virginiaRN

I empathize with Bootscraper's feelings that feels she should have spoken up, but personally I don't have one lick of regret. I know that had I done so, no justice would have been served. The real justice is reporting her higher up the food chain, which is what I am doing. That would have been squashed, and ended there. I am playing the long game, not a quick adrenaline hit. I kept my cool and showed restraint, which now will give me much more credibility in the retelling of the story to the surgeon and the office manager (which I have done). Further, had I said something, that would then be fodder for the PA and her minions to twist in a game of telephone. I will not have my words twisted. I gave her *nothing* to twist around. I walked away or "turned the other cheek." But I am making sure that the right people are aware of her actions. While current circumstances may not reflect it, the culture around the DC area is not one in which you can just have confrontations and say whatever you want. So, I cannot think of a word I could have said or anything I could have done differently that would change anything. Had the office manager or surgeon been there, I could have told them. But they weren't in the office. Anyway, to each his own.

No, no. Have been going there 2 years and never was asked to fill out a survey. As I wrote in a previous comment, I have already written a letter to the surgeon & practice manager. Thanks

It is a private practice. Not part of hospital.

Yes I deleted my reply as I realized I miss understood that part of your reply, as Jan was trying to point out to me. I apologize and am removing myself from the conversation. Have a nice day. Got it. Sorry. I certainly didn't mean to offend anyone. I would love to have cute boobs, trust me! Take care.

Done this morning. I had to follow up. I couldn't live with myself if I let that behavior go unchecked. Like I said, I worry more about the person who may feel more vulnerable than me. A friend of mine went to this practice to inquire about the process and said the PA was so rude to her, she never came back. And this would be such a blessing to her, she has a lot of weight to lose, many comorbidities and a couple little kids to care for. I am hoping she will check out some other practices!

Done and done! Thank you.

I can't see GamePlan18's post. It looks to be deleted. I'm surprised that I have to further denigrate my own looks to state: No, I ***WISH*** they looked like porn/stripper breasts, or hell even normal person breasts. Mine look very odd, with literally NO BREAST TISSUE and not even human. I think I made that pretty clear. Many people have made the erroneous comment that "oh well, at least you get a free boob job" when they heard I was dx'd with breast cancer. *THAT* is the point of that whole section. That my breasts look abnormal and weird, and unlike what unempathetic people have said, getting a "free boob job" wasn't a "upside" of getting cancer. Hope me further describing how hideous my breasts are clarify that for you! Really wasn't trying to go back in that hole today.

So mean. These are the wrong people to be in the medical field. I hate when I hear this, I am so ashamed of my fellow healthcare workers. I'm sorry that happened to you.

I did just that this morning. I agree wholeheartedly. It's just a shame, really. Hopefully, they will remedy this situation and educate/counsel their employees.

If I wasn't an RN, I might not report it. But I feel just like I am a mandatory reporter of abuse for the elderly and children, I am a mandatory "feedback giver." Unfortunately, they crossed someone who knows all too well exactly what ethical codes they have violated, not to mention HIPAA. I will let them know in writing, likely the PA, the MD, and the office manager. And I will be discontinuing care with them. I didn't want to add fuel the fire, but the PA's plan of care was completely inappropriate for my case. She wanted me to get allergy tested (right, b/c after 44 years of living, a brand new food allergy developed 2 weeks ago--yes, it can happen but it's unlikely.) And she recommended I take a medication with aspirin in it, which the MD expressly told all patients never to take. In fact, I have his printed packet stating not to take it. So odd. Having just gotten over a peptic ulcer d/t taking celebrex with nexium (also rx'd by a different PA)--which is not optimal to take as a bariatric patient, but is indicated sometimes, I am extremely leery of taking any NSAIDs or aspirin. I can say that I did personally grow from this and will be even more on guard to protect my patients. But it is just sad that people who are trusted with the care of others are so blase about it. Anyway, thanks folks for your help! I feel better just being able to vent! I will let you know how it goes.

For real!

I mean, I was the only patient there from 3-4. And they close at 4. Not to be d**k ex-ER nurse but that’s not that high stress. And I’ve been going there 2 years. It’s a casual pace compared to most practices. In all likelihood, I will blow it off. But it’s actually just sad. I feel worse for the pre-op people who are exposed to this brand new PA (they have been thru 8 in 2 years).

Hi, folks. I have not been on this board for a long time. Today, I had a visit to my bariatric surgeon's physician assistant (PA). I am 16 months out from roux en y surgery and have lost a total of 101 pounds. I went there today because I have been experiencing severe abdominal pain, bloating and flatulence at night, every night x 2-3 weeks. I should add that I am an RN and am one semester away from completing my Family Nurse Practitioner Master's degree. The PA gave me some advice, ordered some meds and labs and I checked out--it was about 4:10pm. She had told me to do the labs today, due to the severity of the symptoms I was having. Their office was closing. I went to my PCP's office--which has a lab tech--and they were closing and the lab tech had left. I went downstairs to the outpatient lab and it was closed. The only lab open was the STAT lab on the 2nd floor. Since I was still in the building, I thought I'd just double check that the PA did not want these labs to be drawn STAT. I went back to the office. It was locked. I knocked on the door. I had already heard the cackling and loud voices from 10 ft away. As I got closer, I heard the PA saying "I know, and every time she moved her arms! I couldn't believe it! And she had her teenage son with her!" Needless to say both me and my teenaged son (almost 17) heard this. He drove me today because I wasn't feeling well and he also needs to rack up his driving hours to complete his driver's permit and get his regular license. Just then, the PA, the receptionist and someone from the billing dept emerged from the door. They turned white as ghosts. Their jaws almost hit the floor. Being the classy person that I am, I didn't reference that I overheard them talking about something on my body just then. Their reaction confirmed what I thought I overheard. I asked the PA if she wanted the labs STAT, she said no, and my son and I walked to the elevator. The women huddled back by the door, somehow frozen. The only way to either the stairs or the elevator was toward the direction my son and I walked. Clearly, the women felt ashamed (?)/shook by being overheard body-shaming a patient, violating HIPAA, and being overall terrible people. As we drove home, I was pretty hurt. Most patients at a bariatric surgeon's office are going to have body image issues. Whether they are pre-op or post-op, they have likely experienced some type of negativity about their bodies (either from within or without, or both.) Also, I should add, I am a breast cancer survivor. December 2018 is my five-year anniversary of having stage 2 invasive breast cancer and having a b/l radical mastectomy and subsequent reconstruction, followed by a hysterectomy. One year after my b/l mastectomy, the reality hit me that my GG breasts were now AAs, mutilated and scarred. I felt unattractive, repulsive and beyond depressed. I was thrilled to be alive and that it was caught in time to prevent spreading to my lymph nodes and that by doing a b/l mastectomy, I didn't have to do chemo or radiation. I failed to be able to tolerate Tamoxifen, and had to be put on a cocktail of other meds that resulted in me gaining about 50 pounds to my already Rubenesque 225 lb body. It was a low time. Then, I got my reconstruction. My breast did not, do not, and will not look like "porn star" boobs, or "stripper boobs," although many people have suggested that was the "up side" of breast cancer. See, when you get a radical mastectomy, they hollow you out like a cantaloupe. Then, either at the same time, or at a later surgery, they insert implants (or, in some cases, spacers). Because I was 220 pounds when I got my reconstruction, they put the biggest implants the FDA allows--800 cc. The reconstruction surgeon repaired a lot of the scarring caused by a severe post-op infection from the initial surgery, during which both of my breast turned black and I had to debride the dead tissue myself at home. I was and am thrilled that I had a good reconstruction surgeon and, after recovering, felt a little bit more whole. While I had no breast tissue before, but now, any extra cushion vanished as I lost over 100 pounds. My breasts are skin and implant. It's definitely not a "hot" look. Well, all this cancer talk comes into play because what the women were talking about was my breasts. You see, when you get a breast reconstruction, your breasts don't look like regular breasts. Again, they are hard, stiff, and look like "robot boobs," as I call them. Today, at the office, I was wearing a bamboo material sundress, that was mostly dark teal, but also had other colors tie-dyed into the design. In the front is a "peekaboo" hole. The rest of the dress is just an A-line dress with a full skirt. It is not particularly "sexy." (Including my flabby/flappy wing-like arms!) But because my breasts don't move, there is a tiny bit of "side boob" seen protruding into my armpits. Not regular side boob--because remember, nothing is "soft" anymore. No, it's part of the round, button shape (just imagine an implant covered with skin, literally.) As I reconstructed what the women were saying, I recalled more and more of the beginning. I guess in the moment, in shock, my brain kind of protected me and I somewhat blanked out. Look, we are all human, I get it. We all make mistakes. But for God's sakes, you would think that the staff--including a provider--would be a little more sensitive about yucking it up about patient's bodies while anywhere near the doors/exit. I am posting here in general for support because it just feels yucky. I know I've never done anything like that as an RN, but one never knows how one's words may affect another person. Also, the HIPAA violation bothers me. I work very hard to whisper, even when I am behind closed office doors, because I know how much sound carries in offices. I often tell my patients "I'm sorry I'm kind of talking softly, but these room walls are paper-thin and I want to protect your privacy." I know I won't have the b*lls to tell the office. I feel like somehow they would turn it around on me, even though 3 of them were there and me *AND* my son heard that. And as a mother of a 16 year old son, a 19 year old son, and a 21 year old daughter--it's creepy. The implication that my son--who has seen me go through hell and high water with cancer and this gastric bypass--would even think about looking at my breasts is disgusting. This can only come from a woman with no children. The PA is probably like 35 (I am 44), no wedding ring. Normally, I wouldn't even mention any of that because I fully believe in living my own life and others live theirs but for f*cks sake, please don't foist your sick thoughts on me. I would like some thoughts on how I might handle this. I feel like I won't have the courage to say anything, for fear of being "gaslighted." But, I also feel like there is a lesson for their staff to learn. It occurred to me to write an anonymous letter to the surgeon/head of practice and give a little vague summary of what happened and advise that his staff might want to not be so catty, mean, and to stop violating HIPAA. I don't know. I just know it hurt. I'm hurt. Thanks in advance for any words of wisdom.