Hoping052017

So sorry you're going through this. I'm also having problems again. I eat, but it hurts all the time. I'm now taking protonix twice a day ands sucralfate multiple times a day now. I had another EGD done about a month ago and the office was supposed to call for a follow up (what my mom said, but I think I was supposed to call them). I'm still having issues. Still frequently vomit. Constantly have gas and pain. I'm tired of it. I had to switch to whole Fairlife milk to get my Protein in and coat my stomach enough. After the EGD mom said the dr told her the wasn't much change in my ulcer. But I hadn't been taking the sucralfate either. I had a major brain dump in September (18 years of amnesia because of a Migraine medicine) and didn't know I was supposed to be taking it. Now I'm waiting for a call back from the doctor to see when I can get back in to see them since things should be getting better and they aren't.

I'm so sorry to hear that. I usually dumbfound my doctors as well. Even since childhood. I hope your doc finds a solution for you!

I've had rally high B12 levels ever since my bypass in 2017. I take Celebrate 45 Multivitamin, which has 1,000mcg of B12 in it, so I'm essentially taking 3000mcg of B12 daily. But even when I stopped taking my Vitamins for 3 months prior to my 1 year checkup, my B12 levels were still through the roof (over 2000) Has anyone else had this issue and has it been an issue for you if you have? I've read highly elevated B12 levels can lead to depression (I already have major depression clinically diagnosed), dementia, and Alzheimer's Disease. My PCP is worried, but my bariatritions don't seem concerned. All I get is "that's fairly common with gastric bypass"

I have no energy at all. My depression is at a peak (and the Prozac isn't helping). And I'm just generally worried. My Grams died with dementia and my mom shows signs of it from time to time. Since it runs in families to begin with, I'm afraid of having something else that could make it progress early or at all.

I had to go in for a small bowel resection after a lot of pain as well. Thankfully, my doctor knows what he's doing. He ended up putting me on I think it's Privolex??? It's a form of Omeprezole, but more potent and the other that was mentioned above that Carafate. They actually had to basically do exploratory surgery on me. I was throwing up everything and had no appetite and it was nuts and I was hurting so bad. Dr. Mourot said that sometimes with an RNY a few people have problems with what he referred to as the "candy cane" part of the surgery. So they have to go in and remove that part and 9 times out of 10 they don't have any more problems. so that's what he did for me and that's when he found the small ulcer that none of the scopes had seen.

As for the delayed release of the Omeprezole, that, I was told was what was supposed to be happening. they wanted a continual dosage of the anti acid medicine to ward off excess gas and nausea and ulcers. i've always had excess acid in my stomach anyway, so the ulcer didn't surprise me. But he did stop the Omeprezole (I was supposed to be able to get off of it at a year anyway) but was put on a stronger anti acid med plus the carafate (which I never could figure out how to time with all the other medications i have to take for my mental issues and my back and Fiber issues) So, hopefully only 2 more months of the anti acid meds. I've been doing well since the small bowel resection though!

Good luck to you!

I dunno whether to laugh or laugh harder. Serious personality disorders if one changes every 10 pounds.

It has nothing to do with personality disorders and everything to do with what each 10 pounds lost brings to your life. With me, the first 10 pounds was before surgery. It was a great loss, but not much changing. Now, post surgery, every 10 pounds I have lost has brought new changes, new challenges to overcome, a new person every 10 pounds basically. The first 10 was a denial within myself that despite the weight loss that anything was really changing with my body. The second 10 was a realization that I can't wear most of my wardrobe because it's all too big. Along with that realization came the realization that I'm wearing clothes I haven't worn in 20 years.

Is 90% of the changes psychological? Yes! Did they constitute mental disorders? Do a lot of us have mental issues? Yes! But the changes that come with the rapid weight loss are NOT serious personality disorders!!! I can't believe one would even correlate a personality disorder with the changes that we all undergo as a result of our respective surgeries!

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My family, especially my mom and husband, were totally against me having wls surgery. My husband, no matter how educated he got on the subject was adamant about me not having the surgery. I know why now, but it has nothing to do with the surgery or anything and he's since passed so it was only my mom I had to contend with. What I did was ask her to go with me to a wls seminar one of the local hospitals was doing one night. She and my daughter (who was also freaking out about it) went with me to this seminar. My mom, even on the way there was against it. After the seminar was over, by the time we were half way back to the car, they were both telling me I HAD to have this surgery done. I was going to do it with or without the support, but I prefer having their support over fighting them on it.

Other people that ask about my weight loss I'm not ashamed to tell them what I've done. I'm proud of myself for choosing my life over food. I've even partially changed my mind on my career choice as a result of it. I still want my culinary degree, but I also want to go back to school to become a registered dietician/nutritionist so I can help more people live longer, more fulfilling lives, without the food dependencies.

I'm not sure this answers your question, but there you go.

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I am on my last day of preop. I cant believe I will have made it 15 days with no "food."

I go in at 4:30am. I hope to br home by 4pm. I am ready to get the healing started.

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Wow. I Had to stay overnight at the hospital. But I'm glad about that. I wasn't in any shape to be at home. On the up side, I was the first to go home of the four of us that had surgery that day.

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Sweet! Mine seems a little different than most as well! Breakfast and lunch is Protein Shakes. Two Protein Snacks can be bars, yogurt, whatever, and dinner is 6oz meat with non start veggie!

That's very similar to what mine was. But I only got 4 oz meat. [emoji4]

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Holy crap! 80% on this site regret their decision? ....I Sure don't!

Seriously?! 80%on this site? I'm not one of them either! I had my surgery 6 wks ago and it seems my diabetes is a thing of the past. My blood sugar levels are better than they ever were (even as a kid), I'm off my metformin completely, my blood pressure is better than my 11 year old daughter's and I was able to come off the main blood pressure medicine (I still take one, but it's for a tremor instead of blood pressure, which they said I'll have to keep an eye on if I start getting fainting spells again), and today I was able to fit into a pair of capris that have been hanging in my closet with the tags still on them for 8 years or more because they were given to me by my sister in law and they were always too small! Just for those reasons alone I would never regret having this surgery done!

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Im post op not pre op lol
i hear Women all the time talikng about their husbands. I just want to scream because my partner passed away in January 2016 and I have my surgery in November 2016 so I had to go through with no support

My condolences for you about your partner. I understand, though, about wanting to scream. I don't have a husband anymore, he passed 4 years ago. But I have my mom and kids. My heart goes out to you and my hat goes off to you as well. This isn't easy, even with support. Keep hanging in there! And remember you've got this!

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After you have your surgery you will have a lot of gas pain the gas x strips will help a lot with that. Mira lax is going to be your friend that is going to get things moving once you are able to start eating food it is a horrible feeling to be constipated after surgery. Bottled Water and flavor packets to put in them if you don't like plain water, sugar free pudding cups, SF popsicles, cream Soups, yogurt, Protein Shakes ( i like premier ), any medicines you need filled get them filled ahead of time so you won't have to stand in line or wait on them after surgery, Vitamins, i got sugar free hard candy to suck on after surgery because my mouth stayed dry

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Hmmm...I see a lot of people swear by the premier shakes, but my dieticians don't allow me to use them. They say that the vitamins in them aren't as digested as the shakes geared toward bariatric patients. Also cream soups and puddings (even sugar free) aren't allowed because they are fairly carb rich. Oh how I would love some chocolate pudding right now. Especially while my family eats mocha chocolate cream graduation cake! Lol

Sugar free popsicles... yes yes yes! And flavor packets! If you get a vanilla shake favor and get tired of it, you can add the sugar free water packets to that as well to change it up a bit!

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Hi I like the idea of the medicine cups. Where did you find them? Thanks

I didn't use medicine chips, but rather a "shot glass". Wal-Mart or any kitchen supply area should have a 1 oz measuring cup. (Wal-Mart is where I got mine). It will come in handy for cooking later on as well as helping with sipping now and post op.

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I'm curious why you need to add Gas-X strips? It is an Internet myth that they help with the CO2 gas pain in your abdominal cavity after laparoscopic surgery. That pain is only improved by lots of walking and time.

I am 5 weeks post op and the gas strips or chewable gas x (the equate brand is just as good, imo, and much less expensive) have been a life saver. It is true that they don't help with the CO2 gas (only walking helps with that) but it does help with actual gas. I used them a lot and still do since I'm still learning what my system can and can't handle. Sometimes I get gas from nothing (but I was that way before surgery too) so those chewable pills really helped and, to me, they don't take up space you need for your shakes and Water.

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Meetup doesn't have anything of interest in my area yet. The ones that do interest me, have no one attending. I honestly don't think I want to go with another bariatric patient. I just want to be normal and not labeled a bariatric patient like I have a disease or something.

Wow. All I hear is excuse after excuse from you. There have been so many really greasy suggestions for you and you shoot down every single one of them. Going to a support group meeting designed for bariatric patients is not putting a label on anyone. It is what it is. Believe it or not, most of us do have a disease if we've gotten to the point of needing bariatric surgery. It's called loving food too much. It's called co-dependency. It's called having a problem with food. Besides being "normal" is highly overrated. I, personally, don't want to date anyone "normal". For me, "normal" is boring and dull. If you don't want to take the advice of anyone, why bother asking for advice? Like someone else said, if you don't want to change your way of thinking about things, then you're not going to get very far. I'd be happy to date another bariatric patient. I know they want to better themselves and actually like themselves enough to help themselves. You may not like the label, but for whatever the reason, you ARE a bariatric patient and whatever problem you had with food to get to this point IS a disease, just like alcoholism. Deal with that fact first. Then try finding someone to be with.

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How can I be social with someone when no one responds to me? I'm not changing who I am just to meet a woman. I haven't even gotten to the point of meeting someone in person.

Try "meet up". Find a group that has the same interests as you. That's a good way to become more social. I believe it's meetup.com. It's a way to do what you like to do and meet new people in the process.

Going to local support group meetings either specifically for bariatric patients or Celebrate Recovery is another way to be more social and meet new people. Either way, you'd be able to meet people who either enjoy doing the same activities you like to do or people who understand the challenges we face as bariatric patients.

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Maybe not a first date but more like a third date....escape room. I flippin love escape rooms. It is a problem solving situation and it can really show a lot about how a person thinks and how they work under pressure.

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I didn't know those really existed. I've only seen them in movies. I know they aren't around here. Maybe Tulsa or OKC has them. Neat idea though.


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I got a cat so I'm good. Ironically my dates with the cat revolve around food. He only seems to come out of the woodwork when I have food.

That's a cat for you. Try living with 6 of them, 7 if you include my daughter (her nickname is Kat) lol! It seems even my daughter does that... only comes out when there's food involved. (She's almost 13) Lol.

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When you reply you aren't interested they either tell you off or argue with you. It is safer to just not respond.
I told several guys I wasn't interested because they had small children and they tried to convince me it wouldn't be an issue. I don't even want to date a dude with a cat let alone a kid. Not interested. Nothing wrong with it but "It's a no from me, dawg".
I met a dude for coffee over a year ago, told him I wasn't interested and he is still randomly calling and text me from different numbers.
It is better to say nothing and block them than take the chance on gaining their wrath. Men have no idea how dangerous dating is for women.

I agree with jlindeman. I would rather get a thanks, but no thanks than nothing at all. I don't even care if they don't give a reason. Not responding when someone puts themselves out there and takes a chance is just rude and insulting. I try to respond to each message, but then if i tell them no and they pull that "I'll change your mind" crap, then I'll ignore them. If they keep it up, then I'll block them. I also rarely give my phone number out. I'll chat through an app instead. Either through the dating site itself or through kik or viber or something like that. It's a lot safer then giving out your phone number to someone you don't know.

But getting back to the original topic... I loved the idea of going to a shooting range. I would never have thought of something like that. It sounds like fun. I wish there was a zoo close to here (closest one is 2 hours away) because that would be fun too. But for a first date, at least around here, karaoke or coffee/tea are about the only safe meetings that I can think of. Crystal bridges (our museum), though, could be another option. It's not too far away. Unfortunately, not knowing the town or surrounding areas of the op or others, it's really hard to suggest specific non food dates. I think there's been a lot of great suggestions though, depending on the areas people live in.

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What does courting entail? I was never taught these things. What is my end of the deal? If I court a woman, what should I expect in return? Men aren't very complicated. Either you like me or you don't.

Well, my mom and I try to teach my boys that they treat their ladies with respect. They are to open all doors (even car doors) for a lady (any lady - and yes I realize some women don't appreciate things like that, but there are still some of us that do). If you ask a lady out, bring her a flower (even if she's allergic, if she's a lady,then she'll politely accept and then politely inform you that she's allergic to them [emoji4]). If you ask a lady out, it's your responsibility to pay for the date. Usually, I, personally, like it when the man chooses the venue of the date. I was raised very old fashioned, bordering on 1950's, old fashioned. In return, you get a lady that will respect you and bend over backwards to make you happy. (At least if she's a lady, you will) And as far as you either like me or you don't... well that's the same with women too. But if you do put out the effort and the person you've tried to court doesn't appreciate what you've done for her, then I'm sorry, but she isn't a lady and it's not your fault she's a jerk... it's hers. And if she does appreciate your effort and the chemistry isn't there... That's not Your fault either. You dust yourself off and try again.

I understand most of this won't come through on an online dating app, but maybe there's someone you've been eyeing at the grocer that's not wearing a ring. Take the initiative and say something to her. Compliment her hair or her eyes. Let her know you've noticed her. Be bold. Who knows, maybe she's noticed you too and is waiting for you to make the first move.
The dating apps will only get you so far. I've met a couple of nice people on them. As a matter of fact, I met my best friend on OK Cupid two years ago. If things had turned out a little different we'd probably be together right now, but I digress. We still talk all the time and he's the only person I know that I can talk to about anything. Heck, we were on the phone with each other for 3 hours yesterday.
If there's an in person bariatric support group meeting in your area, start going to those. There's several singles that go to those and they are going through the same process you are. I'm actually hoping some day to find someone at my support group. I'm trying to remember the site name, but there's a site that allows you to join different types of groups in your area. For instance, if you like bicycling then you can find a group that gets together to go bicycling. If you like tabletop games, like Magic the Gathering or Yughio (I'm sure I spelled that wrong), there's groups that get together to play. Those are excellent opportunities to meet people that share your same interests.

Dating in this day and technological age isn't easy. I know. Online dating isn't the only thing out there, though. It's cool to be able to see what's out there, but it's not the end all be all. Get out there and live! You've given yourself a new lease on life by having this surgery. Don't sit behind your phone or computer screen hoping to find Ms. Right. Get your groove on and live and in the process, you may just trip over her![emoji6] It may sound Hallmarky, but never give up on love. You'll connect when the time is right. Believe me, I've been looking for 4 years now and I've been where you are (still there actually) and I've wanted to give up several times (especially after Monday's blows to my ego) but the truth is I don't think I'll ever give up. I may take a few steps back from the online dating thing, but I'm never going to give up on finding my Sir. My One that I can be proud to say "Hey! Look what I caught and he's all mine!" I believe he's out there. Just as I believe yours is out there too. Just don't forget to live while your looking. Because if you forget to live just because you're so busy trying to find your other half, then what was the point of going through this surgery? What was the point of getting healthy? Take care of yourself. And never give up!

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Men can also make a date with their friends so why do men have to do all the work of courting you and scheduling dates? Seems like a lot of effort when I can just hang out with the guys.

Because not all women are into the whole women's lib stuff. Some of us were raised that a gentleman holds the door, pays for the date, gives a girl his jacket if she's cold, etc. Personally, I prefer a dominant male. I want my male to be able to take charge. For me, it's a very sexy quality. Mind you, I also think any relationship should be a partnership. Plan the dates together. If you both can't come to an agreement on what the first date, or subsequent dates, should be then you probably have no business being together. So communicate with each other. That's what a good relationship should be based on anyway, in my opinion. Without that communication each person is left floundering around trying to decifer what the other wants or needs. Believe it or not, most people are not mind readers.

So, yes, I'm one of those women that want to be courted. I am a hopeless romantic that really would like to be swept off my feet by a man. But there's no way I would remotely expect that to be possible if the person I'm wanting to court me had no clue about my dietary restrictions. I actually have it in at least one of my profiles that I recently had weight loss surgery. I figure if I put that out there I have a chance of someone seeing me that's had it done themselves or know someone close to them thats had it done and can understand the restrictions and the activity level that is required or if they don't know what it entails, they can ask about it. But right now, since I'm only a month out, I'm just trying to avoid the whole meal thing just because I don't feel like messing with it. Set up a meet for coffee or tea. And pray they show up. But don't whine and gripe and complain about not being able to get a date without putting any effort into it. It's a two way street and if you message someone and they don't answer you, don't take it personally. My therapist told me to treat it like a game. Don't take someone not messaging you personally because that will just bring you down and make you depressed and make you feel rejected. People like that aren't worth a second glance. I've had to develop the "Well, it's their loss and they're missing out on all this awesome and that when the right someone comes around I pray that I'll recognize him.


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I emailed 150 women and got 1 response and she never replied to my follow up response. I haven't even gotten close to eve offering a date. Now I have to protect a strange woman in a crowd and hope I guess right on date suggestions. I'm just not cut out for this, evident by my lack of responses to my emails. I've only sent 1 email since May 1st. I really don't care anymore. It's more effort than it's worth.

Sometimes I agree with you. For sure. I don't know why I stay on them. I'm hoping to meet someone at a support group meeting. At least he would understand what we go through.

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You want them to choose the date but don't want to tell them about your limitations when it comes to food?
The more I read about dating, the more I realize I have no shot.

@sgc... I'm running into tons of headaches on the dating sites too. Most of the guys I've talked to are either con artists or just want a quick hookup. The ones that say they want a relationship, won't reply to messages or if they do they turn out to want money or sex. I actually got a date set up with one guy after talking to him for a couple of weeks and he ended up standing me up. So, I totally feel your pain. Some days I question whether or not it's even worth continuing the search on the sites. Just yesterday I talked to someone who wanted to meet he asked if weekends were okay. When I said yes, just not this weekend because my son is graduating he went off on me saying I was making things up just to come up with reasons not to meet him. It made me so mad I wanted to throw my phone across the room. It seems we're danged if we do and danged if we don't. Keep the faith. There's someone out there for us and when we least expect it they'll show up. I just pray I recognize him when it does happen and not let the experiences I've had hinder anything. Good luck in your search!

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I've seen on YouTube's vsg videos that some people struggle with lunch meat. When you're feeling brave again, see if you can eat that deli ham by itself. That' might've been your culprit.

I'll try again eventually. I did eat the deli ham by itself. I may have eaten too much or too fast. My tummy felt so inflated and just overall miserable. Same with the fish (haven't had a problem with tilapia though. The only time I've actually eaten anything together with anything else it was the cottage cheese and yogurt. I can eat cottage cheese by itself - no problem. I can eat yogurt by itself - no problem. But when I tried them together - sick, sick, sick.

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I'll be 1 month post op on 5/18/2017! Unfortunately, I live in Arkansas, so I don't know of any in person groups in your area. Have you asked your doctor's office? I feel blessed to have the office that did my surgery. I've seen so many here, on bp, who's offices don't provide post op support it's crazy! My office actually has in person support group meetings every month, a mentorship program, and online support. It's hard for me to imagine any office not providing some kind of support system. I don't know what I'd do without the support system my doctor's office provides. Feel free to pm me anytime. I'm not a guy, but I could lend an ear if you want. Good luck in your journey!

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I'm about a month out and per my docs, I was cleared for soft foods at 2 weeks (actually 2.5 since we have to wait until our 2 week checkup and mine was 2.5 weeks out) they said I could eat anything that could be cut with a plastic fork. That included soft beef (lean hamburger, soft stew meat, soft pot roast) I've noticed, myself, I have a problem with pink fish (salmon & tuna), scrambled eggs, deli ham, and cottage cheese with yogurt (definitely not doing that again since it was the ONLY time I've thrown up, though I can tolerate each on their own). I've had my mom's pot roast 3 times now and haven't had any problems with it, but it was plastic fork tender.

I think everyone's system is different. But if you can't cut it with a plastic fork, avoid it.

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