Mattymatt

And in no time, you will be back to your active self! Just remember to be patient and gentle on yourself! :-)

In an ideal world, a person's weight should not matter in a relationship as we should really love someone for the entirety of the person. However, in the United States at least, physical attraction plays too large a role. I am now at the weight I was at when I graduated high school back in 1997 so clearly weight has been a lifelong struggle of mine yet I refused to see beauty in overweight women.
I spent so much of my life in the shallow end of life's swimming pool that it wasn't until I began addressing my weight from a serious and sober perspective, i.e. this weight loss surgery journey, that I found myself looking honestly past physical imperfections. Something in me clicked and I realized physical beauty can be found in anyone! Where I am working, there is a beautiful dispatcher. She's overweight but has a beautiful face and striking eyes. Man, the old me would have totally missed this and I would've missed a very nice person. She's too young for me as she's only 22, but by all accounts, she's very beautiful. I kind of wish I was a younger man (with my present accumulated wisdom) because she would be in trouble

I met my husband when I was 22 but we did not start dating until I was 25. At that time, I weighed 125-130. He was a former model and absolutely gorgeous. We were wildly attracted to each other. We married in 1984 when I was 26 and always had an active lifestyle (sailing, Water and snow skiing, tennis). I never had weight problems and we had a great relationship.
In my late 40s I begin to gain weight even though there were no changes in my diet or activity level. I had multiple appts. with my doctor to do testing (thyroid, cortisol)---all normal. I gradually got up to 220 which was unbelievable to me. At age 50 I started Atkins and lost 40 pounds in about 7 months. At age 51 I quit smoking after 33 years. Over the next few years my weight really shot up and my asthma got worse. I then, in 2014, was involved in a horrible car accident and sat in my house recovering from surgery and injuries for 4 months and then forced myself to return to work but I was unhealthy, obese and miserable. I hit my all time high weight of 290 pounds in November 2017. I had gained 165 pounds since we met...
Through all of this, he was and is my biggest supporter. Our relationship has suffered in every way because I was depressed, sick and felt so bad about myself. He has never gone a day without telling me that I am beautiful and he loves me. He has always said that the only thing that bothers him about my weight is that it makes me down on myself and limits/changes what activities we can do together. I do not believe this 100% but that is the type of man he is. We especially miss being able to take trips on the Harley, which we dearly love. Hopefully back to it soon.
He is thrilled with where I am at now, even though there is still a ways to go. I know our commitment is forever.

And in no time, you will be back to your active self! Just remember to be patient and gentle on yourself! :-)

This is going to sound strange but are you drinking enough Water? I had some pre-surgery edema in my ankles which subsided when I upped my Fluid intake. My doctor said that due to my excess weight, I needed to drink more water. She said sometimes not drinking enough can cause overweight bodies to hold on to water. Perhaps you want to have a discussion with your doctor?

I had no problems with drinking either. The problems I had all came when I started eating again. My first 3.5 weeks post-op were smooth as silk. Then the next 4 were abject misery. But even with that, I am so glad I did this!

I use optisource Post-Bariatric Surgery cheweables. They taste great and are generally gentle on the stomach. Take 4 per day.

I could f*ck almost anyone..provided they have what I'm most attracted to:
1. intelligence.
2. Humor.
3. Progressive views and values.
4. An incredibly sexy speaking voice and unique command of language (I confess, this is my kryptonite)
5. Humility and compassion.
6. Confidence. Confidence. Confidence. Confidence is hot.
7. Creativity.
For all of these reasons....I could f*ck Tony Soprano and Tyrion Lannister...and it would be incredibly hot.
Maybe I just like Byronic Anti-heros? I don't know.
There are a LOT of physical imperfections I could overlook for a guy with the above attributes.
The mind is far more attactive to me than the body.
And as we age? Bodies go to absolute ****. LOL. Beauty is fleeting. A fascinating mind is forever. Invest in something with more substance.

This is my uneducated opinion but I really think a goodly number of us got to where we were because we had an unhealthy relationship to food, i.e. an addiction. Speaking for myself, I definitely had an an unhealthy relationship to food. Being super strict about eating is as bad as overeating as it's swinging the pendulum in the opposite direction. We have lived our lives between two extremes: extreme dieting and extreme overeating. @Creekimp13 is quite correct about learning to live a life in balance.

In an ideal world, a person's weight should not matter in a relationship as we should really love someone for the entirety of the person. However, in the United States at least, physical attraction plays too large a role. I am now at the weight I was at when I graduated high school back in 1997 so clearly weight has been a lifelong struggle of mine yet I refused to see beauty in overweight women.
I spent so much of my life in the shallow end of life's swimming pool that it wasn't until I began addressing my weight from a serious and sober perspective, i.e. this weight loss surgery journey, that I found myself looking honestly past physical imperfections. Something in me clicked and I realized physical beauty can be found in anyone! Where I am working, there is a beautiful dispatcher. She's overweight but has a beautiful face and striking eyes. Man, the old me would have totally missed this and I would've missed a very nice person. She's too young for me as she's only 22, but by all accounts, she's very beautiful. I kind of wish I was a younger man (with my present accumulated wisdom) because she would be in trouble

I decided not to do before photos this time. I did them on the previous two weight loss attempts. I want nothing to remind me of where I was. My past belongs in the past and I don't ever want to look at pictures of myself at 366 pounds again. I like living in the present and love watching my clothes get steadily too big for me. This is more rewarding than a photo ever will be. I am going to keep one pair of jeans from my heaviest so that when I feel down about life I can out them on and realize that I am a success.

Is it true that a person can only absorb a certain amount of Protein at a time, like 20g or 30g?
This is mostly FALSE.
The body absorbs the amount of protein it needs at any given time – it doesn’t turn off or automatically stop at 20g or 30g or 40g.
There is a myth that protein absorption is capped at a maximum amount for a given period of time. While the body is able to absorb as much as 300 to 400 grams of protein during a 24-hour period, this is not recommended because there are complications associated with a protein intake that high. The high end of protein-per-day recommendation is 100 to 120 grams. Absorption of protein relies on many factors including – source of protein, length of the Roux limb in gastric bypass, size of the sleeve or pouch and one's intake of micronutrients like zinc.
The myth probably has something to do with the recommendation that it’s always better to spread out one's protein.
The human body is full of variations for different circumstances – sometimes the body needs more protein such as right after surgery or sometimes less protein, as in the middle of a long sedentary workday.
Five small balanced meals or three meals and two protein Snacks is a universal bariatric recommendation.
https://www.bariatriceating.com/2016/08/faq-dietician-told-can-absorb-20g-protein-time-limit-shake-size/
Bariatric surgery isn’t mentioned in this article, but there’s this: "while it’s technically true that we aren’t absorbing 30 grams (let alone more) of protein all at once, it will eventually be absorbed." (In other words, we don't just poop it out.)
https://www.marksdailyapple.com/dear-mark-how-much-protein-can-you-absorb-and-use-from-one-meal/

Keep a food journal. Keep calories under 1200. Increase exercise.
Best wishes.

You should not experience dumping on full liquids. Dumping is caused by eating sugary foods. You could get it if you drink full sugar gatorade, lemonade, etc.

Thanks @Chrisb428 ... I have to tell you I do have a fantasy of running into him in public, especially after I get my plastics, lol! Even better if I have a hot bf with me!

Girl! You are brave for sharing that story, but have come so far! I’m so proud of you and he didn’t deserve you at your worst, def not at your best! He was sexually attracted to you, so it sounds like he was more insecure of what people thought of him than anything else. Screw people like that. Be proud of what you love.

BIG CONFESSION TIME
I had a boyfriend of 7 years, who left me over my weight.
When we got together I was probably around 170-180. When he left me I was about 230.
We had no other major issues. We got along extremely well. We had only a few fights during our entire relationship. Despite my weight I was more physical active, and active in general (more social, traveled frequently), and also took a lot of pride in my appearance. He was slightly overweight when we met, gained some weight, and then lost weight to end up just very slightly overweight.
I noticed he started to not invite me to things with his family or friends. I didn't think too much about it. Holidays were off the table with him having 2 sets of kids, and me with my family, so we never did those together. Otherwise he was pretty much a homebody, so other social events for him were few and far between, made it easy to ignore. We both had demanding and social jobs, so staying in and me cooking was the norm. I barely noticed the decline in going out.
I knew from the beginning I wasn't his physical type. But I figured it wasn't a big deal, because we had a great sex life. There were things about him that weren't ideal, but all the good stuff made up for, I thought it was the same for him.
He began to get more distant. So we finally sat down and talked and he said he wanted to break up. He wouldn't give me an answer why really. I finally asked him if it was my weight. He was surprised I knew it was an issue for him. He told he was embarrassed to bring me around his family and friends or to be seen in public with me. He was still sexually attracted to me, but too embarrassed to be seen with me.
That was four years ago. I only told one person the real reason we broke up, and I did it when I was drunk, lol.

Typically overweight people and healthy people have different lifestyles. This can lead to incompatibility on lots of levels.
It is also hard to watch someone you care about be sick and unhealthy, over time this can wear at a relationship too.

I have personally never seen people break up solely because of weight gain or loss, there always seems to be a different problem lurking in the background and this is the easier thing to pick as the motive (even when its closely related its usually health issues caused by it)
People who want to be together find ways of making it work and last in healthy balanced ways.
Others can't wait for a legitimate "looking" reason to escape without seeming like the villain.

I think sometimes what happens is you lose attraction for the other person. If you meet someone and fall in love with them, and gain 150 pounds during the course of the relationship, it may change your willingness to do things like travel, and do activities you used to do as a couple. Even if someone loves you it may be a bit naive to think they will remain physically attracted to you through all of that.
The opposite is often true as we see on here. One person gets healthy and then the relationship falls apart. It goes both ways.

Most likely they will once you lose about 70+ pounds.

Well Good Luck MattyMath and Dathvick, that is very good to hear.

I am not ashamed to admit that I am a member of the 90% of people who were unsuccessful with long term weight management through diet and exercise alone. Yes, that's the statistic. To the people that would tell me that I took the easy way out I say I took the smart way. I am giving myself the best possible chances at long term weight management. The research shows that 65% of people with a BMI >= 35 that use surgery as a tool have long term success at weight management. Another way of looking at this is over 2/3rds of the people that undergo surgery have success.
I would argue that surgery is harder than traditional diet and exercise. We have both mental and physical challenges to overcome with bariatric surgery. Bariatric surgery essentially forces a lifestyle change upon us. Ironically, I had a much easier time with medically-supervised diet and exercise. I just failed in maintenance.

I got the results of a repeat sleep study today and I no longer have sleep apnea. The sleep doctor said that my average apneas per hour was 2.3 which is well below the threshold for obstructive sleep apnea. This is the third benefit that I've realized post-op. The first two were off of blood sugar control and blood pressure medicines. Tonight, I am going to try to sleep without the CPAP machine. The sleep doctor actually told me that continuing to use the machine may actually cause problems at this point. I shall see how I feel tomorrow morning!

I got the results of a repeat sleep study today and I no longer have sleep apnea. The sleep doctor said that my average apneas per hour was 2.3 which is well below the threshold for obstructive sleep apnea. This is the third benefit that I've realized post-op. The first two were off of blood sugar control and blood pressure medicines. Tonight, I am going to try to sleep without the CPAP machine. The sleep doctor actually told me that continuing to use the machine may actually cause problems at this point. I shall see how I feel tomorrow morning!