide constructive help.