habee

You've lost 22 pounds in 6 weeks. I really don't see what the problem is. When is the last time you lost 22 pounds in 6 weeks? I conjecture the answer is, "Never."
My surgery day weight was 218 pounds, so you and I started at nearly the same starting point. Most of my monthly losses were single digit (1 to 7 pounds a month).
It took me 17 months to reach my goal weight. Although I was a slow loser, I'm dancing on a cloud because this is the first time I've been able to keep the weight off.
It's not about how rapidly you lose. Rather, it's about keeping it off for life.
Most of us could lose weight without surgery. Personally, I lost 200+ pounds in the 2 decades prior to surgery (lose 30, gain 50, lose 60, gain 90, rinse/repeat) but could never keep it off.
You're doing well when the bigger picture is examined. Stay off the scale so often and don't ruin a wonderful weight loss tool with a binge episode.
Good luck to you. You can do this.

Almost everyone experiences this. food is a big part of our lives or we wouldn't be here in the first place. Surgery will not fix your head or change the relationship you have with food. In that sense, the surgery is the "easy" part of the journey. The hard part is developing new coping skills and healthier habits. Use the honeymoon period after your surgery to really focus on those issues so that when hunger returns, you have a system in place. Understand, some people don't get the honeymoon period. For whatever reason, they remain hungry after surgery. Even so, their new tool restricts the amount of food that they can eat and they still have to ensure that they're filling their tiny tummy with healthy options.
One rule of thumb that I learned from another poster: When you're hungry, figure out whether you're hungry for something specific, (especially if you've just seen a mouth-watering burger commercial on tv) or just generally hungry and a healthy choice will satisfy. If you're craving one specific food, it's probably head hunger and you need to try and distract yourself. If it's general, then you probably are hungry and need some nutrition in you.
Personally, I'm seeing a therapist for a while to help me work on my food issues. I've got too much invested in this process to fail and I want to give it my best shot.

I hope I can help you to sleep better at night, by saying this, you are not going to go into a coma if your a 12. Let me put it this way, I am regularly a 4 when I wake up in the morning.... never have I had a scare.
12 is a vast improvement from 17-22, but I bet you can get that even lower by cutting out the carbs. Just think about it.

Have you considered working with a therapist to address food addiction? And I don’t mean to sound insensitive. I have had to admit that I am a food addict and certain carbs and sweets are triggers for me and will take me back to a place I don’t want to go. While some are lucky and able to eat small quantities of whatever they like that will not work for me and while it’s a hard pill to swollen that’s the reality for me. I can’t eat Pasta, breads or sweets because i won’t be able to stop. I worked quite a bit with a therapist and it was extremely helpful. I hope you find what will work for you so you can have the life you desire.

Definitely a bummer! I have printed so many things for my mom to go over and explained my reasoning, but she just doesn’t seem too interested, or accepting. Glad I have people here who are in full understanding!

Hello!

I’m Haley, 27 YO from Toronto, ON.
I will be seeing my surgeon in the next couple of months, and have been told I will have my RNY by the end of the year. I feel like I have been waiting FOREVER. (Referral to Bariatric clinic August of 2017.)
I have absolutely no complications, and all of my appointments have been a breeze.

This is looking to be one of the most positive things that I can think of for my life, so I have started preparing. Practicing not drinking before or after meals, restricting my calories and carb intake, and adding in some moderate cardio daily.
I am having this surgery not only to become a better version of myself, but to help with infertility problems. I have PCOS and it has gone into OVER DRIVE between the birth of my son, 3 following miscarriages, and losing and gaining back 60+ lbs two separate times.
I want more babies, sooooooooooo bad. My husband is the greatest dad, and he deserves more children as well, and welp my ovaries just aren’t cutting it in my hormonal condition right now.
I am also trying to deter a future almost guaranteed diagnoses of type 2 diabetes. My fathers almost entire side of the family has it, and I take after him to a teeeee. ( dad passed at 52 💔, aunt passed at 54)
I have never in my life been ‘slim’ or ‘skinny’ and I seriously mean neverrr.

BUT my family thinks I am crazy to go under the knife for this!
They think because I’ve done well and lost 60+ lbs twice in my life that I should be able to do it no problem.
I’ve tried explaining that it’s not the actual work it’s the maintaining and emotional state I get in when I’m putting in 2 plus hours at the gym 4 -5 days a week on top of maintaining a full time job in corporate, and raising my four year old to be a super hero.
I want this tool more than anything ( except another baby) and I am sooooo ready to work it.
My spouses support is seriously second to none. He has read every article, and just been right on top of it forever reminding me that he is here to support me.
But I just can’t help feeling sad, and angry that my two best friends ( mom and sister) roll their eyes and change the subject when I want to talk about this journey.
How have you dealt with close family members not being supportive? Did they change their tune after seeing your success after surgery?

HB.

I fully agree with you, it is a lot more than just changing your eating and getting outside! My mom and sister are both obese as well and I had hope that one of them would join me on this journey, but absolutely not haha.
The food industry is scary in all honestly.
I wish you all the best through your journey, and you are more deserving of this, I’m sure your success will be ten fold, because you sound determined. ❤️

Yup! You’re spot on with my whys! Thank you for your input, I am super glad that everyone here has a full understanding when not everyone who I tell in my life will. ☺️

This is my response to anyone who does not support my treatment decision: I am having surgery to treat a disease I have had all my life. It will not cure the disease but it is the best treatment option for me currently available. In 2013 obesity was classified by the AMA as a disease - a chronic disease - a chronic, deadly disease. I call it a "gateway" disease, leading one on a pathway to pick up an assortment of other diseases, eg. high blood pressure, high cholesterol, sleep apnea, endometrial cancer, diabetes, arthritis, heart and circulation disease, bad joints, liver and kidney disease, respiratory issues. And more. I have some of those. I don't want any more. Insurance will finally cover the procedure, and at 70, this is my last chance for some relief and possible remission.
Like cancers and many other diseases, a singular core cause remains elusive, but includes multiple factors like genetics, environmental pollutants, chemicals, pesticides, culture, the food industry and biology, as well as lifestyle and coping styles. I am treating this disease with the medical knowledge we have today. If I had not treated my cancer, I would be dead. If I don't treat my obesity, I will be dead soon.

Your sis and mom's reactions are probably motivated by fear. They might ramp up their objections right before surgery....prepare for that. And after surgery, when the fear is largely removed...they'll be supportive.
I might be wrong on this....but it's a fairly common reaction...particularly if either or both of them also struggle with their weight.

Seems folks that are close, tend to go more with the fear of the change rather than seeing the benefits. It sucks, but more than likely they are not supportive out of fear for your safety and as odd as it seems, your health.

Just don’t discuss it with people that aren’t supportive. They may come around when you start doing well, they may not. Either way you need to do what’s best for you and your health. Their feelings about your decision are secondary. In a perfect world they would be happy for you but the world isn’t perfect.

As long as your husband is supportive that’s the most important thing. You can come here for support as needed from other women that struggle with their weight.

If they are not obese and do not have the same health problems as you it will be impossible for you to convince them that this surgery is necessary and you shouldn’t have to. You’re a grown woman with your own family and you do not need their approval.

Best of luck to you with your surgery!

Sorry to hear you are not getting the support that may be expected from your family. Sometimes the issue isn't losing weight (as you can vouch for) the issue is the ability to maintain the loss over the long term. WLS is a tool that can help both in losing weight and maintaining that weight loss.
You don't want to be yoyoing with your weight, and you want to give yourself and husband the best change of another baby, plus you want to be as healthy as you can possibly be for your child/children.
Your mother and sister may not change their stance, but show that you are determined to proceed and have sucess. You can't force them to talk about it, but you can find others that will support you here on the forums and perhaps in various support groups where you are at.

I spent a number of years struggling with infertility/recurrent pregnancy loss and the same stigma haunts that community too. The number of times I'd hear comments about 'natural' versus IVF/assisted reproductive therapies... I swear I'd want to strangle folks. People think that if something was easy for them, it automatically must be easy (natural) for everyone else. This is a medical situation that needs to be treated medically.

"The easy way," yes, that's the road I'd like to go down. When someone finds it, please let me know.

I keep thinking of the same thing being told to someone with obstructive coronary artery disease...
"Did you do it on your own and correct your diet to avoid a heart attack? Or did you do it the easy way and have that pesky triple bypass they said you needed. That's not natural! You must have low self esteem!"

When I sit here and reflect on how much better I feel than I did on April 18 when I started the preop diet I can honestly say that I have no worries on how long this process is going to take.
Before April 18 I had excruciating back pain that limited my activity. Going to the grocery store was a nightmare for me and other activities were just eliminated. I tried a few medications and even had injections from a spine physiatrist with no improvement. My wheezing and shortness of breath (despite 3 daily asthma/COPD medications) was so bad it was hard for me to walk across the street to the mailbox. My pulmonologist was frustrated with the situation as was I. I was a prisoner in my home and feeling really overwhelmed, sad and resigned to the situation I was in. I have been unable to work for over a year. I honestly did not expect the surgery to help any of this.
As of today I have lost 33.8 pounds. My back pain has COMPLETELY resolved and I am able to do whatever I want without pain. I am OFF all three of the asthma/COPD medications since 2 weeks post op and have used my rescue inhaler exactly 3 times since. I am able to walk 1.25 miles in about 25-30 minutes every morning in the Texas heat and humidity. If these changes had not happened to me I would never believe them.
I still have about 100 lbs. to lose to reach my goal. I do not care how long it takes. This surgery is the BEST thing I have ever done for myself. Sure, I get jealous when I see people losing faster than I am but I can only experience my own journey.

I often wonder how many people that get WLS have dieted and lost weight before? Me? I've lost and gained 50, 60, 70 pounds 3 or 4 times.
Sure, the losses with WLS can be quicker, especially in the beginning. But after the initial large losses, the amount of weight lost for most seems to be on par with normal dieting, which if done in a healthy way should be 2-5 pounds a week.
I honestly don't know where everyone gets their unrealistic expectations?

Boy, you came to the right group to ask that question and get honest answers. Lol
I'm married 28 yrs n it's been 1 heck of a roller coaster! I know my partner sometimes better than myself, so I choose not to tell him anything until I was approved and in my 2 week pre op liquid diet.
Sad, yes, but necessary because when you live with passive aggressive or insecure partners, you have to be your own advocate.
(you must read the thread, "I want to throat punch my husband" just substitute husband for partner n you will see it not so uncommon. ) I already know there r issues there.
I agree with everyone, you need to do what is right for you when it is right for you. In the meantime, be strong in yourself and your decision to take care of yourself and let your partner know that up front. A week ago my husband was buying eggplant parm heroes for dinner for me while I'm on pre op liquid diet and not being supportive at all, questioning my decision and not agreeing with it...n last night he laid in bed with me and read through my entire folder and helped me put together a shopping list for my post op 4 weeks. Give her time to adjust and you just keep holding firm, she might just surprise you!
If not, you have a wealth of support here with people that know u r doing the right thing ????
Good luck????

Have you considered that he might be insecure that once you lose weight you'll be more attractive to other men? Unfortunately it isn't uncommon for partners of those who have WLS to develop jealousy and insecurity about this issue. I totally agree with everyone else - this surgery is for YOU and YOUR health! Go forward without his support and tell him, from me, to shove it

I'm going to be the really mean one here. Don't try to force the surgery just because of the insurance window. They approved you once, they'll approve you again.
It sounds like you're not sufficiently prepared for the surgery. This process is only 20% stomach, 80% HEAD! Your head isn't in the game yet. One slip-up is a cheat. One week of binging is self-sabotage. You're looking for an excuse to cancel because you're afraid. If you've read these boards, you've seen people who have totally wasted the opportunity provided by their surgery with self-defeating behavior.
You need to spend the time to get your priorities set, imo. Because after the surgery you will have cravings, you will want comfort foods, you will want to gnaw off your own fingers sometimes with hunger. And you may very well resent others being able to indulge. Don't think that because binging will cause you to throw up right after surgery that you are "cured". There are many ways of "eating around" restrictions and you will have to be constantly on your guard.
Please understand that I'm not trying to be hateful. I want you to succeed. But right now, I think you need to spend time with a therapist, not a surgeon. Good luck to you, whatever you decide.

Yes people have had their surgeries cancelled for not following the diet. Most don't, but you've stated you've got a fatty liver that needs to be shrunk. If they get in there and the liver is too big or in the way... they will close you up and not continue the surgery.

The bigger issue is (and I'm sorry if this comes off as callous, but it's a reason why we all have to do psych evals before hand because not being able to control what we eat past surgery can cause *MAJOR* complications), what's going to happen after your surgery? Yes the pre-op is hard. But post op is just as hard for a while too.

Why do you want the surgery? Don't answer here, but you need to ask yourself this.
When you feel like cheating, you need to ask yourself what's more important, that piece of pizza, or your life.

Honestly, only you have to answer to you and your actions. But it doesn't seem like you are taking stock of how important this change is... that's a lot of food, that's not "cheating".... cheating is "oh I had a bite of something" not, "I haven't been following the diet for a week+". Sorry for being blunt, but, what you posted here is a major problem, and you **NEED** to come clean with your surgeon, surgical staff, nutritionist and psych.

Odds are post bypass there are going to be plenty of things you can't eat... what are you going to do then?
None of your choices were even smart "cheats"... pre-op is when you need to start figuring out the better choices to make,
Yes we are all human and we all make mistakes, but how many mistakes does it take to realize you need to stop? Normal stomachs can take over 15 mins to realize you've eaten, pounding half a pizza and then 2 donuts 2 hours later... IS.NOT.HUNGER. That's compulsion / addiction / "head hunger".

You should be nervous. These actions are major red flags. You need to make the hard choices for yourself and your health. No one else is going to do it for you. Even post surgery, it's not going to be some magic wand that gets waved and you never get real or "head" hungry. Doesn't happen. Cravings are still going to happen. Desire to eat that pizza is still going to happen. But ***YOU*** need to say "no". YOU need to decide to eat something better. YOU need to decide that you don't want to be fat anymore and only YOU can decide that you want to live.

So here's what you do. Stop. All of it. Stop all of the excuses. Stop all of the disappointment in yourself. Stop giving in. Stop giving up. Stop caving in.

Now, today.
Start following that diet to the letter. Start making better choices. Start exercising. Start getting in 64-128oz of waver. Start realizing that food does not control you. Start realizing that if you don't change, your health is not going to improve. Start changing into a better you.

Each day, you should look in the mirror before bed and be honest with yourself. Did you do what you were supposed to? Did you do the right thing?

You **CAN** do this. You just have to MAKE yourself do this.
Stay Strong.

Im 6 months post OP I once weighed 325 but when I had surgery I weighed 285. I've lost 105lbs. This is the best decision I've ever made I love everything about my journey minus the flabby skin but who cares I'm healthier now. It's been rough but my mind was set so I just remind myself why I had to do this.

living life to the fullest and healthy

Genetics for me also -- my father was more than 550 pounds when he died. I was already big as a toddler, and as a child showed signs of significant insulin resistance (acanthosis nigricans). Starting at about 6 years old, I was on restrictive diet after diet, which threw me into rebellious secret eating by about age 10 and then full blown binge eating disorder shortly after. I was about 260 pounds in my early 20s and then got very depressed and gained about 120 pounds in 18 months. (I'm only 5 feet tall.) I've been stable at about 20 pounds below that, 360 pounds, for years, but my mobility and health are really declining now. Depression really does not help at all. Thankfully, I've finally been on a good combination of medications for depression for the last year, and I believe the improvement in my mood is what has driven me toward the possibility of surgery. I want a more active life than I can lead right now. But binge eating disorder still rears its head, so I have to contend with that as I begin the surgery journey.

My reasons for being overweight are many: Genetics, poor eating habits, fast food, and sweets. Once I retired I gained even more because I wasn't doing much which let to depression. I got help for depression and finally started feeling better. My health has suffered from my weight so I knew it was time for a change. Being a yo yo dieter I knew that I had to stop and get help. thus I decided to get WLS. I have surgery in 7 days on 9/11.